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The Courage To Let Go

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The echo of a voice could be heard throughout the small church. It was a beautiful voice that carried sadness beyond one’s imagination.

Upon closer examination, one could hear the song, “You Are My Sunshine” being sung.

Nobody else was here to listen, for it was a small church that had just finished a funeral service.

Most of the people had left, saying their last good-byes to the one in the coffin.

There was only one person left, standing over the open casket.

A striking woman, to say the least; a black sweatshirt and black skirt that reached to her ankles, her red hair bursting out in color contrast.

Her pale hand stroking soft, blonde hair.

Hair that would never grow back.

Hair that would never be brushed again.

Certainly not by the beautiful woman who possessed it.

Her eyes would never flutter open to reveal the gorgeous blue irises.

Her cheeks would never color again, by blush of emotion or feeling.

Her lips would never move; her mouth would never open to hear her angelic voice.

Her chest would never rise or fall, never again would one hear the strong, steady beat of her heart.

Her hands would never move, to feel the touch that only she could produce; a motherly, tender touch that made one truly believe they were safe.

The voice is becoming quieter now, as all these thoughts crush what little energy it took to sing.

Her lips still moved, though not with the lyrics of song.

Over and over, she said one word, one name that she would hold with her, closest to her heart.

“Tara.”

Her name used to bring about strength, wisdom, courage, peace, and tranquility.

Now it brings about pain, disaster, and depression.

The woman standing would carry this name and hide the ugliness it could bring, keeping close the beautiful memories that would now forever stay in her mind.

The woman standing would continue to love this name, never dare to use or think of it in vain or evil.

She would continue to love this woman, until her own dying breath, never once regretting a moment.

She may love another, but never in the same capacity.

Half of her will soon be buried, alongside her lover.

This is called true love, a soul-mate. One that only meets once in a lifetime.

It’s longer than a lifetime though…

They will always find each other, no matter how deep or wide the crevice between them lie.

Their love extends beyond simple matters such as life or death.

It is a love that is indescribable…yet is perfectly understood.

It is a love most wish they had; a transcending experience.

It is also a curse.

For if one dies, the other dies as well.

No matter how much one may tell the other, “I’ll live for you”, it is nearly impossible to.

The body and heart where you once called home, is now an empty shell.

You feel lost, alone and afraid.

The voice you once could identify in a heartbeat through a crowd is now only a whisper of a memory.

Anything once done with your love is now excruciating.

“How did I do this alone?”

Questioning the gods and heavens above, “What have I done to deserve this?”

They will fall on deaf ears, as they always have.

But never fret.

A thought came to the redhead.

One that made her fall to her knees in happiness.

The one in the casket will never leave her alone.

She will always be watching over her, assuring her safety and happiness.

Her arms will always wrap her lover, if only in spirit.

Her voice will be heard through memories and dreams.

She will always be with her, to guide and protect.

The redhead wept again, though this time for a new reason.

For happiness.

They could not part, no matter the power that tried.

Their love would not wane for one another.

The throbbing pain of her lover being gone was replaced.

Replaced with the thought of seeing her again someday.

Someday soon or later, it did not matter.

The thought of her lover standing beside her, with her hand on her shoulder gave her strength to stand.

To kiss the ghostly pale hand and forehead one last time.

To finally have the power to speak.

“I’ll see you again.”

It was not a form of good-bye to the redhead.

Simply prolonging their reunion.

Taking a slow step back, she looked at the one in the casket one last time.

“I’m so proud of you.”

She could hear her mate say in her mind.

Proud for having the courage to push past the depression and darkness.

For being able to see the light.

Sadness would linger long after this day, but there would always be happiness to follow suit.

Each step was a bit lighter than the last, knowing that she would always be beside her.

Knowing that her lover wouldn’t let her fall; slip back into darkness.

Time would no longer be an enemy, but it would be a hand in healing.

Months would go by with confusion and uncertainty.

The redhead didn’t care though.

So long as she had her light, anything was possible.

Just before leaving the room, she turned, a small, tear filled smile appearing.

“I love you.”

Those three words echoed so strongly, she felt warmth and peace fill to her core.

Her lover was responding in the same way she had for years, giving her the last push she needed to finally let go.

To accept.