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Mockingbird

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Harry and Louis are sat at their kitchen table eating the dinner that Harry prepared for them. Harry is feeling nauseas because he took a pregnancy test that morning and it was positive. Unfortunately he isn’t feeling sick from the baby, at least he doesn't think so, he is more worried about telling Louis. He knows all Louis’ time and energy is put into building his music career. They can barely afford to support themselves, let alone a freaking baby. Harry isn’t ready to be a parent, he’s only nineteen! He knows he has to tell Louis eventually so it’s now or never.

 

“Babe what are you thinking about, you look stressed,” Louis asks. He can read his husband like a book. And he knows something is troubling him.

 

“Um..” he closes his mouth, then opens it repeatedly. The words don’t come to the surface.

 

“You're scaring me H, what’s up? You can tell me anything, you know that.”

 

Harry looks down at his fingers and starts idly playing with them, a nervous habit. Louis sees this and reaches across the table and grabs his hand.

 

“......i’m pregnant...” Harry whispers so quietly Louis missed it.

 

“I can’t hear you babe, speak up please” Louis begs.

 

“I’m pregnant okay, there I said it,” Harry takes his hand away from Louis’ and just stares into his lap.

 

Louis’ face is blank. “Are you sure?” 

 

“I took a test, and I’ve been throwing up all morning so it’s kind of obvious” Harry sighs out.

 

“What are we going to do?” Louis asks.

 

“I don’t know,” Harry says “Are you mad?”

 

Louis scowls “Why would I be mad Harry, its OUR child.”

 

“I know, but you know we aren’t ready and we can’t afford it! Not with everything going on. Your always playing gigs and working at the Pub. I’m going to have to drop out of school and work at the bakery full time until it’s born!” Harry is a sobbing mess right now, he starts to hyperventilate. 

 

Louis rushes to go hug his young husband, “Baby calm down. Everything will be fine, we’ll work it out like we always do. Your body is under a lot of stress already, so you need to breathe.” Harry continues to sob into his husband’s chest. “You don’t have to drop out of school, you can switch to online so you can stay home. And my gigs are starting to pick up a bit so maybe you won’t have to work as much when you are further along.” Louis kisses Harry on the top of his head and rubs his back. “It’s you and me against the world remember, and now we can add another superhero to our team!” Harry chuckles, “That’s what I like to hear. Not to worry babe alright?” “Alright. I’m excited to see how they turn out. I hope it looks like you” Harry says as he looks up at Louis. “Well I hope they look like you!” Louis says as he taps Harry on the nose. Louis dips his head and gives Harry a long sweet kiss, “I love you and I’m happy that I am having a baby with you.” Louis says. “Yeah you owe me.” Harry says cheekily. 

 

 

Present Day

 

“DADDY!!!!!!!!” Louis hears identical high pitched screams just as he feels two little bodies crash into his legs. He barely has time to walk into his mother’s house before he crouches down and hugs his little girls with everything in him. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry but having them in his arms makes it very hard to keep that promise. He kisses them both on the side of their little six year old heads. Turns out they are the perfect mixture of him and Harry. They have wavy brown hair with blueish green eyes, and are the most beautiful little girls to exsist. “Hey babies, I missed you so much,” Louis’ heart could burst with happiness. “Let me look at you two! Have you grown?! Soon you’re going to be taller than me!” 

 

“We’ll be tall like Papa! Not you Daddy, you're short stuff!” Halle (pronounced Hal-Lee) giggles out. Out of the twins Halle is exactly like Louis. “Daddy it’s okay that your small, your fun size like candy.” Louise says sweetly. While Louise is more like Harry at least in the charm department. “How about we go find your Nan, hm” The twins each grab a hold of their father’s hands and drag him towards the living room. Louis sees his Mother sleeping sitting up on the couch with a children’s show playing in the background on the tv. He wakes her up by giving her a light kiss on her head. “Oh Louis when did you get in sweetheart,” She says still a little drunk with sleep. “Sleeping on the job are we Mum” Louis laughs. “Those children of yours wear me out more than you ever did.” “I just came in a minute ago” Louis sits down “You girls want to go play?” “No daddy we want to sit with you.” Louise says. “Yeah we missed you daddy.” Halle follows. The little family squeeze on to the recliner next to the couch Jay was sitting on. “How was the end of the tour?” Jay asks. “It was bittersweet. I love being on the road but I hate having to leave them here. Especially when I am not here to protect them from you know who.” Louis is grateful his babies are distracted by the telly so they aren’t focused on their conversation. “He called the other day,” Jay sighs, “He was asking for them.” “As long as he wasn’t around them he isn’t violating his restraining order,” Louis sneers. “Is he getting any better?” “I don’t know, I’ve given him too many chances to care anymore.” “Sweetie you have to care.” “I know Mom, but I don’t trust him anymore. Do you know what that’s like? Not being able to trust someone you used to share a life with?” Jay’s silence says enough. “I’m sorry Mom, he gets me very aggravated, you know that. “Yeah sweetie I know.” “Daddy?” Louise says. “Yeah baby.” “Don’t be sad.” “How can I be sad when I have my two favorite people in my arms!?” Louis says lightly tickling his daughter. Hearing his kids laugh makes all his anger for his ex-husband dissipate and he finds himself silently thanking him for the gift that is their girls. 

