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Dreams and Drumsticks

Summary:

At a tiny studio in the heart of Tokyo, five aspiring musicians struggle to achieve their dreams against all odds.

Notes:

An old fic posted at my live journal account ages ago. In honor of Jump's tenth year... I'm attempting to have a total of 10 fics on my dash to start the year including some of my old fics that I personally like. I've done new editing, but I'm warning you beforehand about the cheese.

This fic was a Yuto bday dedication as well as a fic dedicated to my two oldest LJ friends. It draws its inspiration from Yuto's penned song, DASH!

Original RUN: "14 October 2010 - 22 June 2011"

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Pulsating Noise

Chapter Text

 

“Ni-san, are you okay?”

Yuto pulled his knees closer to himself, wrapping his shaking arms around them. His body was completely drenched with sweat and the cold morning air sneaking in from the partly open window was making him shiver. He gazed up hazily at the smaller form of his brother in his black school uniform and took a few seconds to nod his response.

“I’m fine, you’re going to be late for school,” he said weakly but curtly, resting his back against the headboard.

His voice sounded weak and raspy, the room spinning as shut his eyes.

“But…,” began Raiya, eyes wide in apprehension and moist with concern. 

“I’m fine, now go will you!”

Yuto scowled and turned his face towards the window. The way his brother had flinched at his harsh tone made him guilty but he just didn't want to be seen this way. Not when he was his most vulnerable.

He sighed as his mother entered the room and gently pushed the younger boy out before closing the door behind her. Yuto ignored the sudden weight next to him and clenched his eyes shut.

He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now.

“You’ve been ignoring your medication again haven’t you?”

She frowned as she heard no reply.

“Yuto, you know how damaging these nightmares are to your health, don’t you?” she chided.

“I don’t care, I rather not sleep than take those pills and injections,” he grunted. He heard her sigh before she literally wrestled him into a headlock.

“Mama!” he whined as she planted a forceful kiss on the top of his head.

“You forgot who you are dealing with mister 'I'm emo leave me be'. I carried you for nine long months and 10 days...! Back then you were refusing to leave-,”

“Ew Mama stop! Not with that again PLEASE!”

Yuto pouted as she detached herself from him, laughing. He watched her silently as she bustled about his messy desk and pulled a plastic wrapped syringe from the medicine box. She then moved swiftly to the small refrigerator next to his door and withdrew a tiny glass bottle filled with clear liquid. He reached out his arm as she tied the tourniquet above his elbow and waited till the brief pain from the needle disappeared.

He sighed deeply, pulling off the tourniquet.

“Your body can’t handle this stress darling, and it’s about time you accepted it and took better care of yourself,” she said gently hoisting him onto his feet. The door opened slightly and Yuto smiled as he saw Raiya peeking in with big eyes, right underneath his father who seemed to be doing the same.

“We’re done, you can come in now,” Yuto’s mother said and shook her head as Raiya snuggled up into his brother’s open arms.

“I’m sorry,” Yuto said stroking the boy’s hair. Raiya shook his head.

“It’s okay, you do this like every morning ni-chan,” he replied with a playful smile. Feeling sheepish Yuto ruffled his hair.

“Now seriously, get going,” he said pushing the boy off. Raiya pouted.

“Iie ne... Ni-chan doesn’t have to go to school anymore,” Raiya whined shuffling out of the door. Yuto turned to his bedside table as
his phone's message bell rang.

“Do you need me to drop you to the library?” his father offered. Yuto shook his head.

“I have to meet up with the band later,” he informed them, reaching for his phone.

He smiled at the text displayed on the screen.


Be there at 4.00 or I’ll eat your drums

love Hikaru.

~*~


The city is alive with a vibrant beat. I plug in my earphones and slip my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, as they’re the first parts of my body to get affected by the surrounding chill. I watch the footsteps shuffling upon the concrete…soft thumps against a solid surface. I wonder if these pedestrians have even realized the harmony elicited by their actions….probably not.

Everything has a rhythm. The way the traffic lights change, the flow of people crossing the road…like subtle strokes on cymbals…
I wonder back to the studio I’m heading for. Well, it’s more of a tiny room with what we like to believe are soundproof walls.

But it’s all we could get to start it all.

I hope Hikaru-kun’s already paid his rent. It’s really a storage room in the basement of the building his apartment’s at. It’s a good thing his Landlord is fond of music and was kind enough to lend it to us for practice.

Ha!

I can feel people staring at me as I moonwalk towards the other side of the road. I end up on the pavement with a swift twirl and laugh. I can’t help it. The music blaring through my headphones is too good to resist. I can’t help but not stay still.

It’s all about the beat….the rhythm…it’s what my senses are trained for.

I hear footsteps and smile. I know that rhythm. I know it very well. My best friend’s found me, from among the thousands of bodies moving in the vicinity.

Maybe that’s why we’re friends.

I hear this strange metallic sound. I hear speed but it’s uncontrolled…painful to the ears. A clamor of distorted sounds breaking the rhythm.

It's getting closer… why are people screaming?

The boy felt his heartbeat quicken as he heard the screeching of wheels on the granite road and flinched as the headlights of an out-of-control vehicle made him temporarily blind.

“YUTO!”

~*~

Chapter 2: Assembling

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Yuto could feel the course granite under his cheek as he lay on his side, watching the speeding car come to a screeching halt almost 4 feet from him. He could feel his heart rate descending from a pounding to a soft thump-thump as he remained still, catching his breath. A shiver ran through his body, thoughts of what would have happened if he hadn't been pulled away in time replaying in his head in many gory forms.

“Yuto, please tell me you're still alive,”

Yuto groaned, trying to get rid of the horrifying self-conjured images. It was always easier after his injections. He allowed himself to be pulled into a sitting position before smiling up at his very concerned rescuer. He held up his hands and did the PPAP move.

Keito shook his head in frustration.

“What a great start to a week huh? Really puts a damper on the whole Monday blues thing," Yuto began cheerily as Keito helped him onto his feet.

"Don't make me regret saving you brat," replied the other boy, sounding more relieved than angry.

Yuto looped an arm around Keito’s more muscular one as he began half-dragging the older (by a few months) boy. Keito kept tugging at the edges of his hat, hoping it would swallow his entire head but to no avail. He didn’t like people staring at him…well they were actually more concentrated on the tall boy chattering non-stop next to him (who almost got run over by a car a few seconds ago) but still... 

He was so glad they were only 10 minutes from Hikaru's place.

~*~

“How was college?” Yuto asked interestedly as they entered through the door of an old building, stepping into its dim passageway.

“Cool,”

“How can it just be cool Keito? For a boy of such creative disposition, I would expect a wider range of vocabulary,”

Both boys jumped as they spotted the speaker standing by the door to the basement. The dim light threw golden highlights upon the loose curls
framing his delicate features but his eyes were sharp, serious.

“Inoo-chan?” Keito perked up, smiling. Yuto giggled. Keito, flustered, smacked him on the head.

“Now where in the world is that idiot, we’ll be standing out here the whole day unless he shows up with the practice room keys,” Inoo grumbled, folding his
arms.

“He seems to have lost them,”

Yuto jumped once again at the voice that had come from right behind him.

“Ryutaro-kun, would you please be kind enough not to pop out like that,” Yuto exclaimed, exaggeratedly clutching his chest.

The landlord’s son just stared at him blankly. Yuto bit his lip, feeling really small for some reason. 

“If it’s lost in that sty of his than we better call off today’s practice, I skipped a group study session for this you know,” Inoo said frustrated,
staring at his watch.

“I’ll go help him, you two stay here and chat,” Yuto suggested taking off immediately with Ryutaro right on his heels.

Keito looked awkwardly at Inoo who just shrugged.

~*~

“Hikaru-kun,” Yuto called out in a sing song voice, pushing the door of his apartment open. He gaped at the scene before him.

The small living room was littered with instant ramen cups, magazines, papers and laundry that should have been washed ages ago. The
tiny television set was turned on and a kettle was whistling on the stove.

He yelped as Ryutaro pushed him aside and maneuvered professionally across the ‘rugged’ terrain to the kitchen, turning the kettle off.

“Hikaru-chan where are you?” Yuto called out worriedly. His eyes trailed over a mountain of clothes in between the coffee table and the sofa
and they widened in surprise as he found a hand sticking out of it, a shiny silver key between the fingers.

“Hikaru!” he exclaimed lunging forward and with Ryutaro’s help pulled the older boy out of the mess.

Hikaru shook his head like someone coming out of a daze.

“I couldn’t breathe in there,” he croaked.

“Maybe you should think about cleaning the place once in a while,” Ryutaro chuckled wryly but let out a croaky scream as Hikaru lunged onto him.

“You’re such a pretty smart mouth aren’t you chibi?” Hikaru snarled pinning the struggling boy down. 

Yuto chuckled.

He turned his head as the main door creaked and his smile softened as he spotted the brunette peaking in nervously.

“Oh, newbie, what’s up?” Hikaru exclaimed raising a hand in greeting. The boy nodded silently, returning Yuto’s smile.

“Yuya-kun,” Yuto chirruped running over to the lanky brunette and throwing an arm around his shoulder.

“Yosh!" Hikaru began enthusiastically jumping to his feet, leaving a traumatized teenager on the floor.

"Now that we’re all here, let’s get started,” he added, grinning widely.

 

 ~*~

Notes:

As I mentioned I've done new edits to this fic (I just had to add the PPAP move after seeing the boys do it together lol) buuuuut
when I wrote this Inoo was still at Uni, seemed kinda distant and didn't have the now trademark mushroom hair but the slightly longer curly one. This chap was just a superficial introduction of the band.
Ryu isn't in the band. Also yes Keito has a slight crush XD

Chapter 3: A Space For Secrets

Chapter Text

 

Yuto sat on his knees, folding the cloth in his hand and running it over gently, lovingly, over the surface of the drums. He could feel the texture underneath his fingers as he checked for any leftovers of dirt and sighed as the cymbals reverberated slightly. He shut his eyes tight as he felt moisture accumulate in them. How could he love something so much?

He backed off slightly to admire his drum kit. It had been a recent birthday present from his parents.

His parents had always been against him doing something professional with his ‘hobby’. They had seemed even more concerned after he had graduated from high school and had shown indecisiveness about continuing his studies. He was a smart kid, an ambitious kid and he had done pretty well too so nearly everybody had expected him to go on to Uni. But when he had told his parents that he wanted to take some time to contemplate the best course of action for his future he was greeted with a silent understanding he couldn’t really comprehend even more so believe.

It hurt him though because he knew how much his parents wanted him to be like the college-going Keito or the Meiji University attending Inoo for that matter. But he appreciated their patience with him and vowed to accomplish both his dreams and theirs… somehow.

He was going to make them proud. It was one of the two goals he had to accomplish in his life.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and cast his vision around the room. Takaki Yuya was curled up on the armchair underneath the tiny window, eyes closed. His reddish-brown hair framed a peaceful face and Yuto smiled as he realized how much he had grown to be fond of the older boy’s presence. From his rocker shirts to baggy jeans, Takaki was the epitome of a rock star, hidden under the façade of a layback young man.

Takaki was their lead vocalist and by far the most mysterious person Yuto has ever known. Hikaru had just appeared one day with the man tagging lazily behind and announced to the rest of the band that he had found them a vocalist. Takaki had won their hearts though, with his lazy drawl and shy smile and everyone, with the exception of Inoo, cared nothing about anything that Takaki wasn’t willing to reveal about himself.

His eyes then wandered to their pianist who was busy going through his music notebook. It was a surprise that someone like Inoo would even want to be associated with their lot. Inoo was sophisticated and intelligent, an architect in training and the pride of his very well-off and well-known business family. He held a Pianist's diploma and also a very firm and surprising friendship with Hikaru, who was well the complete opposite.

Yuto laughed as he recalled how he had met the leader of their band, earning confused stares from everybody else in the room. They turned to tend to their own matters soon though as they were used to Yuto’s strange behavior of talking and laughing by himself.

Back when he was a freshman in middle school, a couple of bullies had snatched a certain object from him, threatening to throw it into a river. The object was a very important thing to Yuto and he smiled bitterly as he withdrew it from his pocket. It was a ruffled, faded school badge. Keito had frequently questioned him about it but Yuto couldn't even tell him the mystery behind the badge.

He could still remember that day. Hikaru had always looked like a delinquent for as far as Yuto could remember. He had walked over to them, multiple rings on his fingers, nails painted black and a huge chain around his neck. He had grabbed the bully holding the badge by the collar and had asked for the return of the badge at which the smaller boy had obliged, before taking off with the speed of a professional sprinter.

Hikaru had then given him a toothy grin and a thumbs up before giving him his precious badge back.

“Better learn to take good care of your things you know, shouldn’t let others take em away from you that easy,” he had said.

Yuto had burst into tears and only calmed down after Hikaru had treated him to his favourite ice-cream.

Taking his place behind his drums, the lanky boy twirled a stick in his hand playfully as he watched Hikaru double check the score in his hands.

Hikaru had always sat on a certain park bench, writing and composing songs on his guitar and Yuto had begun to spend his evenings with him right after school.

“I want to start a band, and we will become famous,” he had said excitedly.

“I am a percussionist in the school band, maybe I can help?” Yuto had offered innocently. Hikaru had just given him a friendly smile but when Yuto had managed to compose the accompanying beat for Hikaru’s song by tapping his foot and clicking his fingers, Hikaru had looked at him as if he were a gift from God.

Yuto stretched. He had liked that. He had liked the way Hikaru had given him the awareness of his own talent. He had like the way he was appreciated for something he loved to do.

Yuto had discovered over the years that the reason Hikaru owned an apartment of his own now, was because he came from a very broken home. But still, the way the older boy goofed around and flashed that unique grin of his, it was really hard to tell.

“Yuto, is it okay if we end the rehearsal a bit early today?”

Yuto looked up at Keito’s anxious face with mild surprise but smiled as understanding dawned upon him.

“So,” he began in a low voice.

“Your brother will be home today eh?”

Keito looked a little embarrassed, but he nodded reverently.

“I’ll talk to Hikaru-kun, don’t worry,” Yuto replied cheerfully.

He sighed deeply as he watched the older boy return to his task of tuning and testing his guitar.

Okamoto Keito, their lead guitarist had an even stranger story.

Yuto had met Keito in a Preparation Class during his second year of middle school and the two had become fast friends ever since. Keito's parents were divorced. His father, Okamoto Kenichi was a producer and manager of many well-known young artists. He used to be in a band himself, which is one of the reasons Hikaru had so willingly agreed to have Keito in their group

They were best friends yet there was still so much they couldn’t tell each other. The biggest example was Keito’s mysterious younger brother. Now there was a story in itself.

They weren’t brothers by blood but Keito had never openly acknowledged the existence of a step brother. Yuto could understand very well, being an older brother himself, but unlike him Keito wasn’t allowed to interact with his brother for some reason. Yuto didn’t want to push Keito, no matter how curious he was of this strange setup, mainly because he wanted Keito to let it all out at his own pace. Just like Keito had never pushed him about the Badge. Maybe that’s why they appreciated their friendship so much.

There was enough space to fill.

 

~*~

Chapter 4: Blogger-san's Final Request

Chapter Text

 

“Yosh! Great work everyone!”

Yuto smiled fondly at the enthusiastic Hikaru. Takaki was staring at the floor, hand still on the microphone, lips twitching from holding back a laugh.

Keito looked really troubled. Ryutaro was curled up in a corner, miraculously asleep.

Inoo shamelessly yawned, rolling his eyes as Hikaru’s face fell.

“Ehhhhh! Kei-chan I was expecting more enthusiasm here!” Hikaru complained, folding his arms.

“Well, it’s a good song," Inoo began pulling a sheet over his keyboard.

"I mean we sound good and it has a fun pace but Hikaru-kun really, 'Love Love Tofu' is a pretty weak debut track,”

There was an awkward silence.

“Oii! I worked hard on that song!” Hikaru bellowed. 

“Hey… so are we done for the day?” Keito asked timidly.

“Yeah, I’ve got piles of work to do, see you guys later,” Inoo said shouldering his backpack. Yuto pouted as he watched Hikaru fall into a disappointed heap onto the floor.

Inoo gave the mass on the floor a quick pat as he headed towards the door. Suddenly stopping with a hand on the handle, he turned around and gave a brief bow.

“Otsukaresama!”

Yuto and Takaki replied similarly, smiling. 

Keito, with his guitar case on his back, joined Inoo who managed a quick but affectionate glance at the ball that was Hikaru.

“Otsukaresama Hikaru-chan!” Inoo sang as Keito opened the door for both of them and they departed.

“Whatever,” Hikaru grumbled rolling to lie flat on his chest and facing away from the door.

Yuto pulled the massive cover for his drums over the kit.

“What about Ryutaro-kun?” Takaki asked, hands in his pocket. 

“Oh, I’ll take him to his room later, don’t worry about it,” Hikaru replied looking up at him with a grin. Takaki nodded quietly before leaving.

“He actually slept in all that noise,” Yuto commented putting on his jacket. Hikaru hummed in silence. It had become a daily routine anyway;
Ryutaro coming to watch their practices and then falling asleep midway.

“I wonder what the boy does that gets him so exhausted,” he wondered aloud, getting another hum in reply.

“See you tomorrow Hikaru-kun,”

Hikaru looked up at him and gave him a soft smile.

“Take care kay? Text me when you get home,”

“Haaaai,” Yuto replied, putting on his hat.

 

 

~*~


Yuto readjusted his headphones, fingers running over the screen of his phone as he scrolled through the comments section of his latest blog post.

There were still 7 minutes till the next train; enough for a new post.

Leaning against a pillar, he began to type.

 

Minna-san konbanuu!

drummerboy here! It was a lovely day in Tokyo,

busy as always...

We finally completed a full run of our first single!

Can’t tell you about it yet but in due time

we’ll let you hear a demo so you can judge it for yourself. ^.^

Oh ya… and I almost got hit by a car today.

and I'm still alive!!!

:p

 

He looked up as his train arrived and together with the flow of people drifted into the vehicle. He luckily found an empty seat right next to the door.  He wondered if Ichigo-sama, his top commenter would, as usual, be the first to respond to his post.

As the train started moving, he started tapping his foot along with the music blasting through his headphones, looking at the tired faces all around him. The person right next to him was a teenage boy in a gray jersey and jeans. He had on a huge black cap that shaded most of his face from view and large red earphones. His arms were wrapped around the plastic bags in his lap and he seemed to be very busy texting.

Yuto was only slightly conscious of the stares as he leisurely began air drumming to the songs in his Ipod. Taking out his phone he quickly reconnected to his site; feeling a little satisfied as he saw that the first comment was from the very regular visitor of his blog, someone Yuto had become really fond of over the eight months of his blogging experience.

1 NEW COMMENT


Ichigo-sama –

0_0

A car? Are you serious dude? That’s crazy! U ok?

 

Smiling, he got into replying immediately.

 


drummerboy –

Yah I’m gd.

I was rescued in the nick of time!! ^.^

 

He stretched and stifled a yawn. The person next to him was hunched over his grocery, the phone really close to his face as if wary of any prying eyes. Shaking his head, he continued air drumming. There was a sudden lurch and his neighbour's phone slipped out of his hand. As if by reflex Yuto caught it and returned it to the stunned owner.

The other looked up at him immediately, hitting Yuto’s chin with the edge of his cap and causing his head to bang against the metal pole next to him.

“Gomenasai!” the boy exclaimed, jumping to his feet as the train came to a stop.

Yuto was still seeing stars as the public began exiting the train.

Shaking himself out of the painful stupor, he joined the exiting flow. It took him a few minutes to finally be on the road to home. The evening felt great, with a playlist of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers running on loop and him imagining himself as Chad Smith, and no one around to judge his epic air drumming. While putting his key into the main door he decided to check his phone again.

 

1 NEW COMMENT


Ichigo-sama-


Oh my God I almost lost my phone on the train...

and then accidentally hit the guy that saved it for me

What a great start to a week!  (-_-);

I’ve got to go now, talk to u later!

 

Yuto's hand froze on the doorknob.

 

 


~*~


“Yuto, how was your day?”

Yuto placed his chopsticks down, a contented smile on his face.

“It was great dad we finished an entire song, I’ll sing it for you guys later,” he replied cheerily. His father smiled back but Yuto could see
the strange hesitancy on his face.

“Medicine time,” his mother said suddenly breaking the poignant silence. She held out her hands and Yuto stared at the colourful pills with a sigh. He took them in his hands and picked up his glass of water.

“I need to do some research before sleeping, I’ll eat the pills in my room,” he announced heading towards the staircase.

“Research?” young Raiya chirruped, interested.

“Is it homework Ni-san?”

Yuto looked at his little brother and chuckled.

“You could say that, good night!”

 

 

 

~*~


Yuto sat on his desk, pulled open the lowest drawer and dumped the pills in it. The new tablets joined a few more of their unconsumed comrades in it. Draining the glass of water he turned on his computer.

His gaze lingered on the list of universities on the screen, fingers tapping a rhythmic beat of impatience on the mousepad.

“What should I do? What’s the use of all of this!” he groaned ruffling his hair in frustration. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the badge.

Where are you?

Scowling, he logged into his blog site again and started on writing a new entry.

Minna-san,

drummerboy here!

I think I want to talk about something else today, something other than my band or my drums or our singles. I think today, I’m going to tell you all a story.

It’s a story about a boy I knew a long time ago. A story about a mistake we made together and our consequent separation. I’ve been told again and again that the person I’m looking for no longer exists. But I can’t believe it and I never will. If you all can lend me a bit of your support then please help me look for him too.

I hope this story will be able to convince you all to help me, in whatever way you can. Spread the word maybe... so it could reach him or someone who knows him. 

Because…I don’t think I will have enough time to look for him myself.

I need to, I need to apologize, I need to remember what really happened that day... and if he blames me for what happened to him.

See, the thing is… I'm dying.

Chapter 5: Dearly Beloved

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Keito sighed as he slid the key into the lock and heard a familiar click. He had never said it out loud, but coming back to an empty house after the cheer and ruckus of their rehearsals had always made him feel rather depressed.

He pushed open the door and stumbled into the lounge, throwing the keys onto the coffee table before plopping down onto the couch. He lay with his eyes closed, the ticking of the wall clock being the only sound audible besides his own breathing. Feeling exhausted but unable to actually fall asleep, he clicked his tongue in annoyance and snapped his eyes open. Maybe he should make some instant noodles. He shouldn't have skipped breakfast.

He eyed the DVD box upon the table by his side and picked it up, lazily staring at the names of the cast. His lips tugged into a slight smile though as he read the name Tanaka Keisuke upon it, searching for the face amongst the people on the cover, grinning as he spotted him.

He was a good looking teenager, rising quickly in popularity and was his father’s (a talent agent) most confidential and to-date most personal project.

He looked at his watch. His father must be getting on his flight now to England to take care of some company matters. He tried to swallow his disappointment. It had been days seen they last had a meal together. His father hardly spent any time with him anymore, always too busy and even more so ever since Keisuke became a member of the same industry. It wasn’t like he blamed Keisuke, his father had always been a sort of a workaholic but he's never seen his dad take any other talent as seriously as he was taking Keisuke. He couldn't ignore the slight tinge of jealousy at how obsessed his father seemed with his second son, so involved in his career. They were the Manager-Talent duo that were also father and son.

He was fine with it, he liked Keisuke too much to let it be too much of a bother and then 4 years ago, his father just called him from a cafe in Italy and told him he was banned from interacting with Keisuke. Like he literally said 'do not talk to him even when he is at home, ignore each other completely and do not disobey me no matter what'.


After a little coaxing, his dad had explained that he wanted both his sons to live in two different worlds and the only way Keito would not be influenced was that if he’d stay away from Keisuke. Keito hadn’t questioned him further. It didn't make sense to him, like he had his own aims and aspirations and Keisuke's glamorous life was not going to make him feel whatever his dad thought he would feel. But he respected his father too much.

Problem was, Keisuke was a rebel. On the other hand, exceptional at hiding things and keeping secrets.

He got up with a start as he heard the soft beeping of a phone from one of the rooms in their two floored apartment.

He’s home!

Getting to his feet, he sighed with relief his eyes fell upon the home-cooked food on the table in plastic wrap. Reaching for it, he saw a post it and the message on it made him smile gratefully. 

I might be asleep when you return… I made the food so eat it!

That was one more reason Keito couldn’t ignore the presence of his brother. They had an awfully good relationship.

Crumpling up the paper and stuffing it into his jeans pocket (more out of habit than anything), he quickly climbed the stairs. 

As he stood upon the threshold of the young star’s room, he shook his head at the hand-made sign hung upon the door.

Do not enter! This is my domain and I am its Master!

He chuckled to himself. Keisuke was such a brat.

Opening the door slightly he cautiously peeked inside, afraid to make any noise that would wake the boy up. He guessed the boy must be exhausted. He had just finished shooting a 10 episode long drama plus a commercial after all.

He spotted Keisuke sprawled upon his bed, still fully clothed with his back to the ceiling. A black cap and a large pair of red headphones lay on the floor not far from him.

Shaking his head he entered the room, closing the door gently behind him. He kneeled next to the bed, trying to take a gauge the current state of his brother.

The room was getting duller, illuminated in the soft golden radiance from the dying sun. The pale lighting seemed to accentuate Keisuke’s boyish features, from his baby smooth skin to his slightly pouted cherry lips. Keito reached out and brushed his bangs, from the scent, recently dyed a honey brown, and frowned at the heavy dark circles underneath his eyes.

“Father sure is hard on you isn’t he?” he whispered softly getting back to his feet. 

Keito wondered if his father ever saw him like this, at home, exhausted and worn out without make-up to cover the signs of it all. 

Knowing how deep a sleeper he really was, Keito managed to get the boy out of his jacket and under the covers. He looked down at the peaceful face of Tanaka Keisuke….known to Japan as a talented teen idol-actor, but to him as Okamoto Keisuke….his beloved sorta-younger brother.

Keito placed a panic induced palm upon his stomach as it growled angrily, making more noise to counter all the caution he had used all this while. He jumped as he heard Keisuke's voice, even in the thick of sleep sounding very amused.

“Go eat idiot," 

Chuckling, Keito nodded.

“Yes sir!”

 

~*~


It was the sound of the blender that woke Keito from his slumber. The wall clock showed 9.30 am. He had fallen asleep while watching the television, remote still in his hand.

“Keisuke?”

The latter looked at him in mild surprise and grinned.

“I’m making breakfast!”

“Oh,”

Keito sat in silence as he watched Keisuke bustle in the kitchen in his red apron. The boy had a wide smile on his face yet his eyes seemed completely focused on his task. It didn’t take long before the smell of scrambled eggs and porridge and fresh coffee began to waft in the closed space of their apartment.

“Come,” Keisuke chirruped holding a jug of juice and beckoning him towards the table.

“Itadakimass,” Keito said gratified. He took his seat and began to eat in complete silence, relishing the taste of his hot meal. He stole a quick glance at the other boy happily munching on a piece of toast.

 

"You're home for today?"

"Yup!"

"It's been a while,"

"Ahan,"

"Does dad know?"

"I told him I'm going to be hanging out with work friends and spending the night with one of them, they are well briefed on the situation... you know, the usual,"

"I sometimes feel like he knows,"

"Probably, maybe not... let's not worry until something actually happens... you know like we get disowned or something,"

"Yeah... sure,"

A few minutes went by in which the porridge was licked clean and coffee was poured and started on. Keisuke seemed absorbed in his phone while Keito stared at the table.

“I went grocery shopping yesterday,” Keisuke said breaking the silence as they made their way through the beverage. Keito looked up at him surprised. Keisuke shook his head, still smiling.

“I was disguised pretty well, don’t worry about that,”

“No, I mean Keisuke, you could’ve just left me a post it of the things we needed, you're schedule is already so crazy,” Keito argued as he watched Keisuke drain his cup.

