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Diamonds Into Snow

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Yixing hadn't always been addicted to Yifan and the multiple kinds of rushes he brought. He had been normal, a little boring some would say, but he never minded getting through life like that. He wasn't one to take risks, nor pursue anything that could possibly be illegal.

And so, it was a colossal leap from being the cute zoology major to the person who lit up whenever he was passed that small bag of white powder. Nobody had expected him to fall into the life that he did, but, it happened. And it wasn't long until it snowballed to consume him.

He met Yifan at a bar, the older male appeared to be happily buying all those at the establishment drinks with a thick wad of cash that was kept together with an ornate clip. Yixing just so happened to have caught the seemingly wealthy, benevolent and very attractive man's eye. Their relationship began then. Flirty eye contact shared as drinks were lifted to lips and drunk from, fleeting touches on arms and chests when the tall stranger finally came over and then, with it being the most crucial part, Yixing went willingly home with him. 

It should have rung alarm bells with how many locks and codes were needed to access the man's city house. Though, he wasn't so fussed by that when there were hands creeping into the front of his obscenely tight jeans. It should have given him a warning when the man named Yifan pressed him down onto a table that had something that looked like icing sugar dotted all over. It should have told Yixing to stop when he saw something shaped a little like a gun on Yifan's dresser while they went in for their second round.

But, Yixing ignored the signs. He stayed. For four days running.

That was the point of his descent into a life nobody anticipated for him. The initial things were small; holding onto packages for Yifan, picking him up from deserted streets and even keeping quiet about the gun he saw semi-regularly. As these things always progressed, it escalated. Yixing was soon sharing a post sex joint with Yifan, spending money that Yifan pushed into his pocket with a whisper of 'treat yourself' in his ear and even letting Yifan snort lines of whatever from the table as they ate. 

Things only worsened to the point of no return when Yixing found himself watching Yifan draw the gun out on one of their evening walks. Both of them had forgotten their wallets when they decided upon a late dinner. He was assured that it wasn't loaded but Yixing had felt the gun before, how it was too heavy to have nothing in. Yifan spoke with a serious whisper when he told Yixing to stay where he was, that it was a blind spot from cameras, then went on to enter a 24hr store. 

Yixing heard a faint scream then silence; no gunshots, no security alarms and no police sirens. Only a few minutes later does he see Yifan stroll out with enough money to keep them going for a few nights in a row. Yixing didn't say that what Yifan had done was morally and legally wrong, he found himself being pulled in.

He went as deep as to even join Yifan on a few of his escapades. Always dressed in black, always knowing camera placements and always going home with Yifan to be fucked into while money was scattered around them.

Whenever Yixing's conscience caught up with him, he always reminded himself that Yifan gave a large share of the money away. Whether it be to charities or people who seemed to need it, Yifan didn't care. Apparently, the young criminal was the son of some wealthy man who lived off corruption. It drove Yifan into a vigilante role, of sorts. Just one that seemed to get off on drugs and fear at all times. 

Like a child in a sweet shop, Yixing grew curious of the narcotics Yifan always seemed to have at hand. Which meant, just like the child who got his chosen bag of candy, he began to experiment and dabble in whatever Yifan was doing at that time.

A joint here and there escalated to turning up to lectures high. Weed turned to lilac pills that made him see differently, though Ecstasy was left behind once Yixing had a bad trip and Yifan had to talk him into putting a knife down that he threatened to use in himself. That was quickly replaced with what Yixing got hooked on. Cocaine. 

The younger thought they had sex a lot before he began using rolled up money to sniff up snowy trails from Yifan's bathroom counter. It was when his boyfriend watched him inhale the freshly cut coke that their physical relationship really started. 

Yifan couldn't resist it, he didn't care that Yixing knocked almost everything off the side of the sink as he took him from behind with the younger's face against the cold mirror. Yixing had changed something in Yifan, just like Yifan had in Yixing.

However, in one drug-induced haze, Yixing made a mistake. One that had him sobering up all too quickly. He moved. Only a few steps. From a spot that cameras couldn't see and into the fray that he and Yifan had created in a bank. It made everything real when Yifan was telling Yixing to pack a bag, to get his passport and clear any traces of either of them from their respective apartments. It surprised Yixing that Yifan didn't get angry, he only whispered very soothingly: 'it's okay' and 'Yixing, calm down. I love you, I'll make everything good again'.

It was strange rush every bad thing he did with Yifan felt so right. He should have hated, should have stayed away on that first night, yet, he found himself loving it. The thrill, the rush, the sex, the money, the drugs and the man that brought it all.

They got into a car, duffle bags of clothes, money and whatever else they could grab lined the back seats. Yifan drove well into the night. Yixing didn't know where they were headed, he didn't care. Not while Yifan was kissing the back of his hand affectionately. Towards Yixing, Yifan was a good man, a loving one who would rather take a bullet than let his boyfriend even graze his knee.

It was a wonder that Yifan got hooked on Yixing destroying himself, just as Yixing got addicted to the ruin that Yifan already was when they met.

Though, neither of them seemed to mind when they came to a cabin Yifan had procured the keys for.

They got settled without turning on a light until Yixing began to whine that he needed a fix. Yifan, being Yifan, couldn't say no when the smaller male was kissing him so sweetly while he asked, or begged, for anything. 

The potent cocaine that had so little glass in it to make it purer, it was almost too addictive. He knew Yixing was slipping down, that they would need to cut back once they'd worked out a plan but that thought left as soon as Yixing tore both of their shirts off.

The younger had developed a habit of playing on Yifan's slight fetish. His body definitely reacted whenever he saw Yixing with blown pupils, white dust on his nose and heard his groans of it feeling good. Yixing had taken to doing his lines off of Yifan, all while using his free hand to rub himself to hardness. It made Yifan need to relax, his body worked in overdrive to remove the image of Yixing doing such a thing. He shouldn't have indulged in it, the delights of Yixing and his addictions. But he couldn't help himself. He always gave in to the man he'd seen harbour a golden soul, he would let their bodies meet as the younger rode his high whilst chasing another one. A physical one. He could not stop himself from ruining Yixing.

Something so pure being so corrupted, that was what turned Yifan on.

Conversely, he could not stop himself from wanting to fix Yixing. To maintain the person Yixing was when they first met.

Something so corrupted clinging onto their purity, that's what Yifan was in love with.