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Totally Not Friends

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“Let’s live together on the border during the summers,” they said.

“It’ll be fun,”  they said.

No one said anything about living in a tiny house.

And no one definitely ever said a damn thing about needing to share a room with that pineapple-headed jerk.

Leo sighed through his nose. He supposed he’d have to bear through it. After all, Kamui and Corrin loved all their siblings equally, and wanted them all to get along.

Azura, Elise, and Sakura were all ecstatic . Leo supposed he should be happy that Elise was happy... and that Sakura was actually growing on him…

But Azura, unlike the others, got her own room.

Azura, unlike the others, didn’t involve herself in the squabbles of either of Corrin and Kamui’s families, and didn’t care, yet her vote still counted.


A bit hesitantly, Xander, Camilla, and Ryouma and Hinoka had also agreed.

In fact… the only ones against it were Leo and Takumi.

And yet they were still being forced to share a room.

“Are you alright, my Little Leo?”

Leo frowned at Camilla in the passenger seat. She had one arm draped over the back and was staring at her younger brother, who sat leaning against the left window while Elise sat next to the right, kicking her feet. Xander was driving, doing his best to ignore them via classical music.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled over some Tchaikovsky piece.


“I’M FINE,” Leo repeated.

“Oh.” Camilla smiled, twirling a finger in her purple hair. “Are you excited?”


“ARE YOU- oh, gods damn it.” Camilla reached over and turned down the music.

“Hey!” Xander protested.

“Leo, you don’t look like you’re fine,” Camilla expressed, ignoring their elder brother. “Is something wrong? You look miffed.”

Leo snorted. “Well, excuse me if I’m not all too excited to spend the next few months with someone whose hair perpetually looks like they’re trying to sneak a bottle of vodka and a pineapple into a concert.

Xander and Camilla turned red as they tried to stifle giggles.

“Now, Leo, that’s not very nice,” Elise said, covering her mouth daintily with one hand, although she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hey, now,” Xander said, looking at his younger brother in the rearview mirror, “isn’t it better than the lobster?”

“STOP,” Camilla demanded, punching Xander in the arm as she burst with laughter. “We’re going to be living with them!”

“I can’t wait !” Elise gushed. “I get to hang out with Sakura, all summer ! We can play games, and do each others’ hair, and-” the littlest sister exhaled loudly, throwing her arms into the air. “Oh, it’s going to be awesome !”

“Well, what about you, Camilla?” Leo asked, rolling his eyes. “How do you feel about sharing a room with Hinoka?”

“Oh, you know. She’s quite adorable, in a roguish, tomboyish sort of way. Though I don’t think I’ll be doing her hair much.” Camilla smiled wistfully. “We don’t seem to have much in common. Maybe we’ll play cards or watch TV or something.”

“Hm.” It seemed like all of Leo’s siblings weren’t too upset about their sleeping arrangements. At least they got on with the others. Leo couldn’t say the same. He figured Xander and the lobster would talk about sports and war movies, Camilla and Hinoka would watch TV shows or something, and Elise and Sakura would spend the entire summer playing around and having fun together. All while Leo stewed in agony.

Mm… stew.


Now he was agonized and hungry.




“Big brother,” Sakura whispered to Takumi, “we’re almost there.”

“Ah.” Takumi clicked his tongue.

“Little brother,” Hinoka scolded. “You sound unhappy. What’s wrong?”

Takumi grimaced. “I have to share a room with that Nohrian scum… for two months.”

“Ah, get over yourself,” Hinoka said, giving her brother’s head a playful shove. “I have to share a room with Camilla, and you don’t see me complaining.”

“You like Camilla.”

“Well, she is pretty cool.”

“And Sakura likes Elise.”

Sakura blushed and looked down at her feet, smiling.

“And Ryouma respects Xander.”

Ryouma nodded, giving a grunt.

“And I’m pretty sure Azura doesn’t care.”

Azura didn’t answer. She was sitting in the passenger seat, next to Ryouma and in front of Sakura. Hinoka sat between her younger siblings, one arm around Sakura.

“Lighten up, Takumi,” Hinoka said as they pulled into the driveway of their summer home. “You can at least smile.”

Takumi drew his lips back in what was clearly fake excitement.

“Ew, no, don’t do that. You look like you’re plotting everyone’s murders.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Shut up and get out.”

They all stepped out of the vehicle as Corrin and Kamui ran outside to greet them, having arrived some days before to make preparations for everyone.

“Ryouma! Azura! Hinoka! Takumi! Sakura!” Corrin shouted, rushing over to hug Sakura.

Kamui laughed, crossing her arms. “He could hardly sleep last night, he was so excited.”

