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Shatter Me

Chapter Text

                                                                                                         

You looked at the map for the millionth time.

It couldn’t be that difficult, for God’s sake. So, you left that road and drove for ten km before you parked outside the highway, staring at that damn paper. You sighed and began to drive again, muttering swearing words as you saw it began to rain. And not slightly, no. It was a real storm.

Time passed and suddenly you saw a huge sign written that said: Welcome to Storybrooke and you put your fist in the air, turning the radio on and dancing and singing along the song. It wasn’t that late but you supposed everybody would be at home as the rain pounded on the ground.

You saw a cafe opened and parked there, running to the inside of the building. You huffed and touched your wet hair, begging that you don’t get a cold in the following days. The few clients that were there kept silence as their eyes were fixed on you. You swallowed and asked the old woman a hot chocolate and sat down near the window.

Nobody spoke and you felt yourself as an intruder in their lives. You thanked the girl who brought you the cup and took a sip before you settled on the armchair. The sky was completely dark except for the lightnings that were seen often. You pressed your fingertips against your forehead, massaging it as you thought of your next movement.

You couldn’t find your grandmother’s house on your own and of course you couldn’t sleep in the car. So what to do?

You bit your lip when the bell above the door rang, warning of another client coming inside. You turned your head to look at the person. It was a tall man with strange clothes. He wore a scarf around his neck and walked confidently around the place. He sat down near the bookshelf and smiled at the same woman who had took your order. His blue eyes focused on the book on his knees and you saw he wore eyeliner too. As if he was feeling somebody staring at him, the man raised his head and looked at you. You frowned as his jaw fell open. He was familiar to you.

You shrugged and decided it was better to think about your situation so you asked the young girl if there was an hotel or something in the village.

“We have some rooms here”

“Great!” You were brought to the woman, who said you could call her Granny and you both talked about the price. When the accord was done, you followed her upstairs, feeling the man’s gaze on your neck.

The room was small but warm and it reminded you to the one you had at home You felt pressure in your heart as you thought of your mother, alone at home and decided to call her after a hot shower.

You had been an only child from a single mother. She was the only one you had in this world. You never met your father neither your mother’s family. She said it was better that way. You never understood but also never worried. She loved you and for you, that was enough.

Until now.

A few months ago you’d received a letter from a lawyer’s office saying that your grandmother who lived in a village called Storybrooke had died. You remembered staring at your mother, who had tears in her eyes. She refused to tell you anything and asked, no, begged you to stay with her.

But that only made you to pack some of your belongings and taking the car.

“Maybe it’s a mistake, mom” You had said hugging her. “I’ll be here before you know it, okay?”

“Just please, think about it” She looked at you with those big eyes that had been your whole life looking at you with pure love and you sighed.

You still remembered your mother standing outside your house, watching as you left after you had promised her to call as soon as you got there and returning safe. You told her so, trying to calm her, saying that she’ll probably sell the house and leave that village.

You sighed as you took your phone and laid down on the bed, waiting until her voice was heard.

“Oh, god, Y/N. Are you okay? I’ve heard there is a terrible storm there”

“Yeah, it’s quite bad, but I’m here in hotel so don’t worry”

“Did you talk to somebody?” Your mother asked rushly, which caused you to frown.

“Uhhhh…no? Just the woman who has the hotel. Granny” You heard a strange noise coming from your mother. “Is that everything fine?”

“Yes. Just…please, do what you have to do, and come back as soon as possible. I don’t like you there”

“Why?” You said with a sceptical voice as your eyes went to the window, watching as the rain pumped against the glass.

“Listen, if you do as I said, I swear I’ll tell you everything, but please, come back. I love you”

“I love you, mom”

You stared at your phone remembering that strange conversation and shrugged, getting inside the blankets. Your eyes were fixed on the ceiling. It was really bizarre. Your mother had never been like that. You had to admit that your life had been strange. Always travelling from one town to another. But you didn’t mind until now. Who was that grandmother of yours and why was your mother reluctant to you being there?

You closed your eyes, wondering what Storybrooke had to offer to you and what happened with your family.

Chapter Text

You woke up the following morning and stretched your body, feeling your bones cracking. You moved the blankets and took a shower, relaxing as the hot water cleaned your skin. You put the clothes you wore the day before on and took your belongings, going to the cafe.

The place was exactly as it was when you left. The same clients, sit on the same positions. Everything was the same, except for the weather. The sun’s rays came through the windows enlightening the whole place.

“Would you like to have breakfast, my dear?” Granny said and you nodded, paying her for the room but when you tried to pay the food, she shook her head. “Breakfast included”

You waited in your armchair and felt your stomach growling as the small of pancakes filled the air. God, they smelled as the ones your mother used to cook for you.

You remembered the conversation you had with her the night before and wrinkled your nose, wondering why she was like that and what she would tell you when you came back.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the door’s bell as a new client came inside the cafe. It was again that strange man who you had seen the night before. His eyes laid on your face and drilled down it, analysing you. The young girl brought your breakfast and the man sat down in his seat. You grabbed the waiter’s sleeve, called Ruby, and whispered.

“Who’s that man?”

“Him?” She said looking over her shoulder. The man was again reading that book. “It’s Jefferson”

Jefferson, you muttered, feeling the name on your lips as you pronounced it. His face was still familiar to you and you thought that maybe you were becoming mad. You shrugged and began to eat your breakfast, enjoying the views you had. When you’d finished, you said goodbye to anyone in particular and left the coffee.

Your car was there, waiting for you to drive your grandmother’s home. The town was completely different now that you were seeing it with the morning lights. It seemed like the typical beautiful American village. You stared at the letter and looked for the adress until you found it. You parked in front of the house and got off the car.

It was a huge house. The wooden walls were painted with a dim blue and the roof was made of slate. It had a garage with a white door and the whole was was surrounded by an iron fence, as the ones used in the Victorian times. The garden was filled with beautiful flowers and the grass needed to be cut. You took your suitcase and walked over the stone pavement that led to the house, taking the key the lawyer had given to you when you visited her.

“Hello?” You jumped and the key fell on the wooden floor of the porch, clinking. You turned and saw a boy staring at you. “Who are you?”

“Oh, uhm…I’m Y/N”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came here because this belonged to my grandmother. She died” You said as you picked up the key. You felt the boy’seyes fixed on you and that made you uncomfortable as if you were an intruder.

And you were, technically.

“Mrs. Liddle was your grandmother?” The boy said and frowned, smiling after a few minutes. “You look like her”

“Really? I never met her, so…”

“Why?”

“I…I don’t know honestly” He nodded and showed you his little hand.

“I’m Henry. Nice to meet you, Y/N”

“Pleasure is mine” You answered smiling at him and shaking his hand.

“I have to go. Will you stay here?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll see the house and I’ll probably sell it”

Henry opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but instead he ran away, leaving the house. You shrugged, thinking about that boy and who could be his parents. It seemed he knew everything about the town. Maybe, you thought, it would be a good ide asking him.

You introduced the key inside the lock, leaning your whole weight against the old door, who opened slowly with a cracking sound. It was like the one used in terror films.

Your hands touched the walls several times until you reached the switch, turning the lights on and closing the door. Your mouth fell open as you saw the living room of that house.

It was like if you had travelled to Wonderland, that land from your favourite book, Alice in Wonderland. You stared at everything around you, looking at a ball of yarn. It seemed Mrs. Liddle had been knitting something. You went to the rest of the rooms, finding that there were three bedrooms, two bathrooms and a door that was locked, which made you frowned. Mrs. Rogers, the lawyer, didn’t give you more keys.

