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Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2016-12-21
Words:
390
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
13
Kudos:
350
Bookmarks:
35
Hits:
2,203

ROMANCE!!

Summary:

Papyrus and Sans sit down and watch a little television together. Or, more accurately, Papyrus binge watches his period dramas over the course of three days and slowly drives Sans mad.

Notes:

fluff! i love fluff. always room for it. a simple, lighthearted little thing crossposted from my tumblr. papyrus is papyrus-ing very hard in this one, i love exploring sans and papyrus being cool bros

Work Text:

“GOD, IT’S… IT’S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL, SANS!!”

Papyrus blew his nasal bone into a fistful of tissues, before breaking down into sobs again as Sans watched the entire affair play out with grim amusement. He looked to the television and saw nothing but swooning and bodices. Too-frilly dresses and–- wow that was a tit. Sans cared a lot more, suddenly. 

“THE PASSION, THE ROMANCE! IS THERE ANYTHING QUITE SO SPECTACULAR?” 

“i make a mean gumbo.” 

“SANS, THAT’S UNFAIR. THE SPECTACULAR NATURE OF YOUR GUMBO WAS NEVER IN QUESTION, WE CAN’T COMPARE THE TWO. BUT I’M TALKING… ABOUT LOVE!!” 

Sans had dozed off during most of the plot, which seemed to consist of women turning away in anguish after being slighted, and men with cravats looking forlornly at ponds, before they both danced at each other in violent civility and crackling sexual tension that was finally going somewhere. 

“i’m just glad they’re finally doing something about it,” Sans grumbled, adjusting himself on the couch while Papyrus settled into the crook he had made with several blankets. “i was going nuts. nothing was happening.” 

“I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW A GREAT DEAL WAS HAPPENING!”

talking?” 

“TALKING IS A HAPPENING! AND NOW THEY’RE MAKING PURE, UNTAINTED LOVE! THERE’S NO CYNICISM, NO MALICE, JUST A GOVERNESS AND HER CICISBEO!

Sans looked at him, close to dozing off again. 

“how long were you waiting to roll that word out?” 

“ONLY TWO MONTHS! AND I’LL THANK YOU TO BE QUIET DURING THIS PIVOTAL SCENE! AN UNBLEMISHED EXPRESSION OF INTIMACY BETWEEN THE GOVERNESS AND THE HANDSOME, SWEATY COUNT, WHO THOUGHT HE COULD NO LONGER FIND JOY IN THE ARMS OF ANOTHER! I’M CRYING AGAIN!”

And true to his word, he was. 

“AFTER ONLY SEVENTEEN EPISODES OF WAITING, SHE’S FINALLY–” 

“mashing pissers.” 

Papyrus took the remote, turned off the television, coiled the blanket around himself until he was an impenetrable cocoon of warmth, and gave Sans a dry, upbraiding look. 

“I’M GOING TO GO SIT IN MY ROOM FOR A WHILE AND FACE THE WALL UNTIL THE PHRASE ‘MASHING PISSERS’ WORKS ITS WAY THROUGH MY THOUGHT PROCESS AND FINALLY LEAVES.” 

“it paints a picture.” 

“IT DOESN’T JUST PAINT A PICTURE, IT TAKES A PHOTOGRAPH AND SHOVES ITSELF INTO MY EYESOCKETS UNTIL IT COMES SMASHING OUT THE BACK OF MY SKULL.” 

“i have more.”

“PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME THEM.”