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less than three is just a tease (send those nudes, make me drool)

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The first time it happens, they’re six months into their five year mission. Spock had broken up with Nyota a week, two days and twelve hours ago. On a ship of only four hundred plus people, news of their terminated relationship traveled fast. He’s sitting at his station during a quiet shift when his PADD beeps, indicating he has a new message. Blinking, he pulls it up. There’s no source and the name is clearly some kind of moniker or alias.

[tomcat] tell me about your dick

Spock stares at the screen for a full minute before subtly turning to peruse the bridge. The rest of the crew has their eyes forward, apparently intent on their work. Nyota is deciphering a message Starfleet forwarded them; Ensign Chekov and Lieutenant Sulu are conferring over a map; Captain Kirk is slouched in his chair, feet kicked out in front of himself, looking very much like he’s about to fall asleep. He returns to his PADD just in time for another message to appear.

[tomcat] it’s gotta be different from a human cock right?

Despite himself, Spock feels compelled to reply.

[LCDRSpock] It is different, yes. This is an inappropriate line of conversation, however, particularly as I have no idea who you are.

[tomcat] if I give you a hint, will you send me a picture?

[LCDRSpock] That sounds reasonable.

[tomcat] I have blue eyes.

Spock frowns minutely at his screen. There are a number of individuals aboard the USS Enterprise with blue eyes. Blue is a rather common eye color in humans, after all. Still, it was a hint, and he had agreed to send a picture. Without further thought to the issue, he quickly snaps an image of the console in front of him and attaches it to his reply.

[LCDRSpock] There are a number of blue eyed individuals on this ship. That is not an acutely defining hint.

[tomcat] that’s a sexy station but I meant a picture of you

[LDCRSpock] You did not specify what the picture had to be of.

[tomcat] touché

The messages stop, and he spends the rest of the shift working silently, the conversation pushed to the back of his mind until he could meditate on it later.