Remus Lupin stumbled up the curving staircase that led to the Gryffindor boys' dormitory, exhausted and defeated after another prefects' meeting. It seemed to him that no one, apart from his friends, ever listened to his ideas. It did not help that the full moon was only three days away, either. In this mood, he just wanted to curl up in a ball and get some quality puppy-snuggles off Padfoot, Sirius's Animagus form.
Sirius, however, did not appear to be in the mood for snuggling. When Remus opened the door to their room, he was sitting cross-legged on Remus's bed, with a large book open in front of him, grinning like a maniac.
"Right," Remus said, rumpling his hair into spikes, as was usually James's bad habit. "You're smiling about a book. This is usually a signal to be worried. Don't keep me in suspense. What are you up to now?" He sat down on the bed beside the other boy.
Sirius said not a word, but turned the book around so that Remus could read the page to which it was opened. The grin stayed in place.
Remus raised his eyebrows at Sirius inquiringly. "Polyjuice potion?"
"Read the rest of it," Sirius urged.
If he had been Padfoot at that moment, Remus thought, he would have been running around madly, chasing his tail, barking his head off, and indiscriminately slobbering in the face of everyone in sight. Which was to say, he looked exceptionally pleased with himself.
Remus turned his eyes back to the crumbling parchment. "'For ye Wytch or Wizard who wisheth to, for a tyme, take upon Hymselfe the seeming or semblynce of an Othere Person.'" Remus sighed. "Okay, I get it. This could be great for pranks. But Padfoot, this potion looks really complicated." He ran his finger down the list of ingredients and the instructions for combining them. "It would take forever to get even half of this stuff."
"Already got 'em," Sirius replied smugly. "Potion's all brewed up."
"Oh, God! Is that what I smell in here?" Remus feigned gagging. The usual smell of the room -- the scent of exuberant and playful teenage boy, tinged with just a hint of sex -- was masked by something altogether less palatable. "Christ, I thought it was just Wormtail's socks!"
Sirius rolled his eyes, and Remus could tell that he was waiting for him to figure out the point of this experiment. Sirius loved nothing better than to see the look of dawning horror that slowly unfurled across Remus's face at the realisation of his more outrageous ideas. But Remus had not quite got there yet.
"Where did you even get this --" Remus closed the heavy book to peer at the ancient leather binding, "-- Moste Potente Potions. Padfoot, this is from the Restricted Section, isn't it?" He gave Sirius his best Prefect's Look, knowing that it would have no effect.
"Yeah," Sirius said proudly, flinging himself back onto the pillow, arms folded behind his head. "I got it out ages ago. Last Halloween. Borrowed Prongs's cloak to get it." He yawned with excessive casualness. "Took forever to get all the ingredients together."
Remus glanced out the open window at the warm spring sunset. "I dare say," he said drily. "All right, I give up. What in God's name are you up to?"
"Well," Sirius began slowly, apparently looking for the best way to say what he had in mind -- the best way always being whatever got the biggest reaction out of Remus. "Wormtail's out with Yaxley tonight --" They both rolled their eyes at this. Neither of them approved of Peter's attachment to Madeleine Yaxley, the flirt of Slytherin. "-- and Prongs will be meeting with Dumbledore and Evans for another hour yet to talk about Head things."
"With you so far," Remus said.
"I was just thinking --" Sirius continued.
"'Just thinking' for the last six months?" Remus inquired archly.
"Just thinking," Sirius flashed him a dirty look, "about what you said last summer." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Remus, who sighed.
"Padfoot, out with it! I said a lot of things last summer; you can't expect me to remember every last one."
"Sure, Moony; spoil all my fun," Sirius pouted. "What you said last summer, about what would it be like to -- you know -- with a girl."
Remus felt as though a Muggle light bulb had come on in his brain. "Oh." He considered for a moment. "So, you're saying we should use this potion to -- er -- find out?"
"I knew you'd get there in the end!" Sirius said, and leaned in to reward him with a kiss.
