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Loser

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Fraser arrived late at the police station. He hadn't been to see Ray all day, Inspector Thatcher wanted the entire Consulate cleaned, and it was almost time for Ray's work day to end.

He was searching the crowd for familiar spiky blond hair. To be completely honest with himself, Dief wasn't the only one who was transfixed by blonds. Ray's hair might not look soft, but Fraser often had urges to run his fingers through it.

He had many urges when it came to Ray, but he had learned all ago to stamp down his urges. Accosting Ray wouldn't be buddies, as Ray would say.

Suddenly Fraser saw Ray through the crowd.

'Oh, dear,' Fraser said as he saw Ray. Ray's usual energetic steps were heavy and his hair was plastered to his skull, making him look strange indeed. The last time he had seen Ray like that, he had ran into The Consulate and dropped to his knees.

Dief whimpered. Even he was worried about Ray.

'Is something wrong, Ray?' Fraser asked as Ray went over to desk and flopped down on his chair.

'It's nothing... It's just... The Cubs lost.'

Fraser knew that The Cubs were a sports team, but he thought maybe a joke would lighten Ray's mood.

'I'm sure once the the cubs find what they lost they will be happy.'

Dief went over to Ray and sat his head on Ray's knee. Ray ruffled Dief's fur. Dief licked Ray's fingers and Ray didn't even complain about wolf spit.

'Ha. Ha. Very funny, Fraser,' Ray said even though he didn't look all that happy.

'Hey, Ray. You still upset about The Bears losing The Super Dome?' Frannie asked as she walked up to Fraser.

'It's The Cubs losing the World Series.'

'Bears. Cubs. It's all the same.'

'No it's not. The Bears are a football team and the Cubs are a baseball team.'

'Yeah, yeah. Whatever,' Frannie said as she turned to Fraser. 'How you doing today?' She asked Fraser.

'I'm just fine. Thank you kindly.'

'That's great! If you ever want to come over for dinner just let me know.'

'Oh... Thank you,' Fraser knew he should she tell that her affections were misplaced, but he could never bring himself to do it. He might be brave when it came to miscreants, but not when it came to feelings or Frannie.

After Frannie left, Fraser turned back to Ray who's head was resting on his desk. He wanted to do something to help Ray and decided to channel his inner Ray Vecchio. If anyone knew how to comfort people it was Ray Vecchio. He heard Ray Vecchio say, 'Hey, Benny. Ask Ray to dinner.'

'It is almost time to leave, would you like to have dinner with me?'

Ray looked up and a weak smile crossed his face. 'Yeah. Yeah. Sure. You want anything special?'

Dief barked.

'Not as such, but Dief would prefer pizza.'

'Sounds good to me as long as we get pineapple pizza.'

Dief barked in agreement.

As they walked out of the station, Ray threw his arm around Fraser's shoulder and Fraser tried not to let his feelings get the best of him and tell Ray how much that touch meant to him. He wasn't good at expressing his feeling and it would only end badly.

They went to Ray's car and got in. Dief sat in the back and sniffled at Ray's ear.

Ray didn't turn on the radio or even drum his hands on the steering wheel. His stillness was disconcerting.

Fraser tried to distract himself by staring out the car window. He smiled as he saw that the few trees in Chicago were changing color. They were brilliant red, yellow and orange against the gray and brown of the city. No matter where he was, winter was on its way. Soon, the city would be covered in ice and snow and he could pretend that he was in Canada.

Once they arrived at Tony's pizza, they got out of the car and walked to the restaurant. Outside the square squat building stood a statue of a rather portly man lifting a pizza box over his head.

Ray opened the restaurant door and Fraser was hit by the stench of grease and melted cheese.

Tony was standing behind the counter and grinned when he saw Ray.

'Ray! My best costumer,' Tony said in his heavy Russian accent.

'Hey, Tony. I'll take one large pie of my usual.'

'Of course. Of course,' Tony said as he took Ray's order.

Fraser and Ray sat down at a wooden table with various names carved into it. Ray took a toothpick out of the dispenser and twirled it.

Once the pizza came they both took a piece. Fraser took a bite and tried not to gag on the taste of grease, cheese and pineapple.

They ate in silence which was strange because Ray usually talked fast and loud as he ate. Not all hope was lost because he saw Ray give Dief a bit of his pizza.

'You wanna come home with me and watch tv?' Ray asked as he whipped his mouth with a napkin.

'Of course, that sounds delightful.'

'Greatness. Let's go.'

They walked back to Ray's car and climbed inside. As Ray drove, he talked. His words flew through the air like a hail of bullets and Fraser released tension that he didn't realize he had been holding on to. Ray was back to himself. As he stared out the window, Fraser smiled to himself.

The car stopped at a stoplight and Ray gasped.

Fraser turned his head and watched as Ray traced the path as someone walked down the street. Fraser's eyes followed the man, but he saw no reason for Ray's reaction.

'What is it, Ray?'

'Nothing... Nothing... It's just that guy... That guy is wearing a Cubs hat,' Ray said sadly.

'Oh, dear. I had no idea sporting events affected you so much.'

'It's not that. It's just... I thought if they could win there might be hope for a loser like me, you know.'

Fraser might not be good at physical comfort and he certainly wasn't good at talking about his feelings, but he did the only thing he could.

'I don't think you are a loser,' he said as he rested his hand on Ray's knee.

Dief barked in agreement.

'Oh, yeah? How come nobody wants me?'

Fraser winced. He took a deep breath and knew what he had to do.

'I want you,' Fraser said still laying his hand on Ray's knee.

'Not like that I mean someone who wants to kiss me and stuff.'

'I do want to kiss you.'

