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The 5 Stages of Finding Out You're Dating Derek Hale

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“Yeah! Take that mother fucker!” Stiles yells as he shot the offending avatar on screen.

“Scott man, you are sucking so bad tonight.” Stiles laughs, dropping his controller as he gets up from the couch. “Do you want another beer?” he asks stretching and making his way to the kitchen.

“Yeah sure, grab the chips too.” Scott says pulling out his phone. 

Dropping back on the couch Stiles sighs as he hands Scott his drink. “Really dude? This is our celebratory bro night for me transferring back to Beacon Hills. The missus can’t wait?”

“Hey you know she’s not the “missus”. Scott corrects. “Well, not yet” he amends getting the dopey look on his face that meant he was thinking about writing ‘Mr. and Mrs. Scott McCall’ in the air via biplane.

“Yeah I know. I have known. Best Man, remember?” As rough as a time their relationship went through in high school, Stiles is glad Scott and Allison made it. Scott had finally proposed this past summer after their junior year of college. He had even asked her father’s permission, which he only gave after taking Scott on a weeklong camping trip. No matter how many times Stiles asks about it Scott clams up and goes pale until Stiles reminds him that he’s getting to marry Allison because of it.

Now it was the end of their first semester as seniors. Stiles was transferring back to Beacon Hills for his last semester and was doing his student teaching at Beacon Hills High (the irony is not lost on him) where he was being promised a job immediately after graduation. He got to be close to his dad again, have future job security, and was even going to be there for all the major wedding freak outs sure to come. He was able to talk his Stanford professor into coming to observe him here in Beacon Hills too, so he figures all in all it is a pretty good deal.

“Oh! Speaking of the wedding, I have something for you.” Scott digs in his pocket until he produces a slightly crumpled fancy envelope. “Allison said I should just give it to you in person and save the postage stamp.” He explains handing it over.

Stiles smiles and snatches it out of his hands, because even though he knew all the details of the wedding already, it was still exciting to see the invitation. He rips open the envelope and pulls out the card inside with flourish. It’s the creamy kind of card stock that was covered in swoopy black designs and a swirly font. Stiles snorts, there was no way Scott helped with these at all.

He holds the invitation in front of him stiffly and begins to read aloud in a voice he deems appropriate for the occasion. “Mr. Scott McCall and Ms. Allison Argent along with their parents, Melissa McCall and Christopher Argent –Christopher? Really?- request the honor of your presence at the joining of their love- Joining of their love?? Scott you really should have proof read this. –on May 8th 2019 at 5:00p.m. at the Botanical Garden of Beacon Hills- we have a botanical garden? –with a reception and dinner to follow. Oh and look here a fancy little RSVP card to fill out. Well this is easy I’ll just do it now and give it to you.”

Stiles fills in all the little blanks and hands it back to Scott. “DON’T LOSE IT. I want that steak dinner man.”

“I’m not going to lose it Stiles, just give it to me.” Scott grabs it and starts reading it a confused look coming across his face. “So, uh.. does this mean Derek’s not going to make it to the wedding?” he asks looking back up at Stiles.

Stiles freezes regarding Scott warily. “I don’t know, has he sent back his RSVP?” he replies slowly. Stiles wasn’t jumping to conclusions, there is no way that Derek wasn’t going to attend just because Stiles was. They didn’t hate each other anymore; some would even argue that they never hated each other to begin with, they actually got along now. Quite well. If anything Derek wouldn’t be attending because Chris Argent didn’t want him to, not Stiles.

“Uh this is his RSVP.” Scott explains holding up the small card Stiles had just handed him. “You were invited together. It’s on the envelope.”

“We were WHAT??” Stiles yells incredulously tuning it over to find sure enough, Mr. Stiles Stilinski and Mr. Derek Hale. “Why the fuck would you invite us together?”

“Because you’re dating.” Scott explains looking at Stiles like he was a moron.

“We are NOT dating.” Stiles says firmly. “I have no clue where you would even get that idea.”

“Was it supposed to be a secret or something?” Scott asks, confused. “Because his smell is all over your apartment man, and like I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I can definitely tell you do more than hang out.” His face looks pained for a second before continuing, “especially on the couch.”