You decided it wasn’t important at the moment and chose a bedroom, leaving your suitcase there. It seemed that was once used by a young girl. The bed had soft chiffon drapery that fell around it and an iron headboard painted in white. The wardrobe was made in wood and when you opened it, you found clothes that seemed to belong to another era. You took one of them, watching yourself in the mirror as you put it in front of your body.

It was cream white, with several silk parts mixed with the chiffon. It had a queen Anne neckline and you were astonished of its beauty. You put it inside the wardrobe again and sighed, taking your own clothes and your toiletry bag, placing it on the dresser.

When everything was done, you went to the kitchen just to find the fridge was empty. Of course. You sighed and took your purse and the keys, going outside the house.

The streets were empty and you were surprised of it, taking into account it was a working day in the morning. You wished Henry could help you as your feet lead to see the whole town, looking for a grocery’s store. Luckily, you found one and you bought everything you might need for the following days. Some neighbours of the town were there and you felt their eyes fixed on you.

It wasn’t until you were in the house again when you felt relief.

You called you mother using the hands-free device as you were ordering the food on the several cupboards made of wood. Her voice seemed worried and you sighed.

“I don’t understand anything, to be honest” You said placing your hand on the kitchen island. “Actually, the house is much bigger than anything I’d seen before. We could live here as it belongs to us”

“No, Y/N. I’m not coming back to Storybrooke again”

“Again?!” Your voice rose and your mother shut up, the phone being silent. “Listen, I love you, mom, but you have to trust me and telling me what’s happening”

“I’ll do. I swear. But please come back as soon as you can”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll call you tomorrow”

You hung up and sighed, rubbing your eyes with your fingers. You hated when people kept secrets from you. Moreover, secrets that were related to you and your own family. You took a glass filled with juice and moved to the living room, observing all the books kept in the bookshelves. There were plenty of them, covering the walls. On the fireplace’s there were several photos put in frames. Your hands began to shake and the glass fell on the floor, shattering.

“What the hell is that?” You took one of the photographs there and stared at it. It was an old one and it seemed to be done in England. A young lady was there and you recognised the dress as one of which were kept in the wardrobe. She was smiling at the photographer and your whole body shivered as you saw her face. It was the same as yours. You saw the photo by its side and froze as you saw the two people in it. Below it, there was something written with a ballpoint pen.

Alice Liddell and her daughter, England.

The older woman seemed to be your grandmother. The other, a little girl of around six years old, was your own mother.

Chapter Text

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You spent the rest of the day laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. You couldn’t understand what you’d seen. That photograph had to be a mistake, maybe a joke or a simple coincidence. It couldn’t be.

Alice Liddell was the character of Alice in Wonderland, your favourite book. You remembered the old one you had. It’d belonged to your mother and she never spoke about its origins but it didn’t matter to you. You loved the old pages, the smell of antique books and its illustrations. The little girl falling down the rabbit hole to find a magic world.

“Okay, Y/N” You thought. “Definitely you’ve gone mad”

You huffed and rubbed your face with your hands, trying to calm yourself. This could be one of the secrets your mother had kept from you but…what else would be out there? You had to find it.

The following day, after your breakfast you decided you need some fresh air so you went outside and began to walk through the whole town. You could see some people staring at you astonished and you would lower the head so they couldn’t see your face. Your feet led you to Granny’s cafe where you saw the girl, Ruby, working. You came in and she smiled at you.

“So, good morning! Breakfast again?”

“No, thanks” You said politely approaching the bar. One of the clients paid and left, the door’s bell clinking.

“That was the sheriff” Ruby said taking the cup and washing it. You nodded and stared around you, distracted. The girl looked at you worringly. “Hey, are you okay? You’re pale”

“Yeah, I…had a hard day yesterday”

“Really? Have you come here before? Because you’re familiar to me” Ruby said staring at you thoughtfully.

“No, no. I’ve never been here so…You might have mistaken me with another girl”

“Yeah…maybe” Replied she not really convinced. “Will you stay here for a long time?”

“I think so. There are some things I have to fix”

“Business?”

“Family” You replied as you eyes catched the man called Jefferson sat on his usual armchair. A cup of tea was placed on the table and he was reading carefully the book he had in his hands.

“Henry told me you were in the Liddell manor. Is that true?”

“Did you know my grandmother?” Ruby shrugged and you looked at her rolling your eyes. “Oh, c’mon”

“No more than the rest of the people here” She said ambiguosly. “Maybe Granny knows something, but I’m not sure. That woman didn’t leave that house so often”

“Yeah, well…Thanks again” You stood up to leave when Ruby spoke again.

“Beware the rabbit hole!”

Thinking she was mocking at you you faced her again to make a silly grimace and turned when you hit something. Then, the sound of glass hitting the floor and cracking was heard over the whole cafe. You covered your mouth and knlet, taking the biggest pieces carefully while Ruby was going to take a broom.

“I’m so sorry! I should be more careful!” You raised your head to meet Jefferson’s blue eyes darting you. You swallowed and saw his gaze moving to your bag, where your old copy of Alice in Wonderland. Your hands travelled to grab it but the man was faster and took it between his long fingers.

“Where did you get this?” His voice was low and shaky and his eyes travelled from one page to another, his fingertips rubbing softly the paper. You took it from his hands and kept it on the bag again.

“It’s mine. Belonged to my mother” You replied harshly and tried to walk to the door but his hand grabbed your elbow, making you to face him.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Y/N” His eyes were still fixed in your face as if he was trying to remember somthing and you felt nervousness going over your body. You just wanted to leave. “Ruby told me yours is Jefferson”

He looked at the young girl with his brows frowned and sighed, nodding and smiling politely, his hand leaving your arm. He stratch his neck and extended a hand, staring at you.

“Nice to meet you”

“Pleasure is mine” You replied shaking his hand. The soft yet calloused skin made your body burn and you moved to the door, trying to hide the blushing in your neck. “I must go. I’m sorry again!”

You found yoursef not knowing what to do again. On the one hand you’d like to return to the Liddell manor and search on Alice’s belongings. There must be something about your family there. On the other hand, you weren’t sure if you wanted that. Maybe your mother was right and you had to keep your bags inside the car and leave that strange town, forgetting about it.

But knowing yourself, (And you knew yourself), you wouldn’t forget about it so you led yto the house when a dark-haired woman stopped you, his red lips curved into a strange smile.

“Good morning, Miss! We don’t know yet, do we?” The woman shook your hand strongly. “I’m Regina Mills. I’m the mayor”

“Y/N Y/L/N, nice to meet you”

“Me too. I just heard you met my son, Henry, yesterday. We’ve heard about your loss. I’m so sorry”

“Uh…Thank you, but I didn’t know Mrs. Liddell”

“So, Is it your first time in Storybrooke?” You nodded and her smile grew up wider. “Fantastic. Well, If you need something you can contactme in this adress” She handed you a piece of paper and you pet it in your pockets, nodding and smiling back. “Oh, and don’t worry if you hear some…rumours about the neighbours or Mrs. Liddell . People are bored, you know”

She winked at you and began to walk. You stayed like that, looking at her back as she disappeared as she turned to the left on a street. You felt a shiver as you remembered her dark eyes fixed on you and immediately your mind reacted with rejection to her.

You began to walk faster and it wasn’t until you had locked the door behnd you you didn’t feel safe. It was ironic that the place where you felt safest was the Liddell manor. You sighed and took the old book from your bag, sitting on the couch and staring at the drawings.

You could see the girl’s features were similar to the woman in the photograph, even with the little girl who was supposed to be your mother. Her lips were the same as yours and you sighed, touching the page where Alice was seeing doing the race with the Dodo.

You curled on the couch, hugging yourself as your eyes were fixed on the photograph, Alice Liddell looking back at you.

