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Alot of Alots

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Alot of AO3 Tags opened the door and blinked. "There's alot of noise in here, isn't there?"

One of the many shaggy creatures crowding the room tucked a pair of drumsticks behind its back, and tried to look as if it hadn't just been hammering on an upturned saucepan. "Don't look at me," it shouted - partly because it was, after all, Alot of Noise, and partly to be heard over the sobbing from the far corner. Alot of Feels had apparently encountered Alot of Angst, and while the latter often seemed content to huddle in its corner in a fog of quiet depression, Feels was rather louder, clinging to Angst and wailing desperately.

The rest of the room was no quieter. Alot of Tags averted her eyes from...whatever it was Alot of Kinks and Alot of Romance were getting up to on the other side of the room, and turned to Alot of Implied Stuff, the closest (if not necessarily the most helpful) alot. "What's going on in here?"

"It rains alot around here, and, well..."

"I hate it when it rains alot. At least when it rains water you can sail on it," interrupted a vaguely piratical and thoroughly sulky voice. The speaker was wearing a cocked hat, and had a minature sailing ship in one paw and an ocean liner in the other, which it was moodily and repeatedly crashing together. "What's the point of Alot of Ships with no water about to sail them on?"

Alot of Tags opened her mouth to reply. Before she had time to speak, another alot, its teeth bared in a fearsome snarl, had charged by, seized Alot of Ships' hat as it passed, and leaped to the top of a nearby table. A small alot in a fuzzy pink sweater squeaked in surprise as it was used as a springboard.

Jamming Alot of Ships' hat on its head, where it hung rakishly from its pointed horns, the thief then began to loudly proclaim its dominion of the tabletop and its status as Pirate King.

Alot of Tags sighed. Alot of Badassery was always a handful.

"Sorting this lot out is definitely going to require alot of coffee."