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Temptation, Frustration

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***

His office hours don't start until three o'clock, so Jeff frowns when there's a knock at his door a little after half past two. He won't ever turn a student away, but he really wishes they'd respect his schedule. This is his quiet reading time. Not at all his ‘jerk off thinking about his favourite student’ time.

Seriously, he’d never do that. Not in his office.

Before he can mutter a polite but reluctant 'come in,' someone is pushing the door open and barrelling through, leaving it wide open behind him.

“Hey, teach. How's tricks? Any favourites, this year?”

“Jensen,” Jeff smiles, flushing slightly. A social call, then. And he’s absolutely not going to tell Jensen anything at all about his ‘favourite’, this year. “It's two in the afternoon. Don't you have a job?”

Jensen smiles at that, sly and private and he nods slowly, like he's proud of himself. Of course he is. He’s young and stupid and thinks what he does is pretty cool. It’s not uncool, Jeff has to admit, but he’s got no more reason to pleased with himself than anyone else who works for a living.

“Got the day off. Some eighteen year old twink scraped up my dick with his braces. I need some recovery time.”

“Did you want something?” Jeff asks, rolling his eyes. “Or did you just come by to gloat that you're getting more action than I am?”

Of course, Jensen's a porn star, so it stands to reason. Hasn't stopped Jensen rubbing Jeff's nose in it so far. He's been in the same line of work since Jeff met him, back when Jensen was an undergrad history major. He took one of Jeff's anthropology classes his first year and for his first term essay he'd compared several panels of ancient Incan stone carvings to his latest movie.

He'd helpfully provided Jeff with the DVD, as a citation. Which Jeff still won't admit that he watched. Several times. Maybe still does.

For science.

“Dude, look at you,” Jensen scoffs, gesturing up and down at Jeff's clean shaven face, slicked back hair and plain Jane brown suit pants and coat, over a crisp white button down. He's wearing his thick-framed glasses and wing tips and the boldest part of his outfit – his tie – is a slightly lighter shade of brown than his suit. It's waffle print.

“I look professional.”

“You look like Indiana Jones' geek big brother. You know, if you showed up for class with a fedora and a whip, you'd be getting more tail than me. Hell, I'd have banged you.”

“You offered to,” Jeff points out.

“Eh,” Jensen shrugs, pushing some papers out of the way so he can sit down on the small love seat Jeff has in his office. He lets his legs fall open and he rests his right hand on his upper thigh, rubbing absently. “I was young and stupid.”

“You still are.” Twenty-five and putting his graduate degree and a promising career in psychology aside so that he can fuck on camera because his boyfriend does. “How's Matt, these days?”

“Walking funny,” Jensen smirks. He licks his lips and shoots Jeff a wink. “But no, he's good. Finally got into the nursing program across town. Starts in January.”

“Good for him,” Jeff says. It is good. It's good for Matt and it's good for Jensen. Maybe he'll go back to school now, too.

“Anyway,” Jensen says, shifting to get more comfortable and somehow ending up with his thumb and forefinger outlining the impressive bulge in his well worn jeans. “Haven't seen you in weeks. Thought we could hang out, maybe you could buy me lunch.”

“I'd love to,” Jeff answers. He really would, but, “I have office hours, starting...”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Now, I guess. Come on in, Jared.”

The student at the door smiles, from where he'd been standing awkwardly in the hallway.

“Hi, professor Morgan,” he says, stepping inside with his head ducked slightly. He’s blushing a little, like he’s nervous that he’s interrupted something and Jeff knows from experience that he must be smiling a little too wide, because Jared. Yeah. He’s going to Hell. Jail, first, if things go the way his penis wants them to. But then Hell.

And fuck. Jensen is going to take one look at his face when he looks at Jared and he’s going to know, too. He’s going to know that Jeff jerks off thinking about Jared’s hands when he turns in a paper, know that Jeff has had dreams about fucking the kid against the white board in the lecture hall.

He clears his throat and looks down at his desk to needlessly rearrange some papers.

It doesn’t help.

“Jared?” Jensen smiles, turning to face the boy in question. Jeff is officially mortified. “Well, this is a delight.”

“It is? I'm...” Jared says, frowning, not looking at Jensen and not sure what he’s supposed to say to that. “Professor?”

“Jared, this is my good friend Jensen. He was just leaving.”

“So I was,” Jensen agrees, never been one to cock block, but it doesn't stop him making a little sport of the situation. He takes Jared's hand and bows, presses a kiss to Jared's knuckles.

Jared flushes slightly, and his eyes go wide when he actually takes a good look at Jensen for the first time. He flusters and stutters, turns redder still and steps back, then forward.

“You’re… Jensen? Professor Morgan’s friend… Jensen. You’re… Wow, this is so... You're so nice. To meet, I mean. In person. I... shit. I'm usually cool, I swear.”

So, Jared recognises him, clearly. That's kind of a mixed blessing, Jeff figures.

