Title: I Would Do Anything
Summary: AU: Emily and JJ face a serial killer when things go very wrong.
Fandom/Pairing: Criminal Minds - Jennifer JJ Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Rating: NC-17/M Sexual Situations involving women, Violence, basic smut
Word Count: 26,014
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, just having some fun with them. They are owned by CBS Corp. No profit is being made with this story.
Editing work done by Thelightwentoff
A/N 1: This started as a short fic, but just took on a life of its own. Due to the length I will post this story into multiple parts.
Xposted: LiveJournal.com, FanFiction.net
Originally written May 1, 2010 Updated July 31, 2013
I Would Do Anything
Prentiss : Author Harlan Ellison wrote, "The minute people fall in love, they become liars."
She heard voices yelling all around her. Something was wrong. Something bad had obviously happened but Emily Prentiss had no idea what it was. She was too tired to care what kind of ruckus was going on around her, "I just need to close my eyes for a little," she thought, "I wish they would all shut up so I can get some sleep!"
"Emily? Emily, honey, can you hear me?" a familiar voice said from somewhere up above her. "Stay with me Emily, please!"
"Tired," Emily managed to reply. "Just wanna sleep."
The voice became louder and more insistent. "Emily! Look at me, Emily! You're gonna be alright, honey. Help is on the way."
"I'm fine, fine," mumbled Emily. "No biggie, just need ta rest."
Emily felt a hand take her face and turn it. "Open your eyes, sweetie, look at me now," the voice said.
Opening her eyes, Emily looked into familiar blue eyes. "Hey JJ!" she slurred. "How are ya, angel? Why do you look so scared? I fixed everything didn't I? No one’s gonna hurt you now."
Fighting her tears, JJ looked down at Emily's waist and the blood stain that was growing larger under Morgan's hands.
"Where the hell is that ambulance?" JJ wailed.
"The EMTs are coming in now," Morgan replied. He looked up at Emily's pale face, "What the hell were you thinking Prentiss? You were told to wait! We would’ve gotten to JJ in time. You knew that! What made you do it?"
As Emily started to slip out of consciousness, she looked at JJ and softly answered, "I'd do anything for love."
The EMTs rushed in and took over from JJ and Morgan - a chaos of practiced movements to get Emily stable enough to be transported to the hospital. Morgan stepped over to JJ and placed his hands on her shoulders to gently move her out of the way.
"No! Let me go, Morgan! I'm not leaving her!" JJ cried, trying to yank away.
"Let them do their job, baby," Morgan whispered, "There’s nothing more you can do now, but pray."
JJ struggled against Morgan for a moment, and then suddenly noticed the blood-spatter on her shirt. The sight of Emily's blood, soaked across her chest and down to her waist, was too much and she broke down and began to sob.
In a hushed voice, JJ said "Oh, God! Please don't let her die, please!" She turned and burying her face into Morgan's chest she sobbed, "She jumped in front of me. There was nothing I could do! He shot at me and she jumped in front of me! Why would she do that, Derek? Why?"
Morgan looked at JJ with a combination of pity and regret, "You know why, JJ. You know why."
They stood back and watched the flurry of activity surrounding Emily, as the medics moved her to a stretcher and out to the waiting ambulance. JJ grabbed one of the EMT's arms as he passed, "Will she be ok?"
The EMT glanced at her and said, "She's stable but in bad shape." and pulled away from her.
The ambulance sped away with lights flashing and sirens blaring.
Morgan led JJ to his car and drove her as fast as possible to the hospital as the rest of the team followed in the team SUVs.
As soon as JJ and Morgan arrived at the hospital emergency room, JJ rushed up to the desk demanding information.
"Emily Prentiss. She was just brought in. I need to know how she is."
The nurse at the front desk looked up and asked, "Who?"
Taking a deep breath, JJ tried again. "Special Agent Emily Prentiss was brought in by ambulance with a gunshot wound to the abdomen. What is her condition?"
The nurse turned to the computer and tapped some keys. Looking up she asked, "Are you family or an authorized guardian?"