“I was on my way back from the studio and the market was on the way, it was no problem…and don’t act like you're not busy,”

“I’m fine,” Keito mumbled looking away. 

“No way Keito, college, studies and that band… oh yah, how is that coming along?”

Keito beamed. 

 
“Great! We actually completed an entire song!”

“I want to hear it and I want to meet everyone from your band... I haven't even asked how many members there are in it!” Keisuke said cheerily. Keito laughed.

"Yeah we are still working on the members, had someone join recently and all,"

"Any girls in that band of yours?"

"What?"

"Come on! Girl drummers are hot!"

“Alright, alright calm down. You know what, maybe I’ll take you to the studio some time, but keep it a secret from dad okay?”

Keisuke nodded, holding up a piece sign.

The silence resumed.

Keito poked the remnants of his egg with his chopsticks, fighting a battle within his mind. It was the weekend, and he had no apparent plans. He looked up at Keisuke and jumped as he found him watching him, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“I’d love that,” he said and laughed as Keito’s jaw dropped.

“How did you know?” the older boy gasped in disbelief.

“We’re brothers right?”

Keito smiled as Keisuke continued laughing.

“So, what do you want to do?” he asked. Keisuke placed his chopsticks upon his lips and stared up at the ceiling, thinking hard. Keito stared in disbelief.

“Wait, Keisuke, don’t you dare move, I’ll be right back!”

Keisuke’s eyes followed his brother as he dashed up the stairs and into his room, frozen in his current position. His eyes widened as he watched Keito jump steps and lunge onto his chair before holding up his professional camera in front of him.

He blinked back tears at the flash.

“Sorry, the lighting was perfect and you looked so ethereal and I'm studying portraits right now this would make great reference," Keito ranted unabashedly, still out of breath from his dash. Keisuke rolled his eyes.

“You take more of my pictures in there, we are surely getting caught,” he chided but then grinned.

“Let’s go shopping!” he exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air. Keito stared.

“Oh what a manly thing to do!” he retorted sarcastically.

"I know, that's why you love it," Keisuke snapped, smirking at the brand new leather jacket Keito had slept in.

“Okay, fine whatever,” he grumbled. There goes his secret store. 

Keisuke stuck his tongue out at him.

“Alright alright, then let me take a quick shower first,” Keito decided standing up.

“Come to my room when you’re done, I need to come up with a disguise... might go in drag,” Keisuke said very seriously, smirking as he watched Keito head to his room shaking his head. Keisuke began clearing the table all the while humming a tune to try and dispel the urge gnawing at the back of his head. He was done with the dishes pretty soon but Keito wasn’t done with his shower. 

Sighing, he finally decided to give in.

He rushed up to his room and turned on his computer. He tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for it to start and threw himself into his chair as soon as it did.

Wasting no time he typed as quickly as he could, frowning as he kept entering the wrong keys in haste. He hated computers. Loved his phone, like with a passion.

He finally managed to log into a certain blog where he only had a reader account and felt excited to see a new entry by his favourite blogger. This guy was a drummer in an indie band yet to debut and unlike Keito's very non-serious group playing music in someone's basement, it seemed like this group was about to hit big. His eyes widened though as he clicked on the entry and read a very strange line.

See, the truth is…I might die very soon.

“What?”

He leaned back in his chair. Sure, he didn’t really know this drummerboy in real life, and he could very well be bluffing about dying as well, but for some reason, that line made him panic a little. 

He had guessed the blogger was rather reserved, but very much compassionate about his music. He had never talked about anything but that and now…all of a sudden, this new story?

It’s not like he would actually get personally involved with this person, that was dangerous… but maybe, a word of comfort or two, just to show drummerboy that he had people believing in him.

He rested his arms on the table and continued to read.

I was 7 years old when I first met him, that tiny transfer student. He was so adorable, looking like a lost puppy in the middle of the rest of us. He seemed very nervous as he stood next to our class teacher, head down to avoid the scrutinizing stares of the other students.

The teacher urged him upon an introduction and he did, stuttering and then flushing with embarrassment. The seat next to me was empty, and I was asked to guide him and I agreed wholeheartedly, excited to be able to make a new friend.

He was so shy that it caught me off guard, maybe because I was a little too hyper for my own good. It took me almost a week to get him to open up to me and that was only because I asked him to walk home with me. It was a great surprise that we lived quite close to each other.

We started doing homework together and staying over at each other’s homes on the weekends. We even managed to convince our families to go on a picnic together.

It was too much fun and the two of us hardly ever fought. We acted like complete idiots when we were together. Nothing else mattered; it was just us against the world.

Keisuke couldn’t help but chuckle. It gave him a lovely feeling inside and he couldn’t help but badly want a friendship like that for himself.


There was this boy in my class who didn’t exactly like me. I’ve always been the one telling people off, and I guess many people didn’t like me for that…but I was the class head, so I had no other choice. Well, he came up to me once and asked me to follow him. Apparently, one student had injured himself and was now at the roof. I dutifully marched on, letting him lead me only to be cornered by his fury on the desolated rooftop.

“I hate you! I wish you would just die!”

I never had anyone say anything like that to me before and had started crying on the spot. He stood there, laughing at my weakness. I never thought that my best friend would have showed up at the scene. He had pushed the boy with so much strength it caught both of us off guard and then he gave a glare that had seriously terrified the bully before taking me by the hand and leading me back to the class.

When I had thanked him later that day, on our way back from school, he had cheerily replied;

“We have to look out for each other, that’s what friends are for after all.”

He had become one of my most prized possessions. But I never thought that I could lose him… ever.

But I did.

On one fateful day, under the bridge, by the riverbank where we always played after school, something happened. I was supposed to meet him there but I got caught up in a game with some other friends that lasted longer than I thought.

When I finally reached the riverbank, I saw to my horror a strange man carrying the limp figure of my beloved best friend. He had quick steps for a man of his size but I got onto following him immediately. I was furious, resolved to rescue my friend by myself. It was stupid of me, now that I think of it.

He took him to an abandoned shed further down the river. Before I could sneak in, I had been captured as well. It seemed like the man had an accomplice.

I was thrown roughly against a crate next to where my friend lay in a dazed sleep. I heard them talk about ransom. I tried to squirm out of the binds they had restrained me with but was only met by harsh slaps. I remember crying as they shouted at me and beat me up. I was the extra after all.

I hadn’t realized that my friend had awakened but he took his chance and rammed himself into one of the kidnappers before yelling at me to escape. I took his hand and we started running along the gushing waters as fast as our feet could carry us. I could hear the infuriated shrieks in the back and had smirked in triumph at our daring escape but the victory lasted merely seconds. An explosive sound rang through the air and the shock made me lose my footing. I fell onto the ground, my head hitting something hard. But before I blacked out, I saw something that made me feel as if I had died before even hitting the ground.

My friend had fallen into the water…his body covered in crimson. He had been shot.

I woke up in a hospital a few days later. They told me I was sick. When I had asked about my friend, they said nothing. My body had become really weak for some reason, and I had remained hospitalized for a few months… and when I was discharged… we moved.

I did my best to find him. I asked people, I searched for his family but by then they had left Japan. When I grew older, I discovered to my horror that by police records, my friend was dead. He had been shot and his body then swept away by the waters of the river. It ended into the sea, and search parties could not locate him.

The only remnant I have of him is the badge of the private school he had transferred into my school from. It has his name threaded onto it.

I know this is asking for too much, but my condition has been deteriorating recently. Taking pills isn’t going to work, I know that for sure. I’m tired of this ‘false hope’. But before anything happens, I need to find him… I know he is still alive… call me mad for believing such but I just know he is…so please…help me.

Help me find him…so I can properly apologize for not being able to protect him…to save him.

It’s my last wish, my ultimate request…

Until the day I stop breathing…I’m going to look for him…that is my final goal.

drummerboy…signing out.

 

 

~*~

Notes:

Yes I gave Keito a brother, I actually enjoyed writing the two very much. Also Keito is studying photography in this AU... this was written the time we were getting a lot of the OK photo corners in magazines so that's where I got the idea. This wasn't really specified in the original run of this fic.
Other members of Jump are in this fic but they'll be coming later when I delve further into the backgrounds of every member of the band!

Thanx for reading!

Chapter 6: My Star

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

“Keisuke, what’s wrong? You look really troubled,”

Keito pulled back from where he was about to grab some micorwaveable popcorn, distracted by the way his brother was very obviously spacing out for the nth time. He frowned as he got a simple hum as a response for his concern. It seemed like Keisuke was contemplating hard behind his mask and red-rimmed glasses before finally turning to him with a resolute huff.

“Keito, what will you do if dad finds out we have been disobeying him?”

Keito blinked back, wondering why the stubborn, carefree Keisuke was suddenly the concerned one of the two.

“You’re not planning on telling him are you?” Keito asked after a few moments of bewilderment. Keisuke pulled his beanie lower and diverted his gaze to the shelf behind his brother.

“Do you want some Cream Puffs?” he asked nonchalantly reaching for the confectionaries over the taller boy’s shoulder.

Keito frowned.

“What happened, is there a problem? Do you not like us hanging out like this?” Keito went on, alarmed.

Keisuke stared at him, hesitant.

“No it's nothing,” he said resignedly, as if abandoning an itch for another time. Keito felt irritation bubble inside of him. 

“Look Keisuke, it’s fine, you don’t have to keep feeling sorry for me,”

Keisuke felt a little uncomfortable as his usual sweet brother turned towards the cream puffs, looking very pained.

“Why would I need to feel sorry for you?” he asked with caution. It felt like both did have something on their minds... Keisuke just wasn't sure if the issues were the same.

Keito sighed again, knowing that he was about to break and it gave him a bad feeling.

He felt his stomach churn as he realized that they had finally arrived there…the crossroads. He’d have to face this. He needed to get it off his chest and risk the reaction.

Inner peace or ignorant bliss with his brother.

“I’m not as important to dad as you are, but I’m fine with it and I get you seemed to be trying to make up for it by spending time with me… I… just forget it,”

He hated this regret. This was sounding like a bad idea typed and published.

Keito shook his head and started for the counter, but froze in his steps as he heard the basket Keisuke was holding fall hard onto the floor right next to him, the contents clattering all over.

He wheeled around, eyes wide and heart thumping. Keisuke's eyes were bloodshot and hands clenched so tight Keito was afraid the boy was going to hit him.

And then there it was, a lone tear sliding down his cheek and staining the mask.

“Keisuke?”

The boy shoved past him, roughly, urgently and before Keito could even open his mouth again he was out of the convenience store and onto the street. It took him a moment too late to gather himself, apologize to the alarmed customers and staff and bolt out behind his brother.

Keisuke was leaving a trail of irritated pedestrians as he weaved through the crowd, shoulder to shoulders and no apology spoken. 

 
“Keisuke…WAIT!”

~*~

“Irrashaimass!”

Hikaru bowed to the couple that had just entered the restaurant, flashing them a friendly smile. He then skipped over to the counter and picked up two menu cards before striding back to their table.

“Welcome to Hiroshi’s Ramen Shop!”

The duo nodded to his greeting, taking the offered menu cards. Leaving them to decide upon their meal, Hikaru backed into a stool by the counter, eyeing the mildly crowded restaurant with a contented sigh. Maria-san, the owner’s wife gave him a nod of approval before resuming her attention to her customer.

“Hey Hikaru-kun,”

He grunted in response to the bespectacled girl on the cashier.

“Check out the cutie on table 5!” she whispered gleefully.

“Why should I?”

The girl gave him an irritated stare. His fellow waiter, Honjo was asleep with his head on the countertop.

“Because-,” she began but Hikaru ignored her and instead flicked Honjo’s forehead real hard. The boy jumped awake, losing his balance and fell magnificently off the stool. He then got up quickly and brushed his apron before striding into the kitchen with a dignified air, ignoring the chuckling waiter.

“So you’d know the type of guys I prefer,” the girl pressed on, waving a hand in front of him to get his attention. Hikaru waved her off but threw a bored glance at the lone person seated on the said table.

He snorted.

“You like the creepy, introverted, studious type?” he deduced taking in the skinny man sitting with his shoulders hunched and head bowed low, eating his ramen in silence. His rather small eyes were framed behind thick black spectacles, scanning a notebook.

“Really Mukoda-san, you have awful taste,” he joked only to get smacked on the head.

“It’s been an entire week since he started coming here for lunch, I think he’s a student from the Uni nearby,” she giggled the entire sentence, watching the young man with great interest.

“Well, as long as he orders a lot and comes regularly,” Hikaru yawned, stretching.

“Shut up, he’s really handsome okay?” she snapped, throwing a soft punch to his shoulder. Giving her the most disgusting scowl he could come up with he tried to discreetly make out more of the man than the mass of his shiny brown hair and lanky figure. So he was a little interested in what the ladies of the current era found attractive, nothing wrong with that! 

“I can't make out his face behind those huge specs okay?”

“He seems to really like our ramen, and always has that notebook with him... I wonder what’s in it?”

Hikaru shook his head. That was reaching dangerous, starker-ish obsession now Mukoda.

“Why don't you just go say hi instead of creepily staring at him from behind the counter, you know that doesn't make you ideal wife material,"

“Oh what would you know about that... ne, ne, Hikaru-kun, please go ask his name,”

“Hah! In your dreams,”

Mukoda looked at him like a wounded kitten.

“I said I won’t and I mean it!”

She looked away dramatically, heartbroken and dejected. Hikaru rolled his eyes.

“I can’t just walk up to a customer and start asking questions, he’ll probably look at me like I’m some weirdo and walk away,” he argued, walking past her and into the kitchen.

“Fine! I’ll go ask him myself!” Mukoda huffed.

“Try not to pass out!” he snapped back.

The main cook and owner, Hiroshi-san looked up from the steaming noodles and shook his head at the two youngsters standing with their backs to each other. 

“Kids,” he mumbled. His wife, Maria held up a heart made up of her two palms put together.

Hikaru shuffled over onto a bench near the staff lockers and picked up his guitar. He watched Hiroshi-san placing meals onto the counter and ringing the bell and yelling at Honjo for slacking while Mukoda attended a customer by the cashier. 

“So much noise yet it's more peaceful than home,” he sighed, leaning against the wall. His fingers worked on the strings of his instruments almost naturally as he started playing random notes.

His lips tugged into a slight smile at the memory of a voice… clear and strong followed by thunderous applause.

He continued playing a piece foreign to his own ears, the random notes sounding like a pretty melody as he reminisced that concert from his junior high days, and the shining star upon the stage…it’s what had started it all of course.

‘It would be nice if I could hear him sing again’.

He looked up as he heard clapping and widened his eyes as he saw the rest of the staff staring at him, very much impressed.

“That was beautiful, now I know you can actually play that thing,” Hiroshi-san boomed grinning widely.

Hikaru stared at his guitar. He laughed, realizing that he had just composed a song without noticing. The response was pretty awesome. He should probably write it down before it fades from his memory.

Mukoda rushed to him excitedly, startling him as she got to her knees by his side.

“I love you!”

"Eh?" he exclaimed, mouth agape. The rest hooted. Mukoda rolled her eyes.

“Don’t you guys get the wrong idea!” she snapped before turning frantically back to Hikaru.

“That cute guy! He came up to me to pay his bill and he heard you playing, he just stood there watching you and then he asked me whether you were a full-time worker and I said yes you are here every day and then it looked like he was going to ask me your name but he then glanced at his watch and then just bolted out the door!”

“Calm down!” he shrieked as she continued pulling at his arm in her excitement. He squirmed out of her grasp.

“Why the hell are you this breathless over that?” he said with a loud click of his tongue.

“HE TALKED TO ME HIKARU!” she said excitedly before bursting into a fit of giggles. Hikaru gaped at her as if she were mad, which he then concluded she probably was.

“Yo, the dude left his notebook,” Honjo said appearing at the counter with the said object in his hand. Mukoda lunged at him like a fox and snatched it from his grasp.

“She’s freaking dangerous!” Honjo exclaimed wide-eyed, scurrying to hide behind Maria-san.

Mukoda stared at the book, eyes glittering with all her... girly feelings.

“Maybe it has his name written in it!” she squealed excitedly. Hikaru shook his head and got to his feet, searching his pocket for his locker key.

Crazy woman.

“Wow… it's a nice name... kind of suits him,” she said, her face all red and... weird.

“What is it?” Maria-san chimed in, leaning next to the young waitress. Both women ignored Hiroshi-san’s rant about how unethical it was going to be through somebody’s personal stuff just for the sake of curiosity. Hikaru raised his guitar but as he heard the name felt the instrument slip through his fingers and bang loudly against the locker as he tried to catch it.

They all stared at him.

“Hikaru-kun?” Mukoda called out bemused.

“What did you say the name was again?” he asked, his voice low, hands cold. This was too freaky to be a coincidence.

Mukoda frowned but repeated the name anyway.

“It’s written here that this notebook is the property of Yabu Kota.”

Notes:

Keisuke's personality has actually been a little altered in my editing lol. It just happened.

I've always been YabuHika trash okay... and all my girl OCs in my old fics had girly crushes on Yabu lol... maybe I was trying to tell myself something XD

Chapter 7: Nostalgia

Chapter Text

 

“Did I say something?”

Honjo shrugged as he and Mukoda eyed the forlorn figure from their usual spots by the counter. 

Hikaru was slouched in a chair by the window, the very same table Yabu had previously occupied, staring at the notebook in his hands.

Yabu Kota.

He kept repeating the name in his head, still finding it hard to believe that they had almost met after all these years.

“And we couldn't recognise each other,” he chuckled softly.

“Hikaru-kun?”

He looked up to smile reassuringly at the owner's wife, realising he might have created a bit of a scene.

“Maria-san, he’s my childhood friend,”

The lady nodded encouragingly, taking a seat across the table.

“Oh that’s great!”

“I guess, but I’m not so sure he would remember me by now, we haven’t been in touch since middle school,”

“I’m sure he remembers you, he did seem curious when he saw you playing,” Maria-san responded cheerily.

Hikaru shook his head.

“I think I was fonder of him than he was of me though,” Hikaru mused.

Maria-san frowned. Hikaru looked back at her, the smile never leaving his face.

“He was a prodigy... the celebrity in our school, he had the most amazing voice I’ve ever heard, strong, clear, melodious,”

“Really?”

Hikaru nodded.

“He got scouted by an agency by age 11. He used to sing in concerts and hang around with famous people,”

Maria tilted her head, confused as he let out a soft chuckle. How can someone seem so at peace and happy but at the same time so sad?

“His schedule got busier as we got into middle school and we started to see less of each other and by the end of our last year in middle school,
he transferred to a private school,”

“Transferred?”

“Yeah, he was becoming increasingly famous and his fans were causing 'disruptions',”

“I see,”

“He seemed so happy, so excited when he said goodbye that day, he loved the stage and he was finally on his way to achieving his
dreams,”

“It must have been upsetting for you,” Maria voiced her sympathy. Hikaru shrugged rather nonchalantly.

“Well, I had always wanted him to myself, but he was always surrounded by people far more amazing then me, I’m surprised he even hung
out with me, but I was not a reason for him to let go of his dreams,”

“Sounds like you were his best friend though,” she argued.

Hikaru shook his head, chuckling at her emotional outburst.

“I was just one of his good friends but you know, I fell in love with music because of him,”

“I guess he pretty much inspired you,” Maria said. He grinned, eyes lightening up.

“The funny thing was that once he got caught writing a song during Math class,” he began, a note of nostalgia in his chuckle.

“He was so upset; he threw a tantrum on our way back home from school. He told me it had been a duet for the two of us,”

“What happened to that song?” Maria asked curiously.

“Dunno, he was so upset of being scolded over it that he had thrown it in the trash before it was even done,”

“Pity,”

“Not really, I had fished it out during my cleaning duty after school. It was my parting gift to him,”

“What had he said?”

“He didn’t say anything, he just nodded and waved before leaving. I guess it must have been really stupid of me, I had been so happy
that he had decided to sing a song with the insignificant me that I went a little overboard,”

Maria smiled softly.

“Possessive weren’t you?” she teased. Hikaru laughed.

“I guess you can say that,” he replied enthusiastically.

“Do you still remember what that song was called?” Maria asked getting to her feet. Hikaru tilted his head, gazing at the notebook in full
thought but getting no recollection he shook his head.

The bells atop the main doors chimed in welcome of a new customer. Realising the time, Hikaru got to his feet abruptly, the notebook falling open onto the
floor. He picked it up immediately, afraid to get dust on it. He froze, realising that he was looking at a very familiar piece of paper stapled on a the open page of the book.

He gaped, recognising the hand writing. It was the exact same paper, the one that he had rescued from the trash and given to Yabu. It had the half written song on it. He snapped the book shut.

“He kept it?” he muttered, voicing his disbelief. He gave the book to a very surprised Mukoda.

“He might come for it later, I’m going home,” he said casually.

“Why don’t you give it to him yourself?” Mukoda asked bewildered. Hikaru shrugged, arranging quick steps to the door.

“Not that it makes a difference, Ja!”

Mukoda stared after the retreating figure, a frown on her face.

“That was weird?” she mused and then looked over to Maria-san who just shrugged in return. She placed her finger between the slight gap made by the recent opening of the book and turned to the page Hikaru had freaked out atat. She laughed at the messy scribble, attracting Maria’s attention.

“This is not the handwriting of an adult,” she concluded as Maria peeked from her side. She noticed that the page was only stapled at the top, and there seemed to be something written underneath. Curiosity getting the better of her, she lifted the page and gaped at the neater and more professional prose.

“Tears and Smile,” she said, reading the title aloud.

Her jaw fell though, as she reached the end of the composition. Maria’s eyes widened.

Underneath the last line was written;

Dedicated to my inspiration,

Yaotome Hikaru

~*~

Chapter 8: Coming Clean

Chapter Text

 

Takaki dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans before pushing himself off the wall. The voices of the children in the playground echoed through his consciousness like a painful reminder of something he never had. He didn’t know why he did this to himself. Maybe years of mingling with the rest of the harsher world had turned him into a sadist.

The unwanted child… that title was something that took him his entire childhood to grow out off.

He shuffled down the sidewalk, eyes on the ground. Passing adults gave him disapproving looks, school boys gaped in intimidation and girls giggled in admiration. He paid them no heed. He felt numbed to their presence, it’s like people were just like the leaves in the wind... just passing him by.

Loneliness wasn’t just a feeling anymore, it was now the very substance of his existence.

He stumbled as a little boy came crashing into him. The boy fell on his back and started crying immediately. He stared at the little boy, with dirt on his face and tears streaming down his cheeks and sighed.

It took barely a minute for the child’s mother to rush to his aid. Takaki shook his head nonchalantly before walking on.

He took in the scent of freshly watered flowers coming to a stand before the gate of a large traditional house. A wooden hand-made sign hung on its with the words Shiawase Home stamped across it in bold letters.

Taking a deep breath he entered the compound, closing the gate behind him.

“Takagi! Okaeri!”

He scowled and rounded upon the speaker. He had to look down though; the other barely reached his knees.

“How many times Shingo, it’s TAKAKI-SAN,”

“Ni-chan!”

“No, definitely no. Nice try, it’s Takaki-san to you brat!”

Little Shingo stared at the towering figure and flashed a toothy grin.

“Hai hai TAKAGI-SAN!”

Takaki groaned in frustration as the elementary school aged kid bounced away, returning to a ball game with three of his friends. Two girls were sitting in the grass playing with old toys and they waved as he passed by.

“It would be really gloomy here without you,”

Takaki shook his head and walked over to the elderly lady watering a nearby flower bed, a toddler on her hip.

“Its not like I could lived here forever you know... man was I glad to finally be able to leave this place,”

Yasuda-san looked at him with a soft smile. The toddler offered Takaki a sweet that had been previously in his mouth. Yasuda-san laughed as Takaki recoiled in disgust.

“I was thinking of handing the place to you, I might deny the fact with my extreme vigor, but I am getting old,” she said putting down the canister and cradling the child.

Takaki leaned against a tree, hands in his pocket and smirked a bit at the woman’s words. He watched the kids playing in the lawn in complete silence before his forehead creased into a frown.

“There shouldn’t be a place like this in the first place; these kids shouldn’t be here,”

“Well they are, and the least we can do is to be there for them right?”

Takaki glared at his feet before nodding with a sigh.

“Not everyone can be as lucky as your old room-mate can they?”

Takaki looked up at her, surprised at the mention of a boy he hadn’t seen in years.

“Yeah, he was lucky, I’m glad he found his parents though, he hated this place,” Takaki mused.

“He’s here Yuya,” Yasuda-san stated seriously, cocking her head towards his room.

“What?” Takaki gasped, bewildered.

“Yes I know, I was pretty much shocked too, but he said that he came to pay us a visit, even brought me flowers and sweets for the rest of the kids,”

“No wonder, Shingo did seem high on sugar,”

Takaki stayed in his position, still trying to comprehend the situation.

"Is that why you called me?"

Yasuda-san nodded.

“He came with his parents and they will be back to pick him up soon. I know you guys had a rough end to your friendship, but since he took the liberty to come back here... and honestly its pretty obvious who he really wants to see so you should at least go say hi,” she advised, wiping the toddlers face.

Takaki was hesitating. He felt nervous.

They had fought before the younger boy had left and that was his last memory of him. The mere thought that he was within a feet from where he now stood made a fresh jab at old wounds. It was curious though. Why would he ever come back?

With an encouraging smile from his old caretaker he began to climb up the wooden steps and thumped his way towards his old room. Taking off his shoes, he placed a hand on the door.

It had been years. He wondered how much the other boy might have changed in this time.

Gulping down his anxiety he slid open the door and stepped in. He jumped slightly at the sight of a figure curled atop the futon. The boy’s eyes fluttered open at the light pouring in from the open door and his lips curled into a soft smile.

“Yuyan?” he asked, voice reasonable tempered by puberty as he sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Takaki continued staring. He had changed… a lot.

It was when the other gave him a confused look that Takaki had found his voice.

“Chinen?”

~*~


Keisuke ran with all his might like nothing else mattered. Not the direction, not the purpose. He just had to run, run away from this confrontation.

He unheeded the calls of his brother, growing more distant as he waded through the crowd, down a side lane, into an alley. He brushed past a tall boy, almost knocking him down.

“What’s with him?” the boy exclaimed rubbing his arm. His eyes widened though as he watched his 'assailant' bump roughly into a man twice his size.

Keisuke hardly remembered the faces of the people he had carelessly knocked into but this one had nearly broke his arm throwing him to the ground.

He flinched, feeling the pain from the impact.

“First, you don’t watch where you’re going and then you don’t even apologize?”

Keisuke stared up at the brusque man with wide eyes. He had lost his voice. He looked like trouble. The alleyway wasn't the most crowded place on earth but the few onlookers had began to disperse afraid of being dragged in.

“I said,” the man growled, grabbing him by the collar and shaking him roughly.

Apologize.”

Keisuke looked away, the man’s breath smelled like alcohol. The adrenaline was pumping through his body like blood.

“I’m waiting brat,” the man spat. Keisuke stared up at him, eyes flashing.

Low Life.

“No.”

~*~

Chapter 9: Glass Hearts

Chapter Text

 

“Raiya you have no chill bro,”

Yuto chuckled as his brother gave him a weird look. Ughh this creature was so cute Yuto wanted to squish him forever.

Raiya went back to bouncing on his heels and grinned too wide as the ice-cream vendor finally handed the young boy his three scoops on a cone with extra nuts and cream.

“Now, what do we say Raiya?” Yuto reprimanded as the boy dug into his desert without hesitation. Raiya, rather irritated, peeked up from under his bangs.

“I’m not five years old Ni-san,” he grumbled. Yuto raised an eyebrow. Raiya rolled his eyes before turning back to the vendor and bowed.

