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My Doctor

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My Doctor
By CC
November, 2016

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of the BBC or of the Big Finish productions.

This was written for Navaan. I hope you like it!


I was back on Earth again. After saying good-bye to Ianto’s ghost I had left and tried to heal the last of the pain in a secluded planet where all you did during the day was meditate. The seasons were mild and even in summer it was never too hot to sit down and think about the meaning of life. The nights were different, though. We would all gather together under the three moons and celebrate life in a more carnal fashion. No rules or restrictions other than the acceptance of other’s desires and comfort. It was a healing of the body, and a healing of the mind.

It was the perfect place for me.

Now I was walking around London, watching a tall, lanky man waking ahead with a red-haired beauty. The man looked oddly familiar, even though I was pretty sure that I had never seen him before. As they reached a park another man joined them, and kissed the girl. They resumed their way, looking happy and relaxed. I was about to stop trailing them when the taller man turned around and looked into my eyes. It was only a brief moment, but I knew who he was.

The Doctor, in his new body. He had regenerated again. It made me ache for the Doctor I knew first, my Doctor, the one who had danced with me until Rose made me immortal. I had never really gotten used to his next self, and this one looked different with his childish face, and bow tie.

I smiled and memories of the last time I saw the Doctor flooded my mind. He had come to say good-bye, and given me the name of the man sitting beside me. Alonso, the perfect companion for the guilt-ridden man I had been back then. I had lost my daughter after sacrificing my grandson in order to save the Earth. Alice would never forgive me for letting Steven die, as it should be. I had lost Ianto too… I had only regained a measure of peace after seeing his ghost. Wherever Ianto was now, he had forgiven me for the events that led to his death. I had yet to forgive myself, but I would get there eventually.

I would certainly love to meet this Doctor and his companions, but maybe it was not the time. I turned around to return to my hotel and almost bumped into another tall man with salt and pepper hair, and intense blue eyes.

I knew this man!

“You are---”

“Yes! Run!”

I followed the Doctor, for this was the Doctor too, wondering why he was here, deliberately crossing his own timeline.

“Hurry up!”

“Coming!”

We ran until I was out of breath. I was about to stop and surrender to whatever enemy was pursuing us when the TARDIS came into view. The Doctor opened the door by snapping his fingers, and disappeared behind closed doors.

“Oh no! You don’t!” I said, and rushed toward the TARDIS, ready to bang at the doors, and hoping that the Doctor would not pull his usual trick on me. I only realized that the doors had snapped open again when I fell to the TARDIS’ floor and barely avoided a metal structure. Did he redecorate each time he regenerated?

“I am sorry,” the Doctor said, shutting the doors again with the finger snap thing. “They were set like that since…”

I sat up. “Since you abandoned me in Satellite 5? Or since you shut the doors on me and let me die while you traveled through time?”

He threw me a sheepish smile. “Sorry for that. I’ve explained why---”

“My company makes you uncomfortable, I know.”

“I can’t help it.”

I stood up and straightened my jacket. “You didn’t seem uncomfortable with me that particular night.”

He had the grace to blush.

I grinned.

“What are you doing here, Doctor? I though you never crossed your own timeline.”

“I’ve done it before,” he said, “but I don’t do it unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

“So who are we running from?”

“I’d rather not speak about it. There! We are ready to go!”

The TARDIS rotor started to move, and the Doctor finally sat down on a chair. He took a guitar in his hands, and started to play a sad tune. Then he stopped and moved to the controls, feigning intense concentration.

“You’d rather not speak about it.”

He nodded.

“I didn’t know you could play the guitar. And what are these dark glasses for?”

He took them from me. “Just glasses. I have a sonic screwdriver now.”

“You’ve always had a screw… Can you tell me what’s going on? You are not making sense.”

“Well, there is this old enemy who’s allied himself to a strange race who want to take control of my previous companions. I’ve been following this enemy and preventing her from doing lasting damage.”

“Her?”

“Missy.”

“Who is this Missy, and why are we running away from her?”

“Because I don’t want to see her at the moment. Not after what happened to Clara.”

The conversation was becoming bizarre. “All right, who is Missy, and what happened to this girl… Clara?”

The Doctor stood up and rested the guitar against his chair. “I can’t remember Clara. I mean, I remember traveling with her, but I don’t know why she is not here now. I don’t even remember her face.”

“That’s strange,” I said. “Do you think this Missy has her?”

“No. Missy sent her to me, sort of…”

“So who is Missy?”

“The Master.”

All right. I didn’t know this was possible.

Interesting, but…

“I saw him die!”

“He survived, and tried to take over the world again.”

No surprise there.

“Then he sacrificed his life to stop Rassilon from bring Gallifrey back and destroying the universe…”

It took a while, but at last I understood what had been going on while I was away. Missy had tried to give the Doctor an army. Clara was an impossible girl, missing now. The tall, lanky guy had married his companions’ daughter.

This was strange even for the Doctor.

“So Missy decided to get back at you by taking control of your companions. Does she still want to make you the king of the universe?”

“I don’t even know what she wants now, but she has been tracking my former selves, and she really wanted to meet this me.”

“The lanky guy?”

“Yes. I think that I am safe for now.”

“He seemed nice. I would have liked to meet him.”

“Oh, you’ll meet him later.”

“I will?”

The Doctor nodded, and turned his attention to the screen. “We will land in a few hours. I suggest you get some rest.”

“Actually, I have other plans,” I said.

The Doctor looked at me with alarm, but he always did when I tried to get close, so I wasn’t surprised when he jumped back at my touch.

“Come on, Doctor. I thought we were done playing these games.”

“It’s not that…”

I encircled his waist with an arm and pulled him close. I could feel his hearts beating faster as he didn't really try to break free from my embrace. I loosened my grip, though, and there was relief in his eyes.

I let him go.

“What? You don’t like men now? Is that why you married River Song? Or is it Missy you want now?”

The Doctor shook his head. “That’s not it, Jack.”

“Then explain!”

“I’m not a hugging person anymore.”

“Bullshit!”

“It’s true!”

“Why?”

The Doctor looked at me, and then turned away and switched a random button. The TARDIS lurched forward, and then came to a stop.

“Has he… she caught up with us?”

“No, Jack. Missy is no longer looking for me, for the time being.”

“And that makes you sad. Don’t try to deny it. I’ve always known.”

“It has nothing to do with us.”

So there was still “us”? Good.

“Then why are you pushing me away? And don’t tell me that you feel uncomfortable because we both know that’s not entirely true.”

The Doctor looked haunted for a moment. “I want to understand why I forgot Clara. I do forget some things on purpose. I file them away in a corner of my mind to stay sane. This is different…”

“You feel you’re losing control.”

The Doctor sighed, and turned his back on me, “Perhaps.”

“Then let me help you.” I placed a hand on his shoulder. “You know I can, and I also need a friend.”

“No dancing this time?”

I could feel him relaxing.

I smiled.

“There will always be dancing, Doctor.”

He turned around and placed a hand on my cheek. “I still remember that first dance.”

His kiss reminded me of the Doctor I danced with for the first time. A haunted and tormented man, passionate and demanding, and vulnerable at the same time. This Doctor was not so different, but there was a difference, as it was with the second Doctor I met. This Doctor wasn’t haunted by guilt over the Time War. Something else was going on, but for now he was all mine.

“My Doctor,” I whispered, and then I pulled him closer and kissed him.


Please note that I do not give permission to anyone to translate or remix my stories. This is not negotiable.
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