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D is for Dudley Do-Right

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D is for Dudley Do-Right by DebbieF (G/Gen)
Word Count: 1,562 words
Characters: A downsized seven year old Daniel Jackson, Jack (who is Daniel's guardian), Sam, Teal'c, General Hammond, Walter and Siler.
Era: Somewhere between seasons one and two (classic team).
Categories: Humor.
Author's notes: Even shrunk Daniel retains his memories but enjoys being a kid. The cartoon mentioned is an old one from 1961 until 1970. Refers to a dim-witted Canadian Mountie. Snidely Whiplash is his nemesis. Nell the damsel in distress he cares for and a horse named, of course, Horse. LOL!

Excerpt: "I need to borrow Snidely for a time," Hammond placed a gentle hand on top of the youngster's blond head. "Is that all right with you, son?" Listening to the heartfelt sigh that escaped the child, Hammond almost changed his mind... almost, that is. It was common knowledge that Daniel had him wrapped around his little fingers. Still, there were times when Hammond had to show the little boy who was in charge of the base.

"All right, I guess," Daniel huffed. "I'll see if Nell's in trouble." Racing down the long corridors, he disappeared from view.

++++

Stargate Command

"Hah!" Daniel exclaimed with relish. "I've got you now, Snidely Whiplash!"

The criminal in question looked strangely like Walter, who was plastered up against the wall, hands held high. "You've got me cornered, Do-Right," Walter shuddered, getting into his role. Hearing someone clearing their throat close to him he glanced to his left and noticed General Hammond standing there with amusement dancing in his eyes.

Tilting his bald head to one side, Hammond studied the hapless Walter. "Snidely again, eh?" Receiving an affirmative nod in return, he grinned.

"I should have known better, General," Walter sadly shook his head. "You can't escape Dudley Do-Right."

"Er, well, yes," Hammond suppressed the urge to laugh. Gazing at Daniel, he crooked a finger.

Shuffling his feet toward the general Daniel stopped and looked way, way up. "Yes, sir?"

"I need to borrow Snidely for a time," Hammond placed a gentle hand on top of the youngster's blond head. "Is that all right with you, son?" Listening to the heartfelt sigh that escaped the child, Hammond almost changed his mind... almost, that is. It was common knowledge that Daniel had him wrapped around his little fingers. Still, there were times when Hammond had to show the little boy who was in charge of the base.

"All right, I guess," Daniel huffed. "I'll go see if Nell's in trouble." Racing down the long corridors, he disappeared from view.

"Nell?" Hammond stared at Walter for a moment with a question in his eyes. "Who is it this time?"

"Captain Carter, sir," Walter grinned. Last time it was Doctor Fraiser who kindly gave Daniel her time, in-between patching up SGC personnel. “Daniel seems to change his mind frequently in who he wants to play Nell."

“I see,” Hammond responded seriously when really he didn’t understand it at all. "Be that as it may, Walter, your expertise is required in the control room." Finding the nearest elevator both men entered it. "Something to do with diagnostics, I believe."

++++

Carter's Lab

"But, Nell!" Daniel whined. "I just saved you from that dastardly Whiplash!"

Putting her tools aside, Sam hopped off the stool she had been perched on. "And I'm very grateful, Dudley." In character, she batted her eyelashes a few times at her young teammate. "But I have important tests to conduct right now." Sam glanced at the clock on the wall. "Tell you what," she said, her hand gliding through Daniel's soft hair, "give me an hour and then you can save me again later."

"Fine!" Daniel stomped out of the lab, heading for his guardian's office. He smirked to himself, thinking how Jack always bemoaned the fact that he didn't have one. Daniel knew better, though, as he pressed the button on the elevator that would take him down to level fourteen.

++++

Colonel Jack O'Neill's office

Sitting on the edge of his desk, Jack observed his little munchkin pace his office. "Snidely busy?" He guessed that wasn't the thing to ask as Jack got attacked by a pair of bright, blue lasers when Daniel turned to glare at him. Not to be put off, Jack pushed a little further. "Nell occupied, too?"

"My arch enemy was taken away by General Hammond and my Nell's doing experiments." Daniel threw his hands up in the air. "I'm checking back with her within the hour."

"So that leaves you with little ole me, huh?" Watching Daniel roll his eyes, Jack nearly lost it. "Where's Horse?"

"I left him with Janet." Daniel plopped down on a ratty couch that had springs sticking out of it. "Why don't you put in for one that’s in better shape?" He bounced up and down on it stopping abruptly when a few more springs... sprung.

"I just broke that one in." Jack arched a brow at the kid. "And why does the Doc have Horse this time?"

"Horse was being ornery again."

Not knowing how to respond, or even if he should, Jack left well enough alone.