Remus allowed himself to enjoy the kiss for a moment before turning back to the book, opening it once more to the page describing the Polyjuice potion. "But look, Padfoot," he said, reading on. "'Ye Wyzard muste take some Small Parte of Ye Person whose semblynce he wisheth to achyve and add it lastlee to ye finish'd Potion.' We need a bit of a girl for this, Padfoot. How are we going to get that?"
Sirius just grinned wickedly and drew a single hair from the pocket of his robes. The hair glinted copper in the dying sunlight and Remus felt his stomach turn over in a way that had nothing to do with the smell of the potion.
"That's not --" he began, horrified.
"It is," declared Sirius triumphantly. "I got it off Prongs's robes after his first, last, and only date with Evans."
"No. Oh, no. She's my friend! She'll kill us --"
"Only if she finds out." Sirius was still grinning, and was now dangling the hair invitingly over a goblet full of foul-smelling gray sludge. "I won't tell her. C'mon, Moony; you know you want to!"
"What about Prongs? If he found out --"
"Then we'd better hurry, hadn't we?" And with that, Sirius dropped the hair into the potion, swallowing it in one gulp.
He dropped the empty goblet on the floor and made a face.
"Glah!" he gagged. "Strawberries! I hate strawberries! Is that what girls taste like? Oh, hang on --"
He went a bit cross-eyed and clutched his stomach. And then he began to change. Remus watched in fascination as Sirius's face underwent an amazing transformation. His cheekbones became less prominent. The dark shadow of hopeful scruff on his chin became pink and silky smooth. His eyes changed shape and turned green. His hair straightened, lengthened, and turned a vibrant coppery colour. His entire body seemed to shrink in on itself.
In under a minute, Remus found himself sitting beside Lily Evans -- but Lily Evans wearing Sirius's too-big clothes and a startled expression on her face -- her hands clasped to her not-insignificant bosom. Looking down at her breasts, she gave them an experimental squeeze.
When she opened her mouth to speak, it was Sirius's voice -- a little higher, but still Sirius's voice -- that said, "Brilliant!"
Something about this image broke through Remus's normally-reserved facade, and he burst out laughing. He laughed until his sides ached and he fell back on the bed, wheezing and fizzing at the ceiling. "God, if Prongs could only have seen that!"
"Lily" leaned over him, Sirius's best wide-eyed innocent expression on her face, strands of silken red hair falling to tickle Remus's ears and neck.
"What?" Sirius said winsomely, trying to imitate Lily's Yorkshire accent. "Don't you think I'm pretty, Moony?"
Remus was still giggling. "You could have chosen anyone, but you would pick one of the prettiest girls at Hogwarts. Just bad luck that she's the girl your best mate fancies. Or good luck that a strand of her hair managed to conveniently make its way into our room."
"Only the best for my Moony." The near-wolfish grin was pure Sirius, and looked all wrong on Lily's fine-boned face.
He shrugged out of the loose robes, slim white hands falling to the fly of his trousers. Graceful red eyebrows twitched invitingly at Remus as the trousers slid to the floor and "Lily" sat on the bed, wearing only Sirius's white school shirt.
"Merlin, Padfoot, but you've got balls!" Remus shook his head, still grinning.
"Actually, I don't at the moment." Sirius unbuttoned the top button of the shirt and peered critically down the front of it. "Damn. Evans is stacked!" He looked up at Remus. "So, are we gonna do this? The potion doesn't last forever, you know, and who knows when Prongs will be back?"
"Well," Remus considered slowly, "seeing as you've gone to all this trouble, just for me, I don't see how I can refuse. But really, Padfoot, shouldn't we have done this in the Shack?"
"Too late now!" Sirius declared, and pounced on him, straddling him and pinning his hands to the bed. "You're going to enjoy this whether you like it or not!"
Soft, pink lips were very close to Remus's. Lily's mouth was smaller and her tongue more delicate that Sirius's, but the kissing style was unmistakable. Lily had kissed him once in fifth year, but it had been nothing like this. This was very definitely Sirius. Remus was incredibly turned on.
