Kurt leans against the bar, contemplating ordering another drink before he leaves. It’s not that late yet, but it’s been a long week and Santana seems pretty occupied with that girl she’s been dancing with all night, so it’s not like he’d be abandoning her. He’s tired, and there’s really no one here tonight who really catches his interest.
Sighing, he pushes off the bar, thinking about whether or not he should tell Santana he’s taking off. Well. He can just text her later.
He turns to go, but his way is blocked by a group of girls trying to get the bartender’s attention. He cranes his neck, trying to figure out the best way around them, but the only exit is cut off by a guy threading his way through the crowd, waving the beer bottle in his hand and snapping at the guy following him, “No, of course he’s here, I told you, of course he is -”
The guy’s eyes meet his, seem to appraise him for a second, before taking on a pleading quality. Kurt is momentarily confused, but then suddenly he’s being hugged, an armful of short, curly-haired stranger, and a voice in his ear. “Please, play along, I’ll buy you a drink or give you my car or whatever. Okay, I don’t have a car, but. Please.”
The stranger pulls back, stays close, but turns a little to address the guy following him. Louder, he says, “Found him.” And then, looking at Kurt again, “There you are, honey. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Kurt swallows, not sure what to do. The stranger is still holding onto his arm, leaning into him a little. He doesn’t seem drunk. Just a little - desperate. He takes a good look at the other man: tall, not bad looking, but a smirk on his face that overshadows any potential attractiveness.
“This is the boyfriend?” the tall guy asks, skeptically.
Kurt thinks, weighs his options, meets his stranger’s eyes again and they’re still pleading even if there’s a bright smile on his face that seems just a little too strained to convey actual excitement. And he makes a decision.
“Kurt,” he says, holding out his hand for the tall man. “The boyfriend. And you are?”
“Sebastian.” They shake hands, and Tall Guy - Sebastian - doesn’t look pleased at all. “Nice to finally meet you. Blaine just wouldn’t shut up about this mysterious guy he’s been seeing. Didn’t think you actually existed, though.”
“Oh, I’m very real,” Kurt says, turning his head to look at - Blaine. Nice name. For a crazy guy in one of the weirdest clubs in this city.
“I told you,” Blaine says, something like defiance in his voice, in Sebastian’s direction.
Sebastian shrugs. “Yeah, well. Like I said. Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you. In fact, he can watch if he wants. Or - you into threesomes, Kurt?”
Kurt shudders, hesitating just a second before draping an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. He can see why Blaine would want to get away from this guy. “No, thank you.”
Sebastian grins, obviously going for seductive, but, with the way his eyes are narrowing at them, looking more angrily annoyed. His voice is too sweet when he speaks again. “You sure? I live just a few blocks from here. Blaine knows where. Don’t you, Blaine?”
Blaine opens and closes his mouth, looks between Kurt and Sebastian. “I was - That wasn’t -”
“I know he knows,”Kurt jumps in, because seriously, this guy is starting to piss him off. “We don’t keep secrets from each other.” In a sudden burst of inspiration, he takes the beer bottle from Blaine’s hand and takes a swig, then pulls a face. “Oh, sweetheart, why do you keep drinking this stuff, have I taught you nothing?”
Blaine looks surprised for a fraction of a second, then takes his bottle back with a laugh. “Sorry, honey. Next time you get to order for me.”
“Good,” Kurt says, leaning in to let Blaine press an innocent little kiss to his cheek. “You won’t regret it.”
“I never do,” Blaine says, staring dreamily at Kurt’s eyes.
“Ugh, okay,” Sebastian exclaims, throwing up his hands in surrender. “I’m gonna let you get back to your night of meaningful conversation and knitting sweaters for each other.” He shakes his head at Blaine with a disapproving look on his face. “Too bad, really. You used to actually be fun once.”
Blaine shrugs. “Things change.”
“Obviously.” Sebastian makes a final disgusted noise at them, then threads his way back through the crowd, probably in search of someone else to harass.
As soon as he’s out of sight, Blaine slumps back against the bar, closing his eyes in relief. “Thank you,” he says. “Really. Thank you. I can’t believe that worked.”
Kurt smiles. “You’re welcome. No problem at all.” Strangely, it’s the truth. He really doesn’t mind. He doesn’t really understand either, but it was kind of fun, actually.
“I’m Blaine, by the way,” Blaine says, opening his eyes again, smiling shyly up at Kurt.
“Yeah, I got that.” Kurt laughs. “I’m Kurt.”
