Kakashi was ambushed first thing in the morning on his way to the memorial stone.
A flash of orange and yellow in his peripheral vision along with the scent of sweat and dirt was all the warning he had before he was tackled from behind. Luckily, Kakashi only stumbled a little under the weight instead of completely faceplanting onto the sidewalk. Unluckily, he was trapped by a pair of arms and legs wrapped around him like a vise and he couldn't throw the blond heavyweight off of him.
"Good morning, Sensei!" Naruto was disgustingly cheerful for this time of day. The sun had barely begun to rise and yet he was already his usual, hyperactive self. Kakashi noted the streaks of dirt all over the other man's face and arms and the vague scent rotten eggs that permeated the air around them, all details which led him to believe Naruto must have just gotten back from his latest weeklong mission. He felt a little warm at the idea that Naruto had stopped by to see him even before going home to take a well-deserved (and much needed) shower.
"So..." Naruto drew out the word, until it was five times as long.
Kakashi placed his hands on Naruto's forearms where they wrapped around his shoulders and continued his trek toward the memorial stone while he waited for the blond to get to the point.
"Have you had time to think properly about what we talked about last week yet?" Naruto asked ever-so-sweetly. He'd certainly gotten straight to the point quick enough, Kakashi thought.
"Hm?" Kakashi had learned early on that the best thing to do when one didn't want to answer a question, and yet found themselves faced with a curious and determined Naruto, was to feign ignorance.
"Ah, so that's how we're playing it, eh Kakashi?" Naruto whispered, hot breath warming the shell of his ear.
"Playing what?" He asked, distractedly.
Naruto chuckled. "Okay. If that's how you want it," and with a nip to his ear, Naruto had let go, hopping off Kakashi's back. Kakashi had just enough time to turn around and see the other man form a few familiar looking hand signs before vanishing in a puff of smoke. Shivering in the cool morning air, Kakashi wasn't sure if he should be concerned by the dark look Naruto had given him just before disappearing.
Shrugging it off and continuing on his way, he decided to push the strange moment out of his mind for the time being. No doubt, Naruto wasn't through with him yet.
Unfortunately, it wouldn't be out of his mind for very long as Naruto's early morning visit pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day.
Their next meeting came later that morning, where Kakashi was accosted in the middle of the mission room.
Naruto didn't jump on him like before but he did manage to sidle up to him in the over crowded room so that he was directly behind the elder jounin in line. When Kakashi felt the heat of another body along his back, he knew immediately who it was.
As the room was full to capacity, there was nowhere for Kakashi to turn to move away. As it was, he was caged in on all sides by other shinobi, some with genin teams like himself, eager to get their mission for the day and others alone or in small pairs or groups.
Kakashi rued the very moment he decided babysitting a fellow jounin-sensei's team had been a good idea.
As he moved forward in the line with the three genins he was accompanying standing before him, Naruto followed, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, yet again.
"Still want to play at being coy, Kakashi?"
"I'm not sure what you're talking about, Naruto." Kakashi said evenly.
"Sure, you don't." Naruto chuckled and the sound reverberated along his spine.
"Hm," was all Kakashi said in reply, wishing it wasn't so crowded so he could pull out his book.
He stiffened at the sudden sensation of a wide hand squeezing his hip. It lingered just for a moment before the hand, and the presence behind him, retreated completely.
Kakashi didn't have to turn around to know that Naruto was gone once again.
As the three genins worked out a way to capture their client's rogue cat, Kakashi watched on from a spot in the trees above. They were working their way through the forest in formation, trying to surround the animal when it happened again.
One minute Kakashi was listening in, giving a few suggestions through an earpiece when he thought it was needed and the next Naruto appeared behind him again. He was becoming better at sneaking up on Kakashi by the hour, it seemed. Kakashi didn't startle, he hardly ever startled, but his mind wanted to allow his body the privilege all the same and he found himself having to clamp down on the urge to jump in surprise.
"I don't remember you ever giving us advice like that." Naruto sounded amused.
Kakashi didn't reply, instead focusing on his team. They were doing well for genins; he'd hardly had to give them any pointers at all.
"Are you ignoring me, Kakashi-sensei?"
Clearly, he was, not that he'd say it out loud. He paid all his attention to the genins. The team was a few meters from the target. Kakashi mentioned to the boy he'd assigned as team leader for this exercise to always double check that his teammates were in position and ready before anyone made a move.
"Sensei," Naruto purred, his voice a low, deep rumble in his throat. Kakashi's pulse sped up just a little bit. He licked his lips behind his mask.