"Are you kidding me?" JJ exclaimed.
Leaning forward she spoke in a low threatening tone, "I am FBI Special Agent Jennifer Jareau. I am the highest authority here at this moment. Emily Prentiss is my coworker, my friend. You will tell me how she is and where she is immediately!"
"Sh-she was taken to emergency surgery, th-third floor," stammered the nurse.
Without a backward look, JJ turned and ran to the elevators with Morgan close behind.
Later, as the rest of the team began to filter into the waiting room, each approached JJ to offer comfort and support. The last to arrive was Penelope Garcia, who rushed up to JJ and pulled her into a fierce hug.
"Oh, JJ, I'm so sorry! Is there any news? Are you ok? Can I do anything for you, hon?"
JJ held tightly to her best friend, glad that she had managed to get there and for the second time that night broke down and sobbed.
Garcia looked around at the team and motioned that she was taking JJ to another area, where they could be in private. "Come on, JJ. Auntie Penelope is here. Let's go over here and you can cry all you need, ok?"
Sitting down on a bench in the hall, Garcia took JJ into her arms. As JJ's tears began to subside, Garcia pulled back and lifted JJ's chin so she could look into her eyes.
"JJ, honey, do you want to talk? It might help and you know Auntie Penelope will never say a word."
Giving Garcia a small grateful smile, JJ nodded. "I was so stupid, Pen. I should have known Emily would do something like this. God, how did this happen? What if she dies, Penelope? I'd finally realized that..."
Looking at her best friend, the one person she knew she could trust with her secret, JJ quietly stated, "It's hard to love someone when you don't, but it's harder to pretend that you don't love someone you do."
Garcia smiled and replied, "Just figured that out, huh?"
"Do you remember last month, when you, Em and I went out drinking for my birthday?" JJ asked suddenly.
Laughing, Garcia said, "How could I forget? You and Emily got so trashed! I couldn't stop laughing at the two of you. I mean, come on! It was so obvious that Emily had a huge crush on you and you were acting so oblivious!"
"What?" A startled JJ asked.
Rolling her eyes, Garcia laughed. "Oh please JJ! Don't tell me you didn't notice it. When Emily started to sing that old Meatloaf song to you? Oh, my God! The look on your face was priceless! I can still hear her..."
“I would do anything for love,
and I'll be there till the final act.
And I would do anything for love,
and I'll take the vow and seal a pact.
But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way, tonight.
And I would do anything for love,
but I won't do that."
As she listened to Garcia sing the lyrics, JJ was brought back to that night. The night where it all really started...
One Month Ago; Washington, DC
Emily leaned into JJ as she sang, so drunk that JJ wasn't sure she wouldn't fall out of her chair. Garcia was sitting across from them, head lying on the table, lost in helpless giggles at the sight of Emily serenading JJ.
Blushing furiously, JJ tried to make Emily stop but wasn't getting anywhere with her. She kept trying to say ‘stop’ but would start to laugh instead. When the song came to an end, Emily just looked at JJ with a silly grin on her face.
Embarrassed and having no idea how to respond, JJ asked, "So what exactly would you do for love, Em?"
"Anything." Emily simply responded.
"Oh, I'm sure you can be more specific than that," JJ teased back.
Struggling to sit up straight, Emily looked over at Garcia, who, still giggling, watched with interest.
"Anything," she shrugged. "All the stuff I've done for years and then some, I would get your coffee, go pick up your dry cleaning or your lunch. I would cover for you when you were late for work or skip out on a date if you wanted to go somewhere."
Startled by Emily's use of the word 'you', JJ tried to lighten things up a little.
"That's stuff any good friend would do, it doesn't mean you love them. We're talking love here, right? Hell, Garcia does all those things for me and we're not in love."
JJ knew she was pushing Emily's buttons, as well as taking this conversation in the wrong direction but she couldn't stop herself.
"The song is about the extremes a person would go to win the love of the one they desire. I like when you get me coffee, but that doesn't exactly make me want to fall in love with you." JJ continued laughing.