“So, Alice“, you thought, “who are you and what’s happening here?”

Chapter Text

“Y/N?” You heard your mother’s voice at the other side of the phone as you walked through the whole living room. Your thumb’s nail was trapped between your teeth.

“Talk me about Alice Liddell” You blurted as your eyes went to that damn photograph. You heard your mother’s breath as she gasped, wordless. “Mom, I know you’re still there”

“Y/N, take your things and come back”

“No! I…”You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. “I want to know why the hell a woman who was supposed to be Alice Liddell, the Alice from the globally known Alice in Wonderland, might be my grandmother”

“I…promised I wouldn’t say anything. Not to you…” You could picture your mother perfectly muttering something to herself. Her lips moving but no sound coming from her mouth. “You must be away from the curse…”

“The curse?” You replied frowning and sitting down. “Mom, are you sure you’re fine?”

“The rabbit hole…”

“Mom…”

“I must go. I’ll call you tomorrow”

You looked at the phone as she hung up. You were spechless. Your mother was a very rational woman. She had never had those beliefs. She enjoyed reading fairy tales to you, but when you asked if they were real, she just said that no, they weren’t.

At that moment, you remembered your mother’s face when you’d asked that question. Her smile would fade and her eyes’ shine disappeared. Life is she was hiding something.

You huffed and walked to the garden behind the house. It was huge and coulouring flowers were everywhere. The manor was separated from the forest by a fence as the one in the front part of the house. There were paths made of gravel and a little swing as the one used in typical victorian houses.

You stayed there with your arms crossed staring at the forest. It was dark as the large trees didn’t allow the light to come in. You heard the birds cheeping over there. The wooden boards of the porch’s floor cracked as you walked to sat down on the first step, your hands rubbing your arms as the cold air hitted your skin.

“Beware the rabbit hole” You muttered, remembering what Ruby had said and your conversation with your mother.

You thought it was truly madness but…what if it was true? Alice Liddell existed. She inspired the book. But what if…?

No, you thought. Stop that. This is all madness.

“Hello?” A voice stopped your thoughts and you stood up, looking at the fence that separated the two parts of the house. You walked there, the gravels moving under your feet and discovered Jefferson there, his arms leaned on the fence.

“Jefferson…what?”

“I just came here to see if you needed something”

“Did you bring an apple pie? Because that’s what good neighbours do. At least in movies” You said smiling and he laughed softly, reaching out his hand.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“You know what? Yes. I need to clear my mind”

You opened the fence and closed it behind you, walking by his side. His neck was covered by another scarf, purple this time and his blue eyes were fixed in front of you.

“Sorry again for your coffee”

“Don’t worry, Y/N” He laughed making a sign with his head. You stared around you, taking notes of the places that were there. You could feel his eyes fixed on your face and you turned, making Jefferson to cough and look away, blushing. “I heard you met Henry”

“Yeah. It’ a good boy. And his mother” Jefferson stopped suddenly and grabbed your elbow, pressing you against his body. “Hey, what…?”

“Stay away from Regina Mills. She’s dangerous”

“She’s the mayor…She…”Jefferson snorted and continued walking, his hands now inside his coat’s pockets. “Listen, I’m tired of secrets since I came here I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know who Alice was apart from a character of a book written decades ago. My mother keeps secrets I didn’t know until now and today I had a rough day, so stop that or I’ll leave”

Jefferson stared at you. You went on the defensive, your jaw tensed and your hands closed in fists. The cold wind hit your face, causing your eyes to get teary and you shivered. The man sighed and a small grin appeared on his lips.

“You’re cold. Here. Take my coat” He said tossing it over your shoulders, walking again to a huge mansion you’d never seen. He went to the door, opening it with a golden key he took from his waistcoat pocket and made you a gesture to come in. “I’ll bring you some tea. Everything’s better with tea”

Everything’s better with tea.

You closed your eyes and opened it harsly. You had heard that before but your mind couldn’t see where. You thought, trying to guess the origin of that when Jefferson brought a tea tray with him, moving his hand to an empty armchair, where you sat after you had placed the coat on the hanger.

“Milk?” He said and you nodded, watching as his delicate fingers were holding the porcelain teapot, pouring the milk on your hot drink. You took the teacup and its plate, siping.

“It’s delicious” You said closing your eyes as you enjoyed it. Jefferson smiled at you and sat down just opposite to you, his blue eyes darting yours. You left the cup carefully on the table and looked at your fingers, feeling uncomfortable.

“Tell me, Y/N…”He began, taking his teacup and siping his drink. His smiled never faded. “Do you believe in magic?"

Chapter Text

 Your feet were leading you to the Liddell manor as your mind was in a trance. You still had that moment in your head. That moment in which Jefferson had leant against you, his long fingers still grabbing his teacup and a smirk in his lips. He looked like a child who knew a secret and wanted to pester his mom with it.

“Do you believe in magic?”

That was what he asked. And your mind had gone to all those fairy tales your mother read to you before going to bed. Those stories about dragons, princesses and fantastic adventures. He had smiled wider and lent back into the armchair, the tea now forgotten.

“What if I told you…tales are real?”

His voice was pure velvet and you felt it wrapping you. The lump in your throat made you swallow several times as your shaky hands brought the cup to your lips. Drinking that tea would be a way to gain time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” You had replied harsher than you expected. Your heart was pounding against your chest and you were afraid he culd hear it. Jefferson just grinned again.

“You know perfectly. You know more than you remember…” You had stood up fastly and had run to the door, Jefferson following your steps. He leant against the door frame watching your silhoutte on the dim light of the lampposts, speaking again. “We met before”

“Where?” You asked turning your body to face him.

“In a dream”

You saw his smile one more time before he disappeared inside his house and you walked through the empty streets. His velvety-like voice still in your mind, that last sentence causing your brain to work.

Once upon a dream.

Days passed and you decided that you’d need a job if you wanted to stay in Storybrooke. Ruby and Granny accepted you as a waiter and the young girl seemed excited to have a new friends. You two became closer as you spent time together.

Nevertheless, you decided to stay away from Jefferson. You heard rumours about him being mad. Completely. But that wasn’t the real reason. The conversation was still in your mind and you couldn’t avoid the feeling that he was somehow right.

But it was impossible. You had never been in Storybrooke before. That was the first time you had seen him. Wasn’t it?

One night you were returning home from Granny’s you found Henry sat down in a bench. His hands were on an old book and he seemed paying attention to it. You smiled and walked towards him. When he heard your steps, he raised his head and looked at you.

“Henry, it’s nice to see you” You said smiling and saw him smilicg back at you.

“You’re working with Granny now, aren’t you?” You made a funny grimace and sat down by his side.

“News travel faster, huh?” His eyes were staring at you, observing you. You pointed to the book. “It seems nice. What is it?”

“A fairy tale”

“Really? I love fairy tales!” You replied and Henry handed you the book so you could see what he was watching.

You saw a girl running through what it seemed a forest. She could have been your twin and you felt like if your blood had left your body. Your hands began to shake as you went through the pages. The girl was chasing a white rabbit and she looked behind her a moment. You saw the Liddell manor and her face, frowning as she was indecisive. You were about to continue when Henry took the book off your hands and closed it, leaving you shivering and pale.

“It’s hard at the beginning, but you’ll understand with time” Henry took your hands between his and you stared at him, terrified. “The curse is not on you”

“Was Jefferson right? Had we met before?” You whispered feeling your throat get dry and you thought it was all a dream. Suddenly, the clock would ring and you’d be back at home with your mother.

Henry didn’t say anything and began to walk to his house, leaving you there, alone and confused. More confused than you’ve ever been in your whole life. You put your hands in your coat pockets and stood up when a voice made you jump.