When the team went in for the kill, so to speak, Kakashi leaned forward to get a better view. Before he could reach up to press the com button to notify the genins of a potential flaw in their plan, he choked. Naruto had wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him from behind. One hand slid under his flak jacket, palm spread over his abdomen, and the other hooked a thumb into his waistline, fingers curving all too close to his—
"Naruto," Kakashi warned.
"Aren't you going to give me an answer, sensei?" He sounded like he was pouting. He probably was but Kakashi didn't bother looking back at him to check.
Kakashi was saved from having to reply when the genin team leader came in on the com-line. They'd captured the target and were ready to head back to the mission room for delivery and payment. He knew the boy was telling the truth, he could hear the cat hissing all the way from here.
As he tried to move from the tree branch to the forest floor so he could meet up with the team, he was pulled back, suddenly. Not that he'd really managed to forget Naruto's arms were wrapped tightly around him.
Naruto nuzzled him, nose tickling the hairs at the nape of his neck before sighing and unlinking his arms.
"Don't worry, Sensei. You'll see me again soon."
How the blond managed to turn the removal of them into a full body grope, Kakashi would never know but he didn't stop to ask as he jumped off the branch, heading in the direction of his team.
For a long while after he'd gone, Kakashi felt unsettled.
After a very filling, and very satisfying, lunch of grilled saury and miso soup, Kakashi took a walk through the marketplace. He'd sent the genins on their way after their mission and as many of those who usually found themselves in the market during the day were off having lunches of their own, it was quiet and relatively empty.
A perfect place to get in some reading and nice walk.
Or, it should have been.
This time, he managed to sense Naruto just before the blond was upon him (unlike his previous ventures where he hadn't known Naruto was near until Naruto had been literally on top of him).
The sensation of displaced air and then Naruto was at his side, one long arm thrown across Kakashi's shoulders.
"Good afternoon," Kakashi decided to speak first this time.
Naruto's smile was blinding. Kakashi looked away.
"Sensei, you seem happy to see me." Kakashi rolled his eye. Trust Naruto to get the wrong idea.
"Hm." There was a long pause. Naruto looked expectant. "I wouldn't exactly say 'happy'." He turned a page in his book and kept on walking. Naruto was left behind in the dust with a gaping maw.
Kakashi smiled. Kakashi: 1, Naruto: 0.
A moment later, Naruto caught up and had his arm back around Kakashi's shoulders again. To an outsider, they might have looked like a couple going out for an afternoon stroll. His shoulders tensed at the thought but he didn't dislodge the other man's arm. It's not like Kakashi cared what other people thought anyway.
Naruto harrumphed. "I'd decided to give you some time, you know. Get used to the idea and all but it almost looks like you want to make this difficult."
"Come again?" Kakashi said, like he hadn't been paying attention.
He clearly hit a nerve in the other shinobi if the rate at which Naruto's eye was twitching was anything to go by. Kakashi did his best not to smirk.
With a hand high up on his shoulder, Naruto stopped him. He leaned in close, looked directly into Kakashi's eye and asked, "What would it take to get you to agree?" Naruto asked about his unspoken request. As much as Kakashi played dumb, he knew exactly what the other man wanted from him.
"A lot more than you've offered, most likely." Not an unsurprising answer, seeing as Naruto hadn't actually offered him anything at all as of yet.
Naruto frowned as he thought. Kakashi inhaled slowly. Naruto's thumb was caressing his neck through the material of his mask. He didn't move a muscle, waiting patiently until Naruto twitched a little and grinned.
"Until later, Kakashi." Naruto said with renewed vigor.
Kakashi narrowed his eye as the blond walked away from him. There was a spring in his step that hadn't been there before. His normal eye narrowed even more. Just because Naruto would inevitably try to bribe him with... kami only knew what, didn't mean Kakashi would accept. In all likelihood, he wouldn't on principle. Not that it stopped the nervous tremor that went through him when he wondered just what it was Naruto would come up with.
After the latest run-in with Naruto, Kakashi had decided to do some training to work off some the excess energy he found himself with. Try as he might, he couldn't stop his mind from wondering what it was that Naruto could possibly come up with to try and sway him, which was a problem. It wasn't like he was going to agree to anything Naruto could offer him anyway, because what the blond had requested of him the week before he left on his mission was truly that ridiculous. So why then was he anticipating the moment like he would have one of Jiraiya-san's soon-to-be released books?
He was distracted and his training suffered for it. Finally, Kakashi dismissed his shadow clone, packed up his gear and went to the one place he always managed to find a distraction for himself. The bookstore.
An hour and several highly questionable purchases later, Kakashi stepped outside of his haven in a much better mood. He had almost managed to forget what it was he had wanted to put out of his mind before he sensed Naruto behind him again and cringed. Just as he meant to turn around and face the blond he heard, "Oiroike no jutsu!" and froze in place.