“Nice to meet you,” Blaine says, extending a hand politely, which Kurt takes. “And I owe you. Big time.”
“No, you don’t.” Kurt shakes his head. “That guy was creepy.”
“He was a mistake I made freshman year,” Blaine explains. “He’s kind of an asshole.”
“Doesn’t make the best first impression,” Kurt agrees.
“I’ve been telling him I have a boyfriend for months to get him to stop, but I couldn’t actually convince him until tonight.” Blaine sighs. “Maybe he’ll leave me alone now.”
Kurt leans against the bar beside Blaine, bumping their shoulders together gently. “I’m sure he will.”
Blaine grins up at him, their eyes locking for a second too long before Blaine asks, quietly, hopefully, “Let me buy you a drink?”
Kurt hesitates. “I was actually on my way out...”
Blaine pouts at him. “One drink. Just to say thank you. For pretending to be my boyfriend. Because that was really great, how you just caught on like that. So, please? Just this one before we -” he makes finger quotes in the air, “break up.”
Kurt laughs. “Okay. One drink.” He can totally stay a few minutes longer.
The following weekend, Kurt is buried under a pile of homework and can’t go out. But the weekend after that, Santana accepts no excuses and basically hovers in the doorway while he gets ready.
And it’s fun once they’re at the club, he dances with guys, drinks a bit, not too much because he still has that essay to finish tomorrow, but yeah, it’s a good night.
He’s on his way back from the bathroom when suddenly someone grabs his arm, and he turns around to come face to face with a grinning, slightly sweaty Blaine, his stranger from two weeks ago.
“Hi, boyfriend,” Blaine greets him, and Kurt has to laugh, he has no choice.
“I thought we broke up,” he says. “Hi, Blaine.”
“No, we didn’t,” Blaine insists.
Kurt looks over his shoulder. “Is that stalker of yours here tonight?”
Blaine shakes his head. “Sebastian? No. No, he isn’t. It’s just. We forgot,” he says. “It occurred to me when I was walking home that night. We never actually officially broke up. So technically, you’re still my boyfriend.” He looks so happy and so dishevelled from dancing it’s adorable. Too adorable, maybe.
Kurt rolls his eyes, unable to keep the grin off his face. “That’s ridiculous. We were never even together.”
Blaine places a hand over his heart, looks incredibly hurt. “Kurt, after all the good times we shared. How can you say that? How can you do that to me? To us? Didn’t our time together mean anything to you?”
Kurt shakes his head, and it’s just that he’s always had a thing for funny guys, and maybe he’s finding out that he has a thing for badly-gelled-down curly hair too, who knows. “I’m sorry,” he replies. “Oh, honey, I am so terribly sorry, please forgive me. Can I make it up to you with a dance? You know. Before we … break up.”
Blaine bounces on his feet before grabbing his hand to drag him off toward the dance floor.
Kurt hears footsteps hurrying after him as he’s walking down the street in the direction of his apartment. One dance with Blaine had turned into several dances with Blaine and now he really needs to go home and get some sleep if he ever actually wants to finish that essay.
“Kurt,” someone yells. “Kurt, wait.”
He stops, turns around, and Blaine skids to a halt a few inches away from him, panting.
Kurt raises an eyebrow at him, waiting for Blaine to catch his breath.
“I … was … thinking …” Blaine gets out between breaths, “maybe … could I have your number? Before we break up?”
Kurt thinks about it. “So, you’re saying we still haven’t broken up?”
Blaine shrugs. “I don’t remember saying the words, do you?”
Kurt sighs, lifts his shoulders. “Well, in that case, it seems only right that we have each other’s numbers,” he agrees and hands Blaine his phone.
This is, without a doubt, the weirdest relationship he’s ever been in.
On Sunday morning, Kurt wakes up to a text from Blaine.
Before we break up, can I take you out to dinner?
Kurt lets his head fall back against the pillow and laughs until there are tears in his eyes.
It’s been awhile since Kurt has been on a real date, classes have been crazy this semester and he still has to work to pay rent, not much time to meet anyone.
So he enjoys sitting in a nice little restaurant across from a cute guy with a big smile, a cute guy who, okay, uses way too much hair gel when he’s not out dancing, apparently. Unless they actually do get around to the breaking up they were supposed to do since the night they met, he’s going to have to mention this.
After dinner, they take a walk; there’s a small park nearby, and Kurt doesn’t resist when Blaine takes his hand as they chat away about school and family and hey, they’re both from Ohio, small world.