“Thank you very much!”

The man smiled and patted him on the head.

Sighing, Yuto reached out his hand to grab Raiya who had started to drift away like the helium balloon he was but gasped in pain as he felt someone collide into him sideways instead before taking off without an apology.

“What’s with him?” he grumbled, rubbing his arm. His anger morphed to horror immediately as he watched his 'assailant' collide against a swaggering man who in his fury grabbed him roughly before pushing him into a side lane.

“Ni-chan?” Raiya called out as Yuto continued gaping. The pedestrians continued their undisturbed flow. Yuto’s eyebrows furrowed, his fists clenched.

“Raiya, I need you to go home first,”

“But-,”

“No buts, now go,”

Raiya took some reluctant steps but paused to watch his brother making his way cautiously into the sidelane.

“Brother, be safe.”

~*~


Keisuke yelped as he was slammed against the wall, the impact making his eyes water.

“You insolent little brat!”

He felt his vision blur from the tears of his pain and he flinched as the man’s heavy footsteps came to a halt before him. He clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the blow from his raised fist.

“Hold it right there!”

Keisuke eyes snapped open and he scrunched up his face, his emotions tethering on the brink.

“Don’t you dare lay a finger on him!”

Keisuke’s eyes widened as they fell upon the fuming figure. His face was flushed, he was panting and sweating profusely and fists were clenched as he glared at the man with murder in his eyes. It was frightening, seeing the gentle and soft-spoken boy in his present state.

“Or what?” the man barked back, narrowing his eyes. Keito scowled as Yuto placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Keito, you know you can’t fight him,” he whispered, the tone of his voice thick with warning. His gaze travelled over the figure sprawled against the brick wall, and then to his face, immediately locking with Keisuke’s bewildered ones. The boy's eyes were bloodshot and he was holding his arm in pain. He couldn't believe it when he saw a very worried Keito dashing in after the two before he could but knowing that was his precious younger brother in pain made his blood boil. He gave the boy a reassuring nod although deep inside, he wasn't so sure of what really was about to happen.

“Keisuke,” Keito began, voice stern.

“Come here,”

Keisuke’s lips trembled as he looked away, his bangs sticking to his sweat-drenched face.

“Why did you come after me?” he asked, voice cracking.

Keito frowned.

“What do you mean idiot? Why did you just run off like that?”

“Wouldn’t you be happier if I did and never came back,” Keisuke almost shouted back, eyes getting teary.

Both the man and Yuto stood quietly and confused, unable to find a position in between the two brothers.

“Why would I... Keisuke how could you even think of me like that?”

“Well don't you? I can see right through you Keito, you're just too nice to admit it,” Keisuke snapped, holding his head with a hand that trembled from the outpouring of a hidden frustration. Keito looked back at him, hurt evident in his eyes.

“I took your father from you... didn’t I?”

Yuto wanted to shrink to a size invisible to the eyes and run. The conversation seemed a little too private for his presence. The man seemed even more lost.

“Why are you quiet Keito? You do feel that way don’t you?” Keisuke yelled, his voice was getting hoarse.

“I…I don’t…no…it’s not like that at all…just…,”

Keisuke let out an almost strangled laugh.

“I knew it,” he hissed, slamming his fist onto the trash bin by his side.

“Hey... relax! You’re brother cares for you, a lot...,”

Yuto had found his voice again. He flinched as Keisuke directed a murderous glare his way.

“Who the hell are you to interfere?” he snapped.

“Don’t talk to him like that!” Keito shouted back. Yuto took a few steps back, worry overtaking his logic.

He was making matters worse.

“Sure, let that stupid pole act like he knows what's going on and I should just up and listen?”

Yuto frowned.

Pole?

“He’s my best friend, and I won’t have you talking to him like that, got it?”

Yuto began mumbling, trying to calm the two but finding no appropriate words to do so.

“I… hate you,”

Keito’s looked like he had been struck by lightening as Keisuke glared bloody murder.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” he screamed hysterically, clutching at his hair. Keito felt week all of a sudden, his stomach churning uncomfortably, eyes tearing up immediately. Yuto wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

“I HATE YOU SO MUCH!”

“Shut it,” the man spoke roughly and slapped Keisuke tight across his face. There was a sudden, awkward, really shocked silence.

“That’ll be enough of your drama!”

He turned to the shocked duo and cocked his head challengingly.

"I'm already having a bad day and it won't get better until I beat the pulp out of this tantrum-throwing brat!"

Keito nearly exploded.

“I’m going to kill you!” he roared, attempting to lunge forward. Yuto held onto him, tightening his hold as Keito struggled viciously.

“Let me go Yuto!”

“NO!”

Keito looked up at Yuto, eyes wide. Yuto shook his head, trying to calm him with a stern gaze.

He then turned to the man and stood firm.

“If you want to pick a fight, go find someone worth your strength, there’s no need to take it out on him... and for whatever he did to tick you off, I'm sorry,”

“Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?” the man snapped and shoved Yuto roughly. The lanky boy gasped at the force and collided into Keito, sending them both tumbling onto the ground. The man then turned onto Keisuke and swung his leg, aiming for the boy’s stomach. His eyes widened though as he felt his limb halted firmly in its progress.

Keisuke had grabbed the leg with an iron grip. The boy looked up before tugging his hands upwards. With a yelp the man came crashing onto the ground. As he lay flat on his back, still trying to comprehend what had actually happened, Keisuke got to his feet and walked over him to where Keito and Yuto were still struggling to untangle themselves.

They froze as Keisuke stood by their side and without looking at them directly he said;

“I’m going home.”

Keito’s eyes widened as he spotted the developing bruise on Keisuke’s left cheek and neck. Just then, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

He felt lightheaded as he read the text message.

“Keito, what’s wrong?” Yuto asked helping him up. Keito looked at him, worry evident in his features.

“Dad’s coming home today.”

~*~

Chapter 10: Goodbye Dear Brother

Chapter Text

 

Keito leaned back into the softness of the couch, arms crossed upon his chest, silence on his lips. He cast his vision upon the figure of his father, striding to and fro, busy on his phone. His eyes met with Yuto’s, who sat on the armchair nearby and he mouthed a silent apology for having him come along. Yuto shook his head and gave him an encouraging smile.

 

Keito sighed.

“What’s taking the boy so long?” Kenichi grumbled staring at the closed door of the young star’s room.

“Why father?”

“Why what Keito?”

“This decision, all of a sudden?”

Yuto began twiddling with his thumbs, uncertain of what to do as the conversation was in pure English. He began nursing his head, trying to ease the headache that had been growing since the confrontation and then the whole explaining to the police thing. It's a good thing he had taken his pills today. 

“Keisuke needs to further his training to excel in the music industry, and I’ve found him a pretty good coach,”

“But… South Korea?”

Kenichi sighed, rubbing his temples in slow heavy circles. He looked exhausted and Keito felt guilty for not being a help at all, but he was in no way ready to be separated from Keisuke. The sound of the boy's 'I hate you' s still resonated in his ear and it hurt, but he was not going to let their relationship end at that.

“I know it’s sudden, but the coach is a busy man, and I have to take Keisuke there to complete his training, you don’t have a problem with that do you?”

Keito looked away, afraid that his expressions might give out too much.

“It’s just that,” he began rather softly.

“It’s too sudden,”

Yuto had been watching the interaction silently from his corner of the room. His forehead wrinkled in puzzlement as he noticed a strange kind of anxiety suddenly appear in Okamoto Kenichi’s features.

 

It gave him a bad feeling, a very bad feeling.

“Is everything alright Okamoto-san?” Yuto asked regretting it the very next minute as he received a frustrated glare from the elder. It had gotten Keito’s attention, who was now gaping at his father, hints of worry now visible on his features.

“There’s no other problem, is there?” Keito pressed on, getting to his feet.

Just then, the door of Keisuke’s room opened and the tension in the room eased out all of a sudden, the attention being diverted to the star as he descended the stairs, hauling a bag along. His face was completely overshadowed by his large navy blue cap.

 

Yuto felt a pang of déjà vu.

“Ready?” asked Kenichi walking over to his adopted child. Keisuke nodded obediently, eyes downcast.

“What’s that?” Kenichi asked suddenly and Keito felt his stomach churn as he too spotted what his father had seen. Keisuke remained unresponsive as Kenichi pulled off his hat.

A heavy silence hung in the air as all eyes lingered on the bluish-purple bruise staining Keisuke’s right cheek. It seemed paler under make-up but it stood stark against the rest of the skin in trained eyes like Kenichi's.

“How did this happen?” Kenichi asked and Keito could feel the hint of controlled anger in his voice.

“Keisuke?”

The boy flinched at the severity of his father’s tone but he could not find the courage to speak at all.

“We had a fight,”

All eyes fell upon Keito. Yuto’s mouth was agape. Keisuke was staring at him in complete disbelief.

“Keito? You hit him?” Kenichi bellowed, outraged.

“No... NO NO he's lying, it was an accident!” Keisuke shouted out, panicking. Kenichi ignored him and strode over to his oldest, holding him by the shoulders.

"You have been disobeying me?"

Keito nodded guiltily.

"Sorry father,"

"How did this happen?"

"It was my fault, we got into a fight... ended up with some trouble in the streets... Yuto and I took care of it though... even the one policeman,"

Keisuke groaned in frustration. Kenichi's grip on Keito's shoulders tightened a bit.

“That is why,” he began, his voice trembling with frustration.

“That’s why I had to keep the two of you apart, it’s because you can never understand the risks Keito, and you can’t ever understand me,”

Keito blinked, completely taken aback. Kenichi sighed, his grip becoming gentler.

“You see that face?” he said, pointing at Keisuke. Keito stared and nodded dumbly. Keisuke looked terrified as if he knew what was coming and was bracing himself for it.

“That little bruise could cost us a contract, his face is his most important asset, without it, he would still be a struggling artist,”

Keisuke bit his lip, putting his cap back on.

“I never meant to hurt you boys with all the things I've done, like separating the two of you after you had gotten so close. I knew you needed him because of the void I had created... and I brought him into the family all for you... but then I had to do it... for everyone's sake. I’m your father after all, but this industry is ruthless and that’s why…,”

Keito looked at his father, eyes wide. Kenichi’s grip around him had become firm but in a very affectionate, protective manner.

“That’s why I had to keep you away from it completely, to protect you from it,”

Keito felt his hands and feet go cold.

“You're my most precious son Keito, do you understand?” Kenichi asked, a smile in place. Keito gulped audibly before nodding.

Yuto’s eyes travelled to the boy standing behind the father and son and he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Keisuke was staring at the ground like a being devoid of emotions.

I didn’t know which side I was on. I was happy for Keito, that his father loved him so much but I couldn’t help feeling concerned about his brother… he seemed perfectly whole yet at the same time completely broken. Okamoto Kenichi’s words had a strange effect on me, and I really couldn’t understand… what Keisuke actually was to him?

Keisuke looked up, his movements sluggish but froze as his eyes locked with Yuto’s. It was as if he could feel the sympathy radiating from the tall boy’s eyes.

His eyes told me of his pain… and for some reason I felt very concerned for him. Maybe it was Keito's fondness of him that had rubbed off on Keito... or something about the very familiar cap.

And as if it was a trick of fate, it clicked… for the both of them.

The guy from the train?

“Let’s go Keisuke,”

Shaking himself out of his stupor, the boy placed a hand on his bag and watched his father walk out of the apartment.

“Do you see now Keito?”

Keito turned to his brother to find him smiling softly.

“Our father loves us, you… because you’re his one and only flesh and blood,”

He shuffled to the door and with his back to Keito, he continued;

“Me… because it’s his job.”

And the door was closed upon that.

 

~*~

 

Chapter 11: Frequency of the Heart

Chapter Text

 

“Bocchan, would you like to take the car today?”

Tatsuya stiffened as his master shook his head, curls swinging softly with the movement. He raised an elegant hand and signaled for his dismissal.

“As you wish,” replied Tatsuya, bowing swiftly before watching the young man make his way down the grand marble steps and onto the paved pathway. His gray jersey, worn-out jeans, Nike sneakers and the bag slung across his petite frame contrasted starkly with the suits of his servants, the well kept hedges flanking the cobblestone ground and the magnificent Manor he was leaving behind.

“Kei?”

The young man turned around immediately, fingers upon his music player, an earphone in one ear, the other dangling over his chest.

“Library?”

He nodded, eyes smiling softly at his older cousin.

“I heard some of your classmates are having a party,”

“I have to study,”

“It’s the weekend Kei,”

“I know, I just don’t want to be left behind,”

Tegoshi sighed; there was definitely no arguing with the boy.

“Alright, but when you come back, your father wants to have a word with the two of us,” he continued, hands in his pocket, observant eyes fixed upon the younger man. There was a silent anxiety, a strange awkwardness in what had seemed like an ordinary chat. After a few moments of poignancy, Inoo sighed deeply before smiling up at him.

“I’ll see you at dinner then,”

Tegoshi nodded as he watched Inoo plug in the remaining headphone before shuffling towards the main gates. He looked over at the head servant standing by the side of the main entrance and shook his head with a small smile.

“It’s a cruel world isn’t it?” he sighed. Tatsuya stared at the floor.

“It sure is Sir, it sure is.”

~*~


“And a very good evening to our beloved listeners, this is Ari-chan coming to you live from our station in central Tokyo, please be well prepared as we occupy your frequencies for an hour of fun and music for your listening pleasure,”


Inoo dug his hands in his pockets as he made his way through the crowded street, the music drifting into his consciousness from his headphones, keeping him company.

“Alright people, the first request comes from one of my favourite listeners, Key-san. He wishes all people of Tokyo a very good day and dedicates Utada Hikaru’s Hikari to…me? Oh, wow…thanks a lot Key-san,”


Inoo smiled softly. You’re welcome.


“You know people, me and Key-san go pretty far back. Although we have never actually met in person, Key-san was one of our early listeners and has been an avid follower of my show since it started about a year back. I remember his was the first ever dedication and song request that I had ever taken. What song was it again?”

Inoo frowned. Tokyo Nights.

“Ah yes, it was an Utada song as well…Tokyo Nights if I’m not mistaken and I remembered that he had dedicated it to me with a friendly ‘gambateh’, haha…I guess I must have sounded pretty nervous back then, it being my first show and all…anyways…thanks for always being there Key-san,”

Thanks for always being there for me, Ari-chan.

Inoo came to a stand-still before the steps leading up to the library building. He looked around for a familiar face and his frown relaxed as he found one.

“Been waiting long?” he asked turning off his music player. The young man before him grinned.

“Nah, I just arrived as well, thanks for agreeing to accompany me, I know it’s the weekend and all and you’re already so busy-,”

“Yabu shut it, let’s just get inside and start on our assignments, and then you’re treating me to lunch,”

Yabu scowled. Inoo smirked.

“Fine,” huffed the taller of the two before they set off towards the entrance.


~*~


“Good work today Dai-chan,”

Arioka Daiki looked up to give his producer a smile and a thumbs up before slipping his back pack on.

“Do you want me to drop you home?”

“Massu senpai, I’m not a little kid,” Daiki grumbled, exiting his booth. Massu frowned.

“I know I might look like I am,” Daiki continued and rolled his eyes as Massu nodded in agreement.

“I’m out of here, I have a presentation due on Monday,” he said popping a gum into his mouth.

“Take care my little DJ!” Massu called out and chuckled as Daiki gave him an irritated look before exiting the studio.

“Little DJ? Really, when will people stop with the short jokes, it’s not even funny,” Daiki grumbled.

He halted in his steps as he heard thunder sounding overhead. Groaning at his stupidity of not bringing an umbrella, he stepped out of the studio and ran across the street to stand under the shelter of the bus stop on the other side. He sat on the bench and looked at his watch. It was late into the afternoon but the dark clouds made it seem later than that. Yet, it would still be too early to go back home since his entire family won't be home till evening.

The falling rain was a deluge, lashing the streets and the traffic mercilessly. Daiki looked to his side to find a lanky teenager sitting still with his eyes upon the sky. He had an umbrella in his hand.

Daiki mused over the possibility of making his way across the massive grounds of the library. He could get his homework done until the rain subsided. He didn’t want to get more drenched than he already was and he definitely couldn’t risk catching a cold. Pulling out his scarf from his back pack, he wrapped it around his neck. His eyes travelled again to the boy and the object in his hand.

Maybe he could borrow the kid’s umbrella. He cleared his throat loudly but frowned as he got no response. It was then he realized how pale the boy actually was and that his breathing seemed rather labored.

“Are you alright?” he asked moving closer. The boy looked at him with bleary eyes.

“I need to get to the airport,” he croaked weakly. Daiki cocked an eyebrow.

“You should get someplace warm; you don’t look so good,”

“But he’s leaving, that idiot is leaving the country,” the boy argued as if Daiki had a very good idea of what he was talking about. Of course he did not, but his concern for the stranger’s health kept him silent.

“What is your name?” Daiki asked calmly. The boy scrunched up his face, as if trying to recall a distant memory. Daiki felt a pang of fear.

“Um… It’s Ryutaro,” the boy replied finally but flinched as thunder sounded overhead.

“Okay, calm down Ryutaro, I’m Daiki,”

Ryutaro gave him a lopsided smile. Daiki shook his head and placed his palm onto Ryutaro’s forehead. His eyes widened.

“It’s cold,” Ryutaro mumbled uncomfortably, inching away from Daiki’s hand.

“You’re running a high fever,” Daiki said getting to his feet, a tone of urgency in his voice. He took off his jacket and placed it around the
trembling boy. He looked at the library then back at the studio across the street.

“Need to get you out of the cold,” he said, hauling Ryutaro onto his feet. He took the umbrella and opened it.

“You know, my friend…Tanaka Keisuke is leaving the country and he just told me, do you believe the nerve of that guy!” Ryutaro chirped as Daiki began supporting him across the Library grounds.

“You mean the actor?” Daiki asked bemused.

“Yah… he does act up once in a while,” Ryutaro continued hazily, looking pretty miffed.

“I think your high temperature is affecting you bad,” Daiki muttered struggling under his weight since Ryutaro was now completely leaning on him.

~*~


“Ne Yabu, remember that DJ I told you about?”

“Yeah, you’re ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ right?”

Inoo made a face.

“Did I really describe him like that?” he asked bemused as he watched Yabu bend over his papers, scribbling furiously.

Yabu hummed in reply. Inoo sighed.

“I don’t know Yabu, he’s surprisingly mature, he gives really good advice and his voice is rather … comforting; like an old friend talking to you,”

“How old is he anyway?” Yabu asked nonchalantly. He scowled as his pencil tip broke.

“Wow Yabu, since when have I had the ability to guess a person’s age by his voice?” Inoo retorted sarcastically only to be shushed by the patrolling librarian. He jumped as Yabu tore a paper into two and slammed his head against the table.

“I hate my life,” he mumbled, lips against the hardwood desk. Inoo patted his head sympathetically.

“Is it hard?” Inoo asked picking up a thick textbook that was lying open next to Yabu.

“No, it’s just a lot of work… you should know very well Kei,” he muttered in response. Inoo nodded with a scowl, gaze lingering over his own pile of work. 

Just then the library door creaked heavily as they were pushed open and a single voice reverberated in the silent atmosphere, breaking it effectively. Inoo’s eyes widened as he recognized the voice awfully well.

“Somebody help us please!”

~*~

Chapter 12: Blogger and Reader

Chapter Text

 

“Don’t worry mom, I’ll be home soon,”

Yuto ended his call and stared at the forlorn figure seated on the dining table. He inhaled sharply and allowed himself to fall back onto the couch, feeling utterly useless.

He gazed at the hanging clock, a hand on his throbbing temple. He should make a move since he was supposed to get some shopping done on his way back, but he just couldn’t find the heart to leave Keito alone in this state. The persistent headache though gave him a bad feeling; it had been too much drama for one day.

He fingered the keys on his phone, in an attempt to check his inbox; his mother would have sent the list for the grocery by now. His eyes widened as he spotted a certain commenter’s message on his past blog entry; the one in which he had dramatically revealed his deepest secret to the world.

Ichigo-sama.

Keisuke’s face flashed in front of his eyes. Opening the mail with trembling hands, he was overwhelmed by the short yet meaningful text.

'Worry not Drummerboy, I’ll travel the world if I have to, but I will do my best to bring your friend back to you… promise.'

“Ne Keito,”

“Hmm?”

“Does Keisuke like strawberries?”

He heard a deep chuckle.

“He’s obsessed with ‘em,”

Keito watched Yuto barging out of the apartment with wide eyes.

“What the-?”

~*~


Keisuke rubbed his weary eyes before stretching fully. He sighed deeply, inhaling the fresh air while watching the progress of the falling rain. He began humming to distract himself, as he waited patiently for his father’s car to appear from the underground parking area. He ran his fingers over the handle of his suitcase, feeling the smooth texture underneath his skin. He jumped though as he heard a loud voice from behind him.

“Keisuke-kun, please wait!”

He turned around swiftly and rolled his eyes.

“What do you want Tower-san?”

Yuto gasped as he felt a sharp pain in his chest and stumbled immediately to a halt. Dizziness overtaking him, he felt his knees buckle underneath him and braced himself for the impact onto the cemented floor.

“Omph!”

Yuto kept his eyes shut, waiting for the dizziness to pass. He remained limp in the arms of the one who had caught him, breathing steadying.

“What the hell? Get off me!”

Yuto shakily pushed himself into a sitting position, giving Keisuke an apologetic bow.

“You… okay?” Keisuke asked rather hesitantly. Yuto nodded, breathing a sigh of relief as everything came back into focus.

“I’m fine… Ichigo-sama,” he said rather impulsively. It was worth a shot.

He watched as Keisuke’s confused frown morphed into pure bewilderment.

“You’re… you’re Drummerboy? That band on your blog… it’s the one Keito’s in?”

Yuto nodded quietly. Both boys remained silent, Keisuke’s eyes upon the floor and Yuto’s upon him.

“You’re really that ill huh?”

Yuto sighed before nodding.

“I’m sorry… for being so rude to you... honestly I feel like an ass... for everything,”

Yuto shook his head.

“I don’t need an apology Keisuke-kun, I can understand, I shouldn’t have interfered between the two of you,”

“Nah I kind of was throwing a tantrum... I feel so stupid you have no idea,”

There was silence once again. Keisuke scanned the entrance to the underground parking, frowning as the car he was waiting for had yet to
arrive. It had been almost 15 minutes since he had left the apartment with his manager.

“Does he know?”

Yuto stared at him. Keisuke looked back at him sternly.

“Does Keito know about your… illness?”

Yuto shook his head again.

“You can’t tell him,”

“Why, he’ll be hurt-,”

“Keisuke-kun, please, you need to keep this a secret for now,”

“But-,”

“Please,” Yuto pleaded. Keisuke frowned.

“Keisuke!”

Keisuke turned at the sound of his father, beckoning him towards their black car.

“I… that’s my ride,” he said getting to his feet. He offered a hand to Yuto but was surprised when the boy bowed his head instead.

“I need you to full fill your promise Keisuke-kun,”

“Promise?”

Yuto nodded.

Keisuke gaped. He gulped down the hesitancy and wrapped his fingers firmly around Yuto’s arm. With surprising strength he pulled Yuto up to his feet.

“You okay?” he asked as Yuto clutched the side of his head.

“I’ll be okay,” Yuto replied, taking deep breaths.

“Keisuke!”

Keisuke waved at his father and held up his palm as if to say “5 minutes”.

“I will find him for you,”

Yuto stared at him intently, face strained with disbelief. Keisuke beamed; his pearly teeth bright against the dull surroundings and took Yuto’s hands in his own. Yuto felt another pang of déjà vu.

“I’m serious,” Keisuke continued firmly, squeezing his hands gently.

“But you need to do me a favour in return,”

“What can I do for you?” Yuto asked, confused.

Keisuke sighed.

“Take care of my extra-sensitive brother until I bring your old friend back, is that fair?” he asked seriously. Yuto let out a strangled laugh before nodding fervently. Keisuke grinned.

“Good, Ja ne!”

Acting on impulse, it was something I had done countless times before but this would be the first time I had done something this unexpected. I don’t really know what I was expecting, except for the fact that I had become so desperate as to share a seemingly impossible dream with a person who had nothing to do with my past.

Keisuke had taken only a few steps when he heard Yuto call him.

“Please wait,”

Keisuke looked at him, confused. Yuto slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his most prized possession before walking over to the shorter boy. He handed the badge over to him.

“Yamada Ryosuke?” Keisuke read out.

Yuto nodded.

“The only clue I have of him, keep it safe, please,”

“Keisuke, we’re going to be late for our flight!” Kenichi shouted over the noise of the downpour. Keisuke gave him a wave to let him know he heard.

He then placed a comforting hand on Yuto’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

“I will, until we meet again, goodbye…Yuto-kun.”

 

~*~


Okamoto Kenichi watched his young star shuffle towards him, dragging his suitcase along. His eyes narrowed at the lanky figure watching him before shifting to his driver.

"Use all short cuts that you know, we need to leave Japan on this flight no matter what the consequence," he said sternly. The driver nodded.

"As you wish sir,"

Kenichi began tapping the window impatiently until Keisuke slid in next to him.

"Sorry,"
 
He shook his head nonchalantly and motioned for the driver to start moving. Unbeknown to them, the driver reached down to a black revolver hanging from his belt, as if to confirm it's presence before placing his hands back onto the steering wheel.

"Fasten your seat belts please," he began.

"It's going to be  a rough ride."

 

~*~

Chapter 13: Family Names

Chapter Text

 

“So, that’s why you’re here?”

Silence filled the insides of the room, oblivious to the cheerful laughter of the children in the courtyard beyond its walls. Chinen gave the floor a bitter glare, fighting back the oncoming tears.

“I was just trying to help,” he muttered, gritting his teeth.

“I’m grateful for your pity, but I’ve lived 13 years as Yuya, the boy without a surname and I’m fine with it,”

“They want you back!”

Takaki’s eyes flashed dangerously, making Chinen flinch. He had never seen the older boy this way before.

“I’ve taken the name now, I think that is enough, it’s enough that the world will know me as Takaki Yuya, but I’ll never give them the privilege to have me as a part of their family.”

“They are your family and you can never change that,” Chinen retorted. Takaki bowed his head, fists clenched tight.

“I know, but unlike your family Yuri, they didn’t come back for me, they were willing to forget that I’d even existed!”

Chinen remained silent.

“I’m fine the way I am, thanks for all the trouble and just…leave…please,”

Chinen watched with a frown as Takaki walked out of the room. His fingers curled around the roll of the foreign newspapers by his side and he furled it open, staring at the headlines.

‘7 year old son of Japanese International Business Tycoon abducted, family fails to meet ransom demands’

‘Takaki Business Collapses, the downfall of an empire’

‘Police fails to find kidnappers of 7 year old Yuya Takaki, boy remains missing’

Chinen sighed and stuffed the newspapers back into his bag before getting to his feet. It really was a waste of time, coming back to the one place he despised more than anywhere else.

He held his breath as the door swung open but was slightly disappointed as the person entering the room wasn’t Yuya.

“I brought you some mochi and some tea for your nerves,” said Yasuda-san with a gentle smile. She placed the tray on the little table in the middle of the room and got to her knees, pouring the tea into two cups.

“It was very sweet of you,” she said as Chinen approached her.

“Yuya doesn’t seem to feel the same,” he mumbled bitterly. The owner of the orphanage smiled.

“You know Yuri, 13 years ago, a black van had stopped outside the gates of this Home and they had dropped Yuya here before leaving in a hurry. I was in the garden. It was just a few minutes before sunrise and the poor boy had nothing on but a simple shirt on with summer shorts. It was the middle of November and he was shivering. I rushed to him and tried to get him inside. It was the hardest thing to do especially when he kept staring at me like I was some strange creature from another planet,”

Chinen chuckled as Yasuda-san pushed the sweets towards him.