Naruto hadn't... done what Kakashi thought he had, had he?
Slowly turning he realized that yes. Naruto had done what he'd thought he'd done.
Long, blonde pigtails. That's what Kakashi let himself recognize, the rest... well, the rest was sure to cause a horrendous nose—headache if he thought about it too much. He focused on the two blue eyes that were surely laughing at him and nothing else.
Kakashi... really didn't need this right now. In all honesty, he didn't need this ever but since he was living in the moment, he just decided he didn't need this right now and made an about face. If he could just get to his apartment and barricade himself inside, maybe he might be able to wait until Naruto regained his sanity. Yes, that sounded like a good idea.
Too bad Naruto had probably picked up on his thoughts – Kakashi allowed him way too much leeway in that arena, he'd have to start showing Naruto the door more often – because in the next second he'd pounced, gracing Kakashi with a hundred and some odd pounds of bouncing, bubbly, naked blonde flesh clinging to his chest.
Kakashi cleared his throat. "Can I help you?"
"Yes," Naruto purred. He had his arms around Kakashi's neck like a heroine on a cover of a romance novel, naked breasts pushing up against him provocatively. Kakashi had never realized just how big they were before. And soft. Squishy. More than enough to fill his two ha— Then again, he'd never had them pressed up against his chest like this before.
"So," Naruto said in a high, feminine sounding voice. "This enough to help you make up your mind, Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi just raised an eyebrow. "What exactly is 'this' supposed to be?"
"A night with the girl of your dreams? Someone willing to fulfill your every desire... to do anything your perverted mind can come up with?"
Kakashi thought about it. For a long time he thought about it. It was a tempting offer. He'd always wondered what it would be like to be with Naruto's female form... he was beginning to have a hard time remembering exactly why he was so unwilling to say yes.
"Come on, Kaka-sensei," Naruto begged prettily, pressing his firm and yet supple breasts up against his chest. "Please? I think you would look really—" Oh yes. Now he remembered.
"I'm not interested in playing dress up for you, Naruto. I've already given it some thought and I'm pretty sure there's nothing you could come up with that could change my mind."
"So you have thought about it." Naruto's eyes practically glittered at him.
Kakashi frowned. That wasn't the point.
"Either way, my answer is 'No,' Naruto. End of discussion." And with that, Kakashi turned and walked away.
Dismissing the Justu, Naruto watched Kakashi try and walk away like he doesn't have a stick shoved down the front of his shorts. He hummed to himself before recognizing the store he's stood outside of and smirked.
Somehow, he had a feeling the answer to all his problems could be found just inside this very store.
It was very late in the afternoon, almost into the evening hours when Naruto made his last play of the day. Though this time he didn't begin with any sort of physical touch to Kakashi's person like he had during all his previous attempts. This time, Naruto simply appeared a few steps behind as Kakashi was unlocking the door to his apartment and uttered a few seemingly innocuous words.
"Icha Icha Tactics, Volume 4."
Kakashi stopped in his tracks, as if frozen. Slowly, he turned to face Naruto with an appraising eye.
"Icha Icha Tactics. Volume 4. Page 233. The scene with the maiden and the ronin, Tat-su-o," Naruto sing-songed, somehow managing to smirk all the while.
Kakashi tilted his head to one side. How the hell did he... Naruto gave him a toothy grin.
"That is what you want isn't it, Kakashi?"
"And what would make you think that?"
"Oh, I did a little book shopping myself this afternoon. It's amazing the kinds of things Natsu-san knows about his patrons. He was very helpful." Naruto's voice was dark and smooth and very dangerous.
Kakashi was at a loss for words.
"I was right. That's what you want, isn't it?"
He narrowed his eye. "And if I did?"
"Then you'd be willing to make a trade." Kakashi frowned.
"In return, you want—"
"I want what we talked about last weekend... before I left on my mission."
Kakashi swallowed. "And, you'll— the whole scene?" He asked, a little incredulously. He'd never known anyone who was willing.
"Every. Last. Little. Detail." Naruto purred, eyes gleaming in the twilight. "I picked up some rope and a few other supplies just this afternoon." He shook the bag he had in his hand.
Kakashi shivered, closing his eye. Damn him.
"What do you say, sensei?"
Kakashi's eye snapped open, assessing. After a minute, he turned around and walked into his apartment. The door, he left open behind him.
Unsurprisingly, the uniform was already laid out on his bed. White blouse, pleated skirt, knee-high socks and sensibly plain shoes all included. There was even a dark blue headband and a tube of cherry lip-gloss to finish the whole look off.
Kakashi sighed as he pulled off his gloves and unzipped his vest. This had better be worth it.