 

-

 

Once the young family got back from Louis’ mom’s house, Louis was back in single dad mode. Since he just got back home from traveling yesterday he didn’t go shopping since he slept all day. So he just ordered a pizza. “If you don’t want the pineapples give them to me Lou! I’ll eat them!” Halle told her sister. “Hehe when you pull them off it leaves holes in the cheese!” Louise squeals. Louis honestly missed just sitting around and admiring the little humans he helped make. Just hearing them talk non-sense was the highlight of his day alongside watching them grow up into beautifully kind people. Once the pineapple was dispersed, there was some comfortable silence until. BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ Louis looks down at his phone and sees a number he doesn’t recognize. 

 

“Hello?” he says.

 

“Hey Lou” Louis’ heart stops at hearing that low-gruff voice. He is so sick of his body reacting in any type of way to anything related to him. What the hell does he want!

 

“Why are you calling me?” Louis says trying to keep his cool in front of his kids that are oblivious to their father’s discomfort. 

 

“I wanted to know if you are bringing the girls to the hearing tomorrow?” Harry asks.

 

Louis’ blood begins to boil. He covers the mouthpiece of his phone. “Keep eating girls, I’ll be right back.” “Okay daddy” the girls say together. Louis walks into the laundry room far from the kitchen so he can proper scream at Harry over the phone. He vowed to never yell at his ex-husband in front of his daughters. They dealt with that enough as toddlers. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me Harry!? Why would I bring them anywhere near you ever again?!” Louis shouts.

 

“Louis I’m clean, I swear!” Harry pleads. 

 

“Oh yeah? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE HARRY?! Babe, I’m clean, I’m off it, I promise! My nose is bleeding because I ran into the wall! I’m not using, I spent that money on the girls I swear! 

 

“Louis I know you don’t believe me, but I have to take a drug test tomorrow to prove I’m fit to be around the babies again. I went to rehab! I don’t talk to any of the guys I was dealing from anymore. Lou I’m really trying here. I miss them so much, please!”

 

“I. DON’T. BELIEVE. YOU ANYMORE HARRY! I would trust a complete stranger with my kids before you.” There is silence on Harry’s end. Louis leans against the wall and sinks to the ground exhausted from shouting. He hears Harry sniffling, sadly he doesn’t think he is crying, just catching the drip from the lining of his nose like always. His tears used to break Louis’ heart, now things are so bad he doesn’t feel anything but ice cold hate.

 

“Louis please just bring them.....their my kids too.” Harrys says sadly. 

 

“Go fuck yourself Harold.” Louis hangs up. Louis sits for a minute and just leans his head against the wall and takes a deep breath. “I want a drink so bad,” he thinks. But not with the girls in the house, he will not be intoxicated with them here. He eventually pushes himself off the wall and goes back to the kitchen.

 

-

 

“Halle Jay, get into your bed young lady.” Louis pleads with his daughter that chooses to run around her and her sisters room right before bedtime.

 

“Daddy I don’t want to go to bed!” 

 

“I know you don’t baby, but Daddy has to get up really early to go meet with his lawyer. Remember Alyssa? You liked her.”

 

“Yeah she’s a nice lady!” 

 

“Yeah she is! So please follow your sister and lay in bed.”

 

“Daddy can you sing us one of your songs?” Louise asks shyly.

 

“Which one babes?”

 

“You and I?”

 

“Of course, Lou Lou.” Louis makes sure his babies are all tucked in and he sits in the rocking chair positioned between their twin beds.

 

 

 

I figured it out,

I figured it out from black and white

Seconds and hours,

Maybe they had to take some time

 

I know how it goes,

I know how it goes from wrong and right

Silence and sound

Did they ever hold each other tight

Like us?

Did they ever fight

Like us?

You and I

We don't wanna be like them

We can make it 'til the end

Nothing can come between

You and I

Not even the gods above

Can separate the two of us

No, nothing can come between

You and I

 

Oh, you and I

 

 

“Daddy?” Louise asks. “Yeah Lou Lou,” 

 

“I miss Papa..” she says sadly.

 

“Me too..” Halle adds “When will we get to see him?”

 

Louis hates having to be the one to tell the girls that they can’t see their father but that’s the hand he was dealt. 

 

“Babies, you can’t see Papa. He isn’t well, remember I told you?”

 

“When is he going to get better?” Louise says. Louis could hear the quiver in her voice so he knew she was crying. She is the most sensitive of the two. “I don’t know baby” Louis honestly answers. 

 

“Do you get to see him with Miss Alyssa again tomorrow?” Halle asks. She is too damn smart sometimes it’s scary.

 

“Yeah Hal, I’ll get to see him..” Louis explains

 

“Daddy that’s not fair!” Louise whines. 

 

“Hey! None of that okay. When Papa is feeling well enough for you two to see him you will, but not a moment before okay?”

 

“I want Papa, Daddy” Louise hiccups full on crying now.

 

Louis’ wonders if his heart can break anymore because of what this man has done to his kids.

 

“Doesn’t he care about us anymore Dad?” Halle whispers.

 

 

Louis thinks, “Ugh Harry Styles-Tomlinson damn him to hell!"