“It was the weather that helped me out, I managed to get him into warm clothes, fed and sent to sleep. He was a difficult child, and that’s why I thought he must’ve had a hard time before being left at the Home. He was quiet, withdrawn, and unfriendly and I was having trouble fitting him with the other kids. They were all afraid of him. He even bit a senior,”

“Bit?” Chinen asked amused. Yasuda-san nodded with a laugh.

“The first time I heard him speak to anyone dear, was 4 years later, when you came along and became his roommate,”

Chinen sipped his tea in silence, remembering how Yuya had comforted him on his first night, when he had been lost and terrified of the world.

“He had taken you as a younger brother, good lord... he was so protective and possessive over you it was frightening,”

“Then my parents found me,” Chinen continued for her, placing his cup onto the hardwood table.

“It was a miracle, you and him had an almost similar case; you were kidnapped by people holding grudges against your family and then dropped at this Home when they failed to meet the ransom demands, but you were lucky that your parents lived in the same country and they came all the way here looking for you,”

“He didn’t talk to me, the day I was leaving,” Chinen said.

“He cried,” Yasuda-san replied, draining her tea. Chinen stared at her.

“Yes boy, he used to cry himself to sleep after you left, for almost a week, he couldn’t fit in with anybody else either. His school life had always been rather turbulent but he never involved anybody, independent from the start that’s what he was, nobody knew when he graduated and started working, but over the years, I had become so dependant on him that I was actually afraid of the day he would leave,”

“He seems rather grown up now,” Chinen commented with an exasperated sigh. Yasuda-san smiled at him.

“I know…he’s not very open and seems rather cold, but you of all the people should know that the boy has a heart of gold. Don’t let his words hurt you, the world had been harsh on him, that’s why he seems so tough, but he still feels…maybe even more than you and me.”


~*~

Chapter 14: Connecting the Dots

Chapter Text

 

“Is he going to be alright senpai?” Daiki asked with a frown as he watched Yabu wrap the unconscious boy in his jacket.

“It’s just a high fever Arioka, we’ll find a way to drop him home when he wakes up,” Yabu replied. He then threw a confused glance at Inoo who was gaping at Ryutaro with a very strange expression.

“Is he alright?” Daiki whispered, cocking his head at Inoo. Yabu shrugged.

“He seems familiar,” he continued. Yabu gave him a smile.

“We’re all at the same university Arioka, he’s in the Architecture department,”

“Oh, so that’s why,”

Yabu nodded.

They all became alert as Ryutaro stirred, bleary eyes blinking open. His eyes fell upon Inoo, who stood right before him and after a few seconds of trying to gather his senses together, he forced apart his dry lips and croaked out;

“Inoo-chan?”

Inoo was by his side in the blink of an eye.

“What the hell are you doing Ryutaro? How did you end up like this?” he asked, concern straining his tone.

“Oh, so they know each other,” Yabu exclaimed.

“Um…it’s a small world?” Daiki replied awkwardly.

“I want to go home,” Ryutaro croaked back, face as bland and expressionless as possible. Inoo nodded, reaching for his phone in his pocket before violently smashing the key for the first number on his speed dial.

As Inoo exasperatedly waited for the person on the other end of the line to pick up, Yabu began rummaging through his bag for his water bottle, his eyes widening as he realized something was amiss.

His search became violent and he groaned as he found no trace of his precious song book.

'I must have left it at the restaurant!' He remembered miserably.

“PICK UP YOU IDIOT!”

Daiki chuckled as Inoo was shushed severely by the annoyed librarian (the one who had been hovering around them like a vulture ever since they managed to coax her into lending them a corner of a private reading area).

“What’s wrong senpai?” Daiki asked at the horrified look on Yabu’s face. Yabu merely shrugged weakly in return.

Inoo clicked his tongue as his call was finally answered with a very sleepy,

“Moshi Mosh?”

“Yaotome Hikaru why the hell are you still asleep? It’s in the middle of the afternoon!” Inoo gritted furiously, trying his best to keep his voice down. Yabu’s head snapped to his direction, eyes widened.

“Mou Kei, I only have one day off and our practice doesn’t start until 4,”

“Idiot, get out of bed and come to the bus station in front of the library near…,”

“Kanagawa Studio,” Daiki piped in. Inoo nodded rather nervously.

“Near the Kanagawa Studio, Ryutaro’s with me and he’s running a fever,”

Inoo rolled his eyes as he heard the loud sounds of Hikaru toppling off his bed, cursing, and then banging his head against something hard before he was back on the phone.

“I’ll be right there, wait for me.”

Inoo flipped his phone shut.

“Yabu, where are you going?” he asked bewildered as the older man slung his bag over his shoulder.

“I need to go look for something,”

“Running away from something more likely,” Ryutaro croaked, eyes still closed. Inoo raised an eyebrow as Yabu paled.

“What makes you say that?” Daiki asked taken aback by the sudden statement.

“Just guessing, that’s how I look when dad keeps asking me about my part time job,”

“What is that really?” Inoo asked suspiciously. Ryutaro yawned.

“Use your imagination,” he huffed. Inoo stared at the boy on his lap in disbelief. Even in this state the boy had enough energy to be his usual sarcastic self.

“I’ll see you later ‘kay?” Yabu muttered before taking off. The trio remained in silence for what seemed like an hour.

“What department?” Inoo asked suddenly, eyes still on the sleeping boy. Daiki looked at him in slight surprise.

“Mass Media and Communication,” he replied cheerfully.

“Do you work?” Inoo asked again, checking Ryutaro’s forehead. Daiki blinked.

“I’m a DJ at Kanagawa Studio,” he replied, feeling a little nervous with the boy’s strict demeanour.

“Ari-chan?” Inoo asked, successfully hiding his anticipation. Daiki beamed.

“You listen to my show!”

“Sometimes,” Inoo mumbled, still avoiding eye contact. Daiki nodded with a smile.

“Send me a request sometimes, I’ve got an awesome collection back at the studio, is there any particular artist you like…um…let me guess…Bonz? Mr. Children?Arashi?”

“Utada Hikaru,” Inoo replied simply, giving Daiki a startling smile. Daiki stared, slightly flabbergasted.

“… Nice… choice,” he replied, eyebrows arching into a frown.

 

~*~
 

The fumes were thick gray and hot, swirling around the wild flames that swallowed the black vehicle whole as it lay crumpled against the gravel floored slope. The railing by the roadside above had been dented and broken through, like a ribbon ripped apart.

A train was missed and two passengers were left behind as the plane heading for Seoul took off into the afternoon sky.


~*~

Chapter 15: Chaotic Overtones

Chapter Text

 

“Are you serious? A real band?”

Inoo hummed quietly, nimble fingers testing the sounds of his keyboard. He looked up and smiled slightly as Daiki scurried around the room, peeking under the cover of Yuto’s drums and gasping with amazement.

“Ne ne Inoo-san, play something please!” he said rounding upon Inoo and staring at him with pleading eyes. Inoo raised an eyebrow at the request and fell into a momentary silence.

“What do you want me to play?” he asked softly.

Daiki smiled rather cheekily, startling him.

“Something from Utada,”

Inoo chuckled shyly before placing his fingers over the white keys. Daiki dug his hands in his pockets, eyes fixed on the older boy.

The room was peaceful, imbued with the golden honey glow of the late afternoon sun flowing in from one solitary window high up on the wall.

The corner of Inoo’s lips tugged into a little smile as his fingers began their dance.

Daiki began nodding his head to the subtle tones, a little smile in place.

He’s good,’ he thought, enjoying the composition.

However, a few seconds into the song, and Daiki found himself gasping in complete disbelief.

Here he thought he had found a little group of amateur wannabes playing songs in a basement… and now he found himself stunned, heart beat rapid, feet frozen in one place, mouth agape.

Inoo Kei was no amateur.

It was beautiful… his style, his grace, his music… the way his slender fingers danced upon the ivory keys with apt and poise and the way his loose curls swayed around his face framing a confident, content expression called for attention. 

The melody… his melody. It was a song without lyrics but the music spoke volumes... it was loud and soft and then strong and gentle. 

Unbeknownst to them, the door was slightly ajar, and the extent of talent displayed within the room had taken all who stood outside by surprise.

Inoo had been holding himself back the whole time. 

Yuto closed his eyes… and felt it. He knew they all felt it…Keito with his fake reassurances of his well being, Takaki with his unbreakable silence and Hikaru… Hikaru with his personal collection of emotions, locked up behind a silly grin.

Inoo played what they couldn't express... something they had been trying to do through their songs but couldn't. 

Chaotic…the world is a mess, a great mass of confusion…a display of clashing emotions and actions…

Like a well written symphony, with no pitch too high or too low, no tempo too fast or too slow…

We try to live our lives within the lines drawn to keep us safe…

No risks taken, no chances attempted…

No smiles lost, no tears shed…

No blood spilt, no wound engraved…

No feelings revealed, no grudges dismissed,

No lies spoken, No truths realized,

It was nothing like what we had done in the past; kept ourselves safe from getting hurt, afraid to face the realities around us, in fear of not being able to handle the pain…

But what was this Inoo-chan? You’re music…the way you were playing…overflowing with chaos yet completely under your control…

It was something else, something new…something different…

It was bold, it was challenging…you were attempting the impossible, taking the chance, you were standing up against something powerful, something you never told us…maybe finding us incapable of understanding your troubles…

Just like the rest of us.

I salute you my friend… for the courage in your music, for the courage in your heart…

Hopefully one day, we would be able to measure up to you…and break free... in the way we are meant to.

~*~

 

Chapter 16: Dreamer's Truth

Chapter Text


I could never understand the reason behind my awful nightmares. They were always so vivid, real... graphic. I guess I had a pretty weird imagination. The smallest of worries hovering in the back of my mind would materialise in some form or another and have me screaming myself awake.

This time, I found myself standing in a meadow before a round table. Upon it stood a basket of the reddest, juiciest looking strawberries I had ever seen. I found myself walking towards them before starting to gorge them down hysterically, even when I felt like puking. The air had started to become thick and foggy making me choke. My eyes then fell upon a car parked at a distance from where I stood, lit up by a hungry blaze. To my horror, a hand, the skin charred and peeling, stuck out from the back window amongst the bellowing fumes and began waving a soot covered school badge.

It was in the middle of the night when I got that call. I wasn’t angry at the disturbance, yet rather glad as it had awoken me from the bizarre dream. I found myself shivering of the cold, my body drenched in sweat. With shaky hands I reached for the bottle of water on the side of my bed and turned the lamp on.

I hated waking up in a dark room right after a nightmare.

The phone started ringing again and squinting at the screen I was extremely surprised to know that it was Keito. After all, it wasn’t in his nature to give me a call at 3 o’clock in the morning, so naturally, I was extremely anxious as I answered his call.

“Keito-chan? Is everything alright?”

“Yu…Yuto…,”

Yuto’s eyes widened at the tremble in his friend’s voice and the way he was almost choking on his sobs.

“Keito, what’s wrong?” he asked, alert.

“My father and Keisuke...,”

Yuto felt his heart clench as Keito burst into hysterical sobs on the other end of the line. He could feel his own eyes sting.

No, it can’t be.

“Keito, calm down… where are you?”

“A..at ho..home,”

“I’ll be right over, just try to remain calm okay?”

“Yu..Yuto…thank you,”

Ending the call, Yuto immediately dialled Hikaru’s number.

 

 

 

There was complete silence in the Okamoto living room. The clock showed four am, yet the apartment was lit up completely, five boys seated at
a distance yet close enough.

Keito nodded as Inoo took the half-drunk glass of water from his hand. Hikaru stood up from his seat and walked up to Yuto who sat next to his distraught best friend.

“Now, tell us what happened?”

Keito gulped and took a deep breath.

“After we came back from our practice, I made myself dinner and retired early. It was around midnight when I got a call from my dad’s assistant,”

“And?” Hikaru coaxed, kneeling before the boy.

“He said that they never appeared for the train heading to Narita International Airport, and they missed their flight. Tracing the car, they found it…,”

“Keito?” Inoo asked anxiously as the younger man’s hands started shaking violently.

“They found the car in a ravine, way off course,”

“And… Okamoto-san? Keisuke-kun?”

Keito cast a teary glance in Yuto’s direction. Yuto’s heart sank.

“The car’s been mutilated and burnt completely; they started the search for any…any trace of their bod…,”

Yuto lunged towards him as Keito collapsed into uncontrollable sobs and pulled the older boy close.

Takaki looked away from the scene as Inoo sighed before giving Hikaru a helpless look.

“Why? Why did this happen, it’s not fair!” Keito wailed, tightening his grip around Yuto, who bit his lip, failing to hold back his own tears.

Keisuke

Images from his dream flashed before his eyes.

Why did I see something like that?

The next ten minutes, which seemed more like an eternity was spent in silence broken only by Keito’s sobs.

Yuto stood up immediately, a surge of dizziness making his guts clench. Keito looked up at him confused. Just then, the phone rang.

Keito lunged for the receiver.

“Hello?”

Yuto dropped his body back onto the couch, holding himself close and keeping his eyes shut. He couldn’t see Hikaru’s concern at his behavior but his eyes snapped open as he heard the words tumble out of Keito’s mouth along with the strange tone of his voice.

“Who…who the hell are you?”


~*~

Chapter 17: Fate

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“What’s the matter Hikaru-kun?”

The boy lifted his bleary eyes to find Mukoda and Maria-san looking down at him concerned.

“Let the boy be, can’t you see he’s exhausted!”

Both ladies ignored Hiroshi-san’s order from the kitchen and practically hovered around the boy seated on a stool with his head on the counter, examining him intently.

“Seems like you’ve been losing sleep,” Mukoda commented with an air of mystery. Maria-san nodded in agreement.

“What’s the matter Yaotome, girlfriend trouble?” she snapped poking his ribs. Hikaru flinched and gave her a scowl.

“That does seem to be the case,” she concluded.

“Excellent deduction my dear,” Maria-san said with an appreciative nod of her head.

“Oii, Conan, Kindaichi, buzz off will ya!” Honjo snapped before placing a mug of steaming coffee in front of Hikaru.

“I’m fine, just had a rough night,” Hikaru replied, failing to stifle a yawn. He rolled his eyes at the two gasps behind him but choked on his coffee as he heard Mukoda scream.

“What the hell is wrong with you woman!” Hikaru exclaimed rounding upon her but froze as he spotted the source of her exaggerated reaction.

Yabu bit his lip and looked down, hands behind his back like a child caught doing something wrong. People were still staring at the hyperventilating Mukoda.

There was a strange silence between them before Maria grabbed Mukoda and Honjo, dragging them into the kitchen with superhuman strength.

“Ya…bu?” Hikaru croaked, finally finding his voice. His eyes were widened in disbelief. The way the older man’s lips twisted in such a familiar smile, his eyes becoming sparkling slits on his face. How could he have not recognized him in the first place?

“Hi,” Yabu replied with a shy wave.

“Hisashiburi,”

~*~


“Are you sure about this Inoo-chan?” Keito asked a little awkwardly. Inoo looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile.

“While the police investigate last night’s phone call, I don’t think it is safe for you to be by yourself,”

“But, won’t your family mind… me staying over at your place that is,”

Inoo shook his head.

“They don’t really care, besides, you being here by yourself worrying about a man calling you up to demand ransom for your father and brother and those annoying detectives hovering around you like vultures, not my cup of tea,”

Keito smiled slightly, feeling a bit at ease. He had spent the entire night crying over the call and secretly dreaded to spend another minute in that apartment by himself.

“Yo!”

Inoo rolled his eyes as he spotted Daiki leaning against a lamp post.

“What do you want?” he snapped. He threw his gaze upon the road, searching for his car that had yet to arrive.

“I’m stalking you,”

Inoo glared at Daiki, whose gaze was fixed upon his IPod.

“And why Arioka-san, are you doing that?”

Keito stifled a chuckle as Daiki beamed.

“I’m in love,”

Inoo stiffened as Keito’s jaw dropped. Daiki started laughing.

“With you music Inoo-san, I’m a big fan,”

Inoo rolled his eyes.

“In a day?” he asked raising an eyebrow. Daiki nodded enthusiastically.

“Can I please stalk you?” he asked, eyes pleading.

Inoo blinked.

“You’re actually asking for permission?” he asked in disbelief.

“I know my values well,” Daiki chirruped, defending himself.

Inoo was finding it hard to digest. Luckily, he didn’t have any more time as a slender black limousine came to a stop next to him.

An elder in a fine suit stepped out of the car and opened the door with a swift bow. Inoo nodded.

He looked back at Daiki and Keito who were gaping at him.

“Tatsuya, this is Keito, he’ll be staying with us for now,”

Tatsuya gave Keito a graceful bow before taking his bag from him.

“Want to come over for lunch Ari-chan?” Inoo asked with a hint of slyness in his voice. Daiki, mouth still agape and too shocked to even acknowledge the use of his radio name nodded dumbly.

He waved a hand towards the open door of the limo.

“Get in.”

~*~


Ryutaro frowned at the message on his phone.

Hamsterman, this is an emergency, meet me at the usual spot.

Little Squirrel


He seated himself on the park bench, breathing in the fresh air. It was a beautiful morning, but still too early for the park to be crowded.

It was a weekday after all.

Come to think of it, he was supposed to be at school, but thanks to ‘his Highness’ and his ‘emergency’, he had to skip it.

It was surprising though, that he just used his normal nickname minus all the extra frills. He grins as he remembered the last message he had gotten. That boy had addressed himself as the Most Magnificent, Gracious, Supreme, Ultimately Gifted, Undoubtedly Handsome, not so little, Little Squirrel.

It was tough, he thought, to be the back dancer of a total self-obsessed diva.

“I’m not a total self-obsessed diva,”

Ryutaro swore he felt his heart spring out of his chest.

“What the hell Chinen, stop acting like you can read my mind!” he exclaimed as the shorter boy plopped down next to him. Chinen smirked.

Chinen smirked.

“But I can read your mind,” he replied simply. Ryutaro rolled his eyes.

“So, what was the major emergency?” Ryutaro asked irritated. Chinen loosened the tie around his neck and leaned back into the bench. His eyes closed, his face seemed to bear a rather solemn air and it made Ryutaro uncomfortable.

“Keisuke,”

Ryutaro’s eyes widened at the mention of their mutual friend.

“He supposedly left for Korea yesterday,” he spoke, a slight bitterness to his tone. Chinen sighed.

“Have you watched the news?”

Ryutaro shook his head.

“Nah, me and Shintaro had a fight over which channel to watch and we ended up cracking the screen,”

Chinen rolled his eyes.

“There was a car crash yesterday, the media has yet to announce the identity of the passengers,”

“So?”

“Akanishi-san, my manager and Okamoto-san’s assistant showed up to the studio in the morning looking like he hadn’t slept for days before shutting himself in a meeting with the higher ups, I have a bad feeling,”

“You don’t suspect that Keisuke was in that car do you?” Ryutaro spluttered, worry overtaking his features.

Chinen looked at him sharply.

“Something is definitely wrong because I once overhead Akanishi-san droning on about Okamoto-san and his rumored connection with a Yakuza clan,”

Ryutaro’s big eyes bulged at the mention of the term Yakuza.

“If Keisuke is in some kind of trouble because of that, then we’re going to rescue him,”

Ryutaro gaped.

“We? Rescue Keisuke? From the Yakuza?”

“You actually sound dumber than usual you know?” Chinen snapped. Ryutaro scowled.

“Do you even know what you’re saying Chii? How will two teenagers go against gangsters who thrive on the blood of the innocent!”

“Stop playing your stupid games Ryutaro, they’re gangs and criminals, not vampires!”

“But still, do you even what a Yakuza clan is like?”

Ryutaro was taken aback as Chinen got to his feet abruptly, his back to him.

“I was 9 when they took me from my family, just because one of my dad’s young cousin owed them money,”

Ryutaro stared at the boy, completely dumbfounded.

“I probably don’t know how it works, or what their principles are, but I know I wasn’t the only one who fell victim due to other’s mistakes,”

Chinen clenched his fingers into a fist as Takaki’s face flashed in front of his eyes.

“All I know is that I will do all that is in my power, to protect those I care about from suffering the same fate.”


~*~

Notes:

sorry took so long to update! Expect very regular ones from now on :) Thank you for reading!

Chapter 18: My Child

Notes:

double update for today :)

Chapter Text


Okamoto Kenichi remembers it clearly…that quaint little town.

It had been a pretty little suburb with its cool breeze and narrow roads that went rolling through the vast rice fields. It's damp riverbanks hosted an assortment of wildflowers, sprouting out mischievously from the soil. The Sakura trees stood magnificently upon the ground and rained blossoms upon those that graced the path beneath it. That one bridge, that all school children crossed on their way home.

And that boy…he would never forget that boy

That boy was just like his hometown; bursting with energy, eyes shining with mischief, smile brimmed with immeasurable bliss.

He was a happy child, a beautiful child…

He couldn’t remember why of all places, he would be called to this place. He was a man who had traveled the world; France, Germany, Korea. It was a part of his job… scouting for talent that would embrace his homeland with glory.

But when his employer had assigned him this little town and a certain 8-year-old who seemed as ordinary as any sun-wrecked, soccer-loving kid, he found himself as bemused as ever. Maybe this was the company’s desperation showing. With debts piling up to the knees and no back up from a weak economy, the company’s only choice to thrive would have been a magnanimous debut of a young talent.

He was good at his job, being an ex-artist himself… he knew he would dig out gold even in a desert.

When he offered the boy a spot in a magazine shoot for kids, his parents had been overjoyed, the child though was indifferent.

It only took that one shoot though for him to realize the boy’s potential. The camera loved him, and he loved the camera in return. His smile was dazzling, demeanor charming, and his eyes sparkled with an unsung determination to prove himself. The boy even turned out to be mature beyond his years and although bearing no definite musical talent… he was an exceptionally quick learner.

It was then he realized… he had found a diamond in the rough… the salvation for his dying company…

It was a mistake though…everything had been a mistake. He had known from the start that his boss had had bad terms with a certain Yakuza clan, yet he had never guessed that he would be pulled into the chaos and become a reluctant bystander as his company suffered because of his boss’s wrongdoings.

And that little boy, their most important talent… in a shocking term of events, would become their target…

Kenichi doesn’t remember how long he had been struggling against the binds on his wrist. The cords cut into his flesh and the crate behind his back was already making him sore. He tried to remain as silent as possible though, 5 of his kidnappers were seated around a table close by, engrossed in their Poker game.

He turned his head slightly and felt his eyes tear at the sight of the body curled next to him. Keisuke was still unconscious, but his thin T-shirt and jeans did nothing to protect him from the cold of the dark and damp warehouse.

He was clutching a badge in one of his hands.

Kenichi stifled a guilt-ridden sob but could not hold back a tear.

He did not deserve this… Keisuke did not deserve to be punished like this.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, eyes fixed on the sleeping boy.

“I’m sorry for making you suffer my child, for keeping you away from the family that would have loved you right, for thrusting you in a world that would tarnish your innocence, a world that tested your patience, your strength… the goodness that you hold within,”

“I’m sorry, for taking away from you what was rightfully yours and not compensating you well for it, I’m sorry for using you for my own advantage, my own protection…”

He shifted closer to the boy, eyes never leaving the peacefulness of his face.

“I really am sorry… Ryosuke.”

Chapter 19: The Hollowness Within

Notes:

Finishing this fic here because I don't want to leave anything abandoned but my goodness its been years. Sorry! This is actually a completed fic and those who followed me on LJ probably have read it all. New readers are more than welcome to stay :)

Chapter Text

 

Keito kept his eyes closed, reveling in the peacefulness of Inoo’s music. The cushions beneath his head felt like clouds, and breathing in, he could smell the fragrance of fresh daisies, dripping with moisture.

It felt like heaven…

It pained him, the anxiety of not knowing the state and whereabouts of two of his most precious people and the frustration of his helplessness made it even harder to fight against the mental fatigue.

And so he gave in completely to the intoxicating melody, feeling himself falling through a tunnel of no gravity where there was nothing but the music and hazy dreams.

He let himself be carried into a state of complete solitude.

It almost felt like a trance.

And within this state of semi-consciousness, he could visualize a certain day from his past. The surroundings and the voices in the back were vague and incomprehensible, but the figure standing before him, a 10-year-old boy with the purest of innocence upon his features swam into his vision with the sharpness of reality.

It had been almost 7 years since he was introduced to his new little brother. There wasn’t much difference in their age, by a few weeks in fact, yet the little boy had regarded him as ‘Ni-chan’ since the very first day. He had been a strange boy, barely 10, with no recollection of his past except for the name he had been given.

“He’s your responsibility from now Keito, will you take good care of him?”

He needn’t another minute to think…too long had he bore his loneliness…

His father had a life too busy to share…

His mother had left him not long before…

He had reached out his hand with a little hesitancy, afraid of disappointment, afraid of rejection…

But his eyes had widened as he felt the warmth of the other’s fingers around his and had seen the reassuring smile.

It was if the boy had seen through him…seen through his pain…the emptiness he felt within.

He had reached for him…but now he felt as if he had been caught instead.

“Ore wa Keisuke dess…Ni-chan.”


Daiki smiled at the boy on the canapé before gently placing the quilt over him. He then tip toed over to the center of the large chamber, where Inoo was seated before a magnificent grand piano, his fingers dancing lazily upon the ivory keys.

His gaze drifted around the marble-floored room; starting from the large window with the elegant curtains, the oriental vases holding in bouquets of innocent daisies, the Victorian furniture and the crystal chandelier to finally end at the tousled haired boy in a white shirt and baggy jeans seated beneath its shimmering crystals: the heir to a powerful business empire.

“You’re kind of frightening you know?”

Inoo did not stop playing, however, his lips tugged slightly to one side.

“How so?” he asked, amusement in his voice.

Daiki took a deep breath, trying hard to drown the feeling of great insignificance in the splendor of his surroundings.

“You’ve hypnotized that poor boy into a coma!” he exclaimed, eyes wide, hands in the air.

Inoo rolled his eyes.

“He’s asleep, and at peace, now please keep your voice down you idiot,”

Daiki pouted and crossed his arms. Somehow, that lone boy made him feel at ease, even in this great Manor.

He continued watching the pianist indulged in his craft, eyes focused on the way the slender fingers moved ever so gracefully, without a flaw. He frowned though, as he spotted something visible from beneath the edges of Inoo’s right sleeve. It was like a soft, pink gash across his wrist.

His eyes widened as he realized what it was.

A scar?

~*~

 

Chapter 20: His Smile

Chapter Text

 

Keisuke cried but no one heard.

His voice was muffled by the cloth around his mouth, body constrained by ropes…yet he did his best to struggle against the holds…screaming as he watched his father being assaulted without mercy.

“You really think you could hide forever eh Kenichi?”

The ruffians halted in their activity and looked at the man seated on the table nearby. He had an appearance that contrasted starkly with his surroundings; a calm face, steel tinted spectacles, a fine suit, and tie.

He got to his feet and approached the slouched figure on the ground, his leather shoes clacking off the cemented floor.

“I remember, you were there in the office as my predecessor negotiated a deal with your old employer years back,”

“I had thought you an honest and intelligent man, unlike your impudent ex-boss,”

“Now, the old man has gotten himself missing and untraceable, leaving you to pay for the money he snagged from my client,”

Keisuke frowned. By the client, did he mean the Yakuza?

“You tried to do the same I see; you entertainers are pretty apt in your vanishing acts,”

The man smiled smugly as the others laughed. Keisuke kept his anxious gaze fixed upon his father now bent low and clutching his stomach.

