So… time is not as linear as everybody thinks. On the contrary. It's like… a sphere, or a globe, or Schrödinger's cat – straightforward and anything but. Sometimes it causes strange things to happen, like meeting your past self in the future. Or is it your future self in the past?
It's all a bit complicated. It's a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey… stuff.
Which is why the Doctor wasn't all that surprised when he met his past self in Diobath. Like he didn't already have his hands full with sky falling down on them, and now he had to make sure that the past him didn't meet Amy and Rory too early. Oh what a joy.
Distracting Rory and Amy wasn't that hard in the end. Distracting himself – well, sort of, was another story. It was strange, really, to remember how everything had happened in the past while they were happening to him at the present. Confusing much? Luckily to the Doctor he was a Time Lord, so multiple timelines that were all about him and happening at the same time weren't that hard to do. The joys of predestination paradox never ceased to amaze him. Oh.
Oh. This was bad. Really bad. He really hadn't been alright at that point in his life, hadn't he? It was quite recently after he had lost Donna, and what a mess he had been. Bitter and angry, wanting to prove the universe that he was a Time Lord, ruler of time and space, and he could change the major events without consequences. And look where it got him. The… incident of Bowie Base One was such a mess. Then again, so was he at the time.
The current Doctor then took a deep breath, and prepared to meet his past self. Which, given his state of mind at the time, didn't start so well. Why is it that every time he meets his past self, the past Doctor is not that fond of his current looks or actions?
It takes some fast talking and exuberant hand-waving, but the Doctor got the point across to the man he once was. And still is, in some ways, because you can't completely ignore who you were in the past even if your face looks different now.
The Doctor remembers what will happen next, and even the thought of it makes him giddy with anticipation. It was one of the brightest moments in his past life, even if he only remembers it now. Ah, the time distortions. Part of him wishes his past self would still remember what will happen between them when he gets back to his own timeline, but the Doctor knows it's not going to happen. One can always wish.
The Doctor's musings are interrupted when his past self looks at him with such a pleading look in his eyes. The Doctor can't help but kiss the other man – he knows what the past Doctor is experiencing right now and some care and affection is in order. The chaste kiss soon turns into something more passionate, and before long the younger Doctor is moaning earnestly. There are certain advantages of kissing yourself, because one knows for certain what kind of kisses are the most pleasant ones and which ones aren't.
The Doctor knows that his younger self is desperate and eager, so he wastes no time and manoeuvres them to his TARDIS. Their TARDIS. Well, to TARDIS, who can't decide which console to show because of them so it gets stuck to the Leopard Skin theme. Not his favourite, but who cares when you have someone trying to remove your clothes faster than you can say "cat"? Speaking of clothes, where is his bowtie? Oh. Oh. Yes, of course. That had completely slipped his mind. How come everyone dislikes his bowties when they are so cool?
The Doctor has no time to ponder over the loss of his bowtie when they are both very, very naked and needy. He remembers now how he felt that day, torn between wanting to punish himself for everything that had happened and wanting to feel loved at least for a moment. The Doctor kisses the past self gently, oh so gently, pouring all his love and affection to that one kiss. That kiss is saying "It will be okay, it will be alright, even if you can't save everyone." The past Doctor sighs quietly, and it's as if the weight of the world has been lift from his shoulders. Their kissing soon turns to something more, and soon they are tangled together in a heated embrace at Doctor's private chambers. No one has been in these chambers besides the Doctor, and for a moment he briefly wonders what it would be like to have River there one day.
Those thoughts are banished from his mind when the past Doctor looks at him coyly under his lashes. How come he didn't realise before how gorgeous his eyelashes were then? Or those lovely freckles? No wonder Martha was crazy about him, even if he didn't quite notice it at the time. Hmm… what is Martha doing these days, anyway?
Okay, so no thinking about past companions and unrequited love when you're about to have sex with yourself. Kind of. Except not. In a very Time Lord –like way.
The Doctor grabs the lube from the bedside table, silently asking for the younger Time Lord’s permission. The past Doctor says nothing, just positions himself on his back, with a pillow under his hips and a pleading look in his eyes. The Doctor’s hands are shaking so badly he almost can’t get the lube open, and once he does he coats his fingers generously before pushing one finger inside the other man.
The younger Doctor hisses, and urges his older self to give him more, faster, now. The Doctor is happy to comply, and soon there are two fingers, three fingers inside the past Doctor. The Doctor knows neither of them will last much longer, so he withdraws his fingers and coats his throbbing cock with way too much lube before pushing in.
His younger self is so good and tight and hot beneath him, his back arching in synch with the Doctor's thrusts. The Doctor changes his angle bit by bit, until he hits the past Doctor's prostate. The younger Time Lord is babbling incoherently, asking for more and more and more until The Doctor can’t hold back his orgasm anymore. For a moment he sees white, before collapsing on top of his younger self.
It takes a while for the both Time Lords to recover from the frantic love-making. The Doctor strolls to the bathroom and returns with wet towels to clean them both up. Soon, they are spooning in their bed, holding each other close. Only one of them knows for sure what the future will look like, and how he will become the man he is now. For now, they both can forget about the universe for a while, before the man he used to be goes back to his own timeline.