“You’ve been avoiding me”

“God! Jefferson I almost suffer a heart attack!” You stared at him and he shrugged, his eyes fixed on you.

“I’m sorry” His gaze was sincere and you took a deep breath, waiting for him to continue. “For everything. You shouldn’t be here”

“I don’t understand anything” You muttered under your breath, fixing your eyes on the pavement. He moved closer to you and his arms rubbed yours, trying to get you some heat.

“You’re frozen. Please, let me invite you to another tea. Please” He begged, his hand extended to you.

You bit your bottom lip and swallowed hard, your mind in a conflict. Could you trust that man?

You sighed and nodded, walking by his side in silence. Sometimes you’d feel his eyes on your face, observing your features. You saw his mansion at the end of the street and he opened the door, stepping to the side to let you come in before him. He grabbed your coat from your shoulders and led you to the living room.

“I’ll make some tea”

You saw Jefferson disappearing inside the kitchen and you observed the pictures hung on the walls. On a wooden table, near the window you saw a record player, an old one and you stared at it absorbed. Your hands went to the pickup needle, moving it to the vinyl.

The music wrapped you and you turned, Jefferson leant against the door frame, his blue eyes staring at you. His lips curved into a shy grin and he extended his arms to you. You both moved to the middle of the room. You right hand took his left and your left placed on his shoulder while his free one was on your hips.

I know you
     I walked with you once upon a dream
     I know you
   That look in your eyes is so familiar
   A gleam
     And I know it’s true
     That visions are seldom all they seem
     But if I know you
     I know what you’ll do
     You’ll love me at once
   The way you did once upon a dream 

You both swayed together, following the rhythm of the music. The voice was enveloping and your eyes never left his. You swallowed as your mind began to send you images. A blue dress made of silk twirling around your feet as you danced.

But if I know you
     I know what you’ll do
     You’ll love me at once
   The way you did once upon a dream 

His eyes studied your feature, going over your eyes to your lips. His teeth trapped his bottom lip and he made you twirl around your body, bringing you to his chest again.

It was like if the gears where working and making your mind remember things. Forgotten memories from another life. As if that life wasn’t yours.

“Y/N” Jefferson muttered, his nose rubbing yours. You blinked and your lips parted, your heart pumping against your chest.

I know you
     I walked with you once upon a dream
     I know you
     That gleam in your eyes is so familiar
     A gleam
     And I know it’s true
     That visions are seldom all they seem
     But if I know you
     I know what you’ll do
     You’ll love me at once
     The way you did once upon a dream

You muttered the last words of the song and felt his blue eyes darting you. As if it was a broken spell, you separated from him and ran to the door, catching your coat and going to the cold night. You put your coat on and felt the tears on your eyes. You clean them with the back of your hand and continued walking, when you saw a figure at the end of the street. Regina Mills walked to you and smiled, staring at you.

“Y/N! What a surprise! I’m glad to see you again”

“Mrs. Mills” You replied politely, smiling back at her.

“I’ve heard you’ve met Jefferson” You frowned and cleaned your throat, waiting for her to continue. “I recommend you to stay away from her. He’s mentally ill”

“Thank you, Mrs Mills. I’ll do what’s best for me” You said smiling again, this time coldly and continued walking to the Liddell manor, hearing Regina behind you.

“Trust me, Miss Y/L/N. It’s better you pay attention”

Your steps went faster as everything you wanted was to get into your bed and sleep forever. Maybe your mother was right and you shouldn’t have come here. Everything would be better, wouldn’t it?

Once Upon a Dream, you muttered.

Chapter Text

You walked from one side of the room to another, your phone in your hands. Your mind had been a mess the last days as you tried to assimilate the information. There was a really small probability you were dreaming, or maybe mad and those all things were from your imagination.

It wasn’t, was it?

You sighed and sat down on the bed, staring at the open wardrobe. You could see some of those old dresses on the hanger. You hands left the phone on the duvet and you walked to it, your hands caressing the soft fabrics. You stopped at the one you had seen during your first day in the Liddell manor and took it, putting it over your body as you walk to face the mirror.

Your fingers rubbed the soft laces and you sighed, closing your eyes as you tried to remember. You saw some images. But they seemed to be unconnected. You frowned, frustation on you as nothing came to you.

“Once upon a dream” You muttered one more time. It had been your mantra since that night in Jefferson’s house. You jumped when the phone began to ring and left the dress inside the wardrobe again, running to the bed. “Yes?”

“Y/N?” You heard your mother’s voice and felt a pain inside your chest. “What are you doing?”

“I’m here, in Alice’s house”

“God, when you texted me about being and working there…”

“I can’t leave. Not now, mom”

“Oh, god. Why?”

“I don’t know, okay?! It seemes like if this whole village is crazy. Like if I’m supposed to be Alice Liddell’s grandaughter and follow her steps or something. God. I know you’re a rational woman, mom, but…It’s like if magic exists. I…”You muttered covering your eyes. “I’m terrified”

There was just silence on the other side of the line. You even thought she had just hung up until you heard her again, sighing.

“I should have told you this before…Alice was actually your grandmother. And…she went mad and spent part of her life in a psychiatric asylum. Then she went to Storybrooke”

“Why?”

“She claimed she had actually travelled to Wonderland, Y/N…”

“Did she?” You waited biting your bottom lip until it began to bleed. “Mom” you heard your voice beggin her and she replied, her voice full of sadness.

“Please, I beg you to come back here. I sacrificed too many things in my life to leave you away from all that madness”

“Well, mother” you said coldly, tears filling your eyes. “Instead of trying to protect me life if I were a child again, you should tell me everything”

Before she could reply you hung up and tossed the phone on the bed. Your hands covered your face as your whole body was shaking as you cried, exhausted of everything.

The day after the phone call you had to suffer Ruby’s questions as you were pale and baggy-eyed. You replied that you had to get used to the new mattress, just that, but Jefferson, as he was there in his usual place was aware that something happened to you. He stayed there until your shift was done and approached you, his blue eyes full of concern.

“May I walk you home?” He asked rubbing your hand like a feather before moving it away. You simply nodded and walked by his side, your hands in your pockets as your eyes were fixed on the floor. He swallowed hard and turned his face to look at you. “I’m sorry” You stared at him frowning. “About what happened the other day If I did something wrong…”

“It’s not about you” You replied tiredly, smiling softly as you cupped his face in your hands, looking at him. “It’s just..”You sighed and shook your head, walking again. “Everything, I suppose…”

He nodded and followed you until the Liddell manor was seen. You faced him and took a deep breath. Jefferson was observing you, his neck, as usual, covered with a scarf. His hand moved to place a lock of your hair behind your ear and you shivered at the contact. He moved closer staring at you, looking for a reaction. You didn’t move away and grabbed his coat, playing with the buttons.

“A month before you came here…”He whispered, mist coming outside his mouth as he spoke, his thumb rubbing your cheeks. “I began to dream. I usually had nightmares but that time was a dream. A beautiful one. You were with me…before…”He stopped biting his lip, as if he regreted talking too much. “Before all the bad things happened. You were as beautiful as now…and we danced that song. Again, and again. It was just you and me…”

Your mind travelled to a few months ago, when you received the letter of the lawyer’s office. After that, you realised you had been dreaming with a pair of blue eyes and a sweet smile. Everything seemed like a fairy tale, as if you were in a Enchanted Forest. Then, something clicked inside your mind.

“The White Queen…”You muttered, frowning as Jefferson imitated you. Before neither of you could know what was happening, his lips were on yours.