Ray's eyes went wide and he looked down at Fraser's hand and back up. He grinned and it lit up his whole face.

'Wanna kiss me now?' Ray leaned over until his face was close to Fraser's.

'Indeed,' Fraser leaned close and their lips brushed.

Ray's lips were rough and Fraser was overcome by the scent of shampoo and cologne.

Suddenly a horn blared behind them. Ray broke the kiss and stuck his head out his window.

'Yeah! Yeah! I'm moving,' Ray yelled as he made an obscene gesture at the car behind them.

'Let's go to my apartment and kiss some more.'

Fraser just smiled. That sounded like an excellent idea.

As Ray drove, Fraser put his hand on Ray's knee again and rubbed his fingers against the worn, soft fabric of his jeans.

'Hey, I gotta ask. You and Vecchio ever fool around. You know, kissing and stuff.'

'Ray and I were wonderful friends and very effective partners, but we never kissed.'

'Okay. Okay. I got you. We gotta keep our kissing and stuff secret. I don't wanna blow Vecchio's cover.'

'Of course.'

Once they got to Ray apartment, they walked up to Ray's apartment and Ray was so close that Fraser could feel his body heat and wanted nothing more than to kiss and touch Ray. Perhaps keeping the change in their relationship would be harder than he thought.

Ray opened his apartment door and they walked in. As soon as the door was closed, Ray's lips were against Fraser's. The door knob was digging into Fraser's back, but he hardly noticed.

His hands came up and combed through Ray's hair. The strands weren't nearly as course as they looked.

Ray's tongue brushed against Fraser's lips and Fraser opened his mouth to give Ray's tongue entrance. As their tongues brushed Fraser groaned and pulled Ray even closer.

After several moments, Ray broke the kiss and rested his chin on Fraser's shoulder.

'Wow! That was greatness!' Ray said as he nuzzled Fraser's neck.

'Indeed.'

'Hey, I was thinking. Do you want to sleep with me?'

Fraser blushed. He might not know much about slag, but even he knew that sleep sometimes meant fornication. He might not have much experience with fornication, but he would try his best to satisfy Ray.

'Fornication sounds wonderful.'

'Easy there Benton-buddy, I meant sleep as in actual sleep. I've had a long day and can't have sex.'

'Ah, I see. In that case, I would love to sleep with you.'

'Cool,' Ray said as he took Fraser's hand and led him to the bedroom.

When Fraser walked into Ray's bedroom he took a moment to observe. He took in the piles of clothes on the wooden floor and the various colorful posters that hung on the light green walls. He imagined himself laying on the large bed pushed against one wall, knowing that soon it would be a reality.

Ray moved to the center of the room and took off his shirt. Fraser couldn't help, but stare at Ray's naked back. He was enthralled by the way Ray's muscles moved under his tanned skin.

Ray slid down his jeans and Fraser licked his lips when he saw Ray muscular thighs, he had the sudden urge to lick that pale skin.

'You want something to sleep in?' Ray asked as he turned around and stood in his room dressed only in green boxers.

Fraser tore his eyes from
Ray's thighs and looked at Ray's face.

'Yes, please.'

'Cool. I think I something that fits,' Ray said as he walked to his dresser. He moved some clothes around and pulled out a large shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants.

Fraser looked down at the shirt and noticed a kitten's face on the front.

'Oh, dear.'

'What?'

'It's nothing. It is just that this shirt doesn't seem like something you would wear.'

Ray ran his hand through his hair. 'It's not. My turtle bought it for as a joke.'

Ray laid down on his bed and stretched out like a cat basking in the sun.

Fraser took off his uniform and hung it over the back of chair, Ray might look inviting laying on his bed, but Fraser was still a Mountie and the uniform had to be respected.

As he pulled the shirt over his head, he caught the scent of Ray. Even though it had been a joke, Ray must have worn it at least once.

Once dressed, he moved to the bed and laid down. Ray moved around until his rested on Fraser's chest and their legs were tangled together.

Fraser had the sudden urge to touch Ray's hair and decided to give in. As he stroked Ray's hair, Ray made a happy noise and melted into Fraser's touch.

After several minutes, Ray's breathing evened out and he was fast asleep.

For more than an hour, Fraser laid on Ray's bed holding and caressing Ray. He wanted nothing more than to stay awake all night and bask in the fact that Ray was heavy and asleep on top of him, but much too soon sleep was overtaking him.

He awoke the next morning to find that Dief was sleeping on top of him in place of Ray. For one horrible moment he thought Ray had left like the one night he had had with Victoria. He knew it was foolish, Ray was the exact opposite of Victoria, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that he would find Ray's apartment empty.

He rubbed Dief's fur to calm his fast beating heart.

Dief must have felt Fraser's distress because he licked Fraser's face.

'Thank you, kindly,' Fraser said as he sat up. Dief jumped off the bed and barked for Fraser to follow him. Fraser moved slowly out of Ray's bedroom and let out a breath as he saw that Ray was indeed in his apartment. He was dancing with his turtle and his hair was spiky again.

Fraser just watched as Ray moved with a grace that should be envied. Ray was still dressed only in his boxers and his tanned skin looked almost like bronze in the morning sunlight.

Turtle wiggled his legs as he was lifted above Ray's head. Dief came up to and hopped around on his hind legs. Ray laughed.

'That's some nice dancing, Dief-Buddy.'

When Ray saw Fraser, he sat Turtle down and came up to Fraser. Ray kissed his cheek.

'Hey, I wanna thank you. I'm not a loser anymore.'

Fraser grinned as he pulled Ray close and kissed him. Ray was far from a loser and Fraser was going to spend the rest of their lives showing him that.