Stiles’ mouth is hanging open. True he and Derek had been seeing each other for a few months starting with a tipsy hookup over the summer following Scott and Allison’s engagement when he felt like he’d be alone forever, but they were in no way dating. They got together when Stiles was in town during the semester sure, and the times Derek came to visit him, but dating required feelings. Feelings not ruled by your dick.

 “Scott, just because you’re sleeping with someone does not mean you’re dating. Now that may be hard to grasp for someone who’s only ever done it with their ‘one true love’, but Derek and I are just in it for the sex.” Scott’s nose wrinkles. “And what do you mean his smell is ‘all over my apartment’?” he says waving his arms around, “I’ve only lived here for two weeks!”

There were a few tense moments where they stare at one another before Scott raises his eyebrow pointedly.  “OH MY GOD.” Stiles says loudly throwing his hands up and slouching back on the couch. “You are insane you hear me? Insane. Derek and I are not, never have been, and never will be dating.” He spits out like it’s a dirty word.

Stiles springs back up to face Scott again. “Just because I have an active sex life does not mean you get to jump to conclusions.” He lectures pointing his finger accusingly. “If you’re so sure I’m dating the guy who made both our lives miserable back in high school why didn’t you say anything earlier huh?”

“I thought I was being supportive! I know you hated it when I kept complaining about Sarah, even though I ended up being right about her.” Stiles scowls. “And then when you dated Dave I kept saying how awesome he was and you ended up hating him, so I just figured it’d be better if I just stayed quiet. Besides, Derek’s gotten so much better than when we were in high school. He really stepped up after we all went to college, you must’ve noticed he changed too or else you wouldn’t waste your time on him.”

“So are you an advocate for this now? Do you want Derek and I to settle down and grow old together? Raise a couple of cats? Because I have to say that is BULLSHIT.” He yells throwing his head back. “I can’t believe you dude. Do you really think that me dating Derek is a good idea, because it’s not. It is so not.” Stiles pauses for a few seconds staring at the ceiling.

“And you should trust me when I say I’m not dating him!” Stiles yells rounding on him. “Do you not think I’m smart enough to tell for myself the difference between dating and fuck buddies? Do you think I wouldn’t tell you if I were in a relationship? Because I can and I’m not. Derek and I fuck that’s what we do. There are no pesky feelings involved and no boundaries or rules that you have to call every night, or that you can’t fuck anyone else-”

“Have you fucked anyone else?” Scott asks quietly.

Stiles pauses caught off guard. “No… but I could if I wanted.” He adds petulantly “I could go out right now and fuck the next person I see no problem. Hell I could fuck you-”

“Please don’t fuck me.” Scott pleads quietly curling in on himself in horror.

“I’m wont jerkface don’t worry, my point is that if I wanted to I could fuck someone other than Derek.”

Do you want to fuck someone? Other than Derek?” Scott asks tentatively.

“I-”Stiles stops, frowning. “I mean not this very second. Sex with Derek is good. REALLY good, so I don’t think anyone would really compare.” He pauses before continuing quickly, “But who knows in the future? After this thing with Derek is over my sexual calendar will be wide open.”

“So when do you want this ‘thing’ with Derek to end?” Scott asks blinking slowly.

“Jeez I don’t know Scott.” Stiles whines “When it’s run its course? What’s with all the questions? Why do you care?”

“Because the beer we’re drinking is Red Oak.” Scott says holding the bottle up “You hate Red Oak.”

Oh god. And now Scott’s giving him the constipated puppy face. The face that means he knows Stiles is going to be very upset very soon. Because Stiles does hate Red Oak. But Derek doesn’t. And everyone knows that. Through the years anytime there was a large gathering of their friends (a pack meeting if you will) Derek always insists if they’re going to have beer it’s going to be Red Oak. If he can’t even get drunk off of it, he sure as hell is going to enjoy how it tastes. It’s the argument he always uses, and everyone always gives in because they all generally like Red Oak too. But not Stiles. Stiles always says that Derek may be the alpha, but he doesn’t control what beer he drinks, and brings his own six pack just to piss him off.

But now he’s keeping Red Oak in his fridge. Now he’s willingly drinking it because somewhere along the line of this thing he and Derek have he agreed to have Red Oak for Derek when he came over. And one time he didn’t have any of his own brand, but Derek was there and the Red Oak was there and they were both too naked and sore to go out and get anything else so Stiles drank Red Oak and maybe he liked the Red Oak and maybe he only admitted this after Derek fucked it out of him ten minutes later, but the fact still stands that now something about Stiles had changed. Because of Derek. And that’s not what should happen. Because they were casual. Casual and not dating.