They were soft and delicate, kissing you as if you were made of the most precious glass.His left hand was placed on your neck, deepening the kiss. His right one was on your waist, pressing you against his chest as your hands gripped his coat. When his teeth bit your bottom lip you moaned, causing him to smile as he continued kissing you. He took advantage of this and the tip of his tongue part your lips, going across your mouth. This made your knees shaking and you both separated, trying to catch your breaths.

His cheeks were red and his blue eyes were now dark and shiny. His mouth cuved into a smirk as he saw you disheveled hair, your swollen lips and your blush. You swallowed and looked as he took your hand, placing a chaste kiss on it and walking to his house, leaving you outisde the mano, smiling as a fool.

Neither of you saw the threatening figure that observed the whole scene.

Chapter Text

“Good night, Ruby!” You said as you took your coat and went outside the diner. Jefferson was there with a smile in his lips, a bouquet of flowers in his left hands. You grinned shyly and put your hands in your pockets. “Are you gonna be my Charming Prince now?”

“No, not a prince” He replied, a soft laugh leaving his mouth as he looked at you. His voice was lower than usual and you noticed a tone of sadness on it. He showed you his arm and you took it, kissing his shoulder. Jefferson leant aginst you, whispering in your ear. “What about a mushroom seller? Or a hatter?”

You frowned in confusion as you stared at him, his lips curved in a mysterious smirk. He began to walk and you followed him, the cold air hitting your face and causing your eyes to get teary. Your fingers tangled with his and you saw his house closer.

As usual, he took your coat and disappeared to the kitchen to prepare some tea and you wander on the living room, watching the old paintings. On the other side, there was something you hadn’t noticed before. A huge piano that invited you to sit on the stool. You did and presed some keys, listening to the magnificent sound.

“Do you play?” Jefferson’s voice made you jumped and you placed a lock of hair behind your ear, smiling and nodding. He left the tea tray near the table and walked, sitting by your side. You observed his long fingers placing on the correct keys. The hands of a pianist. His eyes seemed far away as he thought of a song and suddenly, began to play.

You smiled. That song was one your mother showed you when you were a little child. It was a melody you’d always had in your dreams. And this time, something clicked inside your mind, as if a mechanism had begun to work.

As if you were in a trance, your hands went to the other side of the piano, your fingers flying over the key as the melody went on. Jefferson lifted his head and smiled at you, winking. You smiled back, feeling your body heating and your cheeks blushing.

“That was beautiful” You whispered, facing him. He snodded and you noticed he was nervous. “What’s wrong? Did I do…?”

“No”He interrupted, his blue eyes piercing yours as he took your hands between his, kissing them. “No…I…”He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think I should be honest with you, Y/N” He stood up and extended his hand, staring at your face. “Do you trust me?”

You observed that man. That man you had met a few weeks ago but it seemed like if you’d had known him for years. As if you two met once. In a dream. You took his hand, squeezing it and smiling, trying to reassure him. You followed him through the corridors, watching all those places you’d never seen before. He stopped abruptly near a closed door and you saw his shoulders moving as he took deep breath. His hands grabbed the knot and opened the door, his body moving aside so you could go inside. When he turned the lights on, you couldn’t believe what were you seeing.

Hats. Hats everywhere. Shelves near the wals full of hats. In the middle of the room, a large table with the tools needed to make them. You walked near the desk, watching everything around you, feeling Jefferson’s body behind you. Near the window, there was a telescope. You faced the man and he pointed at it, giving you permission to take a look. You watched over it and discovered it was showing a little girl, playing with her dolls.

“It’s my daughter, Grace”

You turned and looked at him in confusion. He grabbed your hand and sat down on one of the chairs, sitting near you. His blue eyes were observing your features, studying your reaction.

“There is a curse in this town, Y/N. Nobody remembers where they come from, except me”

“And where do you come from? Wonderland?” You added pointing at the hats, laughing nervously. You knew you could suffer an anxiety attack at any moment. Jefferson groaned in disgust and shook his head.

“I hate Wonderland”

“Why? It seemed a good place to live in the book”

“Wonderland has taken from me everything I love” He grabbed your hands and noticed you were shaking. “God, please…Y/N, tell me something”

“Let’s assume I believe this crazy story. What are those hats for?”

“In the magical world there are several ways to travel through places and time. The hat is one of them. I lost the one I had and I’ve tried to make another one since…”He rubbed his hair, groaning in frustation. “I can’t remember when. This is driving me mad!” He shouted and you cupped his head, trying to calm him, rubbing his cheeks with your thumbs, cleaning his tears. “She doesn’t remember me, Y/N…”

His hand fell on your knees and you played with his hair, his soft sobs breaking you heart. You kissed his forehead several times until he looked back at you, his blue eyes surrounded by red.. He smiled shakily, pressing his nose against you.

“I don’t know who sent you to me…but you’re my dream”

“In this case, literally” You said laughing which made him grin, the back of his hands cleaning his eyes. He stood up and you cleaned your throat. “You said the hat is one of the ways to travel. What are the others?”

“The mirror, the rabbit hole…”

He continued speaking but you were not listening to him anymore, feeling a knot in your stomach as he mentioned the rabbit hole. Everybody spoke about this and you didn’t understand why. Jefferson noticed your face and stared at you, concerned.

“Y/N, you’re pale…”

“I think I need time to assume this” He nodded and stood up, helping you to do the same as you both left the room, the door closing behind the two of you.

You both remained there, in the narrow corridor. Your back pressing the wall as his blue eyes here fixed in your mouth. The tip of his tongue licked his bottom lip and he spoke.

“You can stay here. It’s late…”He moved closer to you, his hands caressing you as he talked. He leant his head to one side, swallowing hard. “I can sleep on the couch…I”

You grabbed his shirt and pressed him against your body. Jefferson looked at you before pressing his lips against you, his mouth hungrily searching yours. His left hand pushed your neck, deepening the kiss as the right one went to your ass, grabbing your cheek. You moaned as his teeth bit your lip and felt his smile against your mouth. His tongue explored it, looking for dominance and you were lifted, your legs going around his waist.

Jefferson separed and looked at your blushed face and shiny eyes, his hands keeping you near his body as he brought you to his bedroom. The lights were off except for the dim rays that came though the curtains. He left you on the mattress and hovered your body, his lips attacking your neck , kissing, biting and sucking hungrily, causing you to moan as your hands tugged his hair, which drove him crazy. He groaned and stared at you with his eyes now dark.

“Bad girl…”He whispered as his hands worked fast to remove your clothes, your doing the same. When you were about to take his scarf off, he grabed your wrists, looking at you in concern.

“I want to see it…” He swallowed hard and removed the piece of cloth, tossing it to the floor. A scar was on his neck and you looked back at him.

“The Queen of Hearts…”

You pressed soft kisses on the scarred skin, making Jefferson to close his eyeys, enjoying the feeling as if he was free again to be himself. His mouth went to your breast and you shivered as the hot breath hit your skin. His long fingers played with your right nipple as his mouth covered the left one You moaned, enjoying the sensation of his tongue circling the bud of nerves. His hand left your nipple and went across your stomach, a chill corssing your whole body as he put his hand inside your underwear. He his thumb began to rub your clit, your hips jolting at the contact. Your mouth opened as you moaned and whimpered.

“You’re so wet, so sweet…so beautiful…”He whispered on your skin as his other hand removed your underwear and opened your legs. He smirked at you as he introduced his index finger, moving it as he continued playing with your core. You were a panting mess at that time andyour hands grabbed his hari.

“Please…I need you..I need you to fuck me…”

He removed the rest of his clothes and touched himself, the tip of his length rubbing your aching core. You whimper and your ankles hit his back when suddenly, he entered you, giving you time to adjust himself. You both cried because of the pleasure and Jefferson pressed his forehead against you.

