There. That was the whole "Galactus is Santa and also the rest of the holidays are fucked up even weirder" fixed.
And Santa made a killer hot cocoa, wow. That was going to be the only thing Gwen was ever going to ask from Santa forever, because seriously, wow. WOW.
Still. Gwen felt a little sad that she wasn't going to get to celebrate all the other holidays. A lot of them had sounded really fun. Especially Pantsgiving.
And to be entirely honest, new holidays meant new traditions and new traditions meant she wouldn't be reminded of home and how she wasn't there and how her parents didn't even -- Well, she wouldn't be reminded of home at every turn and that was a bonus.
Maybe she should make that her gift from Santa? Nah. That hot cocoa was just too good to pass up.
Just because Santa was back to being Santa and not Galactus was no excuse not to celebrate all the other holidays. Listen. Pantsgiving was the perfect holiday, okay, and not even the resetting of the universe was going to stop her from celebrating.
Pantsgiving day was all day every day, as far as Gwen was concerned.
Hell, she'd been wearing Pantsgiving pants as part of her costume without knowing it this whole time. It was time the rest of the team got in on the fun.
"Hiya!" Crazy Pink Girl said.
"Shop closed," Ronnie said. "Ronnie busy."
"Too busy for Pantsgiving?"
"Too busy for crazy pink girl. You leave now." Ronnie pushed her towards the door.
"No no no! Wait! I want to buy stuff!" Always Crazy Pink Girl wanted to buy stuff. Never just said 'hello' to Ronnie.
"Crazy pink girl is paying?"
"Ronnie is not satisfied with 'maybe'." Never Crazy Pink Girl paid. Big tab, Crazy Pink Girl.
"Come on! Just put it on my tab."
"Crazy pink has big tab." Ronnie spread her hands. "Biiiiiiiiiig tab."
"So what's a little more? Come on, it won't even take much fabric. I just need you to make some hotpants."
"Ronnie already make crazy pink girl hotpants." Crazy Pink Girl was wearing Ronnie's hotpants.
Crazy Pink Girl shook her head. "Nah, not for me. For my friends. It's Pantsgiving, you know?"
"Ronnie does not know. Pantsgiving not a thing."
"Oh. Yeah, right. For Pantsgiving you give people hotpants." Crazy Pink Girl nodded.
"Crazy pink girl is crazy but Ronnie likes Pantsgiving. Hotpants go on tab." Good money to be made with Pantsgiving. Maybe Pantsgiving good for business. Crazy Pink Girl with really big tab maybe not so crazy -- tab still very big.
Crazy Pink Girl described hotpants for her friends. Five hotpants, four friends.
"Last one for you. Happy Pantsgiving, Ronnie!"
Okay. Maybe Pantsgiving a thing.
"Hey, Batroc?" Gwen asked through the door to his room.
He got up and opened the door. "Yes?"
"Here." She shoved a packaged wrapped in very pink paper at him. It had an even pinker big bow on top. It sparkled.
"It is not my birthday," he said.
"Just accept the gift, dude." She shoved the gift further into his personal space.
He took the package. It was pliable -- probably clothing of some sort. He opened it. It was clothing. It was a pair of very short shorts.
"Thank you," he said, even though pink was really not his colour.
"Go try it," Gwen said. "I'm not sure I got the right size and Ronnie said she wouldn't make me pay any resizing if I brought it in by the end of the day."
It was mid-afternoon. He went back inside his room and changed. As expected from Ronnie, the short shorts were his size.
He walked back out. "To what do I owe this honour?"
"Pantsgiving!" She smiled, wide, bright and a little worried.
Pantsgiving wasn't something he'd ever heard of, but Gwen liked to say she was from a different universe, maybe it was a thing there and it was nice of her to think of him.
"Thank you," he said. "And happy Pantsgiving."
He made it a point of honour to wear the short shorts the whole day long. It was Pantsgiving, after all.
Tony looked up from his book to see Gwen grinning at him like the cat who caught the canary from across the table. She had her fingers interlocked and her chin resting on them and she was grinning really wide. It was kind of scary, actually.
"Tony! This is for you," she said. She slid a bright pink gift to him.
"For me? Wow! Thank you." Tony carefully started unwrapping the present. He had no idea what was inside and didn't want to damage it accidentally.
It was a pair of hotpants. Bright pink, of course, because they were from Gwen.
"Thank you?" Gwen's face fell, so Tony added, "They're great! I'm just wondering why you're giving them to me."
"Pantsgiving, of course." Gwen's grin was back full force.
"Of course. I'll go try them on." He went to the bathroom to do so. They had a little tag in the back saying Ronnie had made them for him, so at least he didn't have to worry about his nylon allergy.
He returned to the main room. He felt faintly ridiculous, but Gwen was also wearing the hotpants and so was Batroc, who'd arrived while Tony was away to put his feet up on the table and read the newspaper.
"Looking good, Mega Tony," Gwen said.
"Very Pantsgiving-y," Batroc said.
"Thanks," Tony said. "You too. Happy Pantsgiving."
The Terrible Eye walked into the main room to see Batroc, Mega Tony and Gwen all wearing hotpants of the exact same awful shade of pink. Batroc was reading the newspaper, Mega Tony was reading a book and Gwen was flipping through channels on the television. It could have been a perfectly ordinary scene of their life, except that Batroc and Tony were wearing bright pink hotpants -- Gwen wearing hotpants, especially pink ones, was not unusual in any way.
Having seen, she Saw. Before she could See much, Gwen was on her feet and hugging her.
"Here's your Pantsgiving gift." Gwen handed her the gift and whispered, "Also I'm going to need your help with giving Cecil his."
The Terrible Eye accepted the gift in its shiny wrapping paper and went to put it on. It was very important to wear Pantsgiving gifts. The pants, the wrapping paper and the fabric universe all agreed on that.
Sarah returned to the main room clad in neon pink hotpants and a black long-sleeved T-shirt. Wearing the Terrible Eye with the hotpants was a bad idea. Pink was not the new black.
"I had Ronnie make Cecil some hotpants," Gwen said. "But... he's a ghost. So, I need your help. If that's okay?"
Sarah smiled at her. "It wouldn't be in the spirit of Pantsgiving, if I said no, would it?"
"A gift? For me? That's nice, guys but I'm a ghost." Cecil looked sadly at the package.
"We know," Batroc said.
"So, we used magic," Sarah said.
"And science!" Tony interjected.
"And we made you a gift you can wear," Gwen said. "Happy Pantsgiving!"
Cecil could indeed wear the gift (and he definitely wasn't crying with gratitude). "Thanks, everyone. And Happy Pantsgiving!"