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Blowing Up

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Pepper has a very set routine when it comes to her cell phone, one that serves her very well. When a meeting begins, she turns the ringer off and hands it to her assistant. The assistant has been briefed on what phone calls to answer and how to answer them. She is also authorized to read Pepper's email and perform the appropriate triage.

She is not to read Pepper's text messages.

If she reads Pepper's text messages, she gets what she deserves.

The meeting with Roxxon is at 10:30 AM and doesn't really get started until 10:35. Pepper is there until approximately 11:50, at which time Pepper reads her text messages.

There are twenty-seven. They are all from Tony.


1.

Hey, Pep.

2.

Hey.

3.

I know your phone is going off.

4.

Pepper, look at your phone.

5.

Pepper, goddammit, you're not allowed to screen me.

6.

Is it screening if you don't read somebody's text messages? Whatever. Pay attention.

7.

I know you're paying attention.

8.

If you don't pay attention, you're not going to hear about the surprise I have for you. It's a great surprise.

9.

You're going to like it a lot. I can guarantee that much. This isn't like the time I upgraded your vibrator, though I think you liked that a whole lot more than you were ready to admit.

10.

It's a sex surprise, by the way. I thought you probably figured that out by now.

11.

Are you ever going to pick up your goddamn phone? I'm not going to stop texting you. Does Andi have your phone? Hi, Andi. You're not supposed to look at Pepper's text messages.

12.

Anyway, the point is, this surprise involves my cock. You guessed that, right?

13.

Let's be honest, I think it's pretty clear by this point that all my surprises involve my cock in some capacity.

14.

PICK UP THE GODDAMN PHONE

15.

You try to do something romantic for somebody.

16.

You have no idea what I have in store for you when you get home. It's going to be breathtaking.

17.

Not literally breathtaking. Hard limits.

18.

It's a little bit choose your own adventure, really, in that I got the blueberry flavor and the straw

19.

I got the blueberry flavor.

20.

If you'd look at your phone I'd tell you more. You know you want to know more.

21.

Pepper?

22.

Whipped cream, Pepper.

23.

Actually, I lied, that was disgusting the last time. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

24.

Which you're not.

25.

Pepper.

26.

PEPPER.

27.

FUCKING CALL ME GODDAMMIT PEPPER


Pepper locks her cell phone, smiling to herself. Tony thinks he is a master of seduction. Tony is pretty sure that he has her number. Tony is certain that he knows the best ways to make her go crazy with curiosity, tease her until she's going out of her mind wanting to know.

She drops her cell phone into her purse. He does not know the first thing at all about being a tease.