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Ray Person's Big Gay Ring

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Ray decides one sunny day, a sunny day like any other, that it's about fucking time to take some ownership of Walt's superior Aryan ass.

And not sexually, because Ray does that all the fucking time, and it is pretty spectacular, but has a whole different ring to it if the ass he's banging has promised to respect and obey him, and like, is stuck with him forever and ever.

Ray wants Walt to be stuck with him forever and ever. And Ray wants forever and ever to start pretty much this minute, so he pokes Walt awake from where he's dozing on the couch. "You're such a dick," Walt mumbles, and rubs his eyes, and Ray's heart grows until it's about to explode.

"I think you should marry me," Ray says, because Walt thinks he's a dick but he's still here, so clearly he doesn't need hearts and roses and sunshine. Though there is sunshine. And Ray's heart practically beating out of his chest. But no roses. There is no fucking way Ray is going to get roses, he's still got his balls attached.

"Uh," Walt says, and his eyes go all wide and trapped, and Ray thinks he's getting the message loud and clear.

"Joking," Ray says, fast, even though there isn't anything even a little funny about this. "Joke."

And it just fucking figures that Ray falls for the guy who agrees to marriage after they fuck for the first time but pauses after two fucking years. He should probably give up on the whole thing, just be happy with living in gay sin with Walt, so like, super sin, the kind of sin that involves awesome sex and Halo contests.

Except now Ray doesn't want to give up, not because what they have isn't good enough, because it's so good Ray kind of has to brag about it to everyone, which makes it a pretty good thing neither of them are in the marines anymore.

But Ray doesn't want to give up, because the idea of Walt running off before Ray gets his forever and ever kind of makes him sick to his stomach, and if he needs to make a sign saying "PROPERTY OF JOSHUA RAYMOND PERSON" and stick it on Walt's forehead he will do it, but a ring seems like it's less likely to embarrass Walt.

So Ray leaves Walt sitting quiet and distant on the couch, and drives around, and if he maybe stops at a jewellery store and spends their rent on a ring, there's no one to see him do it.

After that, he bides his time, true recon style, until Walt gets less and less tense, and eventually it's like it never happened, like Ray never asked, even though he has to work extra hours to actually make rent that month, and Walt swallows a lot when they go visit momma Person and she calls Walt son.

But other than that, it's all cool, until it's another sunny day, and Walt's napping on the couch again, and Ray has to poke him awake again, just like last time, but this time at least he gets down on his knees.

"You're on the ground," Walt says.

"I am," Ray agrees, and oh, wait, he's supposed to get on one knee, not two, isn't it? One knee is making an honest lady out of Walt, two knees is super-fun-blowjob-time. Ray forgot. He shifts to one knee.

"Uh, Ray?" Walt says, and he's furrowing his brow, and Ray absolutely fucking hates it when Walt does that, because it's cute and always derails him from whatever he was thinking, and what was he thinking again?

Oh yeah.

"So," Ray says. "So um."

He doesn't think he's ever had so much trouble thinking of what to say in his entire life.

"Are you, like," Walt says, all big blue eyes, "are you like, proposing or something?"

"Right," Ray says. "Right, yes, um. Walt. Walter Hasser. You know what's an awesome name? Walter Person."

"I'm not going to take your name," Walt says.

"Okay," Ray says. "Josh Hasser sounds good too."

"You're seriously proposing," Walt says.

"Yeah," Ray says. "Oh, wait, I have a ring!"

It's kind of hard to grab a ring out of your pocket when you're on one knee, but Ray hadn't been thinking this out so much.

"Jesus, you have a ring," Walt says.

"I do," Ray says. "If you want it. Or not. I could return it and then cry myself to sleep."

"You wouldn't cry yourself to sleep," Walt scoffs.

Walt clearly does not know him very well.

"I would totally cry myself to sleep, and then you'd feel really bad and marry me out of pity," Ray says.

Walt snorts.

"Okay, no," Ray says, because this is fun and all, and he's all cool with the snarky play time, because usually it's his favourite time besides sexy fun time, but right now he isn't sure it's super appropriate.

"Okay, Walt? Like, you're killing me here, because I kind of want to spend the rest of my life with you, dude, and my mom already calls you son and she gave you a better present than me last Christmas, which is totally unfair, but whatever. What I'm kind of trying to say is that I'm totally fucking gay for you, and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon, and I kind of want you to wear a ring so that nobody gets the wrong idea and then kidnaps you for sex and shit and takes you away from me."

Walt stares at him. Ray is dimly aware that he is hyperventilating like he just ran twenty miles with a humvee on his back.

"Okay," Walt says in a little voice.

"Like, yes?" Ray asks hopefully.

"You are really bad at declaring your love," Walt says.

"Well," Ray says. "I mean. You know that I do. So it seemed kind of redundant."

"You're a retarded hick," Walt says, but he's grinning and holding his hand out, and he doesn't pull back when Ray slides the ring onto his finger, so Ray isn't really going to argue with him.