"All right, Goku. All finished," Hakkai says, setting his scissors down and removing the towel from around Goku's shoulders, careful not to make a mess.
"Thanks, Hakkai! It looks really good! Okay, I'm going to -- "
"You're going to wash up," Sanzo says, without looking up from his newspaper.
"Aw, Sanzo, do I hafta? I already did it last month, an' I -- "
"Nobody likes a stinky monkey, monkey."
"Shut up, you pervy 'roach! At least I don't smell like an ashtray!"
"Ha! Shows what you know, idiot. Your hair smells just as much like -- "
"Shut up! That's not my fault, it only smells like that because I have to be around you all the time, and that's not -- "
"Please, Goku," Hakkai says, with a small, long-suffering smile. "It's not everyday that we have the facilities for this."
"I'm sorry, Hakkai," Goku says, actually sounding abashed as he follows him over to the bathroom.
"That's quite all right," Hakkai says, reaching one hand up to his ear and removing his limiters.
"Aw, man," Goku murmurs, stepping all the way into the bathroom and well clear of the door. "I hate this part."
"Cheer up, monkey. The sooner you start, the sooner it's over with," Gojyo says, as he holds out his hand for Hakkai's limiters. "On three?" he asks Hakkai, who nods as he moves into the bathroom and closes the door most of the way. "One, two, thr-- "
"--ee," Gojyo says, catching Goku's limiter as Hakkai tosses it out of the bathroom, and just before Hakkai slams the heavy, teak door closed.
"There's got to be an easier way of doing this," he says, about to loop the diadem over his arm and then thinking better of it.
"You're already doing it the easy way, moron," Sanzo grunts.
It's true. Hakkai's the one left to take care of the detail -- as always -- and all he can do is stand around and put him back together again afterwards.
"It'd be easier if you let him buy the stuff you just leave in overnight, you cheap monk," he says, raising his voice slightly so that it can be heard over what sounds like something very small and very, very angry being drowned.
"Still has to be washed," Sanzo says, unapologetically.
"Yeah, but this way he only has to do it once, instead of -- "
There's another roar and a crash from inside, and both he and Sanzo flinch slightly as the floor shudders.
"You already made sure there wasn't any -- "
"No glass, no sharp objects, no fixtures that can be easily broken off..." Gojyo says, ticking things off on his fingers. "It's solid stone on the inside, and -- "
This time, there's a wail as though something small and very, very angry is also unhappy about something.
"I did ask you to keep your eyes closed," he can hear Hakkai chiding. There's a short scuffle, the sound of something hitting a stone wall, and then a bucket of water being emptied, at which point the wailing stops.
" -- okay, get ready," he says, shifting away from the door slightly.
"Conditioner," Sanzo says, without moving a muscle. "He has to repeat everything."
"Which he wouldn't if you weren't such a cheapsk-- No, it sounds as if they're really done. Get ready," he says, reaching for the door.
Sanzo snorts, but starts to chant anyway, and Gojyo pulls the door open by the time he's got to the 'ha' in 'hatsu'.
The Seiten Taisei comes flying out of the bathroom as if he's been launched, trailing vines and getting within milimetres of Gojyo's face before Sanzo 'Makai Tenjou's him into submission.
Trailing vines? And it's only then that he sees that Hakkai's managed to wrestle deep-conditioning foils onto the Seiten Taisei's hair, tied in place with his vines, which he slowly unwinds as the Seiten slumps to the floor.
"Please be careful with that, Gojyo," Hakkai says, wringing water out of his sleeves as Gojyo manoeuvres Goku's limiter on without disrupting any of the foils.
Those alien features shift back at once into the familiar, stupid monkey who snuffles something unintelligible and then rolls over to sleep on the floor. The dirty floor. With shiny clean hair. Hakkai looks down at him and his mouth tightens slightly.
"Oi, you shitty monk. Give me a hand here," he says, as he lifts Goku and moves him over to one of the beds. Sanzo looks as if he's about to flip him off, but when Hakkai sighs tiredly and collapses into a nearby chair, he finally moves to pull the covers back on Goku's bed so that Gojyo can slip him into it. "At least that's over for another month."
"You know he wouldn't have to wash his hair as often if you smoked less."
"If I -- ! As if you're in any position to preach to me, you -- "
"You're the one that sits next to him, idiot. It's your smoke that -- "
"You're the one that sits in front of him, Princess. If anything, it's being blown directly onto his head as we -- "
"Ah," Hakkai sighs theatrically, "perhaps you could both make an effort, since you're so eager to help." Gojyo is crazily aware that Hakkai's limiters are still in his hand, and that Hakkai's showed no sign of wanting them back. "Now," Hakkai says, smiling a genuine smile -- which is all the more freaky for being genuine -- as he reaches for the scissors, "who's next?"