Frowning, Emily looked at JJ, "Oh, you want the deep shit huh? The extremes I would go to for love? Okay." Emily paused to consider her answer; she took a deep breath then said, “I would pretend I don't notice you at all. For love! I would stand inches from you, so close I could smell your shampoo, and not touch you. For love!"
JJ glanced over at Garcia, who had a sad yet perceptive look on her face, which increased JJ's unease. "Hey, I was just joking, Em. No reason to get so serious. You don't want to kill your high do you?"
Emily continued as if she hadn't heard JJ, "I would watch you throw your life away and not interfere. For love! I would say nothing as you spent more and more time with someone who you didn't love. For love! I would send you away and into the arms of a man who doesn't deserve you. All for the sake of sweet, precious love!"
Sighing, Emily finished with, "For love. I would try to convince myself that it was for the best. That I didn't love you at all. That I never did. I would gladly give my life for you. For love! Is that extreme enough for you Jennifer?"
Abruptly Emily stood up, swaying a little. She looked first at JJ, then Garcia and swore.
"Shit! I never should have drunk all those damn margaritas! Look, just forget...forget I said anything. I'm drunk, very drunk, and I need to go home. JJ, I...just forget it, okay?" She turned and rushed out of the bar.
Garcia and JJ stared after her as she left. Garcia turned to JJ, "Wow! That was intense. Ummm, maybe you should go after her, JJ."
JJ nodded and rushed out into the night after Emily. As she exited the bar, she looked to the right - the direction of Emily's apartment - then to the left. She saw Emily weaving down the sidewalk, going in the wrong direction.
"Emily! Wait up!"
JJ ran up to Emily and grabbed her arm. "Hey, you're going the wrong way."
As she turned to face JJ, Emily stumbled and fell into the blonde, who caught her around the waist and pulled her close to stop her fall.
For a moment the two women just stared at each other, faces within inches of the other. JJ licked her lips nervously as Emily looked into her eyes. Just as quickly the moment passed and Emily straightened and pushed herself away.
"What the hell do you care which direction I'm going?" Emily angrily replied. "I'm a grown-ass woman, and can go any way I want!"
For a moment, JJ considered walking away and letting this stupid, stubborn woman find her own way home. Instead, she sighed, took Emily's hand and said, "Come on, I'll get you home."
When they reached Emily's apartment, JJ turned to her and said, "Are you sure you’re alright, Em? Do you want me to walk you up?"
Considering for just a second, Emily slurred, "I don't care. Do what cha want."
JJ placed her arm around Emily's waist and helped her into the apartment building, continuing to hold onto her all the way to her apartment. She took Emily's keys from her, opened the door, and then led Emily inside.
"Sit down, Em, and I'll go make some coffee."
Zigzagging across the room, Emily headed for the kitchen. "I kin do it. Nuttin’ wrong with my hands or legs."
Exasperated, JJ reached out to stop Emily. "Just let me do it, ok?"
With a sudden vicious jerk, Emily whipped around and grabbed JJ by the shoulders. She slammed her back into the door and shouted into her face, "I said I can do it! I don't need your pity, Jennifer! I don't need anything from you!"
Shocked by this sudden outburst, JJ froze, afraid that if she moved Emily would totally lose it.
"I'm just trying to help, Em." JJ whispered. "You're still really drunk."
"Drunk! Yeah, that's right. I'm drunk! So fuckin' drunk that I have no idea what I'm saying or doing! Isn't that right, Jennifer?" Emily roared. "Let's just blame everything I said on being drunk. Does that make you feel better, Jennifer? Well, you can chalk this up to me being drunk too, dammit!"
She lunged forward and crushed her lips against JJ's. No finesse, just raw emotion, as she pressed her mouth almost painfully against JJ's. Her eyes widening in shock, JJ tensed but did not struggle. As the kiss continued, JJ slowly closed her eyes, becoming lost in it.
She knew she should push Emily away from her, but a part of her refused. Deep down she knew that she’d been waiting so long for Emily to kiss her that she just couldn't stop her. She gave a low moan, and brought her hands up to Emily's face. She ran her tongue against Emily's closed lips, seeking entry. Emily eagerly parted her lips and took JJ in.
