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Irvine raised his hand in greeting when he saw Squall leaving the library, but was far from surprised when he was ignored. If someone had asked him a few months before about the kids he'd spent his childhood with he'd have said that there was no way that little Squally could've gotten any more closed off around other folks over time than Ellone leaving had already made him, but ten minutes back in his company had been more than enough to show Irvine just how wrong he would have been about that. Every so often he thought that he caught hints of the kid he'd once known within the grump Squall'd become, but trying to keep his eyes open so he'd catch those hints when they came was just an exercise in frustration.
But the strange thing that day was that Squall didn't seem to be ignoring him on purpose. The expression on his face looked like he was miles away, like he wasn't even aware that Irvine was there. He'd usually at least spare him a glance even in his most closed-off moods, maybe even a small nod of acknowledgment, but now he just kept staring straight ahead as he walked by, his forehead furrowed and his mouth a tight line.
It only took about two seconds for Irvine to decide to pop into the library and try to figure out what had perturbed their unshakable leader so much.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the first room. A fellow who usually spent his time there was leaning against the wall in the corner, flipping through a thick paperback. The library girls were chatting behind the counter. There were no books stacked up on the cart for reshelving, so if whatever had gotten to him was something he'd read Irvine knew he'd probably never be able to find it; trying to work out how Squall's mind worked well enough to guess what he would pick up for pleasure reading wasn't a challenge that Irvine felt up to.
He moved on to the back room, and in an instant he had the answer he'd been searching for.
He wasn't really sure why he was so good at recognizing people who he hadn't seen since they were hardly more than toddlers when he came across them again all grown up. It wasn't like they'd remained unchanged by the years, anymore than he had. But he'd known all the others the minute he'd sat up and seen them from the side, lined up in front of his Garden weeks ago, before he'd even been given their names.
And now he knew her even though she had her back to him, just from the color of her hair and the way she held her body, though he'd never seen her looking quite so dejected.
He slipped quietly up behind her. "Now what's a pretty girl like you doing, looking so glum?" he asked, settling his hands on her shoulders and giving them a squeeze.
She whipped around to face him at the touch, and the moment she saw his face she looked, if anything, more down than ever. "I'm sorry," she said, obviously forcing a falsely polite smile onto her face. "Would you please leave me alone? I don't mean to be impolite, but I honestly couldn't stand to talk to another person who's... to another person right now."
As she turned back to the desk she was sitting at he was suddenly absolutely positive that she knew. She had to, what other type of person could she be avoiding after sending Squall off looking like his head was full of more storm clouds than normal?
He couldn't hold back the smile that stretched across his face, wide enough to ache, as he leaned over her again. "Now Elle, is that any way to greet one of your little brothers after all this time?"
She went very still, head bowed and her shoulders stiff. He was just starting to think that he'd made a mistake when she suddenly shot to her feet so quickly that her chair clattered to the ground and twisted around to look at him again. Her eyes were wide and fixed on his, as if she was searching for any hint that this might be some type of prank, and she asked, "You really remember?"
"It'd be pretty sad if everybody was as forgetful as Squall and the rest of them, wouldn't it?"
Two seconds later he was holding an armful of shaking sister.
After she'd had enough time to calm herself--and, he wasn't too shamed to admit, Irvine had too--she pulled her chair back up and he sat down on the edge of her desk. "Cid did warn me when I came here that I shouldn't seek out Squall, or any of the others. That it would only upset me. But how can I..."
"How can you keep back when they're right there in front of you, right?" he finished for her. "Even if you know you're going to end up depressing yourself, you just keep running head-first at that wall and hoping that maybe this time you'll break through."
She bowed her head slightly in agreement. "Exactly. I know that I'm confusing Squall horribly every time I speak with him, but if there's any chance at all that I might jog his memory I can't not try." She folded her hands in her lap and stared down at them as she added, "I've even thought about trying to force him to remember, to bring him back to that time, but whenever I think about it it feels like that would be cheating. I want him to know me through his own will, because he cares enough that he's saved some memory of me deep inside where the GFs can't reach it. ...And for the others to as well, of course."
"No need to cover yourself for me," he said with a low laugh. "We've both got one we want back the most. Not much point in hiding it."
"I suppose not." She looked back up at him, searching his eyes again. "But how do you still have your memories? I thought that GFs were standard equipment for all traditional SeeDs."
"Only for Balamb SeeD. Aside from that, I'm afraid I'll have to admit that this brother is lagging a little behind the others, Sis. I'm still a cadet, so even here they wouldn't expect me to fill my head with one of them if I wanted to avoid it." He leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest. "The others are sharing some of theirs out with me, and with a Sorceress as the enemy I've got to take them, but they stay in storage when we aren't out fighting. I've got a good idea how fast those things can wipe a mind--I know Sephie forgot me faster than I ever would've guessed possible since I heard she only got here a few days before running into me again--so anytime I need to touch one I yank it out again ASAP and go over my memory looking for any holes and don't stop thinking until I manage to fill them."
"That must be difficult for you."
He shrugged off her concern. "Better than the alternative, don't you think? I'd rather spend half my time checking my head to see if it's still on straight than end up like all the others. Somebody needs to remember why it's important for us to all keep track of each other now, if we ever start getting pulled apart again."
She reached up to cover his hand with hers, looking at him seriously. "Not only that. Having to take them to fight the Sorceress."
He dropped his arm so he could twist his hand and close it around hers, squeezing it tight. "That isn't Matron. It was tough at first, yeah, but now I know it's not her. It doesn't matter how much it looks like her, our Matron would've sooner cut off her own hand than thrown the others in prison or let Squall get tortured."
From the way her eyes flew open wide and the blood drained from her face he suddenly realized that there was no way she could have known about that, not unless Squall had suddenly decided to get chatty with a girl he didn't even realize he knew. And that that had been an awful way to break it to her.
"Hey!" he said, squeezing her hand again to pull her attention back to him and away from whatever horrible mental pictures she was painting for herself. "Hey now, it's not as bad as whatever you're thinking. They didn't hurt him badly enough to even slow him down and we're trained to deal with that sort of thing, you've got to know that."
She brought her free hand to her forehead, pressing it there with her fingers spread and closing her eyes. "I do realize that. But knowing that it could happen and finding out that it has are very different things."
"Just don't forget that Squall's a tough one these days. He's not the little boy who'd start crying at any little boo-boo and go running for you to kiss it better."
"Even so..." Her eyes popped open again and she pushed herself back to her feet so she was high enough to face him eye-to-eye. "Please, would you make me a promise Irvine? Would you watch over him, as much as you can? I understand that your duty to your Garden might not always allow you to, but you're the only one I could ask. The only one who knows how important it is to me."
He turned the idea over in his head, thinking about it. This new Squall, this man that he'd grown into, wasn't easy to be around for long stretches at a time. He was closed-off, and crotchety, and he could be thoughtlessly cruel though at least that was better than if he deliberately went around trying to hurt people.
But every once and a while Irvine caught him showing off his gunblade when the younger cadets asked just to make them smile, even though getting caught would drop his carefully maintainged rank. Every so often he overheard him patiently helping somebody out in their studies when they got a bad grade on a test. Every so often he'd open up and be as encouraging as he could be for someone who needed it, even if it didn't come naturally to him.
Every so often there'd be a little bit of the boy he'd once known in there, still visible under all the coldness.
And there was really only one way that he could reply to her request.
He tipped his hat to her, flashing her a charming smile. "Anything for a lovely young lady."
She flung her arms around his neck and held him tightly. "Thank you, Irvine. Thank you so much. I'm so glad that at least I still have you."
"Likewise, big sister. Likewise."