Jensen just laughs and claps Jared on the arm.

“Well,” he says to Jeff, “at least you know he's gay. Have fun kids!”

“I'm sorry about him,” Jeff immediately apologises, after the door closes behind Jensen.

“No!” Jared says. “I’m sorry. I’m sure he gets that all the time and… Wow, I feel like a jerk. Seriously, it's fine. He's... fine. Good. I don't mind.”

Yeah, Jeff bets he doesn't mind.

“He has a boyfriend.”

Jeff can't believe he just said that. Wow. Jared's only been in his class a few months, best student in the class (well, most fuckable, at any rate), only come by for extra help twice and already he's got Jeff so twisted up he's getting bitchy and territorial.

“Well I…” Jared frowns again and he looks so fucking adorable Jeff wants to wreck him. “I’m sorry, is this a bad time? If you guys were in the middle of something…”

“No,” Jeff says. “I'm sorry, no. I’m all yours, Jared. Sit down, please. You had a question?”

***

“I'm going to get fired.”

He's on Jensen's couch now, sprawled out in his living room with a half drunk bottle of whisky between them.

“Not if he doesn't rat you out.”

“Of course he will. I took advantage!”

Jensen rolls his eyes and tops up Jeff's cup.

“I wasn't there, but I'd bet my right arm that didn't happen.”

“Of course it did. I have a... a crush on him. I Guess. And he was just…there and adorable and looking at me like…. And I wanted him.”

“Of course you did. I kinda wanted him, he's so frickin' cute. But you had a crush on me, too,” Jensen points out, with a smirk. “And on Osric and on Gil. And you didn't take advantage of any of us. Even me, when I threw myself at you, back in the day.”

“You wanted to top,” Jeff jokes, but Jensen has a point. Jeff's always been good at keeping himself in check. Up until now.

“You didn’t take advantage,” Jensen tells him again.

“The authorities might see it differently. I don’t even think he’s eighteen yet.”

“He’s not going to make trouble for you,” Jensen insists, “because he started it.”

“He’s not the one who…” Jeff trails off, not ready to admit to what happened, but Jensen only rolls his eyes.

“Let me guess. He had a few questions, and when you answered them he was paying more attention to the shape of your mouth than what was coming out of it? Kept shifting closer and closer, batting his eyes, touching your arm, blushing, smiling? He kissed you first?”

“...Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Jensen smiles. “Something I never told you, was that you were the only professor I ever struck out with. Trust me, I saw the way he looked at you before he noticed me, and I know his game.”

“You hit on all your profs?” Jeff asks. He’s not forgotten about his current crisis, but this is something he hadn’t expected.

“Not all of them. A few. And every one but you let me earn a little… extra credit.”

“Who?” Jeff asks, eyes wide. “No, don’t tell me. Seriously, not ever. I couldn’t face them knowing…”

Jensen shrugs and smirks.

“Suit yourself. I will say, though, one of them? You fucked him, too.”

“Jensen!” He’s indignant at first, but then the thinks about and leans in, speaks lower and deeper. “Professor Collins, right?”

“Did you fuck more than one?” Jensen asks, grinning.

“Fuck, how did you know… Did you guys talk about me?”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yeah. When he was giving me the reverse cowboy in his desk chair, we had nothing better to do than talk about you.”

“Then, how did you know?”

“Saw him feeling you up in your office door last year. It was late, nobody else was around. Don’t worry.”

Jeff groans. “Why didn’t you say anything? I didn’t even know you were there.” He had fucked Misha Collins. Right there in his office. But it had only been the one time and he didn’t think anybody knew, but the two of them.

“Went home to beat off,” Jensen answers. “What? You guys were hot. And don’t go acting like you never beat off to me getting it on.”

“You mail me the DVDs!” And okay, yes. Jeff watches them. And sometimes relieves some tension. It’s a fantasy, Jensen is an actor. It’s not the same thing.

“I could stop,” Jensen offers, eyes wide and falsely innocent.

“Tell me again why I’m friends with you.”

“Because you think I’m pretty.”

Jensen smiles, a big, goofy smile and Jeff scowls.

“Okay, okay. So, tell me all about your little tryst with loverboy and how exactly you sullied the poor boy’s virtue.”

Jeff takes a deep breath, a deeper drink and looks Jensen in the eye.

He says, without flinching, “I bent him over my desk and fucked him, while I made him read out all the corrections I made on his paper.”

Jensen chokes on his sip of whisky and sits up straighter, coughs, smacks his chest.

“Seriously? Okay, yeah, you're getting fired. But, bright side, I may have an idea for my next movie with Matt.”

Jeff says nothing. Jensen clears his throat of any leftover shock, but he’s a good friend, so he offers a reassuring smile as he regroups. It might seem weird that Jeff’s closest friend is an ex student half his age who stars in Jeff’s very favourite adult movies, but it works for them.