The kiss had become less violent and more sensual as the women became lost in it. Emily moaned deep and low in her throat as a myriad of feelings coursed through her body. She pressed herself harder into JJ, hungry for more contact with the blonde woman that she had dreamed of for so long.
JJ felt her head spinning as lightening flashed behind her closed eyes. She had never been kissed like this before, didn't know a kiss could be like this. She was hyper aware of Emily's body pressed into her as well as the feel of moisture that was growing between her thighs.
The need to breathe finally won out over the desire to continue to kiss, and their lips separated. JJ fought to regain her senses, as she looked into Emily's eyes. She so wanted this to not end. She wanted more, whatever Emily wanted to give her. She started to open her mouth to voice those needs when Emily suddenly stepped back.
"Oh, fuck!" Emily exclaimed. "JJ, I'm sorry! I...Oh, shit! I didn't mean to, I shouldn't have done that."
"It's ok, Em. Really, it is," JJ soothed.
"No it's not! God, you must think I'm a monster! Please, you should just go, okay?"
"Em..." JJ began.
"Please, JJ. Just go. I'm drunk. I'm an idiot. This can't happen, not like this. Please?" Emily begged.
Though she ached to continue, JJ was also confused and hurt by Emily's reaction. "OK, if that's what you want, I'll go. We can talk about this later, all right?" Not bothering to wait for Emily's reply, she turned, opened the door and walked out.
The next day JJ was anxious to see how Emily would behave. She was scared that Emily would just shut her out and pretend that nothing ever happened, and she couldn't stand that.
When Emily arrived, she went directly to her desk, put her things down and walked over to JJ.
"Umm, JJ, you got a minute?"
"For you I do, sure." JJ answered.
Looking around, Emily said, "Can we go into the conference room for a minute, I think we need to talk and here is not a good place to do it."
Nodding, JJ stood up and walked to the conference room with Emily trailing behind her. JJ's mind was whirling with possible reasons for Emily wanting to talk to her in private. As they entered the conference room, JJ turned towards Emily and waited for the brunette to speak first.
Nervously, Emily took a deep breath and sighed, "Look JJ, about what happened last night. I don't know what came over me, I was so angry and so drunk, I couldn't think straight. I had no right to yell at you or try to force myself on you like that. You’ve every reason to hate me and never want to talk to me again." She looked at JJ, who was just standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, looking very annoyed. "I know what you think, but I can't explain why I did what I did. It's not like I mean it, I mean, I don't..."
Throwing her hands up in the air, JJ hissed, "You can't explain? You were so drunk? What kind of bullshit is that?"
Blinking in surprise at the fury in JJ's voice, Emily croaked "What do you mean?"
"You know damn well what I mean!" JJ shot back. "First you get all maudlin and sarcastic on me, calling me Jennifer every five seconds, then you turn into this crazy bitch from hell for no good reason! And just when I think I need to get out of there and let you sleep it off, you kiss me! And you're actually gonna stand there and tell me you were so drunk you couldn't control yourself?"
"I was drunk!" Emily said defensively.
"And that’s supposed to mean what exactly? What the fuck, Emily, do I look that stupid to you? Oh, and let's not forget ‘it’s not like you meant it’. It sure as hell felt like you meant it! Boy, you sure know how to make a girl feel special!" JJ ranted.
Struggling to find the words, Emily saw the hurt and confusion on JJ's face. "JJ, what can I say to make you understand? Do you think I want you to believe that's how I normally act, that I'm some kinda brute? I was trying to tell you that I don't act that way, especially with someone I care about!"
Seeing JJ's icy glare, Emily knew she had to tell her the truth if she wanted to save any part of her friendship with this woman.
"JJ, dammit, I don't even know how to say this! You know I'm a failure when it comes to opening up, but I can't stand that you feel I insulted you. I'm not sorry I kissed you, I'm not. I'm sorry how I kissed you! I'm sorry I couldn't explain to you why I needed you to go!"