Lily's face was smirking at him when he opened his eyes. "Liked that, did you? Let's find out what else you like."
Sirius began undressing him then, deftly flicking his shirt buttons open, sliding the trousers down his legs, running small, soft hands over his bare skin until there was no hiding what he was feeling.
"Oh, you do like this, don't you?" There was something at the same time disturbing, exciting, funny, and very sexy about Sirius's voice coming out of Lily's mouth.
He caught the girl-hands caressing him and pushed them away, raising his own hands to the buttons of Sirius's shirt, slowly opening them one by one.
Sirius was quiet. When Remus looked up into those green eyes, he caught a fleeting guilty expression.
"What's wrong?" he whispered, brushing the back of his hand against a smooth, lightly-freckled cheek.
"It's just -- well, Prongs is my best mate, and he never got to see this or touch this or -- or anything." Then the wicked expression was back. "Would you be jealous if I slipped this soft body into Prongs's bed one night?"
Remus grinned and flicked open the last button, pushing the shirt back from shoulders nearly as pale as the fabric. "Yes," he said firmly. "Yes, I would. Because whatever this body may look like, it's you, Padfoot. And you're mine."
He dug his fingers hard into the soft flesh to prove his point, and Sirius hissed slightly, then smiled and licked Lily's lips. In an instant, he was on his back with Remus pinning his slender wrists to the bed. "Besides," Remus went on, bending down to run his tongue along the sensitive white skin of Lily's throat, "once he got over the shock of his good fortune, he'd be in for another shock of a much less pleasant kind -- for him."
"That tickles!" Sirius giggled in a very girlish voice.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No. I want to see what else you'll do."
Remus closed his eyes and nuzzled between two perfect, lightly-freckled breasts, breathing in the scent, and pausing to nibble gently at a nipple, much more convenient and prominent than usual.
Padfoot, his nose told him. A very turned-on Padfoot.
"You still smell like yourself. A little like a girl, but mostly like you."
He let his nose and tongue keep wandering, allowing his wolf-senses to guide him until he arrived between supple, parted thighs.
"Wow," he breathed.
"What's it like?" Sirius's voice sounded even higher than before, and not a little nervous.
"Really strange. You're all wet here." He ran a finger over the slick surface to indicate where he meant.
Sirius squeaked and jerked away.
"Sorry." Remus withdrew his hand. "Did that hurt?"
"No," Sirius said slowly. "You just -- just startled me, is all. Damn, that feels weird!"
"Weird how?" Remus raised his head to look up the slope of abdomen and breast into green eyes again.
"Weird like -- I dunno -- sort of hot and swollen, but not like my cock at all. And I really want --" Sirius broke off, eyelids lowered, a slightly shy expression on his face.
"You really want what, Padfoot?" Remus slowly raised a hand and rested it on the mound of ginger curls. He could feel a surprising amount of radiant heat against his palm.
Green eyes gazed into his. "You. I want you, Moony. Inside me." It was a whispered and breathless confession Remus had heard before, and it always made him ache in the same delicious way.
With a wolfish growl, he pounced, pressing his body full-length against soft girl-flesh. Hungry lips found hungry lips and bruised one another in their urgency. He pressed a knee between smooth, hairless thighs, forcing them farther apart. The legs parted willingly, and Remus could feel the radiant, wet heat near his painfully hard cock.
"You want me?" His whisper was harsh, and he gently bit an earlobe, eliciting a soft cry. He felt the body beneath him arching, opening to him, wanting, pleading eloquently.
"Yes," Sirius's voice was a ragged gasp.
"I want you," Remus replied. "Sirius. Not Lily. You're Sirius and you're mine and I want you like this." He lowered his hips slightly, and the swollen head of his cock touched the slick entrance of his lover's body. "Say it."
"I'm Sirius," he moaned from Lily's lips. "I'm Sirius and I'm yours." Hips wiggled under Remus's, trying to force his movements. But he would not be rushed.