“If you plan to kill me, do it, but let my Idol go,” Kenichi muttered in a voice so hoarse and pained that it made Keisuke's heart ache.

Takahara chuckled, shaking his head.

“No, no Okamoto-san, it’s not going to be that easy,”

“Takahara-san, let him go,” Kenichi repeated severely.

The man in the suit, Takahara-san looked over at Keisuke and smirked, sending shivers down his spine.

“If I do that Okamoto-san, how do you expect us to be able to get those 3 billion yen back?”

Keisuke’s eyes widened. 3…3 billion yen?

“He has nothing to do with this!” Kenichi bellowed only to receive a powerful punch across his jaw. Keisuke wailed, the ropes leaving marks on his skin as he struggled to break free.

Takahara raised a hand to halt the man who had delivered the assault before walking over to the bound and gagged boy.

Keisuke flinched as he heard the click of a gun being unlocked and placed upon his temple. His heart was throbbing painfully in his chest as the situation dawned upon him.

Am I going to die?

“My my, this is your old assignment all over again huh Kenichi-kun?”

Keisuke watched in bewilderment as his father’s eyes fell upon him and he saw in them pure fear.

“What was that boy’s name again Kenichi-kun? Yamada…Ryosuke…right?”

Kenichi turned away, scowling. Keisuke felt the world spin around him.

Yamada? Yuto-kun’s Yamada?

Could it be?

“What happened to that poor little boy again?” Takahara asked with a tone of pleasant curiosity.

Keisuke stared at his father, in disbelief of his luck and hoping desperately for an answer.

“He was shot dead,”

Kenichi’s curt reply caught Keisuke off guard. But the information itself cut through his heart like a knife.

No, he promised…he made a promise…he had to bring Yamada back to Drmmerboy…he had to!

His tiny ray of hope…gone. This was too much to take.

“Ara ara…poor thing, but…his body wasn’t found I heard…swept away into the sea was it?”

Kenichi shot Takahara a murderous glare, but he froze as he saw him holding a picture close to his own face, yet his eyes were fixed
upon Keisuke.

It hit him…hard.

Does Takahara know? But how? It had been a foolproof plan!

“He was under your charge right Kenichi-kun? I hope you compensated his family well for their loss,”

“What the hell are you trying to do Takahara?”

The man chuckled slightly before getting to his knees next to Keisuke who looked away, feeling uncomfortable with being stared at so
intently.

“I’ve been tracking you ever since your employer disappeared Okamoto, and my job won’t be done until the money has been repaid
with interest and the offender punished severely,”

“So punish me…but let the…,”

“Tanaka…no, Okamoto Keisuke-san is it?” Takahara asked pulling the cloth around Keisuke’s mouth off roughly.

Keisuke nodded hesitantly.

“It’s amazing, Kenichi-kun, that you would lose your young starlet to a kidnapping and murder, yet almost two years later, you, out of the blue would adopt a mysterious boy…an amnesiac,”

Keisuke stared at Takahara, stunned.

“You find yourself a new job, bring in your new son into the industry and become his manager,”

“Doing quite well aren’t you Keisuke-kun?” Takahara turned back to him with a cheery smile. Keisuke mustered up a bitter glare.

Takahara held up the picture in his hand and switched his gaze back and forth between it and Keisuke.

His smile widened.

“You’re lucky Okamoto, that you have enough friends in high places…and that there’s nobody left in Japan who actually knew Yamada
personally,”

"How do you expect to explain this to your 'so-called' son?"

Takahara threw the picture in his hand onto the floor before Keisuke whose dark brown eyes widened in disbelief.

It was a picture of a smiling little boy that resembled him. He frowned, this was him…except a little younger of course. Why did Takahara have this?

“See Keisuke-kun,” the man continued with a grin.

“You have Yamada Ryosuke’s smile.”

Chapter 21: Gathering

Chapter Text

 

It was silent save for the dripping of water from a leaking pipe somewhere in the deserted warehouse. The little amount of light squeezing in through the tiny windows all around gave little warmth to the two prisoners sitting right in the middle, tied back to back.

“Kei-,”

Kenichi frowned. Aside from the dull aches in his body, he found it even more painful to talk to his Idol...something that he had never had to face until now. They had been close, as manager-artist as well as father-son, even though the previous relationship had always dominated the latter.

It was awkward and he felt strangely…frightened. He did care…he did care what the boy would think about him after the shocking revelation, though he would have rather broken the news to him himself.

The trouble for the present though was…could he still call him Keisuke?

“I know, whatever it is, you must have a good explanation for it,”

Startled, he came out of his reverie and began fidgeting with the binds on his hands, growing anxious as they brushed against Keisuke’s cold ones.

“Are you alright?” he asked, worried.

“I’m just cold,” Keisuke replied rather weakly.

“I’m sorry…it’s all my fault,”

He heard Keisuke sigh.

“That’s why you were trying to whisk me off to Korea, so these guys won’t be able to catch us,”

Kenichi hummed a reply.

“Why?”

“Well, they don’t have enough power to reach into another country-,”

“No I mean why can’t I remember anything?”

Kenichi was silenced by the strain in the boy’s voice, uncertain on how to continue.

“How is it possible, that I’m an entirely different person, and I have no recollection of a life before…,”

“Before you woke up in that hospital?”

“It was a hospital?”

“Yes,”

Kenichi felt his heart break as he heard his Idol sniff.

“Why did you adopt me?”

“It was my fault Kei…Ryosuke,”

He felt the boy flinch at the name yet he continued. Too long had he delayed the matter.

“You became their target after you became my Idol…you almost got killed. When you didn’t show up for practice on a certain day I went out
searching for you…I did find you, floating in a river like a corpse,”

Keisuke’s eyes widened as he remembered the text on Drummerboy…Yuto’s blog.

My friend had fallen into the water…his body covered in crimson. He had been shot.

I did my best to find him. I asked people, I searched for his family but by then they had left Japan. When I grew older, I discovered to my horror that by police records, my friend was dead. He had been shot and his body then swept away by the waters of the river. It ended into the sea, and search parties could not locate his…body.

“I rushed you to a hospital where they managed to stabilize you, but you had lost too much blood and the cold river had done much damage, they managed to save your life, but you fell into a coma,”

“I had to hide you, so I secretly brought you to Tokyo where I surrendered you to a doctor friend of mine, I coaxed your family to leave the city…the country if possible, I knew with our disappearance, they would target our families,”

“Did they know?”

“Who?”

“My family, do they know I’m still…alive?”

“No,”

Keisuke fell quiet, Kenichi sighed deeply.

“You slept in that little private hospital for 16 months,”

Keisuke gasped.

“You…why didn’t you just let me go? It must’ve cost a lot to care for me,” he asked bewildered.

Kenichi smiled bitterly.

“What you had lost by then had already accounted to an amount I could never compensate for boy,”

Keisuke bit his quivering lip.

“I had gotten a new job by then, and I was earning enough,”

“And then one day…you woke up…like a new born…you knew nothing except how to breath,”

“I must have been a bother,” Keisuke mumbled, bringing his knees closer to his chest and burying his face on them.

“You and your smile had always been like sunshine, you warmed up to me and my son so quickly, you gave Keito the love and
companionship I had failed in giving, you became my hope for getting back onto my feet after falling from such a high position,”

“I was honored to give you my name,”

Kenichi stiffened as he heard no reply from behind him. Had he said too much?

“Keisuke?”

He reached out to grab hold of the other’s hands and frowned as he felt him trembling.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered as Keisuke broke down completely.


~*~


She was the lady of the Nakajima household, strong and firm and disciplined. She took pride in knowing that her presence in the family was
like the sun, whose gravity had the other three revolving around her like the planets in their orbits.

She maintained peace, she maintained order…

…and fed three hungry mouths three times a day.

As strong as she was, she had another side to her as well.

A side that was so fragile and delicate, that she would tear up when a heroine would suffer heart brake on television. She would cry secretly if her husband forgot their anniversary (after beating him up for committing such a sin)…and then laugh with joy upon discovering that he really hadn’t. She would proudly show off the mother’s day cards her boys had made for her and forget all about those Prada heels she had so badly wanted.

But the one thing, that greatly dampened her strength, her will power and her courage the most…was the sight of her happy-faced lanky teenage son crumpled on his bedroom floor, eyes glazed over.


~*~


“Have you lost your mind?”

Chinen stared back at the lanky boy with sheer determination, a feeble Ryutaro crouching behind him in fear.

Inoo, Keito and Daiki were all frozen at the door, as Hikaru watched the confrontation between Takaki and the adorable new comer in their practice room with mild interest.

“He’s my friend, and I want you to help me,”

“I don’t even know him,”

“You know me don’t you, shouldn’t that be enough?”

Takaki stared at the younger boy in disbelief. Chinen continued glaring.

He sighed. Why in the world was he so…cute?

“What’s the plan?” he breathed out, admitting defeat. Chinen stood for a good few minutes, completely stunned.

“Hold on, are we really talking about my brother here?” Keito voiced out in shock. Ryutaro gaped at him.

“Apparently,” Inoo replied with wonder.

“Takaki-nii!” Chinen cried tackling the older boy with force and sending them both onto the floor.

Hikaru wiped away an imaginary tear.

“Hold it!”

All eyes were now upon Inoo. He looked a little startled at the sudden attention, even though he had asked for it and stood gaping.

Daiki stared at him, holding back a chuckle.

“What, stage fright?” he said in a voice low enough to have reached both Keito and Inoo.

“So what’s the plan?” Hikaru asked interestedly, rubbing his palms together in anticipation.

Chinen bounced back to his feet.

“I know where Keisuke is,”

“You do?” Keito exclaimed rushing towards him. Chinen nodded.

“It was my manager’s idea, but since Keisuke can be so overly emotional and clueless and a dimwit at times, I had to do it to him too,”

“Do what?” Keito asked, trying to ignore the adjectives used to describe his sibling.

Chinen held up his hand to show them his wristwatch. It was a digital clock, with a tiny bar above the time display. It showed 4 digits.

“My watch is a pair; my manager has the other one. Mine is installed with a tracker and my manager gets my location in coordinates in the little bar at the top,”

“Wow,”

Ignoring the fact that Daiki, Hikaru and Ryutaro were now examining his gadget with sparkling eyes, he continued talking.

“The coordinates shown in my watch, are Keisuke’s coordinates,”

Keito’s eyes widened.

“I couldn’t get him a watch, but I managed to install a tracker in his glasses…he’s practically blind without them anyway and even with contacts on, he still keeps them with him,”

“Wouldn’t they have shattered in the car crash?” Ryutaro asked slightly horrified.

“You think they were still in the car when it plummeted into that ravine? I got my manager to do research on the driver and that man has criminal records,”

“Clever little squirrel,” Takaki gasped. Chinen smiled slightly.

“I did my homework, not just come up with something reckless, now let’s leave the Yakuza to the police and try to get Keisuke out of there, safe and sound by ourselves!”


~*~

Chapter 22: Completing the Circle

Chapter Text

 

“We’re going to look for what?”

“Provisions Inoo-chan, I can’t possibly embark on a rescue mission without provisions!” Hikaru exclaimed indignantly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“We’re going to a warehouse in Tokyo, not traveling across Middle Earth,” Ryutaro muttered annoyed. Hikaru ruffled his hair affectionately as they reached the door of his apartment.

“This sounds exciting doesn’t it?” Daiki piped up from the back. Inoo ignored him.


“By the way Hikaru-kun,” Ryutaro began pointing towards the door as the older boy began a flustered search of his pockets for his keys.

“What if we get lost in there?”

“Yeah, it’s a pigsty really, no offense Hika-chan,” Inoo added seriously. Hikaru stopped in his search momentarily and shot his best friend a glare.

“It’s just a little messy, why do you guys have to make so much of a fuss over it,” Hikaru huffed grabbing his hair in frustration after turning all his pockets inside out.

“We’re not making a fuss at all Hikaru, just pointing out your irresponsible nature in your otherwise flawless personality,”

“I’m not irresponsible!” Hikaru shouted aiming a kick at the door. It swung open.

“You…forgot to lock it,” Daiki guffawed as the others gaped.

Inoo stifled a laugh as Hikaru marched in with his head held high. He had only taken a few steps before the peculiarity of his surroundings struck him like a jolt of electricity. He froze and stared, trying to absorb what he was seeing.

“Is this…?” Inoo began, wide-eyed.

“-really your apartment?”

Hikaru’s eyes scanned the area; from the shine on the vinyl wood flooring, to the flowers in the vase on the little coffee table, nothing about his home seemed like… his. His clothes that were usually littered on the floor were folded neatly on his bed, visible through the open door.

The glass on his windows sparkled under the sunlight and the curtains were pulled to the side. There was no trash; empty bottles and jars, wrappers and scrap paper that usually littered the place. His eyes widened as he stared at the spotless kitchenette.

“This place…smells like…lavender?” Daiki mused, breathing in deep.

“Hikaru, did you get a housekeeper?” Inoo asked, stunned.

“The hell? Did you get a wife?” Ryutaro exclaimed.

“Oh, you’re back,”

Four pairs of eyes fell immediately upon the lanky boy leaning against the wall, swinging Hikaru’s keys around his fingers with an amused smile playing on his lips.

“Yabu?” Inoo began bewildered.

“What the hell is going on here?”

~*~


“Are you guys serious?”

“I know, it sounds far-fetched, but…I’m just too tired of sitting and waiting for news of dad and Keisuke and I want them back…now,”

“It’s going to be dangerous though,”

“They’re willing to risk their lives for my family…I don’t know if I will ever be able to repay them,”

Yuto sighed.

“Then, I’m coming with you guys,”

“But you’re mom just told me that you’re sick,”

“I’ll sneak out, and it’s no big of a deal, I just missed a few meals that’s all,”

Keito frowned.

“I don’t know Yuto,”

“Oh shut it, just tell me where you guys are and I’ll be there in a few minutes,”

“I guess, just come over to the studio,”

“Great, see you there!”

Keito stared at the phone as his friend hung up. There had been something really odd with his voice. He just hoped…that Yuto wasn’t doing
anything more reckless than what they were about to.

~*~


“Yuyan, when a young man gets a driver’s license, he actually does something with it,”

Takaki frowned.

“What’s wrong with Haruka-chan?”

Chinen cocked an eyebrow while Ryutaro stuffed his fist into his mouth.

“Are you seriously telling me…that you actually…named it?”

Takaki rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile on his face. Chinen narrowed his eyes, his laser vision scanning the old white and blue school bus.

“No way,” he snapped. Takaki hung his head. Ryutaro gave meek tugs to Chinen’s sleeve but stumbled backwards as the older boy exploded.

“THERE IS NO WAY I AM RIDING AN OLD SCHOOL BUS THAT SMELLS LIKE OLD MILK TO THE YAKUZA’S LAIR!”

“Now now Chinen-kun,”

The boy glared at Hikaru and his toothy-grin.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, now can they?”

And so, 7 boys clambered aboard the bus, flinching at the smell of spoilt milk, ignoring Inoo’s shriek as he sat upon a lollipop stuck to his seat and trying to contain themselves as they watched Takaki hauling a wailing Chinen aboard before making himself comfortable in the driver’s seat.

As the engine of the rickety vehicle was brought to life, Keito threw a concerned glance at the tall boy sitting next to him, head leaning against the window, and a small smile on his face.

“I bet he’s going to be surprised,”

Keito smiled slightly and nodded.

“He sure will be.”

~*~

Chapter 23: You Are My Sunshine

Chapter Text

 

Keisuke flinched and spluttered as the cold water thrown upon him felt like a rude slap to the face.

“Sorry for the sudden wake-up call,”

Kenichi glared at the smirk on Takahara’s face as he wrapped his fingers around his Idol’s shivering ones. He was sure the ropes around their legs and wrists would leave behind nasty marks once removed but at the moment, all he cared about was to get his hands around Takahara’s neck.

“There has been…a sudden change of plans,”

Keisuke’s eyes widened and Kenichi’s furrowed into a frown as they watched two men haul a huge barrel inside the warehouse before settling it not far from where they sat, still back to back. Tied to the barrel…were dynamites.

“Old fashioned I know, but my boss doesn’t like to waste money on these things,” Takahara informed them calmly, clearly enjoying the surge of fear reflected on the faces of his captives.

“Your company Kenichi-kun was shocked to hear of your past job and it’s…minor problems, however…they still seem to consider you and your adorable son an asset,”

“So…,” he continued plainly, getting no response from the two.

“They are delaying delivery of the money, seem to be very keen on negotiating further…you know what I think?”

Takahara walked closer, the sound of his shoes echoing in the silence.

“They’re trying to trace you, trying to pull a daring rescue right under my nose,”

Kenichi rolled his eyes. ‘As if that was even possible…’

“So, we’ve given them a new offer, a time limit of 4 hours to deliver the entire sum of 3 billion into a fake account I’ve established for this very purpose, from then, my men would get the money out and once it is in the hands of my client, there is nothing even the police can do about it,”

“And, in case you are wondering what we told them would happen to you after the time limit is up…,”

“That you’d kill us?” Kenichi spat. Takahara made a strange face, something close to feigned disappointment.

“There you go, ruining my surprise,”

Kenichi looked away uninterested. Keisuke was silent, eyes on the floor before him.

“But see, there is one thing that you probably haven’t guessed,”

The gate of the warehouse was opening, letting in a ray of light and the salty smell of the sea. They could see a large black car parked outside.

“The time limit, is actually 30 minutes from now…but, we’re not going to tell anyone…are we?”

Keisuke felt his breath catch in his chest as Takahara went on setting the timer attached to the bunch of dynamites.

“Don’t worry, when this baby blows, it would be a sight to see before you die,”

With a swift bow, Takahara and his men rushed towards the black vehicle, closing the gate behind them.

Kenichi began moving his hands, struggling against the binds. He wouldn’t have cared if it was only him, but the matter was completely different since Keisuke was involved.

In the suffocating silence and the redness of the glowing timer, there was a small thud and a crack that made him freeze.

“Keisuke, what did you do?” Kenichi asked, horrified at the sound.

“I had a…bad feeling,” Keisuke replied softly, staring at his broken spectacles and a crushed black tracker.


~*~


Ryutaro heaved a sigh and stared out of the window of the bus. Next to him, Chinen sat rather stiffly, staring at the GPS on his phone with admirable concentration. Keito seemed in a disturbed asleep on Yuto’s shoulder who was gazing out of the window, deep in thought. Hikaru and Inoo were playing Jan-Ken-Pon to distract themselves from the tension while Daiki and Yabu were glaring at Takaki who had his eyes fixed onto the road.

An elderly gentleman jogged passed Ryutaro’s window, giving him a little smile which Ryutaro returned. Not long after the man had jogged away, a young cyclist whizzed past, giving the bus a strange look.

“Takaki-kun, do you mind going just a tad bit faster?” Yabu asked rather impatiently.

“I’m already driving 45km/hour Yabu-kun!” Takaki replied outraged at the very thought.

An exclamation of great shock which rose to cries of utter despair pulled everyone’s attention towards the distressed Chinen.

“What’s wrong?” Ryutaro asked anxiously. Yuto and Keito had both been startled greatly by Chinen’s outburst.

“The tracker isn’t responding...I lost the signal!”

Keito came to stand next to him, frowning as Chinen held up his phone.

“You remember the coordinates don’t you? I’ll just use Google Earth™,” Daiki offered to pull out his own phone.

“It’s not just that,” Chinen gasped. He bit his lip.

“If Keisuke knows about the tracker, and somehow if he was the one who deactivated it, then…something could be very very wrong,”

“He might just have broken his glasses,” Keito suggested. Chinen shook his head and clutched his chest.

“I have this very bad feeling Keito-san,”

The air in the bus was thick with a poignant silence before Yabu got to his feet and made his way towards Takaki.

“Let me drive,”

“WHAT?” Takaki and Hikaru exclaimed simultaneously.

“There is no way I’m handing over Haruka-chan to anyone else,” Takaki retorted possessively. Daiki rolled his eyes.

“You can’t drive a bus!” Inoo and Hikaru cried out this time before looking at each other in surprise.

Yabu sighed and held onto Takaki’s hand with force.

“Get up now, I won’t put a scratch on her, promise,”

Takaki frowned.

“Never overlook intuition Takaki-kun,” Daiki said seriously.

Takaki heaved a sigh before stepping on the brake.

“Be careful please,” he muttered getting off the driver’s seat. Yabu gave him a reassuring smile.

The minute Yabu made himself comfortable on the driver’s chair, those who were standing clambered back immediately to their seats,
feeling slightly anxious for reasons they couldn’t really point out.

Maybe it was the way Yabu had ran his eyes over the gear and the steering sternly before holding onto the wheel firmly.

Maybe it was Chinen’s despair or Keito’s anxiety.

They couldn’t really tell.

But their fears were soon confirmed though, as the bus was soon cruising down the road at a relatively frightening speed with a traffic police officer on their tail, sirens on.

~*~


“I’m…sorry, for all of this,”

Kenichi sighed as he felt the boy lean against him but frowned as he felt the heat from his body.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice cracking as he realized that the younger boy was definitely not.

“There is one person…one person from Ryosuke-my past here in this country and…I know him,”

Kenichi frowned. His voice was weak, and he was literally gasping for air.

“Who?” he asked, his voice a soft whisper.

Keisuke’s eyes lingered on the timer, 15 minutes glowing on the display. He just wished it would be over quickly, the anxiety of their
impending doom was murder enough. He sighed, palms closing upon the tiny shard of glass from the lenses of his spectacles.

“Nakajima…Yuto,”

“Keito’s best friend?”

“Yes…he’s looking for me…,”

“Didn’t he… recognize you?”

“I don’t exactly look almost like I did before I became Keisuke, and I’m supposed to be dead right?”

“You said he was looking for you?”

“He hopes…but I think deep inside, he has his doubts and that might be the biggest thing that is causing him to not connect me with his
childhood friend, regardless of the likeness of our physical features,”

Kenichi frowned as he felt the younger take in deep, shuddering breaths. He could feel a slight tugging on his binds but he paid no heed.

“Kei…Ryosuke, we’ll get out of this somehow, don’t worry…,”

Kenichi stared at his hands as he managed to pull them apart, the rope slipping to the floor. He quickly undid his legs and turned around to catch Keisuke as the boy collapsed.

In his hands, he clutched a small shard of glass.

The timer showed that they had 7 minutes.

“Keisuke, Keisuke wake up,”

The boy groaned and stirred but didn’t open his eyes. His skin was burning.

Kenichi scanned the only entrance; the closed gate.

“How the hell do I open that?”

Keisuke tried to blink but his eyelids were too heavy. He heard sounds, loud sounds of metal upon metal and a loud engine. He forced his
eyes to open a little and watched in disbelief as the gate slid upwards with a clank, blinding him temporarily.

5 minutes…

He remembered voices, police sirens, arms around him, supporting him and leading him into the light.

He remembered being placed on a rather uncomfortable seat and a sudden blast of wind.

There was a really loud sound and more noise. People were shouting and screaming and the seat that he was on seemed to be
moving…it made him dizzy.

“Keisuke-kun?”

The voice was strong and clear and very near. With the little bit of strength that he had remaining, he opened his eyes. The face that looked
down upon him seemed to have a glow, illuminated by the sunlight coming from behind him. He saw fear on his features, which immediately softened as their gazes locked and then his dry thin lips curved into a relieved smile.

“It’s okay Keisuke-kun, you’re safe now,” he said kindly.

Keisuke stared at him, bleary-eyed and weary.

His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. His mind was screaming;

‘Tell him, tell him now…he’s the only link to your past…’

“Keisuke-kun?” the other boy asked, bewildered at Keisuke’s pained expressions. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw a tear slip from
the corner of his eye.

“I’m okay now,” Keisuke croaked, sighing deeply.

“Thanks…Yuto.”

~*~

Chapter 24: Recovery

Chapter Text

 

“So, this is a Snag?”

Yuto shook his head furiously.

“No, no this is a Snare,”

“Snare?”

He nodded, cautiously aware of the young Idol scrutinizing his drum set through his red-rimmed spectacles.

It had been a strange turn of events though. Keisuke, from being cold and resentful towards him before had somehow become extremely friendly. Not that he minded. The kid looked better with that smile on his face and Yuto felt somehow at ease with him around.

He was also, of course, aware that Keisuke knew his deepest darkest secrets, but his resilience in keeping them to himself made him like the boy more.

However, the fact that Keisuke was still a star that had thousands of screaming fans made him rather conscious, especially when he had showed up with Keito, wanting to see the band perform.

“Um, Keisuke, are you sure this is fine? Dad won’t mind will he?”

Keisuke looked up at his brother, his eyes magnified by the thick lenses, giving him a strange anime look.

“I’m not bothering am I?” he asked innocently, hands behind his back, a sad pout on his lips.

“No no of course not!” Keito and Yuto burst out in a chorus.

Keisuke grinned.

The door of the basement room opened up to reveal an arguing pair and a boy with a huge backpack and headphones around his neck bouncing in on their heels.

“Say Arioka don’t you have school?” Hikaru asked completely ignoring Inoo’s “It would have been easier if you weren’t so thick!” and staring at the younger boy in mild curiosity.

“Nope, I’m on term brake,”

“So…you need to be here?” Hikaru asked again, picking up his guitar.

“Oh Hikaru, leave it, it’s not like he’s interfering or anything,” Inoo snapped turning on his keyboard.

Daiki stared at him for a few seconds before a sheepish smile graced his lips.

“So, you don’t mind me staying?” Daiki chirruped happily. Inoo gave him a glare.

“Shut it, or I’ll take Yuto’s drumsticks and gut you alive,” he hissed. Daiki gaped. Yuto clutched his precious sticks close to himself
protectively. Keisuke cowered behind Keito who patted his head in the reassurance of his safety.

“Don’t mind him, he doesn't really mean it,” Hikaru sighed giving Daiki a sympathetic shrug.

“Can we please start practice now, I have to be somewhere,” Inoo snapped. Hikaru gave him a look.

“It’s important,” Inoo added with a pleading look. Hikaru sighed and pulled out his guitar pick, readjusting the strap around him.

“Where the heck is Takaki?”

“I’m right here!”

Keisuke jumped at the voice that came from a corner of the room near him. Takaki pushed himself off the couch reluctantly and dragged himself all the way to the microphone in the middle of the room.

“Okay, everyone ready?”

Daiki settled himself onto the floor and smiled as Keisuke scurried over to sit next to him.

Keisuke looked at him curiously as he pulled out a video camcorder and started recording as the band began their music.

The boys seemed a little embarrassed in having an audience for the first time but there was no doubt about it, they were a talented bunch.

The song was not so long and when it was finally over, Keisuke started clapping enthusiastically, making even the reclusive looking Takaki grin.

“Did you like it?” Keito asked bouncing over to Keisuke who nodded viciously.

“Ok people, may I have your attention for just a little bit?”

All eyes were on Daiki as the boy got to his feet.

“I have a proposal for you all,”

Hikaru stared, Inoo arched an eyebrow.

“As some might know that I am a DJ and I have my own show-,”

“You do?” Hikaru exclaimed incredulously. Inoo rolled his eyes.

“I would like your permission to let me become your official promoter,”

Yuto strode over to stand next to Hikaru both sharing a comprehensive look.

“The best way to be noticed as a real band by both companies who could hire you and to get fans is to get your voices out to the world and
what is a better way than the radio?”

“Yo man are you serious?” Hikaru started as Yuto shook him excitedly.

Daiki nodded with a smile.

“I already talked to my producer and he’s very much into the idea,”

“Wait, what’s in it for you?” Takaki snapped suspiciously.

Daiki shot at him what seemed like a glare.

“I’ll be helping somebody out-,”

Takaki crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. Daiki clenched his fists.

“Fine, I’ll have a good resume when I graduate…happy?”

Takaki subtly smiled in triumph.

