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Ray knows he's finally gone insane when he finds Ben standing in the kitchen after the funeral. He knows Stella and Vecchio have been the only reason he hasn't accidentally starved to death since Ben got caught out in the storm, but he really thought he was doing better. Not great or good or even okay, but better. Better enough to have convinced Stella to take Vecchio and go back to Florida after he promised to eat three meals a day and email at least once a week.
It wasn't like he'd have to cook after all. The Vecchio clan pretty much filled up his fridge for the rest of the year. So, insanity wasn't his big concern. The biggest concern was making sure Diefenbaker kept going now that Ben was dead. Although sometimes it felt like Diefenbaker's biggest concern was making sure he kept going. Between the two of them he was sure no one would fall into a depressive pit of mourning from which there was no escape.
Maybe that should've been a sign of his oncoming insanity?
Coming back from dropping Frannie off at the airport and seeing Ben standing in the kitchen, looking like he just came in from chopping wood, pretty much cements the insanity thoughts. The only thing that keeps him from turning around and going into town to have a nice sit down with Doctor Fendrick is how embarrassed Ben looks. That and the way Diefenbaker charges past him to jump up on Ben and lick his face.
"You're dead." Ray's always had a talent for speaking the obvious. "I buried you. Last week. Everyone came up, the Captain, Huey and Dewey, Elaine, the entire Vecchio clan, even Stella. Turnbull ran out of handkerchiefs."
"Ah, yes." Ben pulls on the collar of his shirt like he always does when he's embarrassed and doesn't know how to explain himself. "It appears that I'm a ghost now."
"A ghost?" Ray knows he shouldn't be quite so pissed off, but he's practically yelling. It's a good thing they don't have any neighbors. "How can you be a freaking ghost?"
Ben shifts nervously in front of him before taking a deep breath. Ray knows that breath; it's the breath of I'm-going-to-say-something-and-it'll-sound-crazy-but-please-just-listen-Ray, so Ray waits to listen. "Yes, I believe I'm a ghost. I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps it runs in the family, as my father haunted me for a number of years after his death."
"Your father did what?" It's absurd, but somehow that makes Ray calm down. He may be hallucinating, he may be crazy, but at least the Ben in his head is acting like the real Ben always did.
It takes an hour to hear the entire story of Ben's dead dad. From random appearances, to cabins in the closet, and finally when he left for good. Strangely, it makes sense, and that's the part that scares Ray. Because it's not the sort of thing that should make sense, but it fits into how Ben always acted back in Chicago. The ghost of his dad following him around explains a lot.
And that's probably another mark in the insane column.
At the very least he has the knowledge that if he's insane then Diefenbaker is sharing his insanity. The wolf has been spread out on the couch, head in Ben's lap, through the entire story, providing wolf commentary. "So, how long are you going to stick around for?"
"I don't know." Ben looks honestly upset at not being able to answer the question, it shouldn't be funny, but it is. "I'm not entirely certain how this works. My father was never very forthcoming about his afterlife."
"You'd think this sort of thing would have an instruction manual." It's what he'd say on an ordinary day, but today isn't ordinary and the joke falls flat between them.
Ben shifts on the couch and rubs Diefenbaker's head, "One would think. Apparently this is done by trial and error."
"But Maggie can see you?" Ray might be insane, but Maggie won't be. Maggie is the least insane person Ray knows. If she can see Ben then he'll know this is for real.
Ben nods, "She was able to see our father, I believe she'll be able to see me."
"Okay. She was too far out to make it back for your funeral. She should be getting into town tomorrow or the day after. She said she'd come as quick as she could." He can wait two days to learn if he's insane or not.
Maybe it doesn't matter though, because Ben is sitting in front of him. It suddenly occurs to Ray that he hasn't touched Ben since finding him in the kitchen. He's almost afraid to, like doing so will make him disappear. Slowly Ray stands up and walks around the table to sit next to Ben on the couch. Reaching out, he trails a finger down Ben's face, over his eyebrow and across his cheek.
Ben doesn't disappear.
Instead he's solid under Ray's finger. Not warm, not like he always was, but solid. With a gasp he pulls Ben towards him and wraps his arms around him. It's weird and bizarre and he might be insane, but it's Ben. And he's been dealing with weird and bizarre and possible insanity since he first met the guy so this is almost normal.
"How long?" He doesn't want to get used to this, to Ben, just to lose it again. If Ben isn't going to stay he wants to know.
Ben's arms wrap around his back, holding him tight. "I don't know," It's a fierce whisper, Ben's voice choked with suppressed emotion. "As long as I can."
It's not a guarantee. It's still possible that he's gone completely off the deep end. But it's just possible that somehow he's been granted a miracle, of sorts, and Ben's been granted the craziest reprieve ever. It's crazy and insane, but that's okay too. He can deal with his lover being a ghost as long as it means he gets to keep him for a just a little bit longer.