“I’m not dating Derek.” Stiles says throwing the bottle of Red Oak on the coffee table a glare. “Derek is not dating me and I’m not dating him and there is no dating going on because Red Oak-” he says grabbing the bottle and shaking it violently in front of Scott “-does not equal dating.” He concludes making some vague gesture with the bottle, apparently supposed to mean dating.  Stiles thumps the bottle back down with finality and crosses his arms looking back at Scott smugly.

“Okay…” Scott says. “But what about the coffee?”

Stiles grinds his teeth because he knows exactly what Scott is talking about. At least once a week he and Derek would go and get coffee. Sort of a post-fuck/ it’s morning/ I like this coffee house sort of thing. But that’s all it was. It started in the summer when Stiles needed some coffee after their first hookup because of his slight hangover, so Derek took him to the place he liked because it was on the wayand they both sat down and enjoyed the coffee because they weren’t barbarians for Christ’s sake. When they started seeing each other on a semi regular basis it sort of became tradition to get coffee the morning after one of them stayed over at the others. They’d talk and it was nice, but it was completely platonic, no matter who paid for the coffee.

“It’s just friendly! A friend coffee that’s all! How do you even know about that?” Stiles squawks indignantly.

Scott gave him an incredulous look, probably because of the term ‘friend coffee’. “It’s the only good coffee place in Beacon Hills. Besides, I ran into Greenberg the other day. He works there you know.”

“Fucking Greenberg” Stiles sighs rubbing his hands through his hair.

“I have dinner with Lydia once a month. Like clockwork.” Stiles reminds him, “How is that different? We’re friends, that’s a friend dinner if I ever saw one.”

“Only because you don’t sleep with her first.” Scott mumbles.

“FINE. If it’s such a big deal I’ll stop getting coffee with Derek.”

“And texting him.” Scott supplies.

“And texting him.”

“And going to the movies with him.”

“And going to the movies with him.” Stiles nods, agreeing.

“And give him the key back to his place.”

“And give him the key- wait, what?” Stiles sputters.

“And make him clean out the drawer he has in your dresser.” Scott continues like nothing happened.

“I don’t- I can’t- How do you know about the drawer he has in my dresser?” Stiles cries.

Scott smiles widely, “Just a guess.”

“Oh my god.” Stiles says groaning; throwing his arm over his face and sinking back into the couch. “I can’t believe this.”

“Stiles.” Scott sighs prodding him with his foot.

“How did this happen?” he wails “I’ve been sneak dated.”

Scott snorts, “Sneak dated?”

Stiles lifts his arms to glare. “It’s a thing. It happened. Personal victim right here.” He says gesturing to himself. “Oh god I need more beer, wait no tequila, I have tequila. Yes that.” Stiles groaned crawling over the back of the couch.

Fumbling around the kitchen Stiles finds the tequila, takes a swig and grimaces. “Yeah.” He says leaning on the counter. “That’s the stuff.”

“Stiles do you really think that drinking will reverse the fact that you’re dating Derek?” Scott asks turned around on the couch to face him.

“I sure as hell can try.” Stiles responds upending the bottle.

Scott sighs joining him in the kitchen to take the tequila for a drink. “Is it really that bad though? Dating Derek?” he asks handing back the bottle. 

“That’s the thing Scott” He answers, sliding down the cabinet to the floor. “It’s not.” He puts his head on his knees handing the drink over. “I’ve liked what we’ve been doing. A lot. I just- I didn’t realize that that’s what we were doing.”

Scott sits, patting him on the leg. “So are you going to continue dating him?”

Stiles wraps his arms around his head. “Yeah, I think I am” he says small and muffled.

 “Don’t sound so excited about it.” Scott laughs. “So.. should I change that response card to two steak dinners?” he asks sticking his hand in Stiles’ hair.

Stiles sits up groaning, “Yeah I’ll take his furry ass to your wedding.”

Scott smiles so bright that Stiles wraps his arms around his shoulder in a hug. “I can’t believe I’m dating Derek Hale.” He mutters.

Scott wraps his arm around him in turn. “Me neither man. Remember when he used to scare you?”