"You are mine, Padfoot. You, and no other. Always."
And yet he could not do it -- not while looking into those green eyes. His lashes fluttered closed, and in his mind's eye he sought gray eyes edged in black, and thrust his hips downwards.
Remus moaned aloud as tight, wet heat enveloped his sensitive flesh. Sirius gave a sharp cry. He wondered vaguely if he was hurting him, and thrust again, harder. Supple legs wrapped around his waist, and hips rolled invitingly against his.
"Wha -- what does it feel like?" came a shaky voice in his ear.
"Amazing. It feels really fucking good," he panted. They were moving in rhythm now, and it was all Remus could do to hold back, making the moment last. He summoned the presence of mind to ask, "How does it feel to you?"
"Weird. But --" Sirius gasped as Remus thrust hard again, "-- but good. I -- I think you should go faster."
Remus nodded. His skin was prickled with sweat at the effort of holding himself in check. But he knew those sounds Sirius was making -- small sounds that meant he was nearing climax, and Remus realised he badly wanted to make Sirius come in this body, just to see if he could. He slowed his movements.
"Tell me what to do."
Sirius grasped one of Remus's hands, and pressed it between their hot, sticky bodies.
"There's a spot -- just there. I think -- I think it would feel really good if you touched it. Oh!"
"Gently! Yes, like that. Oh, yeah --"
Remus began the relentless rhythm of his hips again, making small circles with his finger at the same time. Familiar moans were coming from between Lily's parted lips.
"Please," Sirius panted in his ear. "Please, now! Fuck me! Fuck me hard! Oh, God --"
Remus pulled his hand away and began pounding into his lover for all he was worth. He was so close. Any second now --
There was a sound from across the room, but it was too late, and he was already tipping over the edge.
"Padfoot, Padfoot," he murmured into the tangle of copper silk, just as Sirius cried out, "Oh, God, Moony! Oh, God, I'm coming!"
Their hips bucked together, fingers digging into one another's flesh as the waves washed over them.
At last, they collapsed, gasping, in a tangle of sweaty limbs.
They froze. Neither of them had spoken. Slowly, they turned their heads toward the door where James stood, stricken, one hand steadying himself on the doorknob.
"Prongs!" Remus cried, trying to cover himself and shield the transfigured Sirius at the same time. But there was no way he could not have seen.
"What in the name of Godric fucking Gryffindor is going on here?" In his shock, he sounded more curious than angry. He did not look as if he was about to avert his eyes. "This is a nightmare. No, this is worse than a nightmare. I'm dead. I've tripped on the stairs and fallen to my death and gone to hell. And Moony is the devil. And Lily -- Lily, how could you?! After -- this is not funny, you two!"
But Sirius was bright red and gasping with laughter, and even Remus could not suppress a nervous giggle.
"Oh, Jesus, Prongs! If you could only see your face!" Sirius gasped at last.
James stared. "Hang on a minute. What did you say?"
"Prongs, it's me," Sirius managed, still suppressing shudders of laughter. "I -- we -- it's a potion. It's just a potion. Calm down, mate. It'll wear off in a bit." He and Remus had managed to get themselves semi-decently covered with various pillows and comforters.
"Prongs --" Sirius began again. "James, turn around. Go down and sit in the common room. Hell, sit on the steps. Just let me get decent and back to normal, and then I'll come down and explain the whole thing. You might even laugh," he added hopefully.
"I might even kill you both," James replied, but he turned around and left the room.
When the door had closed behind their friend, Remus and Sirius dissolved into helpless laughter once more.
"Poor Prongs," Remus was fighting for control over his breathing and his face. "He's going to be stuck with that mental image until the day he dies!"
Sirius snorted. "Well, so long as he doesn't tell Evans, we may yet both outlive him."
They grinned at one another, gray eyes into gold.
"My turn next time?" Sirius asked.
"In the Shack next time," Remus admonished, prefect facade back in place.