"Jack, do you know where Teal'c is right now?"

"Helping Siler with some thingamajig." Jack sorted through a stack of papers that an airman had just dropped off. "I think they're in the lab a few doors down from me. Whatever they're working on had already gone through contamination so it should be safe." He ran a hand through his hair glaring at the workload he had to get through. "Apparently they can't get it open."

Getting back to his feet, Daniel headed for the door. "Maybe I can get Teal'c to play Snidely."

When the boy left, Jack's shoulders began to shake with the laughter he had contained. "One track mind, I tell ya." Why the kid got hung up on that old cartoon show about that dumb Canadian Mountie, Jack would never understand. Give him Homer Simpson any day of the week.

++++

The other lab

"Teal'c!" Daniel walked over to where the large Jaffa stood looming over an ornate chest. His big friend's attention was totally focused on it, as if his will alone would open the chest up. But Daniel had more important things on his mind than alien artifacts. "I need your help."

"Indeed, young Daniel," Teal'c dipped his head. "But currently I am already occupied helping Sergeant Siler open this chest that SG-7 retrieved from P3X-899."

Seeing Siler holding a big wrench, Daniel winced. That was certainly not the way to pry open a relic. "Not getting anywhere, are you?" He had noted the familiar writing written across the front of the chest and became lost in thought. Seeing that one side of it was adorned with an array of colored jewels, Daniel knew just what to do to get it to open.

"You shouldn't stand so close, Daniel," Siler warned when the youngster approached the alien object.

Sighing, Daniel refrained from his usual eye roll whenever someone told him that. He had been shrunk... that didn't make him stupid. He was becoming slightly irritated with everyone's attitude. "Step aside," he ordered them. When the two men just stood in place like statues, Daniel began muttering to himself. Reaching out one hand, his fingers began pressing the jewels in a sequential pattern before either Teal'c or Siler could stop him.

A click and a snap hiss a few seconds later had the chest lid popping open to the utter astonishment of both adults. Nearly sticking out his tongue at them, Daniel smacked his hands together and gave them a satisfied smile. "A Mountie's work is never done."

“We probably shouldn’t have let him do that,” Siler moaned, thinking of the dressing down they’d get from Colonel O’Neill once the officer found out.

“You are correct,” Teal’c’s deep voice rumbled, “but yet the chest is now open and nothing has harmed any of us.”

“Yet,” Siler rubbed his forehead, fearing a headache called O’Neill coming on.

Seeing the young archaeologist about to leave, Teal'c figured his work here was finished. "Do you no longer require my assistance, young Daniel?"

"I changed my mind." Daniel reached for the doorknob. "Walter makes a much better Snidely Whiplash than you would."

When the door closed after the child, Teal'c caught Siler looking back at him strangely.

“Yup,” Siler nodded, sizing Teal'c up and down, “Daniel’s right. Walter does play Snidely better.”

Looking at his clothing, Teal'c frowned. "Perhaps I need to appear more like this Snidely Whiplash. I have yet to see this cartoon but understand that the character dresses all in black and wears a top hat."

Siler could see that the other man was taking this very seriously. "Snidely also wore a handlebar moustache." Trying to picture the huge Jaffa wearing one, Siler's lips twitched. "Sorry, I just can't see it." Patting Teal'c on the shoulder, Siler was sympathetic. "There's always next time." Then chuckling, he added, "You have to admit though that Daniel makes a cute Canadian Mountie."

"O'Neill has told me that Dudley Do-Right does not compare to the Simpsons. But I must see this for myself to give an informed opinion."

"I'll take Dudley over the Simpsons every time," Siler snorted, then set about moving the chest to a more secure area now that Daniel had solved their dilemma.

++++

Control Room

"Oh, Walter," Daniel sing-songed.

Every head in the room zeroed in on the blond imp standing in the middle of the room with arms crossed, wearing a mischievous look on his face.

"I need my Snidely," Daniel announced in a clear, young voice. "Teal'c just doesn't cut it."

Briefly staring at his commanding officer, who was doing his best to keep a straight face, Walter spoke up. "I know you always get your man but not today, Daniel."

Looking around at the rest of the SGC personnel, sizing them up for prospective substitutes, Daniel scowled when they all shook their heads at him. "This base used to be fun." He tapped a foot impatiently. Then he turned around and left the same way he arrived, disappearing down the staircase.

"I think the boy's feelings may have been hurt," Hammond whispered for Walter's ears alone.

"Impossible, sir." Seeing the general's brows rise, Walter snickered quietly. "This is Daniel we're talking about," he grinned. "The regular bounce back kid."

"Even if he is currently the SGC's resident Mountie," Hammond's laughter mixed with Walter's. "Heaven help us all!"

The End