“Move…C’mon…”

He obeyed and began to thrust inside you, your moans filling the silent room as he hit places that sent discharges of pleasure over your body. His hands grabbed yours as he continued moving, his hips hitting your clit as his thrusts became harder. You felt a knot in your stomach and knew you were near the edge. Jefferson seemed to notice too because he rubbed your clit with one hand, whispering in your ear and biting your earlobe.

“C’mon, princess…Do it…Cum”

You felt your orgasms hitting your body and screamed, diggin your nails on his shoulders. His movements became erratic and you felt his own pleasure. Jefferson kissed your lips and tried to catch his breath, rolling to the side. You saw him going to the bathroom and returning with a cloth to clean you. When he did, he came back to your side, his arms pressing you against his body.

“Now, sleep, my princess…”He whispered, touching your skin as your eyes fell closed.

Chapter Text

The dim rays of the sun that came through the curtains woke you up. You stretched your mucles and rubbed your eyes, trying to get used to the light. Your left hand went to the other side of the bed just to find it empty. You frowned and looked at it, your body covered with the soft blankets. 

“Jefferson?“ You asked as you got up, finding your clothes and putting them on. You had to go to your job at Granny’s but you didn’t want to leave that way. You went out the bedroom and found the door of the hat’s room open. You went there, finding a focused Jefferson holding the scissors before cutting the fabric. You saw he had another hat almost finished. “Will it work?”

Jefferson jumped as he heard your voice and his expression softened as he saw you there. His blue eyes shone and he smiled, leaving the tools on the table and opening his arms. You went there and sat on his knees, feeling his face buried in your hair.

“I didn’t know you were awake”

“I have to I must work” Jefferson pouted and looked at you, pressing feather-like kisses on your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

“You can stay here with me…”

“Nope…”You muttered, kissing his forehead as your hands ran down his brown curls. You smiled at him” I must work. And you too” You pointed at the hat with your chin and he sighed, nodding and smiling.

“At least let me prepare your breakfast”

“Don’t worry. I’ll eat at Granny’s” You stood up, walking to the door when you heard Jefferson’s voice behind you.

“May we have dinner here?”

“Yeah, of course. Pick me at the manor”

He nodded and focused again on his hat as you moved through the house, taking your coat and going outside the streets. Some kids were leaving their homes to go to school and you saw Henry walking by the side of that girl. Grace. Jefferson’s daughter.

“Hey, Y/N!” Henry said waving his hand at you. You smiled and waited until they were by your side. “How are you?”

“Really fine and you? To school, huh?”

“Yeah, this is Paige” The girl smiled at you and shook your hand, running to another group of girls that were calling her name. You stared at the girl in confusion. Henry noticed it and took your hand, bringing you back to reality. “Her name is Paige here”

“So…what Jefferson told me…about…”You swallowed hard trying to find the exact words. “The curse…is true?”

Henry nodded and opened his mouth to talk when another voice called his name. This time, an adult one. You looked at the woman whom you had seen a few days before, Regina Mills. She smiled politely at you and grabbed Henry by his shoulder, walking by his side. 

You sighed as the headache came bck and walked to Granny’s, where Ruby was talking to the man that she told you to be the sheriff. Your friend smiled at you as you took off your coat.

“Hey, how was your night?” She smirked as you took a mug to fill it with coffee. That only made Ruby’s grin to become wider. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Same clothes. No breakfast. C’mon, girl” She purred as you rolled your eyes, going to one of the tables to take the client’s order. 

The day passed as usual. The same clients, the same orders, the same work. You thanked whoever was up there when your shift finished and you grabbed your belongings, walking to the Liddell’s manor. You needed a hot shower and some food. Also, you need to talk to your mom.

When you’d changed your clothes, you grabbed a mug full of hot chocolate and went to the porch behind the house. The garden was in a peacefull silence and you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, smelling the sweet aroma of the flowers. 

You need to calm yourself as all the events happened in the last weeks had made you anxious. You didn’t know what the hell that curse was, if that was true or not and what was happening in Storybrooke. Moreoever, you didn’t know the role Alice Liddell had had in all this story. 

Days ago you had found a small diary written by Alice with an illegible calligraphy. As years passed and she became older, the handwriting became more shaky and impossible to read. You could guess something as Wonderland, Queen and Cyrus. But nothing else. You had asked your mother about that but she denied everything and when you talked about the curse, she had bursted into tears.

“I must be mad” You muttered rubbing your eyes.

When you opened them, you found something staring at you in the garden. It was a rabbit. A white rabbit. You frowned and looked at both sides, wondering if it was maybe a pet who had escaped. The animal didn’t move until you got up, leaving the mug on the wooden floor and adjusting the shawl you had on your shoulders.

It seemed like if the rabbit wanted you to follow him.

Before you could knew what was happening, your feet took an step forward and then another. When you realised what were you doing, the rabbit had disappeared on the forest. You looked over your shoulder to the manor, saying to yourself that you’d be back before Jefferson would arrive.

Down the rabbit hole.

You swallowed as you heard that voice in your mind again, your legs getting trapped between the weeds and the prickly blackberry. You took a deep breath as the rabbit began to run, your feet cracking the branches. When you arrived to a forest cleaning. The rabbit was nowhere and you felt disappointment. You had followed the animal for nothing. You turned to go back to the manor when someone stopped you. 

Behind you, there was a tall woman with brown hair. Her eyes staring at you with a fake friendly gaze. She was wearing clothes that you’d never seen before on here. Her plump and red lips curved into a smile.

“Regina” You whispered staring at her.

“What a pleasure to meet you, darling” She said opening her arms in an elegant movement. As she moved towards you, your feet walked backwards. Regina laughed and you felt a shiver down your spine.

“I saw you talking to Henry, again” She said pointing the word with her voice. Regina was walking in circles around you until she stopped in front of you, focing you to walk backwards. “And I know you’ve talked to Jefferson. That poor man. He’s mad”

“That’s what he thinks. The curse…” Her face changed and you saw a grimace of rage on  her beautiful features. Her hand grabbed your elbow, making you to scream in pain.

“You know nothing, little child. You should’ve stayed with your little mom. She was intelligent enough to run away from here” You hissed and tried to free yourself. When she stopped grabbing your arm, you tripped over a huge hole on the ground. Your back hit the tree as your feet were on the edge, your whole body hanging over the hole. Regina’s lips curved into a mischievous smile. “Maybe that’s what I should do. The Red Queen will be so happy to catch the White princess”

“No…No! Regina!”

You shouted as her boot kicked your feet, making you to fall. You saw her evil smile as you fell, the light fading and fading. Your head was dizzy and you hit something, causing you to groan and fall onto another object. You couldn’t guess how long did you fall until your body hit the ground and rolled, the leaves and mud on your clothes. 

“For God’s sake” You muttered pushing your arms on the ground to help you getting up. You were sure you’d had bruises the following day. Your hand went to your face and you hissed, feeling a scratch on it. Your eyes went to your clothes and tried to clean it, when some voices startled you. 

That was when your gaze went to your surroundings. There were mushrooms and trees whose crowns covered the sky. You hid yourself between the dense bush and took a deep breath, trying to calm your fast heartbeats. In front of you, a group of guards passed with their pikes. What made you feel sick was that those guards were playing cards. Hearts to be precise.

When they disappeared you covered your mouth, trying to suppress the scream that wanted to leave your body. It couldn’t be true. You were dreaming. You had to be dreaming. You couldn’t be….no.

Down the rabbit hole…

Beware the rabbit hole…

There’s another way…down a rabbit hole.

You stood up and looked around and above you, wondering if there was a possibilty of going back to Storybrooke. You felt your legs shaky and the bile’s taste on your mouth. You stumbled and began to walk without knowing what to do.