“So, are you guys in?”

Hikaru looked at Yuto who was grinning, then at Keito who seemed nervous yet was nodding his head in agreement, at Takaki who shrugged and then at Inoo who refused to make eye contact.

“I guess it’s a good idea!”

Yuto jumped, punching the air before wrapping his arms around a beaming Hikaru. Keisuke smiled, effectively hiding the strange burning in his chest.

“Great, you guys have 3 weeks to finalize things, then you’re going on air-,”

Daiki watched Inoo storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“What’s with him?” Takaki queried, cocking his head towards the door.

“Um…mood swings?” Hikaru answered receiving a whack on the head from Yuto. Daiki narrowed his eyes.

“I’ll see you guys later.”

~*~


Inoo stomped his way along the sidewalk, fists clenched, tears streaming down his cheeks, before reaching the crossing. He didn’t care if
people were staring.

The hell with them!

How could his friends be so insensitive? All they cared about was that band. He wouldn’t even have joined if Hikaru hadn’t begged him to. He didn’t have time. There was so much on his shoulders. They wouldn’t understand!

He wrapped his fingers around his wrist, feeling the lump of the healed cut he had once made underneath them.

Nobody could.

He began moving his feet across the road, keeping his face on the ground.

“Inoo-kun!”

He yelped as he felt a forceful shove and cried out in pain as he hit the hard gravel of the pavement. There was a screech and a thump and he felt as if his heart had stopped.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position and turned, ignoring the ache in his body. He gasped in horror.


“Daiki!”

~*~

Chapter 25: Lament of the Innocent

Chapter Text

Yuto yawned. Who’d ever thought going to education fairs would be this tiring. He cramped the many university brochures into his bag before pulling out the keys and unlocking the front door. Taking his shoes off at the entrance, he called out a weary ‘Tadaima’.

The voice that greeted back ‘Okaeri’ though, caught him completely off guard.

“Ke-ke-ke-Keisuke-kun?” he stammered, shocked at the boy beaming at him from the living room. He had on a dark green apron over his jersey and jeans and was holding a bowl of chopped vegetables in his hands.

“What are you…doing here?”

“Kei-chan, I’m so sorry you have to do this!”

Yuto frowned as his mother appeared from the kitchen, patting the boy on the head. He cocked an eyebrow.

Kei-chan?”

“No problem aunty, you just rest, I’m glad to be able to help out,” Keisuke replied cheerfully. He gave Yuto another bright smile before bouncing into the kitchen.

“Yuto! You didn’t tell me your friends with THE Tanaka Keisuke?”

Yuto watched his mother drop onto the couch and stretch.

“I still don’t get it,” he said bewildered plopping down next to her.

She looked back at him, amused.

“I was sick this morning…I’m fine now,” she added quickly at the worry on her son’s face.

“Keisuke-kun called me and asked for you, he said he was a relative of Keito’s. I told him you were out but will be back soon so he then
asked if he could come over and I said sure, if he’s your friend than why not, not to mention the courtesy he showed by asking for a visit.
Imagine my shock when TANAKA KEISUKE showed up at my doorstep!”

“I thought he might bratty, being a popular Idol and all but he was ever so polite, he immediately guessed that I was unwell and offered to help me around the house, I ended up watching television on this couch as he tidied up the entire living room and dining room and is now making lunch,”

“And you let him?” Yuto gasped outraged. She shrugged.

“I told him it was fine, but the dear was so insistent, his mother must be very lucky,”

Yuto fell silent at this.

“He doesn’t have one mom,” he muttered getting to his feet and heading for the kitchen, leaving his mother dumbstruck behind.

His stomach grumbled at the aroma that greeted him as he entered the kitchen. Keisuke looked at him and gave him a soft smile.

“I’m sorry to drop by like this, Keito was busy studying and he wanted to give you some score sheets for the next practice, so I offered to bring them to you myself,”

Yuto nodded as he watched Keisuke diligently stir the curry in the pot.

“I’m really sorry for this,” Yuto said apologetically, bowing.

Keisuke frowned.

“Nobody forced me into this Yuto-kun, there’s no need to apologize,” he said seriously, turning the stove off and removing the apron.

Yuto blushed as his stomach rumbled a little too loud. Keisuke chuckled.

“Lunch’s ready Drummerboy,” he said playfully. Yuto watched the boy stride to his mother who thanked him affectionately.

“You’re leaving?” Yuto asked, a little disappointed as he watched Keisuke pull on his large cap.

“Yep, the scores are in that file on the coffee table, I need to get back home and make sure Keito doesn’t intoxicate himself with coffee and
whatnot,”

Yuto smiled, that was very possible.
“But you made the food, won’t you even have a bite?” Mrs Nakajima exclaimed. Keisuke shook his head and bowed.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, but I really need to get home, thanks for having me over,”

The mother and son watched the boy put on his shoes and exit the house with a final bow.

“You know,”

Yuto looked at his mother who had a strange look on her face.

“Something about his presence, reminded me of someone,”

Yuto looked at her confused.

“Who?”

She bit her lip and turned away, a sad smile on her lips.

“Ryosuke.”'

~*~


Daiki opened his eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the light. He could hear faint beeping sounds over his own heavy breathing.

“Where…?” he croaked before realizing how dry his throat was. He tried to move, but every part of his body began hurting badly. He shifted his head to the side, ignoring the throbbing and tried to recognize the place he was in.

It was a large room with a large desk, shelves laden with books and an electronic keyboard near the glass door leading to the balcony. The lacy curtains were caught in the wind and he could hear the sound of rushing water from outside. He was on the large bed in the center, tubes and wires attaching his body to the monitors and other devices. He watched the clear liquid in the drip and its course into his body before realizing that there was an oxygen mask on his face. He took it off.

There were various small doors built into the wall, excluding the large main door. One of them clicked open. He watched with surprise as Inoo walked out in black pants and a large towel around him. He gasped as he spotted the multiple scars all over his right hand before the skinny boy pulled on a sweater.

Inoo then walked over to him, eyes on the monitor on the wall. With all the strength he could muster, he lifted his hand and tugged on the boy’s sleeves to get his attention. Inoo jumped and immediately sat down next to him.

“Daiki, how are you feeling?” he asked anxiously.

“Did I fall off a horse or something?” Daiki croaked with a frown. Inoo smiled.

“No, you saved my life,”

“Oh,”

Daiki fingered the bandage around his head.

“I’m not going to die am I?”

Inoo rolled his eyes.

“No, don’t worry, my own personal doctor and his staff are in charge of you and they said that you are only suffering from minor injuries and a concussion which has already been taken care of, other than there is nothing to worry about,”

“Am I in your room?”

“Yes, it was my fault, so it’s my responsibility to make sure you heal well,”

Daiki yawned.

“I’m thirsty,”

Inoo nodded before taking three long strides to his desk and pouring Daiki a glass of water from a jug. Retracing his steps, he helped the younger boy sit up with his back against the headboard and watched the boy gulp down the liquid gratefully.

“How long have I been out cold?” Daiki asked as Inoo took the glass from him.

“Two days, your parents were here the whole morning, they just left. Hikaru found out too and he sends you his best wishes, he wanted to come here and beat me into a pulp personally for letting this happen to you but…,”

“He was busy?”

Inoo placed the glass onto the desk, the two surfaces clanking against each other.

“My father doesn’t approve of him being here,” he sighed.

Daiki blinked.

“See the thing is, Hikaru, he comes from a really troubled household. He left home as soon as he was done with high school and came to
Tokyo to look for a job,”

“That’s why…he lives alone?”

“Yeah,”

Daiki sighed. Hikaru seemed such a cheerful guy.

“You know, I’ve known Hikaru ever since I transferred into his middle school years back. We were both loner types so we got along really well. He was a complete prankster, terrorizing both teachers and the rest of the students and I was the nerdy goody-two-shoes. People found us both rather weird and kind of intimidating somehow since we were still close friends despite our many differences. But then there came this phase where I kind of became rebellious?”

Daiki bit back a gasp as Inoo pulled up his entire sleeve himself to reveal the multiple attempts to end his own life.

“My father held Hikaru responsible for all of this, he thought it was his influence on me, and to tell you the truth, of all the things that were happening to Hikaru at home, he never made a single complaint about it. He lived his life cheerfully, always looking forward to a better tomorrow, but it was me, I was the one crumbling,”

“I was literally raised by my older cousin after my parents separated. It was a bitter divorce. The business politics was affecting our home and my mom couldn’t tolerate it anymore, my father’s ambition and all the people around him, those random relatives who only showed their faces on parties and funerals tore our home apart,”

“My mother took my little sister and left for Canada, where her sister lives with her husband. She wanted to take me along, but my father refused, told her that I was his heir, and I would become just like him but now that she has left, he refuses to see my face because it reminds him of her,”

“He wants me to go into business but I am studying architecture just because my cousin stood up for me, I’m supposed to start MBA classes as soon as I get my degree for the sake of my father,”

“I want to be a part of that band, they are more my family than this mansion and its people. I love music, I love being a part of a group, I love the people who have made me feel so much at home it hurts to leave that little room,”

“But you see Daiki, I can’t, it’s impossible, and I’m afraid my father might do something to Hikaru if he finds out I am doing something like this instead of focusing on taking over his empire!”

Inoo fell on his knees next to the bed, breathing heavy from the outburst.

“Does Hikaru know?”

Inoo shook his head.

“Then, why did you tell it to me, of all people,”

“I managed to get a hold of some poison one day and I locked myself up in my room. I was staring at it while listening to all the happy people on the radio, then your show started and you were going on and on about how lovely the day is and how happy you were of being given the opportunity to be on air. It made me kind of mad. I was missing my mom so much, she used to love Utada Hikaru and we used to lounge around together after school listening to her albums. I sent in a dedication to you, just because you sounded so happily nervous.
When the song ended, I opened up the bottle, but then you said those words,”

“What did I say?” Daiki gasped, bewildered.

“You said; 'The song made me kind of lonely, are you lonely Key-san? You lifted my spirits with that dedication though, and I will do my best to accompany you for as long as my producer lets me, thanks for being there for me on my first day'.

“For a few seconds, I contemplated on my decision to end my life, I felt like I needed to finish that show with you, I needed to finish all shows with you, I know it’s weird, but somehow, I didn’t feel so lonely anymore,”

Daiki rubbed his eyes on the back of his sleeves and sniffed. His heart ached for some reason.

“So, that’s twice that you’ve saved my life ne,”

“You’re so selfish Inoo Kei,”

Inoo glared at him.

“Did you think killing yourself would make things easier, what about your cousin who very obviously loves you to death? Your friends would die of guilt, not knowing they couldn’t support you through your hardships, what about your mother huh? Did you ever think about her when you cut your wrist?”

“How would you understand what I was going through!” Inoo bellowed back.

“I do, and you know I do, otherwise you would have never told me!”

Inoo bit his quivering lip, spilling tears of anger and hurt. Daiki glared back, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Where’s the value of life if you don’t know the meaning of pain? What’s the meaning of strength if you haven’t achieved it through suffering? What’s the use of courage if you haven’t got the guts to sail through hardship? What’s the value of love and friendship to you if you place your own emotions before others? What’s the point of your existence Inoo Kei, if you were meant to crumble to such a sinful end?”

“Why does it have to hurt so bad then!” Inoo shrieked clutching his chest. Daiki reached out for his hand and held it tight.

“It’s going to be better soon Kei, just be patient and have faith…like Hikaru did,”

Tegoshi leaned his head against the wall, sighing at the conversation audible through the door by his side.

“Band huh?”

~*~

Chapter 26: Old Ties and New Starts

Chapter Text

Hikaru stretched in the tiny space between the coffee table and the couch, finding himself leaning back against a pair of bony legs. He looked up and chuckled finding Yabu in a pair of thick black spectacles, eyes focused on the massive textbook in his lap, fingers busy twirling a highlighter between his fingers.

“What?” Yabu finally sighed as Hikaru continued staring and giggling by himself.

“You look funny,”

Yabu stared. He took a deep breath and closed his book.

“And what, may I ask, is so funny about the way I look?”

“I dunno, you look like such a NERD,”

“No I don’t,”

“Yes you do,”

“Okay so I do, what’s wrong with that?” Yabu snapped. Hikaru yawned.

“Nothing really,” he mumbled sleepily, leaning his head against Yabu’s legs and hugging himself. Yabu gaped at the younger man in disbelief; he looked too comfortable to be curled up in such a cramped space.

“Thanks for staying over Ko-chan,” Hikaru sighed, eyes closed. Yabu’s gaze softened as he watched his friend remain in that position, miraculously asleep within minutes.

He looked up at the wall clock, it was only 9 and they had just had dinner but I guess it had been a busy day for Hikaru at the restaurant. Yabu restrained a laugh as an idea came to his mind. He carefully uncapped his highlighter and skillfully made to draw large circles around Hikaru’s eyes.

~*~


Keito shifted his gaze from the novel he had been reading to the head that was now nestled comfortably in his lap. His lips tugged into an amused smile at the pout on the others.

“You seem upset,”

“It’s hard, I feel like I might just be making things more awkward,”

Keito frowned.

“Why don’t you just tell him, tell Yuto straight to his face,”

Keisuke opened his eyes, staring intently up at his “step-brother”.

“It’s complicated Keito,”

“What’s so complicated? Yuto’s a smart kid, but he can be pretty dense at times,”

Keisuke chuckled.

“See, the thing is…I’m who he’s been looking for all this time, but at the same time…I’m not,”

Keito frowned.

Keisuke sat up.

“I don’t remember how I used to be before I became Okamoto Keisuke. His memories of his friend, of that friendship, I don’t have it. I’m so
sure my behavior, personality, even appearance differ from how it used to be before and unless I get my old memories back, I will never be able to fill in that place, as his childhood best friend…however…,”

“However?”

“What’s in a name right? If I can become his best friend as Keisuke, if we can start fresh, a new friendship…won’t it be easier for him to
except me…then just a forceful friendship because of old ties,”

“You’re making this even more complicated than it should be…Ryosuke,”

Keisuke gave Keito a weary smile.

“I know, but it won’t feel right, I really do care about him, not because he’s a piece of my past but I’ve grown fond of him over the past few weeks,”

“Well, he is pretty lovable chap ain’t he?” Keito snorted. He shrieked though as Keisuke tugged his cheek painfully.

“What was that for!” he groaned, massaging the developing bruise on his face. Keisuke yawned.

“I just felt like it,”

Keito rolled his eyes.

“Brat.”

~*~


Yuto shuffled his way upstairs, a glass of water in one hand, few pills in the other. He moved over to his desk and turned on the lamp, smiling as the light fell upon a certain sheet of paper.

The bold words written on the very top made his chest swell with pride.

DASH by Nakajima Yuto

He turned on his stereo and leaned into his chair, air-drumming to the beat from the speakers as he waited for his computer to start.
Logging in to his blog account, he was surprised to find a personal message in his inbox.

Clicking it open, he was even more surprised to find out who it was from.

************************************************************************************************************************************************

Sender : Ichigo-sama

Subject: Hey!

Sorry for the sudden message, I could’ve texted you on your cell but I just realized that you hadn’t given it to me and I wouldn’t want to just take it from Keito without your permission.

So, are you doing anything tomorrow? If you’re not, would you like to hang out? There’s a place I want to show you and someone I want you to meet, so if you’re free, let me know as soon as you can. I need to get an appointment kind of thing for it.

Oh, and have you heard the song Seishun Amigo from Shuji to Akira? Try and learn Akira’s part…don’t ask why. It’s a surprise!

Eagerly awaiting your reply,

Ja!

*************************************************************************************************************************************************

He stared at the screen, trying to absorb the words on the screen and understand the message.

What in the world was Keisuke planning?

Forehead wrinkled in confusion, he slipped in his pills and drained them down with water.

~*~

Chapter 27: Of Duets

Chapter Text

Yuto fumbled nervously with the strap of his bag, pulling his cap lower over his face. He knew Keisuke was an Idol, but how popular he really was never dawned upon until he arrived at the concert hall. The place was massive and even though it was currently closed, there was still security on the many gates.

He looked up and gaped at the large poster of three boys, two of whom he knew to be Keisuke and Chinen. Feeling a little bit uncomfortable (and very small), he decided maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. The security guards looked scary. He saw a few girls sitting on the sidewalk, uchiwas in hand. They looked at him curiously and one even giggled.

“He’s cute,”

“Yuto-kun!”

Yuto didn’t really understand what happened next. He heard squeals before he was grabbed by a rather large man and the next thing he knew was that he was inside a passageway, the heavy door closing behind him.

“Thank you Alexander,”

“Now, Keisuke-san, how many times have we went over this, don’t walk out into broad daylight without any cover especially when you have fans waiting outside,”

“I know, I’m sorry,”

Yuto, still rather stunned felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey, you okay?” Keisuke asked. He was dressed in a black jersey with yellow stripes and had his hair combed back, held in place with a
black hairband. Yuto nodded dumbly.

“I’m so glad you came,” he exclaimed taking his hand and leading him upwards, out through a large square opening. Yuto felt his breath catch in his chest. Keisuke stretched before turning to him, leaning against the banister. He smiled at the look on Yuto’s face.

“Well, what do you think?”

Yuto swept his gaze over the rows of seats around him, above him, below him, on to the other side and then at the massive stage nestled
amongst them in the center.

“Welcome to the Tokyo Dome Yuto-kun.”


~*~


“My poor poor baby!”

“LET ME GO!”

Inoo held back a laugh as he watched an emotional Massu almost strangle Daiki in his arms. Tegoshi stood next to him, looking utterly horrified.

“That boy is still recovering!” Tegoshi roared as Massu refused to let go and Daiki began turning blue.

Massu jumped back immediately.

“I still can’t believe,” Daiki gasped, recovering.

“That you two know each other,”

Massu beamed and Tegoshi rolled his eyes.

“We’re old friends from college, though I was his senior,”

“You certainly don’t act like my senior,”

“Oh shut it Tego-nyan, I still have the picture of you in your blue dress, stilettoes and that blond wig,”


Tegoshi turned beet red as Inoo and Daiki gaped at him.
 

“He forced me too!” Tegoshi shrieked pointing at a smiling Massu.
 

“The first time, not the second and third and fourth,”
 

Tegoshi smacked himself.
 

“It was just a weird phase and it was all fun and games, so please do not disturb my professional image in front of these kids,”
 

“Yeah yeah whatever,” Massu chuckled.
 

“Oh, Massu, Inoo here is the keyboarder I talked about,” Daiki began suddenly. Inoo gasped unconsciously and became rigid.
 

Massu smiled.
 

“Oh yah, about that, I’ve done most of the paperwork and got a recording booth booked, not too fancy but a good start nonetheless,”
 

Daiki’s eyes sparkled.
 

“Excellent!”
 

“Wait…,” Inoo began weakly.
 

“I’ll be looking forward to it, and your dad wishes you good luck as well,” Tegoshi stated, a slight hint of pride to his voice. 

 

He smiled as Inoo stared at him, utterly bewildered before breaking out into almost hysterical laughter. Daiki and Massu gaped at him as he collapsed onto the floor, clutching his stomach as he continued laughing.
 

“I guess…that means…your dad said yes?” Daiki mused watching the now-rolling boy with slight amusement.

 

~*~

 

“Are you sure this is alright?” Yuto mumbled, long fingers tracing the smooth surface of the mike stand. The stage was more massive than how it had appeared from the viewing box and it made him feel, really small.

“Yeah, staff-san is out for lunch, Yuri is taking his power nap, and Yuma has disappeared to God-knows-where again…so the stage is ours for an hour,”


“I didn’t know you were in a group?” Yuto asked impressed. He was surprised at the way Keisuke shrugged his shoulders.
 

“It’s no big deal, we’re just poster boys singing anime theme songs…our main assets are the popularity we bring to the group individually and the fact that we’re pretty good looking,”
 

“Still, you’re in a debuted group!”
 

“I guess,”
 

“You should be thankful you know,” Yuto began, sweeping a longing gaze at his surroundings, breathing in deeply. It felt, somewhat grand.
 

“There are so many who would die to be in your shoes,”
 

Keisuke watched the younger boy admire the props and sighed.
 

“I know…I used to be one of them,”
 

Yuto looked at him and was struck by the seriousness of the boy’s face.
 

“I grew up around this, and I tell you it was…so tempting…,”
 

“How did you get in?”
 

“You know my dad works for this company right, he used to bring me along to work sometimes, one day there was an audition going on and I finally asked him to let me try. I couldn’t though, cause they said it would have been unfair to the other applicants who had sent in forms and stuff and they were afraid the authorities would think my dad was trying to squeeze me in using his position.”
 

“Then?”
 

“I was frustrated, it was pretty disappointing since…I dunno, this much exposure to the Idols, the concerts, the energy, the music, the lights…I had begun to love it and the dance…that was my favourite part. I just loved when they danced, it made me feel this rush of adrenaline and I always wondered how it would be to dance up here, on this stage with an audience and beats and a spotlight on me, so I sneaked into a concert hall adjacent to the audition rooms and clambered onto the stage.”
 

“What did you do up there?” Yuto asked amused. Keisuke laughed.
 

“I thought I was alone, so I started dancing, mimicking moves I’d seen in concerts,”
 

“There was somebody there right?”
 

“Yeah, that man is now my choreographer…he said he’d never seen anyone move that beautifully, it was overwhelming you know when somebody praises you for doing something you love so much…it’s an indescribable feeling,”
 

Yuto nodded his head in agreement.
 

“He vouched for me, and I became a back dancer,”
 

“Your father must have been proud,”
 

“Well he was ecstatic, I reckon it was his plan from the beginning, to get me into this line of work, I guess my dance was pretty good, cause people used to tell me I stood out from the rest,”
 

“And now…,” Yuto began, poking his microphone.
 

“You know Yuto-kun…a word of advice if you don’t mind…,”
 

Yuto tilted his head to the side and eyed the shorter boy with a questioning gaze.

“Things that seem big when you’re still so small…may not seem that great anymore when you achieve them, and along the way…there will be a lot that you will lose, be asked to put away or just hide from the world…but remember…whatever you achieve will be because of who you were when you started and that was greatness beyond compare…If you get what I mean,”


Yuto nodded.

 

“I guess,” he replied. 

 

Keisuke gave a signal to a staff member near some equipment and then tapped the microphone as it turned on.


“Don’t ever change who you are for the sake of this business…even if the world demands it, there’s a difference between improving your own self and fabricating a new personality…which in this line of work…happens very often,”

 

“Why?”

“The majority might not like certain things about you, and my job is to please the majority…so I’d pretend to be who they want me to be…but backstage…sometimes, I sit in a corner and chant to myself…”I am who I am and that’s all I will be” and that keeps me grounded for the ones waiting for the real me back home,”
 

“We’re all set Kei-chan!”
 

“Get ready,” Keisuke whispered to him, holding onto his mike.
 

“Eh?” Yuto bellowed and cringed as his voice echoed throughout the hall. Keisuke sniggered.
 

“Don’t worry, it’s only us…have fun okay?”
 

Yuto nodded and took a deep breath as the music started. He smiled.
 

It was his favourite song…he remembered when it first came out…he used to sing it so much it used to annoy Yama-…
 

That’s right…he used to sing this song with Yamachan…they did a duet for their school.
 

He looked to the side as he sang with Keisuke, their voices blending in perfectly together. Something about the way they sounded together, Keisuke’s features (now that he noticed) and the way they were up on stage, performing…his chest hurt.
 

Who are you?
 

He frowned as midway through the song, Keisuke stopped, eyes widened.
 

He halted as well as he found his gaze suddenly locked by the shorter boy’s. He frowned.
 

Why did Keisuke seem so…afraid? And...

 

He felt as though his heart had just plummeted 5 floors.
 

Why did his features seem so…familiar?


He remembered his mother’s words.
 

“Something about his presence reminded me of someone,”

‘It’s not possible, now I know…it was foolish of me to think so…he’s no longer here…I should accept that fact.’


The music stopped. Keisuke closed his eyes and Yuto was taken aback by the tears that trailed down his cheeks.
 

“Keisuke-kun?”
 

‘Why did we meet?’
 

Life has this strange way of playing with us. It brings back what we want to forget and makes us forget what we really want…

‘You’re a strange existence…a resemblance of my past, a reminder of my guilt.’


They both looked up as they heard someone clapping.
 

“My, don’t the two of you make a good combi?”

 

~*~

 

Chapter 28: Mishaps and Misunderstandings

Chapter Text

“Taro-san!”

Keisuke wiped his face on the back of his sleeve before dashing off stage towards a tall man in a suit and large pearly glasses.

“Is this the boy you were talking about?”

Yuto clambered down the stage rather clumsily and approached them with hesitant steps.

“Yes…he’s a drummer but he’s got a rather unique voice don’t you think so?” Keisuke said excitedly.

Yuto gulped as the man scrutinized him through his amplifying lenses.

“He sure does,”

“Yuto, he’s the head of the label I’m signed to,”

“Keisuke!”

The boy turned to acknowledge the call from Chinen who stood bleary eyed on the stage before excusing himself to tend to him. Yuto fidgeted with a button of his shirt as he watched the two idols converse, trying to avoid the presence by his side.

“You’re in a band I heard,”

He nodded silently.

“Well, I’ll keep an eye on your progress then, somehow you seem promising,”

Yuto nodded again, heartbeat erratic from the fact that this was coming from the head of a successful music label.

“It’s always a plus point to know people from the industry,”

Yuto nodded again, slight hesitantly this time. Plus point?

He saw the man eyeing Keisuke silently.

“The boy’s pretty naïve though,” he sighed.

“Trying to give a boost to a person who could very well become his rival in the near future,”

It took Yuto some time to digest the words.

“Wait a second,” he began, unaware of how petulant he sounded. The man fixed an amused gaze upon him.

“I’m not trying to use Keisuke for anything,”

The man’s lips tugged into a slight smile.

“You mean to tell me, that it never crossed your mind that befriending a popular starlet would give you a boost in the industry?”

Anger boiled within him as he glared back at the man.

“No, he’s my friend and he did this just so I could get a taste of what I’m aiming for,”

“Oh really?”

Yuto frowned. Was that a mock?

“Then why would he go through all the trouble to get me to come down here just to watch you perform?”

Yuto bit his lip as a retort died in his throat. So, that’s why they sang?

He mustered up his courage as he stared right back at the older man.

“My band and I are going to make it big on our own, just you watch…I don’t need any ‘boost’ from people like you thank you very much,”

“Hey hey, I never said that it was wrong,”
 

Yuto held back the overwhelming hurt within him. He tightened the strap around his lithe frame before giving the man a short bow.
 

“I’ll take my leave,” he murmured lowly, feet moving swiftly the same way he came in. He could hear Keisuke’s voice calling him but he kept walking, hastening his steps till he reached the gate. Alexander gave him a nod and unlocked the massive door.
 

He felt a hand on his shoulder before he let himself be turned around.
 

“Where are you going?” Keisuke panted. His features tensed at the tear tracks down the taller boy’s face.
 

“What happened? Did he say something to you?” he asked anxiously, voice low. Yuto brushed his hand off and stepped back.
 

“Thanks for everything Keisuke, but please…stay away from me,”
 

Keisuke gaped at him, shock and confusion etched into his features.
 

Yuto sobbed audibly before welcoming the warm air and sunlight that greeted him through the open gate. With a heart too heavy he left the confines of the grand concert hall but not before secretly vowing to return soon.
 

“I will own this stage and make you swallow your words Taro-san…you just watch.”
 

~*~
 

Keito hummed silently as he zipped up his guitar bag, eyes fixed on the score he had been assigned to learn overnight. They had been given a week to learn a new song for the radio broadcast and Keito couldn't be more thankful that he was on term break. He looked up as he saw Keisuke enter the apartment but frowned as the boy marched upstairs without a greeting.