Blaine stops him under a streetlight when they’re walking back toward the subway, looks at him as if he wants to say something, then just hugs him. “Thanks,” he says, voice a little muffled by Kurt’s jacket. “This was really nice.”
Kurt rubs his back, then pulls back a little, searching Blaine’s eyes. “Blaine,” he says. “Before we break up, do you mind if I kiss you?”
Instead of an answer, there are suddenly lips on his, firm and warm and wet and kissing him like he hasn’t been kissed in a long time and yeah, maybe the breaking up can wait a bit longer yet.
“Oh god, just please, harder, fuck -”
Kurt groans in response, keeps rolling his hips down into Blaine and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “No, not yet, not yet -”
Blaine’s body is already straining, his skin sweaty, chest heaving as he tries to draw Kurt closer, deeper, make him go faster. “I need, I need -”
“I got you,” Kurt gasps. “Just a little more, just a little -”
“Kurt,” Blaine moans. “Fuck, Kurt, before we break up, can you make me come?”
...and Kurt collapses on top of Blaine, shaking with laughter, ignoring the hands pushing at his shoulders.
“Seriously?” Blaine whines. “This? Now? Now is when you suddenly find me funny? Because I swear, Kurt -”
Kurt lifts his head, enough to press a silencing kiss to Blaine’s lips. “Oh shut up,” he hiccups. “I always find you funny, you know that.”
“Couldn’t you just find me sexy right now?” Blaine asks, pouting. “Because I kind of really wanted to -”
“I always find you sexy too,” Kurt promises. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Blaine says, leaning up for another quick kiss. “Now get on with it before I actually break up with you.”
“Bossy.” Kurt rolls his eyes, sighs. “Well, if you insist.”
“I do, I absolutely - ahhh, okay, ohh -”
“Better?” Kurt whispers, not stopping anymore.
“Nngh,” Blaine replies eloquently, rocking up against Kurt.
“This weekend trip was the best idea ever,” Blaine says, rolling over on the small dock so he can rest his head in Kurt’s lap.
Kurt cards his fingers through Blaine’s hair, smiles down at his happy face. “Who would have thought that Santana finding a rich girlfriend with parents who own a lake house could be a good thing for us too.”
“Where is Santana anyway?” Blaine asks.
“Who cares.” Kurt bends down awkwardly to kiss him, lips landing on the skin under Blaine’s eye. “It’s so nice and quiet here.”
Blaine hums in response, closing his eyes before blinking up at Kurt again. “We’re totally waiting until we’re back in New York before we break up, right?”
Kurt laughs. “That just never gets old, does it?”
Blaine shakes his head in Kurt’s lap, then rolls over and hugs Kurt’s thighs. “Nope. Get used to it.”
Kurt sighs, props his magazine up on Blaine’s head to continue reading. His eyes catch Blaine moving his foot closer to the end of the dock, face turned toward the water, and his arms gripping Kurt’s legs a little tighter...
“If you throw me in that lake, I am breaking up with you. Today,” Kurt warns.
“Fine. Be that way,” Blaine sighs and kisses Kurt’s knee.
His dad finally stops hugging him long enough for Kurt to take a step back, look over his shoulder and grab Blaine’s hand to pull him forward. “Dad, this is -”
“Blaine, right?” Burt interrupts. “The boyfriend.”
Kurt shakes his head, and with a glance in Blaine’s direction says, “Oh, no. Just some guy I keep forgetting to break up with.”
Burt looks confused, but Blaine laughs, squeezes Kurt’s hand a little before extending the other one to offer to Burt.
“Nice to finally meet you, sir.”
“Honey?” Blaine asks, drawing Kurt closer as they sway through their dance, bumping their foreheads together.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Kurt replies, rubbing his nose against Blaine’s.
“I was just thinking - maybe it’s time to forget about breaking up?”
Kurt grins, folding his arms all the way around Blaine, resting his cheek against his shoulder. “Sounds like a good idea, especially considering how we just got married like an hour ago.”
Blaine nods against his head. “Thought so. I’m glad you agree.”
“I think at this point staying together might just be easier.” Kurt kisses his neck, grins against his husband’s skin. “Also, I kind of like you.”
“I kind of like you too,” Blaine says. “So I guess you’re stuck with me.”
“Oh well.” Kurt pulls back, spins Blaine away from him before pulling him close again. “We really kind of suck at breaking up, don’t we?”
“We do. We totally suck.” Blaine kisses him, beaming. “I like that about us. We’re lucky that way.”
“We are,” Kurt agrees. “We really are.”