Where had you been sent? And when?

Chapter Text

“I may have a contusion from the fall” You muttered as your feet led you to…where were you going? The only thing you were able to see were trees, trees and…oh, surprise! Trees! 

You began to feel exasperated and exhausted as your mind tried to keep rational thoughts. You may have fallen through the hole when Regina pushed you. You had hit your head and now you’re dreaming. Probably Jefferson would find you and would bring you to the house to take care of you and you’d wake up.

That had to be the only explanation.

You continued walking feeling the pain from your injuries. Your jeans were ripped on the knees and you had a bruise in your cheek. The palm of your hands were scraped and you hissed everytime you moved them.

Then, you began to hear voices coming to your position. Afraid that the cards could find you, you hid behind a large tree, kneeling on the muddy ground, the voices becoming louder as the owners were near. 

“Do you have it?” A high voice said and then some laughs. "Fine. We should come back”

“Wait…what about my part?”

You froze as you heard Jefferson’s voice. He was there! You stood up and began to walk, moving aside the dense bushes. The voices shut up and you screamed as something passed by your side. You turned your face to see a knife pinned in the bark, still swinging. You stared at the two men, astonished. One of them was the one you knew as Mr.Gold, the owner of the Antiques’ shop. The other one, as you’d thought, was Jefferson.

“What the fuck?!” You shouted pointing at the knife. “You almost killed me!”

“But I didn’t” Mr.Gold said grinning, his teeth black and disguting. Jefferson was there staring at you, his hand against his chin. You turned to him.

“You could have stop him!”

“Why, ma’am?”

“Because…”You began and frowned, seeing as Jefferson was doing the same. His eyes had eyeliner and his fingers wore several rings on them. He was wearing a long leather coat and a hat.

The hat.

“The hat…”You muttered, causing the two men to exchange a gaze. Jefferson stood up quickly and grabbed your elbow, pinning you against the tree. You hissed in pain as his blue eyes stared at you coldly.

“What do you know about the hat, Ma’am? And you better speak”

“You’re hurting me!” You tried to free yourself from his embrace but he only digged his fingers strongly in your skin, causing you to groan lowly. “You know me! For God’s sake!”

“I’m sorry…We’ve never met before…But…”His blue eyes went throughout your body, his tongue licking his bottom lip as an smirk appeared on his face. “I’d like to have the pleasure…”

Your knee moved to kick his stomach but he was faster and also stronger so he grabbed it, making you to totter. He laughed softly and rubbed his nose against your cheek. You turned your face, a grimace of disgust in your features and Jefferson walked, dragging you with him. You shouted and hit his arm.

“We should do something, Rumple. She knows things, I’m sure”

“Wait a moment” The man jumped from the rock he was stood in and walked by your side, trying to grab your chin. You shook your head but his wrinkled hand forced you to look at him. His brown eyes shone and a grin appeared on his face. “She’s the White princess”

“What?!” Jefferson let you free and stared at you as if he had seen a ghost. He turned to the man called Rumple, his hand on his waist. “Are you sure?”

“Sure as leprechauns exist” Both men grinned and you frowned trying to understand their talk.

“Sorry, Am I what?”

“Don’t be modest, your highness. We know it” Rumple looked at Jefferson and grabbed him by his neck, both staring at you before whispering. They moved their hands as they spoke and you thought that definitely you weren’t in Storybrooke anymore. “Maybe we could bring her to the White Queen. She’ll reward us for finding…Hey! Come here!”

You had been moving slowly backwards and then, when you heard that voice, you began to run, screaming. Your feet broke branches and leaves as you ran throught the forest, the voices of Rumple and Jefferson behind you. Suddenly, someone fell on your body, dragging you to the ground.

“Oh, fuck!” You groaned as you knee hit a rock. You saw the skin scraped and bleeding and hissed. Jefferson was by your side, his eyes fixed on your face as you were leant to see better your bruise.

“Idiot!” Rumple slapped the back of his neck and Jefferson groaned, his hat now on the ground. He put it on his head again, watching as the other man kneeled by your side. “Are you okay, your highness?”

“Are you nuts?! I’m not a princess!” 

“You hit her harder than I expected” You heard the tone of Rumple as he continued his reprimand to Jefferson. The hatter rolled his eyes and observed as Rumple cured your knee with magic. “You’ll feel better. Now, we have to walk before the guards find us”

“You mean the cards?”

“You’ve seen them?!” Jefferson asked staring at you. His eyes were cold and worried. There was no remain of the warmth way they used to look at you.

“Before I found you I saw some red cards…”

“The Red Queen” Rumple muttered and nodded, searching in his pockets. “We must move, now. Wha…what are you doing?”

Jefferson had grabbed your wrists and tied them together with one of his scarfs. The fabric was as soft as you remembered and your mind brought back the night you had spent together. It seemed in that world Jefferson would not remember that. 

Because it didn’t happen.

“She’s the White princess!”

“That’s what you say but she doesn’t say the same. We don’t even now how did she get here!”

“She’s the daughter of the White Queen, of course she’s in Wonderland!”

Wonderland.

You left your throat getting dry as you realised what had you done. You had gone through the rabbit hole and had got to Wonderland. As your grandmother, as Alice.

“Alice…”You muttered flexing the hands, feeling the fabric against your skin. The two men stared at you and Rumple raised his brow.

“See?! She’s Alice Liddell’s granddaughter!”

Jefferson stared at you, suspicious, and sighed, walking by Rumple’s side as he pulled your handcuffs. You huffed and followed them as you didn’t have a better plan. You had to know how to return to Storybrooke and if that White Queen could help you, well, you’d have to meet her.

Welcome to Wonderland, you thought.

Chapter Text

You huffed as Jefferson pulled the scarf again in order to make you ran faster. The fabric was making your skin sore and your legs hurt. Rumple and him were talking as if you were not there, the first one glancing over his shoulder to make sure you were fine.

“How did you get to the forest, your highness?”

“My name is Y/N and I’m not a princess” You sighed and triped over a rock and Jefferson held you in plce, helping to get on your feet. “I was in my grandmother house, in another village, and the a woman came and pushed me to a rabbit hole”

“Just like Alice!”

“Who was that woman?” Jefferson asked, staring at you and you sighed, shaking your head.

“Forget it. Is that thing far from here?”

“Two days walking” Rumple said smiling at you and you went plae, feeling your knees shaking and a lump in your throat.

“No! It can’t be! I…I need to come back…They’ll be waiting for me”

“Who? Has the White Princess a suitor nobody heard about?” Jefferson replied mockingly, snorting and pulling your improvised handcuff harder, causing you to hiss.

Just If you knew…You thought as your eyes were fixed on his. You remembered that night you had spent with him, his soft lips over your skin, kissing your neck. His hands roaming over your legs. That seemed to be in the past as that Jefferson was not the one you knew.

“Wait” Rumple extended his hand to stop you and you stared at the two men, frowning. He looked at Jefferson, worry painted on his face. “The Red Queen’s guards are here. Quick, go!”

“What about you?” You said as Jefferson had grabbed you by the elbow.

“Don’t worry about me, Your highness. I’ll be fine” He clasped his fingers and you saw him disappearing. You opened your mouth to say something but you were interrumpted by Jefferson pushing you behind a large tree, his hand covering your mouth, hushing you. 

You heard the sound of feet hitting the ground, grumps and low voices as the guards passed by your side. Jefferson’s body was pressed against you and you felt his weight crushing you. 

“I think they’ve gone…”He muttered, moving the hand and placing it one the side of your head, his blue eyes observing your features, fixing on your mouth. His teeth grabbed his bottom lip. You could feel his hot breath against your face. You heart was pumping against your chest and his nose rubbed yours.