“How did it go?” he asked and flinched as the door was slammed shut.
 

~*~
 

If Keito thought he had something to worry about at home alone, he was wrong.
 

“What in the world is going on here?” he asked taking a place on the floor next to Ryutaro. Takaki and Hikaru seemed to be in a pretty heated discussion. Inoo was watching them with a frown and Yuto was seated on his drums, staring blankly into space.
 

“Hikaru-kun says the group requires another guitarist but Takaki-kun wants to add a vocalist as well,”
 

“Since when did we agree on opening up slots on the band?” Keito asked astounded by the news. Ryutaro shrugged.
 

“Well, apparently Hikaru-kun started it by saying they need a solid member with some legit experience in music and apparently the guitarist they want to add is not just apt in the instrument but apparently is a songwriter and a former child star,”
 

“Are you serious?”
 

Ryutaro nodded.
 

“Plus, he’s really nice,” the younger admitted unabashedly.
 

“Is he the guy who broke into Hikaru’s apartment last time?”
 

Ryutaro chuckled.
 

“Yup,”
 

Keito reflected a bit.
 

“I guess having someone as organized as him would be a plus point,” he agreed solemnly.
 

“Now here’s the problem, Takaki wants another vocalist but he’s already an Idol…remember Chinen Yuri?”
 

Keito nodded.
 

“Now Yuto says that having an Idol in the group would bring the band trouble, since he already has his own fans and if you guys are planning to start from scratch, that would be a bad idea,”

 

“And now?”
 

“Takaki’s refusing to be lead vocals if Yabu-kun joins, cause personally…I think he’s intimidated,”
 

“Intimidated?”
 

Ryutaro nodded knowingly.
 

“Yabu-kun used to be known as the boy with an Angel’s voice,”
 

Keito’s eyes widened as the situation dawned upon him.
 

“Um…guys,” he began softly, getting to his feet. The pair continued squabbling as Inoo gawked at them while Yuto continued his melancholic staring at the floor.

He sighed, inwardly cursing his soft-spoken nature…and then screamed. Ryutaro jumped, Inoo almost knocked his Keyboard off the stand and Yuto toppled off his stool.
 

“Keito what the hell was that?” Hikaru exclaimed at the flushed face of the younger now massaging his injured throat.

 

“Do we even have time for this?”
 

“We have like…a few days left till the broadcasting…this could seriously be our big break and these people who are trying to help us out…they have faith in us, we aren’t going to disappoint them are we? If we’re really going to have a new member then let’s just have him join us and get started…it’s not like our band’s original form will change now, will it? It took us years to build after all.”
 

Keito felt extremely uncomfortable with the way he was being stared at. Maybe he said a little too much?
 

Takaki looked thoughtful while Hikaru was still gaping at him. He looked down at Ryutaro to find him gazing up with at him, eyes full of admiration.

 

“...Keito,” Inoo began.
 

“You should talk more often.”

 

~*~

Chapter 29: JUMP on air

Chapter Text

“Cheer up Hikaru, at least you still have me,”

Hikaru growled in reply to Inoo’s sneer, making the pale boy chuckle almost maliciously.

“Oh don’t give me that look,” he began folding his arms across his chest.

“It was your idea,”

Hikaru threw an irritated glance at the duo seated on a couch at the end of the small room, talking animatedly.

“Who knew they’d get along so well huh?” Yuto giggled poking Hikaru’s puffed up cheeks as Yabu launched into a fit of uncontrollable laughter at something Takaki said.

Keito was standing right in the middle of the waiting chamber, eyes sweeping over the thick carpet, the soundproof walls, the plush seating and dim lamps adorning each angle.

“This is exciting!” Yuto chirruped bouncing over to him. Keito hummed in reply.

“Hey Yuto?”

“Hmm,”

“What happened between you and my brother?”

Keito frowned at the awkward silence that followed.

“He’s really upset,” he continued as Yuto avoided eye contact.

“He…he is?”

Just then, the main door swung open and Daiki pounced in.

“Are you all ready?”

“You bet we are!” Hikaru announced throwing up his hands and smacking Inoo right in the face.

Daiki watched them gather, forming a perfect circle with their joined pinkies and he smiled.

“Alright boys, this is it, our first step to a dream come true…we worked too hard to make any mistakes now,”

“JUMP are we ready?”

A collective ‘hell yeah’ resounded in the room…voices united in their energy.

“Come on, your instruments are already set in the booth,”

The band of 6 marched into their designated space. Yuto felt his heart beat uncomfortably as he took his place behind his drum set and placed the large headphones on.

“Now, we’ve had a practice run here before so don’t get nervous okay?”

Takaki wrapped his fingers around the mike stand as he watched Daiki settle in his place across the glass.

He chuckled at the comical look of concentration on their leader’s face, knowing that it was meant to melt their tension…no matter how secretly worried he might be himself. He was thankful, very thankful that on that fateful night when he was singing away his worries by himself in a cheesy karaoke box that Hikaru popped his head in through the door.

“I’ve found you!” he had said. He had been greatly confused by the sudden declaration since the two were complete strangers but how Hikaru had managed to coax him into the band, he wondered himself.

He took a deep breath. Things were changing, he could feel it. He cast his vision around and nodded at the excited smiles from his group-mates.

He was no longer the little boy who was abandoned, the young delinquent in high school, the outcast of the society.

He was a part of a group of young men, all wanting to be more than ordinary, wanting the world to know them for what they were best at, what they loved to do.

Singing had been nothing but a past time to him, a way to relieve the stress of the day. His many unstable part-time jobs and the orphanage had been his life all this while…but now, he might just get a real identity…one that he will make from the melody within.

“The live broadcast will begin shortly,” came Massu’s voice from a booth on the other side of Daiki’s post.

“We’ll be on air in 3…2…1…,”

“A very good evening Tokyo dwellers, Ari-chan here with a special surprise for my dear listeners….have you ever had a dream to light the skies with the burst of colours within? With a talent so raw yet so fresh…working at this radio station has given me quite a good ear if I may say so myself and I think I found something that I really want to share with you all…so without further ado, to begin my show tonight…I would like to present to you all, a group of 6 talented young men, without the glitz and glamour of industrious heights but a sense of melody pure and untainted. The song is entitled Kumo no Ito…the airway’s all yours boys,”

Takaki mouthed a thank you through the glass to which Daiki replied with a playful wink. Yuto gripped his drumsticks tight, Inoo placed his fingers upon his keyboard and Keito touched his guitar pick upon a string that vibrated at the subtle touch.

Hikaru held up his fingers….3…2…1

~*~

Chapter 30: Dreams for the Doubters

Chapter Text


“Korea?”

Keisuke stared at the floor to hide his anxiety as he awaited his manager’s reaction.

“Why Korea?”

“Remember the choreographer you told me about? The one we were planning to meet before…that incident,”

Kenichi nodded.

“I want to train with him. I’ll spend six months in Korea before coming back for University here,”

“You’re already really good; the training was just an excuse to escape from the Yakuza Ryosuke,”

The boy shook his head.

“I want to be more than good, I want people to watch me perform and say, ‘Yes…he deserved the spotlight’,”

Kenichi chuckled.

“People don’t say that now?”

Something about the way Keisuke looked at him silenced him…a wave of guilt rushing over him.

“His face is his most important asset, without it, he would still be a struggling artist,”

Those had been his words after all.

“Please?”

Kenichi’s brows furrowed in concentration as he began calculating the pros and cons of agreeing to his star’s request as the latter waited.

“I guess, I can talk to the label and make arrangements…,”

Keisuke smiled.

“Thank you so much,”

Keito peered down at the exchange from the crack in his bedroom door, dread creeping up onto him like the tendrils of a wild plant. He waited for his father to leave to the terrace to make his calls and Keisuke to retire to his room before making his move.

He opened the door quietly and slipped into his brother’s room.

He found the boy hovering over an open suitcase. His eyes spotted a badge over an envelope on the table. He shuffled closer and his eyes widened as he read the name imprinted upon the badge.

“Yuto gave that to me,”

He turned at Keisuke’s voice to find the boy flat on his back on a rug on the floor, misty eyes upon the ceiling.

“He wanted me to help look for his old friend, ironic huh?”

Keito sighed.

“What’s with the letter?”

“Apology…I think I owe him one,”

Keisuke rolled over onto his stomach, humming as he reached for a manga lying on the floor nearby. Keito’s eyes widened as he recognized the melody.

“You…listened? You listened to our broadcast?”

“How could I not?”

He could feel tears swimming dangerously in his eyes, threatening to pour as he tried to imagine coming home to an empty house again.

“You’re so selfish,” he croaked. The tone of his voice made Keisuke sit up immediately.

“Keito?”

“I don’t want to by myself anymore, I hate it,”

Keisuke bit his lip as he watched the older boy lean against the wall, arms folded across his chest, traces of his tears glinting in the light.

“It hurts, it hurts when I’m alone,”

“I…I’ll be back…It’s for work…,”

“WORK WORK THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS RIGHT?”

Keisuke flinched at the outburst. Keito looked almost hysterical.

“First dad, then you…you’re both the same,”

He stared wide eyed at the door of his bedroom as it was slammed shut.

“First dad, then you…you’re both the same,”

~*~
 

It’s been three weeks since our first radio broadcast. I honestly admit to believing that that would be the only time we’d ever get to do something like that…because the very next day, things had gone back to how they used to be.

Boring and ordinary…

I found myself once again attending random seminars and going through brochures to pick a course for the first semester of the coming year. It had gotten harder than ever before since I was so distracted. I would sit in a daze, thinking of beats and lyrics as a man in a pressed suit droned on and on about which course to select based on my aptitude and grades. He told me I was lucky, with my scores I could apply to really good universities. However I would be a year older than most of my classmates since I was wasting an entire year in my indecisiveness.

My father though, glowed with pride.

I sighed.

What was wrong with me?

How could I be so ungrateful?

Something deep inside told me that I had a problem and I was beginning to kind of understand it. I doubted too much. I would tell others I didn’t, heck I told myself I didn’t but now I knew better and I felt horrible.

Because as of this moment, I doubted our band…I doubted myself.

Mother once told me, dreamers don’t doubt…they work and when they work hard, it always pays off.

I was making an effort, we all were… but I was losing hope. It was stupid to think that right after that broadcasting we would become famous or something. 


I wonder if that many people even listened to Daiki’s station.


Yuto ruffled his hair in frustration, silencing the councilor. His father looked at him bewildered.
 

“Excuse me,” he said politely and got to his feet.
 

“I need some air,”
 

His father nodded, concerned.
 

“Are you feeling well? You did take your morning pills right?”
 

Yuto nodded in reassurance.
 

“Alright, call me whenever you want to leave,”
 

Yuto waded his way through the crowd to an area of the hall with a few vacant stalls. They weren’t many people here. He leaned against thewall and held himself close. His eyes stung and his body felt cold.

He was probably getting a fever. He sighed wearily.
 

It had done him good. Ever since he had gotten so serious with his band, he had been taking his medications regularly and had stopped thinking about his ailing health. The nightmares had stopped too.
 

He sighed. His life has become his focus, his past…a distant memory.
 

“I think I’ve moved on Ryo-chan…it’s just, I can’t help but feel guilty…like I’m doing something wrong by trying to forget you,”
 

“Why are you talking to yourself?”
 

His head snapped up and his eyes widened considerably.
 

“Ryutaro?”
 

The boy gave him an amused chuckle.
 

“Yes it’s me,”
 

“Aren’t you in high school?”
 

Ryutaro nodded.
 

“Yeah dude I am, but I’m here accompanying my best friend…he’s picking out universities,”
 

“Oh,”
 

Ryutaro began fumbling in the pocket of his jacket. Yuto gasped unconsciously as he withdrew an envelope and plastic folder holding in a badge.
 

Oh fate was cruel.
 

“Kei wanted me to give this to you,”
 

“Kei?”
 

“Um…my friend, I assumed you guys knew each other,”
 

Yuto directed his gaze to where Ryutaro was pointing and felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. The figure in the blue parka and jeans was not one to stand out from the crowd, except for the large cap hiding his hair or the medical mask covering his face. However as he watched the eyes behind the red frames widen as they met with his, he felt like the most horrible person in the world.
 

Keisuke bowed low in greeting, breaking the awkward staring contest before shuffling over to a stall.
 

He had been nothing but a friend to him, as ichigo-sama and then in real life but the way Yuto had ended their friendship gave him nothing but shame.
 

He stared at the badge.

“I will find him for you,”


“Hey, you okay?”
 

Ryutaro’s voice snapped him out of it.

“Yeah, I didn’t know you guys were friends,”
 

“I’m a junior at his agency, but I’m going to debut soon that’s why he’s taking me to Korea with him,” Ryutaro said smugly. Yuto gaped at him, the information taking time to digest.


Ryutaro…debut? Korea? Keisuke’s…leaving?
 

“Why?”
 

Ryutaro frowned.
 

“Why? Training of course, there’s this dude who’s working at a dance academy there, he’ll be coaching us,”
 

“I…I see,”
 

“I told Keisuke that he shouldn’t take me because I’m going to get better than him, we’re kind of like rivals you know…but you know what he did in reply? He laughed! The nerve! I’ll show him!”
 

“Now where did the idiot disappear to?”

Yuto looked around the hall, eyes desperately searching. He should clear things out between them. His conscious told him it would be wrong to leave their ties this severed. Who knew if they’d even meet after Keisuke leaves?
 

He jumped slightly as his phone rang, his ‘Kumo no Ito’ ringtone too loud for the venue. Ryutaro bounced away in search of his companion as Yuto answered his call.
 

As he ended his call, he looked up to see three students all clutching brochures looking at him nervously. One was a girl with pink ponytails and the other two were boys, on in glasses and the other with spiked hair. The girl nudged the bespectacled boy closer to Yuto.
 

“Ano…sorry for the suddenness but…your ringtone just now…what was the name of that song?”
 

Yuto stared for a moment before realizing his surprise seemed a little too rude.
 

“It’s Kumo no Ito, by JUMP,” he answered wondering where this was going. The girl grinned triumphantly.
 

“I told you they were called Jump!”
 

The boy with the spikes rolled his eyes.
 

“Where did you get such a clean version of the song, we tried recording it off Ari-chan’s show but there was always too much noise,” the bespectacled guy said excitedly.
 

“I…I got it from the studio,”
 

“Studio recording! Where can we get that? Is it available for download?”
 

Yuto shook his head. They looked disappointed.
 

“Ano…can you send it to my phone…please!” the girl pleaded.
 

Yuto nodded dumbly.
 

“Me too!” the bespectacled guy shouted.
 

“Baka,” the guy with spiked flicked his forehead.
 

“We can get it from Karen,”
 

“Oh yah,”
 

“Hey, one last question,” the girl said as she received the song from Yuto. He looked up at her.
 

“How did you get the studio version? Do you personally know the band? The main vocalist sounds hot!”
 

Yuto held down a smile, trying to imagine Takaki’s reaction to the comment. He smiled at her.
 

“I’m the drummer,”
 

He felt quite uncomfortable with the way the three were gaping at him.
 

“Oh my God, if the drummer is this cute…I so wanna see the vocalist now,” the girl squealed then swooned as the song started playing on her phone.
 

“Shin, what’s going on?”

The guy with spikes looked over his shoulder at the small group now besieging them.
 

“He’s the drummer of JUMP,”
 

“Are you serious?”
 

Nakajima-san panicked when he could hardly hear Yuto’s voice over the phone. He watched with bewilderment, together with many other parents as their kids gathered together.
 

“What in the world is going on there?” a concerned mother voiced from his side. He shrugged as another replied.
 

“They’re acting like they’ve seen a celebrity.”

 

~*~

Chapter 31: So Close

Chapter Text


Shuffling into the mildly crowded train, he pulled his large cap slightly lower onto his face before settling down on a seat in the corner. He plugged in his earphones, careful to not displace his facemask and leaned against the side, eyes closing as Chopin’s Nocturn began playing.

The man sitting across him smiled slightly at the lethargic youth, his eyes softening at a certain thought.

“He would be almost the same age,” he whispered quietly before resuming his attention onto his newspaper with a sad sigh. The man looked up though as a companion neared him.

“Yamada-san?” the other asked holding out his hand. Yamada-san shook the hand with a smile and shifted to allow the new-comer to sit.

“Hisashiburi,”

Yamada-san nodded, folding his newspaper.

“If you would have told me told me that you were coming back to Japan earlier I would’ve picked you and the family up from the airport personally,”

“There was no need for that Toshio but thanks,”

“How’re the Mrs and the girls?”

“At their grandparent’s place, still tired out from the journey,”

“Will you be starting work again?”

“Yes, we returned as soon as my application was accepted,”

“That’s good, your parents must be happy to have the entire family back with them,”

Yamada-san chuckled as he withdrew an old family picture from his wallet, unconsciously stroking the little beaming boy nestled between himself and his wife.

“Yes, the house is pretty lively again, the family...almost feels complete now.”

The men continued talking as the train came to a stop, jerking the boy awake. He removed his earplugs in time to hear his station being announced and gathered his things quickly, heading for the nearest exit. His feet felt heavy somehow, but he blamed it on his exhaustion rather than the weird tugging in his heart as the doors slid close behind him and the vehicle left him standing in a daze on the platform.


~*~


A Few Hours Later

“I still can’t believe you idiots would be leaving in ten days,” Chinen mumbled as he lay on his back, arms holding a pillow close to himself.  He threw an annoyed glance at the two boys on the floor, one trying to speak in broken Korean and the other replying in complete gibberish.

“Ryutaro! Take this seriously,”

“Why do I have to learn a new language? It’s too much work!”

Chinen rolled onto his stomach and chuckled.

“Keisuke, teach him some good pick up lines…maybe he’ll be more interested,”

“I WILL NOT!” Ryutaro roared, red in the face. Keisuke shook his head.

“What am I gonna do by myself?” Chinen whined.

“You won’t be by yourself, you’ll have Yuma,” Keisuke replied matter-of-factly.

“That Osaka boy has a life okay?”

“And you don’t?”

“No,”

“Cheer up Chii, we’ll keep in touch, and it’s only 6 months,”
 

Chinen puffed up his cheeks.
 

“Easy for you to say…hmm I wonder what Yuyan and his band is up to?”
 

Both boys noted the sudden tense expression of the oldest of them and Chinen frowned.
 

“Keisuke, you okay?”
 

The boy gave him a forced smile.
 

“Why don’t you go pay him a visit?”
 

Chinen pouted.
 

“I’ll do that…but you sure you okay?”
 

Keisuke nodded reassuringly.
 

“Don’t worry….I’ll be fine.”
 

~*~
 

“You’re kidding me right?”
 

Yuto was trying his best to hold down his excitement as the rest of the group sat huddled together on the floor of their little ‘studio’, eyes apprehensive upon the young DJ unfurling colourful handmade charts.

“The first week after the broadcast was pretty dead in your favour, but requests for your song began pouring in from the second week,”
 

Yuto grinned at a flabbergasted Hikaru. Takaki and Yabu both seemed to be in shock.
 

“Most of my listeners are university and college kids, and from what happened to Yuto, you guys seemed to have developed a fanbase consisting of people from that age group,” Daiki added with a proud smile.
 

“So, now you guys have a target audience, and until you get signed to any label, I would be glad to continue promoting you through my station…since well, we have similar target audiences,”
 

“This is…too much too fast,” Hikaru breathed heavily, running his hand through his hair. Keito hummed silently in agreement. His father’s words striking a strange anxiety within him.
 

“I don’t mean to hurt you boys, I’m your father after all, but this industry is ruthless and that’s why…I had to keep you away from it completely, to protect you from it,”


“There’s still a long way to go though,”
 

All eyes were on Yabu now.
 

“I mean, we would need to promote the group won’t we?”
 

“How do we do that?” Takaki asked with a frown. Yabu looked thoughtful.
 

“What about posters and small live performances?”
 

“Nice idea Yabu-kun,” said Daiki excitedly.
 

“But what if no Label hires us the way we are?” Yuto spoke, suddenly remembering his conversation with Keisuke and his encounter with Taro-san.
 

“What if nobody wants us at all….you’ve head of ‘One-Hit-Wonders’ haven’t you? I still can’t believe that we can be this lucky,” Inoo grumbled. Hikaru shot him a glare.
 

Daiki shook his head.
 

“I don’t think your efforts would go to waste like that,” he said.
 

“Nor mine,” he continued with a slight chuckle. Yuto nodded with a smile before wiping the sweat off his brow. It was the middle of autumn and the room was relatively cool, yet he couldn’t understand why he was sweating so much.
 

“Pessimist,” Yabu groaned giving Inoo a look that went completely ignored.
 

“So, we need to take great pictures and turn them into posters, and then...does anyone know of a good venue for a live performance?”
 

Inoo’s ‘honor student’ hand shot up in the air.
 

“The university carnival,”
 

Daiki gaped.
 

“Our university’s holding a carnival?” he asked perplexed.
 

Inoo sighed.

“It’s still under planning, we have yet to reveal it to the student body...but we were searching for entertainment...and maybe...just maybe I can get the rest of the council to agree on letting us be the live entertainment,”
 

“Can you do that?” Daiki queried hopefully.
 

“He’s the vice-president, and a very scary one at that, I don’t think it will be that hard,” Yabu explained with a smirk. Inoo rolled his eyes.
 

“When is the carnival scheduled?”
 

“We have been working on it for three months now and have decided upon a date ten days from today, it’s a Sunday,”
 

“This is perfect!” Daiki declared bouncing around the room. He froze as a flash from Keito’s camera blinded him temporarily.
 

“I can work on the posters,” he said shyly as Yuto caught the stumbling boy. Just then, the door swung open and a figure rushed in.
 

“Leave the make-up and wardrobe to me!”
 

“Chi?” Takaki exclaimed at the beaming boy.
 

“This is too much fun to be ignored,” the smaller boy replied clapping his hands excitedly.
 

“This feels like a team somehow,” Yuto mused with a smile. Daiki beamed.
 

“Cause that’s what this is, isn’t it?” he replied cheerfully. Hikaru took a deep breath and fisted the air.
 

“Yosh minna, let’s work as a team and ace this carnival!”
 

       ~*~

 

 

Chapter 32: Breathe

Chapter Text

Yuto breathed in the fresh air as he leaned against the railing, the metal cool under his burning skin. His head was throbbing but he cared not. They had spent the entire week distributing fliers, putting up posters and practicing an entire set of songs to perform at the carnival and he had never felt more proud of himself and the band.

He scrolled through his contact list and stopped at the new entry he had just copied from Keito’s phone (without his knowledge). He felt like a thief even though it was just a phone number, but he had panicked after realizing that Ichigo-sama had deleted his account.

Taking a deep breath he pressed the call icon and anxiously waited for a response from the other end of the line. He had started sweating again.

He felt awful, not only because of how he’d behaved with Keisuke but also because he had been so caught up with his band that he had actually considered trying to forget him.

He was trying to move on right? But why did it feel so wrong…and why did Keisuke’s existence…the mere mention of his name brought those memories back? Is it because he was the one friend that knew everything about his past?

He felt his heart stop abruptly in his chest as the call was answered. He somehow wasn’t expecting to be able to get through this easily and now felt as if his voice was stuck in his throat.

“Hello? Who is this?”

Yuto gulped.

“I’m hanging up,”

“NO WAIT!”

“…”

Yuto bit his lip. He felt foolish.

“Um…Keisuke-kun?”

“Yuto-kun?”

“Yes…it’s me,”

“Oh….hi,”

“Hello,”

“How are you?”

“Pretty good, you?”

“Pretty good,”

“That’s good,”

“….”

“…”

“Look Keisuke…,” / “Did you read the…,”

Yuto smiled as he heard Keisuke chuckle on the other side.

“You go first Yuto-kun,”

Yuto took a deep shuddering breath.

“Keisuke-kun, I’m sorry,”

“For what?”

“Everything…for being rude and insensitive and ungrateful,”

“You don’t have to apologize Yuto-kun, Taro-san told me what happened,”

Yuto was startled.

“He did?”

“Yeah, he said he was trying to judge your character, Taro-san believes talent isn’t everything…he has his philosophies
so please don’t mind,”

“Oh…no no it’s okay, I shouldn’t have let my emotions go out of control that time and I should’ve replied in a better way,”

“But he said that he liked the way you responded, he’s very impressed by you actually…you would’ve known this if you had read the letter I sent for you,”

Yuto chuckled sheepishly, feeling a little weird. Taro-san was impressed with him?

“Sorry, things kept me busy and…I don’t know, with the way we last saw each other…I was scared to read a…’goodbye forever’ letter…lame I know,”

Keisuke laughed.

“It wasn’t a goodbye letter Yuto-kun, it was a threat,”

Yuto frowned.

“Threat?”

“Yup, because I am leaving the country and I expect that you would keep an eye on my brother for me like you promised…I’ve kept mine didn’t I?”

Yuto fell silent, trying to digest the boy’s words. He remembered the promise. Keisuke would find Ryosuke for him, but he had returned the badge. How did that work?

“You still there Yuto-chi?”

Yuto stuttered into the phone, embarrassed at the sudden use of the nickname.

“We will be performing live soon, do you think you will be able to come see?” he asked fearful of rejection.

“Really? That’s great! I wonder why Keito hasn’t told me about this though, text me the date, time and venue…and I’ll see you there?”

“Great!”

“Alright then, ja,”

“Un,”

Yuto was still beaming as he worked on the text. Maybe he should really read that letter. The badge was now back with him though. He slipped his free hand inside his pocket and smiled as his fingers wrapped around the familiar object. It felt like he had gotten an old companion back.

“Yuto, we’re about to start the last practice,”

The lanky boy almost dropped his phone in his surprise as he turned around to see Keito at the door.

“You okay? You’ve been looking really tired recently,” the guitarist ask, his features darkened with concern.

“Maybe it’s just the excitement,” Yuto replied cheerfully. Keito smiled in relief.

“That’s good, now let’s go otherwise Hikaru’s gonna throw another tantrum…he’s been pretty hyper recently,”

Yuto chuckled.

“Hey Keito,” he began as they descended the staircase together.

“Hmm?”

“Have you told Keisuke about the carnival?”

“Nope,”

Yuto frowned.

“Why?”

Keito blinked at him.

“Um…cause he’s leaving for Korea on that same day.”

~*~


I had always been afraid of things out of my control.

The rhythm of life had always been too difficult, too mysterious and too intricate for me to follow. It’s like standing on a crossroad, with every path either covered in smog or turning sharply in a direction I couldn’t follow by standing where I was. I could never look up and say…I know exactly where I’m going. Maybe that’s why I loved playing drums so much. I had complete control over my actions, and every new step was just waiting to be learned and mastered.

I did have control over myself in this…or so I thought…

“Yuto, are you alright?”

Yuto glared at the fallen drumstick on the floor, beads of perspiration rolling down his face. He clutched the hand that had held the fallen stick close to himself and realized that it was trembling…badly.

He took a deep shuddering breath and looked up at his anxious companions.

“I might have sprained my wrist, that’s all,” he said as cheerfully as he possibly could. Hikaru, frowning placed his guitar against the stand of Inoo’s keyboard before rushing to his side.

“Let me see,”

“NO!”

Hikaru gaped at him, obviously taken aback. The others stared.

“I mean, I…I just need some air. You guys continue….I’ll…be right back okay?”

He didn’t dare look back as he left the studio. He couldn’t. He knew he had a lot of damage to repair when he returned.
Not to mention a lot of excuses and explanations to come up with, but at the moment, he just needed to isolate himself.

He didn’t want them to know.

He couldn’t really remember how he had managed to climb all the way up to the rooftop again. Shutting the door he stumbled towards the railing and collapsed against it. His breathing had become severely labored and his head was pounding. The breeze made his sweat-drenched body shiver.