"What the hell are you talking about, Emily?" JJ demanded. "Just spit it out for God's sake!"
Blushing furiously, Emily confessed, "I've wanted to kiss you for so long. I've wanted to tell you how I felt but I could never find the right time. Shit! I had built this great story in my head where I would tell you that I was falling for you, and you would take me in your arms and...but what do I do? I wait until I'm stinking drunk and being an asshole to not tell you, but grab you like a caveman! JJ, I admit, that was the best kiss I ever had, but it was not how I wanted it to be." Emily rambled. "I wanted to sweep you off your feet, not slam you into a door!
“I wanted you to stay. Oh, God did I want you to stay last night. But we both had too much to drink and I didn't want it to be like that. It wouldn't have been you wanting to stay, it would have been the alcohol, and you would have hated me for letting it happen. Can't you see that, JJ?" Emily pleaded.
So startled by this outburst of honesty, JJ was having trouble processing it all. "You're falling for me? You mean, falling in love, falling?"
"Yes," whispered Emily
So many questions and thoughts were streaming through JJ's mind that she was at a loss for words. She didn't know what she had expected but it definitely was not that. She was staring at Emily, who would not raise her head and meet JJ's eyes.
"Falling in love with me? Emily, I had no idea you felt like that about me. Why didn't you say anything?" JJ shook her head. "You could have told me in Miami. When I came to you about Will, I was waiting for you to stop me, to tell me something…anything. Did you really think I hadn't noticed the secret looks, the small touches, the things you would do for me? I thought I was imagining it all, just wishful thinking on my part." JJ lifted her hand to her head as if in pain. "Instead you tell me to go to him. That it's the right thing, the only thing to do. If you were falling in love with me, how could you say those things to me? How could you..."
Emily's eyes had gone dark, and anger was rising in her face. "How could I? How could I? You have got to be kidding me! How can you even ask me that?" she hissed. "Why would I think you wanted anyone other than him? You'd been screwing around with him for months in secret, flying to New Orleans every fucking weekend! You didn't come to me because you wanted me to stop you or to tell you it should be me, you wanted permission to go and play house!"
"Is that how you saw it?" JJ protested.
"That's how it was!" Emily stepped closer to JJ with clenched hands, "You made your choice, and you chose to play in a swamp with a bat and ball! Now you know you fucked up and you need someone else to blame! Well, it's not gonna be me! Not this time!"
Fury had begun to build in JJ, she knew Emily was right but she would be damned if she would give this stubborn woman the satisfaction of admitting it. As she ramped herself up for a full fledge battle, a knock came at the conference room door. The door opened and Morgan peered in, "Hotch wants everyone in five minutes."
Both women glared at him before responding, "Fine."
After Morgan had beat a hasty retreat, JJ turned back to Emily, "We're not done here, but it will have to wait. No way am I letting you get away with a remark like that!"
"Truth hurts, huh?" Emily shrugged as she walked out of the room, "Whatever. Call me when you can find the time."
Mena Memorial Hospital – Present Time
JJ was startled back to the present by Garcia's voice.
"Earth to JJ. Hello...anyone home?"
"Sorry, Pen. Guess I was lost in thought." JJ said.
"Ya know," Penelope said, "You never told me what happen when you went after Emily that night."
Looking at Penelope for a long moment, JJ said quietly, "She kissed me."
"She what?" Penelope squeaked. "And you never told me? Oh, you are in so much trouble sister! Spill! I want to know everything. What happened when she kissed you? Was it fabulous? Come on...details chickie, details."
Laughing, JJ said, "Not much to tell really. She kissed me. She got upset. I left. End of story." Penelope raised her eyebrow in a silent question. "And yes, it was fabulous. Hell, better than fabulous. That girl can kiss!"
Penelope clapped her hands gleefully, then seemed to remember why they were there. "Oh, honey. This must be so hard for you. I'm going to go and see if Hotch has any news."
"Okay, I'm just going to stay here." JJ responded as she drifted back into her memories.