“Okay. So do you actually like him? Like for real? Is that why you’re freaking out, or are you just afraid you’ll lose your job?”

“He’s just a kid,” Jeff doesn’t answer. “I’m such a perv.”

“You totally are.”

“Not helping.” Jeff takes another sip.

“You actually like him,” Jensen decides. Jeff doesn’t argue. He’s not sure Jensen’s right, but he knows Jensen isn’t wrong. He does like Jared, he’s just not sure how much. “You know, I think I might be a little bit jealous.”

“No, you're not,” Jeff says, because that’s what he supposed to say, even though he thinks that Jensen is. Not crazy jealous, but a little bit. He hopes Jensen is, irrationally. He had wanted Jensen, once, loathe as he is to admit it. And he never has out loud, never told Jensen how he wanted to let Jensen do to him what he does to those guys in his movies, because his professionalism prevailed. And over time, the temptation faded. Still doesn't mean he doesn't like hearing how bad Jensen wanted him, first.

He's a little bit of a narcissist. What of it?

“If you're fishing, cast your net wider,” Jensen says. “My interest expired long ago.”

“You've been coming on to me for five years.” His interest may have expired, but his relentless flirting hasn’t.

“Yeah, fair point,” Jensen concedes. “Okay, I’d still fuck you in a heartbeat, given the chance. But Matt would have my balls, so.” He shrugs. “You're cute with him, though. That’s what you want. That could never be me.”

Jeff wholeheartedly agrees.

“He is... exactly my type.”

“Tell me more,” Jensen says, humouring Jeff as he tops up their glasses.

“He's... I want to take him out to dinner,” Jeff finds himself saying. And it’s true. He wants all kinds of nasty, dirty shit with Jared, but he also wants to… date him. “I want to buy him fuzzy slippers and give him back rubs.”

“Well,” Jensen snorts. “It’s been nice knowing you.”

***

“Okay, how’d your date go?” Jensen asks, sliding one bottle of beer across the table and into Jeff’s palm. They’re out at a pub and grill halfway between their houses and they’re waiting for the burgers they ordered. “And details, please. My balls are so fucking blue, I can’t even tell you.”

“How is that possible? You fuck for a living.”

Jensen shakes his head and takes a drink from his own bottle.

“I love Matt. I do. Most of the time. He’s a fucking jealous bitch, though. Saw that scene I did with Tahmoh. Fuck, I’ve never come so hard in my life.”

Jeff’s dick hardens involuntarily. He’s not into Jensen like that anymore, he really isn’t, but that scene was hot. Jensen’s dick went so far inside, so hard and so fast and Tahmoh was spread so wide that Jeff actually thought for a minute that Jensen wouldn’t be able to come back out again. And then Jensen had and he’d come all over the guy’s stomach. All over it. Seriously, it was more come than Jeff’s ever seen, and he’s no stranger to porn. He didn’t even think it was possible.

Jeff’s not going to lecture Jensen, not again. It’s his choice, if he wants to keep on fucking up his relationship.

“Anyway, he told me I couldn’t come with anyone but him for a month. And he won’t let me fuck him. Even on camera, he makes me pull out and it’s all his money shot and I’m the dopey, devoted boyfriend, just happy to see his jizz. Meanwhile, he can fuck whoever he wants and his stupidly chiselled abs are so fucking saturated in his own come, it's obscene. He's doing it on purpose. I’m higher up the ladder at the studio than he is, man. How is that fair?”

“That’s what you get for dating someone younger and prettier. They always call the shots.”

Jensen gapes.

“You think he’s prettier than me?”

Jeff doesn’t answer, just stares until Jensen sighs and rolls his eyes.

“Okay, fine. What did prettier than you do to make you his bitch when you guys went out? Any special moves you want to tell me about? You know. For research.”

Jensen’s smile is wide and lascivious and Jeff doesn’t even bother to protest; they both know he’s been Jared’s bitch since the kid first took a seat in the front row of his lecture hall.

“No, you pig. We didn’t even sleep together. In fact, we kind of… cooled things off.”

“He dumped you, right?” Jensen teases. “Got his A and moved on?”

Jeff just gives him a look.

“Oh, you are such a fuckin’ gentleman! You promised to stay away until he wasn’t your student anymore. How long do you think that’s gonna last? How long before someone else swoops in?”

“If you fuck him,” Jeff says, narrowing his eyes, “I will kill you.”

“Relax, big guy. I’m happy for you. It’s been way too long since you’ve had someone.”

“Yeah, yeah. I still don’t know what’s going to happen at the end of the term.” He can hope, but he doesn’t know.

“I still don’t know what’s going to happen when I get home tonight,” Jensen commiserates. “But seeing as we’re both looking at some pretty hard times for the next little while… strip club after this?”

Jeff laughs and claps Jensen’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” he says and he smiles, feeling good because he’s got Jared to look forward to and a best friend to get him through until then. “Strip club.”

END