He swore inwardly. He should have taken his medication regularly from the beginning like his mother had advised him
to. The doctors had warned him as well.

“You’re body can’t handle the stress that well Yuto-kun. With these medicines, we can still control how your body responds to tension, but if you neglect it…it’ll be quite troublesome. Don’t push yourself into a state we won’t be able to bring you back from. There is a possibility that you will experience an attack sometime in your life…these medicines might delay or reduce its severity but it might still happen…and when it does…”

He had never had this much trouble when playing his drums before. He did get lightheaded at times, but it never breached his tolerance level. But right now, he felt as if his brain, his chest, his soul was being compressed.

This couldn’t be happening. The concert was in 3 days…this was their big break!

He clutched his head in pain. He was seeing stars and his vision was becoming dimmer by the passing second. He had stopped hearing properly as well. He managed to pull out his phone but as it slipped from his hands, he burst into uncontrolled sobs.

Was he going to die here? On this very rooftop?

He fumbled in his pockets and pulled out the badge.

He tried to blink back the tears, his breathing was coming in gasps and he felt as if his ribs were tightening around his lungs.

Am I really going to die?

He clutched the badge to his chest.

No, I can’t. Not yet please…I still have so much to do.

He heard faint, echoing voices that seemed to be calling out for him. He shut his eyes…it didn’t make much difference anyway. His brain felt like it was slowly turning to mush.

“I’ll bear the pain…this…is…it is my punishment…it’s because I couldn’t protect you…because I let them take you from me…forgive me,”

“Yuto….are you up here?” Keito pushed open the door, Takaki right at his heels. They froze as they spotted him.

Yuto felt himself slip into a painless sleep. He was falling through the darkness at a strangely comfortable pace.

“YUTO!”

He couldn’t hear them anymore. He didn’t feel Takaki pulling him close or Keito checking his pulse and Hikaru shouting over the phone for an ambulance. He was not with them at that moment.

He was on a bridge over a river staring up at a bright blue sky. He could hear the distant laughter of two children as they played in the shallow waters underneath. One of the children stopped what he was doing and looked up at him, a smile ghosting upon his lips.

Yuto felt himself reach for him.

“Ryo-chan?”

~*~

Chapter 33: Angel

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe this,” Hikaru sighed leaning against the wall. Yabu squeezed his shoulder and gave him a smile of reassurance.

“He’ll be okay,”

Hikaru shook his head and blinked back the moisture accumulating in his eyes.

“I can’t believe he kept something like this from me,”

Takaki, who was slouched on a bench opposite the two wiped a stray tear and looked Hikaru straight in the eye. He could tell that their
leader was furious. He felt Chinen leave the seat next to him to answer a call.

“I’ve always thought of him as my own brother, and yet…he couldn’t trust me with something like this!”

“Hikaru calm down,”

“I didn’t know…I didn’t know either,”

There was a deadly silence in the already quiet hallway as Keito spoke, ignoring the looks of disbelief cast upon him.

“What exactly is wrong with Nakajima?” Daiki asked taking the space between Takaki and Inoo.

“Around ten years ago, Yuto was involved in an…incident,”

“Nakajima-san!”

The woman smiled tenderly at the gathered group, her misty eyes softening at their anxious faces. Yuto’s father stood right next to her, his
expressions calm yet pained.

“What incident?” Hikaru asked quietly.

“A kidnapping,” said Yuto’s father gravely.

Keito’s eyes widened.
 

“He was with another friend of his, both boys did manage to escape their captors but were pursued…his friend was shot and he attained a serious head injury. This happened by a riverbank. By the time they were discovered, the other boy was nowhere to be found, believed to have been swept away by the flow of the river, and Yuto…he was in a coma, having lost a lot of blood. He remained unconscious for a significant amount of time but even after he woke up…his behavior frightened us. He was intensely traumatized; refusing to recognize his parents, refusing to remember how he ended up injured, and screaming every time anybody neared him. He used to wake up in the middle of the night crying and shouting incoherent things. The doctors told us that he was suffering from a ‘Post Traumatic Stress Disorder’. We were advised to keep him away from everything that would remind him of that incident. And so, as soon as his condition became a bit better we moved to Tokyo. At the hospital here, we were told that they suspected our boy to have developed a condition in which his body was not capable of handling too much stress and they had to place him on more medications to counter that but despite all of that treatment, there was still a chance he could lose his life in an instant,”
 

Mrs Nakajima sighed.
 

“They told us there was a problem they couldn’t detect until an ‘attack’ happens but they were giving him treatment to reduce the severity and strengthen his body…,”
 

Her voice broke as she clenched her hands together.

“I was cleaning his room yesterday and I found a huge store of pills in a drawer,”
 

“What?” Keito gasped.
 

“He was not regular with his medications…they say my baby’s weak now…he’s always been weak but we never thought that it could kill him,” she choked.
 

Keito covered his mouth with a hand before falling back onto the bench. Ryutaro was crying silently next to him, trying to hide his tears beneath his bangs.
 

“Can nothing be done anymore?”
 

They could see how badly her hands were trembling and it carved a pit of dread within their hearts.
 

“We don’t know,” her husband replied quietly.
 

“The doctors keep saying that his situation has become so complicated that they’ve arranged for an entire group of specialist to sit together and analyze his condition, we’re waiting for the results of their meeting,”
 

Takaki stood up from his seat and walked over to her before leading her to his seat. Chinen offered her a bottle of mineral water as he secretly ended the call on his phone.
 

Keisuke stared at the phone in his hand in complete disbelief of what he had heard.
 

“Yuto,” he gasped. He grabbed the jacket lying on his bed and jammed his cap onto his head before rushing out of the apartment.
 

~*~
 

It had been almost two hours before the door of the room Yuto was being kept in swung open. They all stood as a man in a lab coat stepped out.
 

“Doctor?” Nakajima-san asked fearfully. He smiled at the couple gently.
 

“We’ve analyzed your son’s condition with the best of our ability, it turns out that the reason he collapsed was because of the formation of multiple clots in various blood vessels in his body, he was lucky non were the ones supplying his brain,”
 

“And?”
 

“We will have to perform a surgery, it will be long and complicated and because of his existing conditions…the frailty of his health…there is a major possibility he might not survive,”
 

Nakajima-san held his wife as she broke down.
 

“Is there no other way?” Hikaru asked, voice higher than he intended it to be. The doctor looked at him gravely.
 

“This operation has to be performed as quickly as possible, otherwise there will be no chance at all to save him, it’s risky but it’s a chance I 

would advice you take,”
 

“Then do it, please proceed immediately,” Nakajima-san urged. The doctor nodded.
 

“Preparations are being made as we speak sir, but we need you to know…that the surgery itself will cost quite a significant amount,”
 

Nakajima-san nodded.
 

“I understand,”
 

His wife looked at him bewildered.

“How much?” she asked in a low voice.
 

He whispered something in her ear which made her eyes widen. Takaki caught a trace of ‘million’.
 

“We will do our best to negotiate the price in your place but let’s care of that after the procedure,” the doctor assured them and they both 

nodded gratefully.
 

The boys fell into a silent reverie as Yuto’s father left with the doctor.
 

“He’ll live through this,” Hikaru sighed. Mrs Nakajima looked at him with teary eyes.
 

“He’s weak in body but not in spirit,”
 

Mrs Nakajima felt like she would break down in hysteria as she watched the boys fall into silent prayers and she closed her eyes.
 

Please…please save him…please send us an angel to watch over him.

 

She jerked as her phone buzzed. Answering the call, she heard her husband’s voice.
 

“I was about to head to the bank to work on a loan…,”
 

“What happened?”
 

“Somebody has already paid the price…the entire amount,”
 

Her surprised gasp alerted the company.
 

“Who?” she whispered, voice shaking.
 

“I’m not sure, but it’s not just the surgery dear, the treatment after that…everything’s been paid for,”
 

“Is everything alright aunty?” Keito asked as she hung up, still staring at the phone in disbelief. The price was out of their capability, even 

after the main surgeon has gone as far as not take fees for his services…they still had to pay the hospital and now…all of a sudden…who?
 

She nodded slowly, frowning at the strange feeling in her chest at the sound of approaching footsteps. She looked up at Keito’s voice.
 

“Keisuke? What are you doing here?”
 

Keisuke sighed as he watched how the woman’s face lit up as she saw him and he pushed aside the feeling of déjà vu. She choked, between a laugh and sob before rushing over to him and enveloping him in a motherly embrace.
 

“Thank you for coming back…Ryosuke.”
 

~*~

 

Chapter 34: Dear Drummerboy…from Ichigosama

Chapter Text

“We can forget about the carnival…JUMP is no band without its drummer….he’s the beat for this heart…there is no way I’m going to perform like this,”
 

Daiki took a deep breath, staring down at the obstinate guitarist curled up on the small couch.
 

“I understand Hikaru, but how would he feel if you guys threw away all your hard work like this? He wouldn’t want that!”
 

Hikaru pulled his knees closer to himself as he snuggled deeper into the couch. The morning sunrays imbued his apartment with their light and he was very well aware of the anxious gaze of his tall best friend who stood in the kitchenette, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He looked up to see the frown on Daiki’s face easing away as he sighed.
 

“I know this is a hard time for you…but Yuto’s out of harm’s way and as soon as he regains consciousness, we’ll all be there waiting for him,”
 

Hikaru buried his face in his knees, holding himself closer trying to ignore the internal struggle going on within him.
 

“Inoo’s already at the campus, overseeing the carnival and the others are within reach, I know they are still waiting silently for your instructions. Think about Yuto, his dream wasn’t just about him…it was for this band…look, he gave me this a few days before your final rehearsal and his attack,”
 

Hikaru looked up and took the sheet Daiki was offering to him. His eyes widened as he realized it was a score of a song they had heard Yuto sing on his drums before.
 

“Dash?”
 

“He told me that he had been working on this ever since the band had started and that it was written for the band. He had also said that he wanted you all to perform this song some day, even if he’s not with you anymore,”
 

Hikaru’s grip on the sheet tightened.
 

“But we don’t have anyone on drums,” he said hesitantly.
 

“We can use the beat from Inoo’s keyboard?” Yabu suggested immediately. Daiki nodded.
 

Hikaru stared at the sheet for a moment, eyes running over the lyrics, and a smile spread across his face.
 

The words…they were so…Yuto.
 

“Yosh, gather everyone Manager,”
 

“Ma..ma..manager?” Daiki stuttered as Hikaru got to his feet.
 

“Well, if you don’t mind that is,”
 

Daiki grinned.
 

“It will be my honor!”
 

~*~

 

“Remember the other boy I was talking about…Yuto’s friend who got shot and was never seen again?”


Keisuke smiled, remembering Nakajima-san’s words as she had held him close while speaking with the rest of the boys.

“He was as much as a son to me as Yuto and Raiya…still is,”

“It was a couple of years back when I turned the television on and by chance came across a commercial with a face I was so familiar with…he had change in turns of appearance…a lot…but the glint in his eyes and his beautiful smile had remained the exact same…for years I had kept quiet, within my mind fighting the urge to confirm my suspicion but when that boy from the television came to my home a couple of weeks back, I had known instantly,”


He had forgotten what it felt like to be in a mother’s arms until two days ago. He wondered where his own mother would be, and if she still thought about him.
 

He jerked slightly as he felt movement underneath his hand and he looked up at the face of the sleeping boy. With a mischievous smile he climbed up onto the bed, crawling to the foot end before shifting comfortably next to his legs, eyes locked upon his face.
 

Yuto opened his eyes slowly, blinking at the brightness of the room. He remembered having a pretty dream. It had been autumn and he had been on a hill overlooking a river. His band mates had been by the riverbank frolicking around their picnic spot. His parents had been walking along the river while Raiya played soccer with Ryutaro and Chinen. There was someone next to him too. They were talking about something he couldn’t really remember. He remembers calling the other person Ryosuke and ‘Ryosuke’ kept on telling him to hurry and wake up.
 

His sensations seemed to be waking up slowly, one after the other. He could hear the rhythmic beeps from a monitor by his side…it went along well with the soft thump thump of his own heart. He felt no pain but a strange sense of peace as he began tapping his fingers with the beeping. He heard a soft snigger and his eyes grew wide as he spotted the figure nestled with his head on his legs.
 

Oh..so that’s why they felt heavy.
 

He smiled.
 

“Hello,” he croaked.
 

“Hi,” the other replied.
 

“Um…what’s up?”
 

Keisuke laughed again.
 

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up,”
 

Yuto fell silent at that. Suddenly something hit him.
 

“What day is it today?”
 

“Sunday,”
 

“Wait, weren’t you supposed to leave for Korea today?”
 

Keisuke smiled sleepily.
 

“I got lazy,” he replied yawning. Yuto raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He then felt his heart grow heavy as he realized something else as well.
 

“Wait…I missed it didn’t I?”
 

Keisuke blinked at him.
 

“No, not really, it’s still 1o in the morning, Inoo-kun said that the band’s performance is not until after lunch,”

“So I can still make it!” Yuto exclaimed. Keisuke shook his head.
 

“You almost died idiot, and you went through a 7-hour surgery…although it’s a miracle…the way you’re condition improved after that…so please have some pity for yourself and give your body the rest it deserves,”
 

“But…it’s our big break…,”
 

“I can’t believe you’re actually pouting,”
 

“Please please Ryo-chan, help me break out of here and get to the carnival on time!”
 

Yuto felt nervous at the way Keisuke stared at him, afraid that the boy would reject helping him.
 

“I know it sounds absurd…,” he began but fell silent as Keisuke sat up.
 

“What did you call me?” the other gasped, eyes wide in disbelief. Yuto bit his lip as he realized his mistake.
 

“I’m sorry, slip of my tongue,”
 

He was taken aback as Keisuke began to blink back tears.
 

“Man, you really are a crybaby…,” Yuto commented only to have an envelope thrown at him.
 

“Read the letter idiot!” Keisuke snapped jumping off the bed and whipping out his cell phone.
 

“Oh,”
 

Yuto fumbled with the material, ripping it, in the end, to pull out the well-neglected letter.

Dear Drummerboy,

I’m sorry for the way Taro-san behaved towards you, I shouldn’t have left the two of you alone. He is like that, a bit harsh, a bit blunt but that man is an excellent judge of character and talent and even after making you the victim of his sharp speech he told me that you were a diamond in the rough.

That is something…coming from Taro-san. I was soooooooooooo jealous. The only time he complimented me was when I cut my hair…he told me it made me look younger 0_o.

So, yeah I’m leaving the country soon and I felt like you needed to know something before I did. I would’ve told you in person but you had to choose now to act like an overemotional brat…no offence.


Yuto glared at Keisuke who was now pacing back and forth, in a heated debate with somebody on the phone. Then he left the room, leaving Yuto to resume his reading.
 

I don’t have my memories of my childhood. I was raised by Okamoto-san as his own son and life with him and Keito is all that I remember. I promised you that I would bring your best friend back with that badge, but I don’t think I can be completely successful.

I know you know…it shows even though you deny it so blatantly on the surface. But it just confuses me, how can I be your childhood friend if I have no memories from that time? It made me feel guilty…I didn’t want to earn your friendship just out of an obligation to continue a past relationship. I wanted to start over…if we could’ve been friends then…couldn’t we still become friends now?

I’m an idiot I know…but there’s not much I can do about it…for now. I don’t really know what else to say…except good luck for the future. I’m sorry for anything I might have done that might have offended you and I’m really looking forward to having you as a rival on stage…

It’ll be fun I think.

Take care ne…

Ichigosama ^^

“Yuto-kun…I’ve talked to the doctor and he said…,”
 

Keisuke froze at the door as he saw the boy already dressed and on his feet, searching for a comb.
 

“Even if they say no…I would still go you know that,” he said quietly as he found one and ran it through his hair. He admitted that his body still felt a little lethargic, but with every move he felt as if his body was restarting.
 

Keisuke folded his arms and shook his head.
 

“They said only if you promised to come back as soon as you’re done…apparently some adrenaline would be good to get your body normal again…you’re a weird kid you know that Nakajima?”
 

Yuto grinned.

“Well, at least I don’t have a weird strawberry fetish or sleep with a night light,”
 

Keisuke turned bright red as Yuto approached him.
 

“How…how did you know that?”
 

Yuto stared at him for a while, reflecting on everything that had happened in the past few months. Those feelings...the deja vu...them getting to know each other and then meeting...it was all fate wasn't it?

"What are you staring at you Tower-,"

Keisuke was silenced as the taller boy pulled him into a tight hug. He felt the warm tears wetting his shoulder and stubbornly held back his own.
 

“You might not have memories from your past…but I do…and believe me…I don’t think much has changed about you,”
 

Keisuke dabbed a stray tear with a finger as Yuto sniffed audibly before pulling back and wiping his face at the back of his sleeve.

Finally...
 

“Now…,” Yuto began, eyes bloodshot yet glinting with determination.
 

“Let’s get me to the carnival!”
 

~*~

Chapter 35: Dreams and Drumsticks

Chapter Text

I asked the person inside of me
What do you want to do?
Keep going or stop
You're free to choose either one

 

He clutched his trembling hands together, frowning as the tremors remained. He leaned back into the luxurious seat with his eyes upon the road outside, biting his lip at the anxiety gnawing at his insides.

“Taro-san, really, I can’t express how grateful I am,”

“It’s not a problem Keisuke, I was passing by anyway,”

Yuto jumped slightly as he felt warm fingers around his cold ones.

“You okay?”

He nodded vigorously before changing his mind and then shook it just as violently.

“Do you want to go back to the hospital?”

“No….no…that’s not it…I think I’m just nervous…,”

Keisuke smiled.

“You’ll do great…trust yourself,”

Yuto sighed and stared at his hands.

“Taro-san…do you mind if Yuto warms up?”

The man standing next to his driver shook his head with a chuckle. The tinted partition then rose to close off the backseat.

“How am I going to warm up?” Yuto asked confused as Keisuke whipped out his Ipod and plugged the earphones into Yuto’s ears. Kumo no Ito began playing.

“I remember seeing you air drumming in the train,”

Yuto laughed, getting the idea.

 

~*~

 

The massive university campus had been decorated with all the colours of a festival. Banners and buntings hung over the crowds that flitted from one stall to another, enjoying what the students had prepared. The air was thick with the noise of the happening and the smell of piping hot takoyaki wafted freely, tempting hungry visitors.

However, amongst the crowd of happy people, one woman had worry etched into her features as she stood rather stiffly, eyeing the large poster of the band performing at 2 0’clock…15 minutes from now.

“Nakajima-san?”

The woman turned at the sound of a rather familiar voice. Although she hadn’t heard it in a while, she could still connect it with the woman that was rushing to him through the mass of people.

“Yamada-san?”

“Hisashiburi!”

The old friends embraced dearly but then Yamada-san immediately became alert at the panic on her friend’s face.

“Ara…what’s the matter?”

“My...my…,”

Her eyes widened as she spotted two figures standing in close range from them; a teenage girl sporting a boyish cut and a young woman who was staring at her curiously. They were soon joined by a lady around Nakajima-san’s age and another young woman.

“Is that Chichiro…and Misaki?”

Yamada-san nodded happily.

“Yes they are, and the other two over there are our family friends. Takaki-san used to be our neighbor back in Canada and that is Yuu, her eldest, they are here looking for a young family member, and so I brought them to this Carnival since, well look at all these people! We got tickets from one of my husband’s associates,”

“Takaki Yuya?”

The woman’s eyes widened and she almost dashed towards Nakajima-san.

“Am I right?” Nakajima-san exclaimed in disbelief. He was the only Takaki she knew and the surname brought him into her mind.

“Do you know my son?” the woman asked shakily. Nakajima-san held her hand in assurance.

“Please stay for this band’s performance…you too Yamada-san…I think today might be a blessed day for both of you.”

~*~
 

“Is everybody ready?” Hikaru asked.
 

Yabu, Takaki, Inoo and Keito gave him a thumbs-up. Daiki seemed to be doing some weird breathing exercises. They all chuckled.
 

Chinen and Ryutaro, who had happily tagged along for support, looked at each other and shrugged.
 

“Ari-chan?” Inoo called out playfully.
 

“Shut it, this is much easier on the radio okay?” the boy snapped. Yabu ran his sight over the arched confinements of this little tent next to the stage. He could hear the noise of a gathering crowd outside.
 

A young man descended the stairs of the stage into their tent and tapped Daiki nervously.
 

“You’re up Arioka-kun!”
 

Daiki nodded stiffly before making his way up the stage.
 

“Good afternoon Tokyo!” he bellowed into the mic garnering screams from the crowd.
 

“Alright, instruments are already on stage and we’ve done our sound checks…now let’s do a member check,” Hikaru sighed standing with 

his back facing them and holding up his hand, counting down as his members announced their presence.
 

“Lead Vocals,”
 

“Check,”
 

“Guitar One,”
 

“Check,”
 

“Guitar Two,”
 

“Check,”
 

“Keyboard,”
 

“Check,”
 

“Drums,”
 

“Check,”
 

Hikaru put down his hand and adjusted the strap around his guitar before jolting to realization. He whirled around and joined the shocked members as they stared at a beaming, but completely out of breath Yuto.

 

Nothing will happen if you just stand there
I want to show you
This superb world when you're dreaming

 

“What…how?”

 

“Don’t worry…doctors said I need to get a little crazy,” he replied with a chuckle as Keisuke passed him his drumsticks. He gave his brother a thumbs-up which was enthusiastically replied.

“Come on lovelies,” Yuto chirruped twirling the drumsticks between his fingers and feeling the rush of adrenaline flowing into him. The air-drumming in the car had gotten him a little hyper.
 

“Are you sure?” Hikaru asked, concerned.
 

Yuto nodded with a smile.
 

“And now please welcome…JUMP!”
 

As the boys ran up the stage and took their positions, it gave them a sudden tug of fear at the sea of faces gazing up at them.
 

Hikaru gulped audibly. Of all the visualizations he had attempted, nothing could have ever amounted to this. It was a blur at first sight. They were all gazing up at him in silence, in anticipation. He also did not fail to notice crew members from the national channel and their rolling cameras. He cleared his throat and flinched as it was amplified in the microphone. He swallowed painfully before opening his mouth to speak.
 

“Ladies and Gentleman, we would like to thank you for giving us your time and attention and very quickly, Jump is Yaotome Hikaru,”
 

“Takaki Yuya,”
 

“Inoo Kei,”
 

“Yabu Kota,”
 

“Okamoto Keito,”
 

“Nakajima Yuto dess!”
 

“Our first song for today…is Kumo no Ito,”
 

Yuto found his hands moving as if they had never stopped. Inoo and Yabu were swaying as they jammed on their instruments. Hikaru had a look of utmost concentration on his face and Keito…he was just comfortable jamming on his guitar. Takaki’s voice was low and smooth, reverberating in the vicinity. There was thunderous applause as soon as they were done and the crowd began chanting for an encore. Yuto smiled as he spotted Karen and her gang…the girl staring dreamily at Takaki. The noise, the people, the music from the speakers…it was making him excited by the minute. He wiped the sweat off his brow and took off his jacket, earning a couple of screams from the crowd before they began playing the requested song for the second time.
 

As soon as they were done, Yuto spotted his ashen-faced parents and hyper brother among the sea of faces and blew them a kiss. He felt his heart stop in his chest though as Hikaru began speaking again.
 

“Our next song was written by our drummer, the most amazing young man I have ever met,”
 

Yuto was gaping at Hikaru who continued talking without a backward glance. He saw the others smiling at him. He couldn’t believe it…they were really going to sing…his song?
 

“Minna-san…two days ago, our energetic drummer and the co-founder of this band was fighting for his life…it is a miracle that he is here with us today. He has always been a young man with exceptional strength and will and it shows in the lyrics of this song. So without further ado, to add more vigor into our music we would like to invite the rest of our team…Yuri, Ari-chan, Ryutaro-kun, and Yamada Ryosuke-kun to come and sing along, so please listen to…Dash,”
 

Nakajima-san smiled at the look of disbelief on Yamada-san’s face as she pointed to the boy with the mask and a navy blue cap.
 

“There’s your boy,”
 

Yuto gaped as Keisuke passed by him, a mic in hand. He whispered a little ‘surprise’ before taking a position right behind Keito, greeting his brother by pulling his mask down quickly and sticking his tongue out at him. Keito rolled his eyes. Hikaru smiled as they all took their positions and placed his hand on the microphone as he spoke only to his team.
 

“We’re all in this today…and for always…this is our dream, a dream that started with a guitar and a pair of drumsticks and we will achieve 

it…together.”
 

“Let’s show the world what we can do.”
 

~*~

 

 

A/N: The lyrics in italics is the eng translation of Dash. There is an epilogue...short one though...it's an OkaMori phonecall XD
 

Chapter 36: Epilogue

Chapter Text


Ryutaro stared at his phone, keeping it at a distance as the loud exchange on the other end of the line hurt his ear. He bowed apologetically at the waiting passengers around him.

Keito caught the phone as it plummeted through the air, falling onto Keisuke’s lap in the process.

“Sorry Ryu, Yuto had a little too much sugar just now,” he said, trying to steady his breath.

“I thought you guys were watching the news?” Ryutaro muttered annoyed.

Keito looked up to see Keisuke and Yuto staring down at him and he straightened himself up, squeezing into his end of the couch, leaving
the two to resume their squabbling.

“Well, how long till you board?”

Ryutaro sighed.

“They say 15 more minutes…this is seriously scary, I can’t believe Keisuke would leave me on my own…with your dad to go to an entirely
new country by myself,”

“You have your brother with you,”

“Doesn’t make a difference, the brat’s sitting all the way across the waiting hall surrounded by ladies kyaa-ing over how he’s the most adorable thing in the world,” grumbled the young teen.

Keito chuckled.

“Now that’s an Idol,”

“Oh shut up Keito,”

“Wasn’t Chinen tagging along too?”

“Yeah…but he’s disappeared somewhere…,”

“Hmm…I still can’t believe Keisuke gave up going to Korea though,” Keito said quietly shuffling over to the kitchen as the two boys next to him had started throwing popcorns at each other.

“Well, he did kinda spent all of his allowance…and most of his savings…and borrowed some from the company…you don’t expect the company to still finance a trip for him,”

Keito sighed.

“I’m glad he found his real family though, oh and Takaki-kun too,”

“Yeah…,”

“Last few months have been like a dream...I can’t believe we’ve already signed a contract…with Keisuke’s label…I mean…it just doesn’t feel real,”

Keito smiled as he heard Ryutaro yawn on the other side.

“Well be thankful…but what I still can’t believe is that that DJ’s actually going to end up becoming your manager in the end…I mean I heard he’s being placed under training,”

“Oh yeah…Dai-chan’s really passionate about the band, I know he’ll take really good care of us,”

“My dad was pretty depressed after Hikaru-kun shifted to his new place…he was pretty fond of him you know. He moved in with Inoo-chan and Yabu-kun right?”

“Yep, they have a small soundproof studio attached to their new apartment…apparently Inoo-chan designed the whole place…that’s going to be our practice room now,”

“Cool…oh…they’ve just made the boarding call…I’ll contact you after we land in Seoul,”

“Roger.”

“Oh…,”

“What’s wrong Ryu?”

“Arashi’s on this flight,”
 

“Really?”
 

“Now I know where Chinen disappeared to, I’ll talk to you later Keito, gotta go make sure he doesn’t make a fool of himself,”
 

“Haha…okay…ja.”
 

Keito was still smiling as he ended the call but then jumped as an empty plastic bowl knocked his phone from his hand.
 

He threw a glare to the two figures peeking up fearfully from behind the couch and sighed.
 

“Why me?”

 

~*~

 

Notes:

Jump are not an idol group in this story and for now have only five members. The fic is mostly Yuto-centric.