Everything was going so well, too, before the bedsheets caught on fire.
If there should be anything to distract him at the tea ceremony with his re-found mother, let it be the amorous spark in Mai's eyes; if there was to be any dishonour now that he had been restored to his birthright, let it be a lapse in the chastity of betrothal. She grinned lasciviously when he cracked open the door to her clandestine knock. Good, he thought, she's a different creature when not under Azula's thumb. So good, he couldn't stop marveling at, to discover the warmth of that pale skin, the heat trapped inside her lotus-blossom mouth, the jagged edge not of daggers but teeth playing at his earlobe.
"This is NOT GOOD!" Mai shrieked as flames sprang up out of the spot directly to her right, kickstarting some martial instinct that had her instantly rolling over Zuko's body and onto the floor, where he promptly landed on top of her. She shoved him off with a growl that was nothing like the playful purrs of only moments earlier. "Futsu-Nushi's nuts, what is wrong with you?!"
"It was an accident, I swear," he told her, "it's never...and, you know...I've never...."
"You're really not helping there, lordlet." Mai had recovered to a degree and was gathering herself cross-legged on the floor, feeling for singed hairs and eyeing the burned spot on the bed, which was still emiting the unpleasant odor of broiled silk. In her own scant silk draping and surveying herself for damage, Zuko felt she looked adorable and leaned across her lap to attempt a strictly metaphorical rekindlement of their abortive session on the bed, and stopped only because a sharp metal object was suddenly inches from his nose.
Where did she keep those things?
"I'm going to go get some sleep, and you're going to work on that, and never again will we speak of this" — Mai indicated the scorchmark and then their negligiable dress — "or this until our wedding night. I believe in you, Zuko," she said solemnly. "You would never make me hurt you for setting me on fire. Would you?"
...you freak? asked the resolute slam of the door.
Building himself a new bed out of pillows and trying to decide which direction of empty room he'd rather face, Zuko reflected that the list of things Iroh'd failed to teach him about really, really needed an update.