“We should move…”You whispered and he nodded, moving away and grabbing the scarf again, letting your wrists free and rolling it against his neck. You touched your wrists and made a grimace.

“I’m sorry, Your highness”

“Y/N” You said, smiling at him and he smiled back. 

“Y/N”


Jefferson’s POV.

He went to the garden behind the house, worried as you didn’t answer his knocks at the door. You had said you’d be at the manor and your absence worried him.

He felt a knot on his stomach as he found your mug on the porch with your cold chocolate still on it.

“Y/N?” He was going to look through the windows when he realised your traces on the grass. Jefferson begn to walk, following them until he came into the forest, getting more and more nervous as he felt something was wrong. He knew that path and what was there. “Oh, God…”

He ran when something caught his attention and got to the rabbit hole, watching as your shawl was fallen on the ground. His hands took it and brought it to his nose, smelling your aroma as he looked around him, disoriented and not knowing what to do. He needed magic to go through the hole and the curse didn’t allow it.

“Regina…”He muttered under his breath, his feet moving to the manor again, ready to confront her. She had to bring you back and soon. You wouldn’t be safe in Wonderland on your own. His mind was shattered, broken but since you had got to Storybrooke his memories was being stitched. He remembered a forest in Wonderland and the White Queen castle. 

“Wait for me, Y/N. I’ll bring you back”

Chapter Text

Your legs ached with every step you made as you followed Jefferson through the forests of Wonderland. He looked as if he wasn’t tired at all while the only thing you wanted was to lay on the moss. You felt you eyes tired and sleepy.

“Are we going to walk until we reach the White Queen Castle? Because I can’t walk anymore”

“I’m sorry, Your highness, but we can’t have a horse” He replied irnically, causing you to roll your eyes and stop, your hands on your hips as you stared at him. Jefferson turned and raised his brow, smirking. “So, tired, Your highness?”

“Yes. I’d appreciate having a place to sleep. Even if it’s here on the ground”

“Oh, no. The Royal Princess will have the best bed” He smirked at you and grabbed your hand, his long fingers, those piano fingers that had touched you a few days ago, tangling with yours. You followed him again, wishing he wasn’t fooling you again.

The sun was fading and you felt a shiver down your spine as the cold breeze rubbed your skin. Jefferson noticed it and took off his coat, giving it to you. He pointed and you stared at the place.

“Voilà! It’s not your castle, but it’s warm and comfortable. Enough for a night”

“Just let’s go, please”

You both entered the room and  Jefferson hurried to light on the chimney, causing you to close your eyes when the fire was on and you felt warmth. Jefferson left the coat on the armchair and brought you to the carpeted floor, your hands extended to the fire.

“Is this okay?” His blue eyes darted your face and you nodded, smiling sweetly causing him to smile back at you. 

Time passed as you both stayed that way,looking at the flames dancing and crackling. You felt Jefferson moving closer to you and his hand moving to your back, his fingers caressing your skin over the shirt you wore. Your heart speeded up as you felt him and you closed your eyes, leaning against his shoulder. You stayed that way until his hands cupped your face, forcing you to stare at him. He bit his lip and his nose rubbed yours, his lips over yours as if they were feathers. Your breath was shaky and his was hitting your face. You swallowed and lifted your hands to his brown curls, muttering.

“We should go to sleep”

“Yes, we should”

And he kissed you.

Jefferson’s POV.

His steps led him to the Mayor’s house, knowing she was the one who had sent you to Wonderland. Jefferson had tried to warn you about the Evil Queen, but, at the end, she got you, just to hurt him more than she had done.

He opened the door without warning and came into the house, leading to Regina’s office. Henry was in the kitchen and he ran to follow the man without him knowing it. Jefferson came into the office and found the Sheriff talking to Regina, whose brow lift as she saw Jefferson, his pale face red and his hands closed into fists. She moved her hand and the man left, closing the door behind him.

“Well, Jefferson. It’s a nice visit. What could I do for you?”

“Bring her back. Now” His voice was steady and cold. 

“Sorry, who?” Regina’s face was frowned in confusion. 

“Y/N. You know what you did. Bring her back from Wonderland”

“Oh, my poor Jefferson…”Regina stood up and walked to face him, his arms crossed over her chest and a cruel smile on her red lips.”The thing is I can’t. It’s not where I sent her. It’s when

“You’ll pay for this” Jefferson replied, his voice shaky and a lump on his throat causing him to breath harshly.

“We’ll see, my dear. We’ll see”

Chapter Text

His lips kissed you hungrily as if he hadn’t kissed anyone in a long time. His hand cupped your face and pressed you against his, his chests touching yours as you both were breathing. When his teeth bit your bottom lip you moaned, opening your mouth Jefferson’s tongue entered into your mouth, playing with yours as his hands went to your waist. He separated from you, breaking the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, his blue eyes blown with lust.

“Are you sure about this, Your highness?”

“Oh, Jefferson, fuck it. Call me Y/N” He chuckled and your hands grabbed his shirt, dragging him against you again.

He took the hint and you felt his nose rubbing your cheek and jawline, his teeth catching your earlobe. You gasped and took the hem of his shirt, your hands wandering over his chest until your fingers began to unbutton it. Jefferson swallowed hard as he looked what you were doing. He took off his scarf and shirt, doing the same with yours. He stared at your breasts and caressed the skin of your collarbone with his lips, muttering against it.

“So beautiful”

You tugged his brown curls when his teeth bit your skin, knowing the following day you’d have dark marks on it. You closed your legs looking for friction and your hands unclasped your bra, his eyes widening as he saw it. His hands went to your chest, his long fingers playing with your nipples before sucking the left one. You whimpered while his left hand travelled down your body, going inside your jeans and rubbing your core over the underwear.

“Fuck…”You muttered biting your lips and closing your eyes. You could almost feel his smirk on his lips. That bastard.

Jefferson put you on the carpeted floor, his lips kissing every inch of your bare skin as he made his way to your lower part. You helped him to step out your jeans and he growled as he saw your lace underwear. You swallowed as his thumb rubbed your clit over it, moaning softly as his teeth bit your hips. Jefferson took off the underwear and parted your legs apart, smiling at you. You were shivering and you whimpered when his tongue went over your folds, sucking your bud of nerves.

“Fuck!”

“Language, princess” He chuckled and the hot air made you quiver. You hands tugged his hair while he went back to your core, you moans filling the room. As his mouth was on your clit he put two fingers inside you, curving on your g-spot. You felt the familiar knot on your stomach as you were reaching the climax. He seemed to know it too, because he increased the intensity. “C’mon, Your Highness…Cum for me”

You did, screaming as pleasure went over your whole body. You tried to catch your breath and smiled as Jefferson hovered you, smirking. He took his scarf and tied your hands, whispering.

“Do you thing I’m done with you, Princess?”

Jefferson’s POV.

He was on the Liddell manor, staring at the forest. The wind moved the leaves fallen on the grass and the flowers seemed less brilliant now that you had gone. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just jump through the hole, hoping he’d get to the exact time where you were.

“Jefferson?”

A soft voice made him turn and he saw Henry standing near the fence, his book pressed against his chest. The man frowned and stared at him as he walked to sit near him. The boy looked at him and handed the book, raising his brow. Jefferson sighed and took it, opening it.

“Page 9″ Henry said planly. The man turned the pages until he got the one the boy had said. His eyes widened at the image.

It was him and you, dancing in the White Queen castle. You both were staring at the other’s eyes, your face was the image of happiness. Jefferson seemed to be living the moment of his life.

“You knew her. Before. This had to happen” Jefferson fixed his eyes on the boy as he nodded.

He would have to wait you to come back.