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Christmas Kisses

Chapter Text


Spike slammed back the shot of whiskey, and he pounded the glass on the bar in front of him to let the barkeep know he was ready for more. What a way to spend Christmas, the morose vampire muttered to himself. Why the hell did Dru have to scamper off with the bitch? She knew how much I love lie ins on the holidays. It's all Darla's fault. She knows that Dru is sickly, but I swear she's trying to get Dru dusted. Spike nodded his thanks to the bartender when the Mugguyver demon refilled his shot glass.

Spike turned around to study the crowd. His eyebrows shot up when he noticed a monstrously huge and ugly Yokk demon and a fairy-like Foi demon snogging in the corner like long lost lovers. Spike found this odd because every demon knew the two species had a long running feud that spilled into every dimension.

The blond vampire noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. He glanced over just in time to see a sprig of mistletoe inch towards him. Spike could sense there was something very wrong with this plant. The bloody thing made Audrey II from that stupid ass movie, Little Shop of Horrors, look like a pussycat. This was odder than the snogging, feuding demons.

My name isn't Audrey. It's Rosebud.

Spike gaped at the sentient flora. He knew he was evil and scary, but this was downright horrifying. He glanced around to see if anyone else heard the plant.

Don't worry, vampire. Your mortal enemy isn't here. She is just now learning her potential.

"What?" Spike's eyes fell on the still kissing demons. "That is so... insidious." He shivered in disgust. It would be a cold day in Hell before he kissed his mortal enemy. Little did he know that Hell would be frozen over that very evening.

Just for that, vampire. The first Christmas after you meet the most mortal of enemies, the one destined to be your downfall, you will find yourself locking lips with her. That'll teach you to laugh at me.

"I must be drunker than I thought," Spike muttered. "I'm listening to a soddin' plant."

I'm more than a plant, vampire. I'm all the repressed desires harbored between mortal enemies brought to life, and I'm stuck in the most innocent looking item. The mistletoe under which the Christmas kiss happens. Someday, I shall rule the world.

Spike grimaced at the maniacal laughter that echoed through his skull. It reminded him too much of his absent Sire. She was so beautifully insane. Spike's heart filled with loneliness at the thought of spending the night alone.

You don't have to be alone. Your mortal enemy is right over in Orange County. She's young, and she's still in denial. She'd be easy to get a smooch-a-roo on.

"Shaddup," Spike growled. "I don't want to kiss a bloody Slayer. I'd sooner snog Angelus." His lip curled in repulsion.

That can be arranged. His broody soulfulness is stalking the Slayer as we speak. He thinks a century of indifference deserves a reward.

"Angelus has a soul?" Spike hooted. Then, he processed the mistletoe's other words. "You know, I thought there was something different about him on that U-boat."

Yes, he has a soul. Now, come on. You come kiss the Slayer now, and I'll change the stipulations of our next meeting.

"Change how?" Spike eyed the demonically possessed plant with suspicion.

I'll make sure Angelus is a witness to said smooch-a-roo.

"You'd do that? You'd let me snog Angelus' sweetie bear, no consequences, right in front of him?" Spike rubbed his hands together in anticipation. He'd wanted to show up the elder vamp ever since Angelus had shagged Drusilla in front of him that very first time.

I'll even make sure she enjoys it, not matter how much she protests to the contrary.

"You got yourself a deal. I'd shake your hand, but you don't have one," Spike chortled. He wondered if he could pick something up to eat on the way to L.A. Rosebud twined itself up his arm to Spike's shoulder.

When the vampire and his hitchhiker left, the Yokk demon and the Foi demon sprang apart since they were no longer under the mistletoe's influence. They stared at each other for a few moments before they sprang back into each other's arms. They soon became known as the Romeo and Juliet of the demon world.


Spike strolled into the nightclub, and he inhaled sharply. The smell of teenage hormones were always a turn on for the blond vampire. There was nothing quite as delicious as making a late night snack out of some silly little bint willing to follow him out into the darkness.

Humans are so easy. In just a few minutes, they're gonna do something every vamp lives for.

"Lights out, huh?" Spike scanned the crowd. His eyes landed on a young girl, one younger than his usual nightclub fare. She laughed and danced with her friends. She had a bright smile on her face, and when she threw her head back in mirth, her shiny blond hair bounced enticingly.

I see you found your quarry already. You have a sharp eye.

"That's the Slayer?" Spike asked incredulously. "I know I'm the Slayer of Slayers, but she's just a bloody child."

She'll be sixteen in less than a month, vampire. You've never been this squeamish before.

"Haven't ever been looking just for a snogging since I was human, either." Spike shrugged dismissively.

Hmm. Somehow I don't think William would have known what to do with a woman.

Spike snarled in response. He methodically circled the room until he was in the perfect place to capture the Slayer when the lights went out. He knew he should just keep her, remove her from the club and take his third Slayer. Somehow though, he felt that if he did that his unlife wouldn't be nearly as interesting. When the lights finally went out, Spike changed into game face, and he quickly located the Slayer in the darkness. He stepped up behind her.

"Who is that?" she demanded when his hands landed on her shoulders. She gave a cute little squeak when he whirled her around. "Bobby, is that you? I already told you I wasn't interested."

"I'm not Bobby, luv," Spike whispered. "I'm the Big Bad Wolf here to eat up a pretty little Slayer." He slipped out of his vampiric guise. There was no point in scaring her this time.

"Huh?" she grunted. Any other response was lost when she found her lips covered by this dashing sounding stranger.

Spike sighed into the sweet hot mouth beneath his own. His hands slipped off her shoulders, down her back to settle around her hips. Her small hands both pushed and pulled against him, and with each shifting of her body the scent of her burgeoning arousal wafted to his nose.

Lights are coming up in just a few, vampire.

Spike pulled his mouth away from the Slayer's, only to have her mewl in protest. She tugged on his duster lapels in an attempt to have his mouth cover hers again.

"Until next time, luv," Spike whispered. He backed away, and he disappeared into the sea of bodies. When the lights came back on, he looked back to see a totally dazed Slayer holding her hand against her lips. He heard one of her friends squealing above the din of the other clubbers.

"Buffy, you look like you were totally ravished. Was it anyone we know?"

Spike chuckled at the Slayer's response.

"I think I was. No, it wasn't anyone we know, but I think I'll be hearing from him again."

Until we meet again, vampire.>

Spike whistled as he left the nightclub. Unlife was sure to much more interesting from here on out. Just as soon as he met up with the Slayer again, that is.