Stiles makes an offended, noise bringing his free hand to his chest. “I was never scared of Derek. What? Don’t look at me like that! And I’ll have you know that his ‘scary factor’ brings quite the element into the bedroom.”

“Ah gross, don’t be like that!” Scott yells pulling away “I don’t want to know what you two do together while you’re-”

“Fucking? Screwing like rabbits? Making sweet, sweet love?” Stiles calls, chasing after him as he runs away.

They land on the couch where Scott ends up trapping Stiles in a head lock before he bites his arm in retaliation and they collapse on the cushions.

“Thanks by the way, for you know-” Stiles trails off quietly as their heart rates go back to normal.

“No problem dude. Now it’s time for a fucking rematch I’m going to kick your ass.” Scott says tossing Stiles a controller.

Stiles laughs and starts the game.

 

 

After Scott leaves a few hours later Stiles checks his phone. Three missed messages, one from Allison telling him not to keep Scott out all night and two from Derek. The first tells him to have a good time with Scott and the other more recent, asking if he wants to come over when they’re done.

Stiles sends a quick text saying he’s on his way before jumping into the jeep to drive to Derek’s loft. It’s a quick drive over and Stiles lets himself in with his key. He waits a second by the door to see if it’s any weirder letting himself in as Derek’s boyfriend opposed to fuck buddy as he had previously thought. He’s pleased to find that he prefers the boyfriend title, maybe because it feels more solid, more real. He walks further into the loft to find something else solid pressed along his back, holding onto his waist, and mouthing along his neck.

He laughs spinning around in Derek’s arms to face him. He reaches out and cups his face along his jaw. Derek’s stubble scratches against his palms as Stiles stares at him.

“Is everything ok?” Derek asks looking amused.

“You’re my boyfriend.” Stiles blurts louder than necessary.

“Yes.” Derek says reaching up to put his hands over Stiles’.

“We’re dating.” Stiles continues at the same volume.

“Yes.” Derek says again slower this time squeezing Stiles’ hands.

Stiles lets out a breath and moves his hands to wind around Derek’s neck. “Well I hope you want steak at Scott and Allison’s wedding because they invited us together and I had to RSVP on the spot, but I figured growly wolf, bloody steak, no brainer. Also I may or may not have known that what we were doing would technically fall under the category of ‘dating’ until a few hours ago, but I’m really on board for it now so let’s go have couple sex, which will not be boring because hey, have you seen us together in action? Hot stuff.” He moves to drag Derek in the direction of the bedroom, but stops when he physically cannot get him to move.

“You didn’t know we were dating?” Derek asks frowning.

Stiles comes back around to face him. “Well. I mean- I just- No?” he finishes lamely.

“Is that a question?”

And oh shit Derek is looking irritated now. Stiles runs his hands up his arms rubbing them up and down as he answers. “I should’ve known yeah. It was dumb of me not to see it-“

Derek huffs, “We have keys to each other’s places.”

“Yes I know!”

“We have stuff at each other’s places.”

“I know Derek! I know-”

“We go out together, we sleep together, we know each other’s habits. Why didn’t you think we were dating?” Derek finishes loudly.

“I don’t know! I don’t know. The first time was just really casual and things just happened from there and it was nice, but I didn’t realize. I’m so stupid I know, but I thought maybe you didn’t want that; that for some reason that’s not what you wanted from me so I just ignored everything that may have been a huge flashing arrow that pointed to relationship. But I want that! I do. What we have now, what we’ve been doing, which I have been so helpfully informed is something called dating, is what I want, I just didn’t know that’s what it was! Do you think you could get me to do anything I don’t want to?”

Derek stares at him for a second while Stiles searches his face for something, anything. Slowly Derek moves his arms back around Stiles’ waist.

“You’re my boyfriend.” He says slowly.

“Yes.” Stiles replies gripping Derek’s arms.

“We’re dating.”

Yes.” Sitles says grinning.

Derek pulls him closer into a hug and Stiles holds on tight letting out a sigh of relief.

“We can spend Christmas with my dad. I’ll introduce him to my handsome boyfriend.” Stiles croons in his ear.

“Yeah?” Derek says holding him tighter.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Stiles replies pulling back before kissing him enthusiastically.

“Now how about an apologetic/celebratory blow job? I’ve heard my boyfriend loves them.” He says with a grin sinking down to his knees.