“Hey! Neither could you ,” Corrin said as he held Sakura in the air, lifted in an embrace.

Ryouma had already opened the trunk and had four suitcases underarm, whilst Hinoka unstrapped their bags that were secured to the top of the car. “Hinoka and I will put everything away. You all can wait here.”

“I’ll help you,” Kamui said, walking alongside her older siblings.

Azura smiled as she walked over to Corrin, blue hair trailing behind her. “My, you look excited.”

“I am!” Corrin grinned as he set Sakura down. “Get over here, let me give you a hug.”

Azura laughed giddily as Corrin wrapped his arms around her, and she gently laid hers on his back. “I’m so happy to see you smiling.”

“Thanks, sis.”

Takumi smirked and crossed his arms, shaking his head.

“Oh, don’t pout, Taco Meat, I’ve got a hug for you too.”

“Don’t call me that,” he sighed as Corrin jumped towards him in a hug.

“Look!” Sakura said, pointing. “It’s the others!”

Surely enough, a sleek black car was pulling into the long drive. Parking adjacent to Ryouma’s vehicle, the Nohrian siblings stepped out.

The eldest, Xander, stretched as he stepped out, followed by Camilla, who smiled at everyone. Elise rushed out immediately, running at and tackling Sakura, who fell to the ground with a surprised “Oof!”

Finally, there was the third Nohrian, Leo. Takumi did little to hide his distaste.

Leo glanced around boredly, holding several books in her arms. He did not seem like an outside person whatsoever.

“Hello, everyone!” Camilla chirped, walking over to Corrin, who enthusiastically accepted her hug.

Takumi sighed. “Hello, Xander. Camilla. Elise. Nohrian scum.”

“Hello, Takumi.” Leo looked Takumi up and down. “Nice dress.”

Takumi turned red, sputtering. “It’s a yukata !”

“Oh? I wouldn’t judge if it were a dress. Though either way, it doesn’t look good on you.”

Takumi glared, open-mouthed, not dignifying that bastard with a response.

“Be nice, you two!” Corrin scolded, putting his hands on his hips and puffing his cheeks out like he did when he was upset. Like now. “Leo, Xander, get over here and hug me, for the love of gods.”

Leo rolled his eyes and walked over to Corrin. “Hello, brother.”

“Did you miss me, little bro?” Corrin asked, patting Leo’s back as they embraced.

“Of course. It gets dull only having one big brother. Especially the one who never shuts up about the latest sports games.”

“It’s not my fault my fantasy team is doing so well!” Xander argued as Corrin next went to him.

Azura chuckled. “Don’t worry, Leo, you’ll have plenty of people to talk to here.”

“Thanks, Azura, but I think I’ll stick to my books.” Leo pulled his suitcase out of their car’s trunk and popped the handle out, rolling it up to the door. As he passed Takumi, he said, “See you in our room, 'Taco Meat '.”

“Shut up !” Takumi shouted.

Camilla walked over to him and patted his shoulders. “Don’t worry, dear, I think your kimono looks very nice.”

It’s a yukata .”

“HEY! I’ve got a great idea !” Corrin announced, clearly to divert everyone’s negative energy to something else. “Let’s all go inside ! Doesn’t that sound fun?!”

“I agree,” Azura announced happily, clapping her hands together and closing her eyes as she smiled. “I quite want to see my room. Does everyone agree?”

Takumi sighed. “Whatever.”

Corrin grinned. “C’mon, you’ll all love your rooms!”

Takumi had better damn well like his room.

Otherwise, this summer was going to be miserable.




Leo and Takumi’s room was rather small, but that was to be expected. The building was Hoshidan; rooms were built for efficiency, not for luxury.

Despite being a Hoshidan building, however, it was clearly influenced by Nohrian architecture. The room had a knobbed door, but the closet was a sliding door. Another sliding door, this one glass, opened to a balcony (Leo was grateful Corrin and Kamui deemed he and Takumi worthy of having a balcony room, perhaps it was to make up for the awful rooming arrangement), serving as the only window in the room. There were two beds against the wall opposite of the main door, on either side of the closet, each next to a nightstand, with simple white sheets. Leo wasted no time covering the one he claimed as his (the one to the right) with his plush blankets and throw pillows. There was also, thankfully, a large bookcase against the far left wall, and two comfortable-looking armchairs. He tidily put away all of his books when Takumi entered the room, Corrin with him. The two entered suddenly, almost causing Leo to drop his novels.

“Here you are, little brother!” Corrin announced, grinning. “See? Leo’s already made himself at home; you do the same, and you two can talk for a bit if you like! Dinner’s at six. See you both then!”

Corrin shut the door behind him, leaving Leo and Takumi to stare at each other awkwardly.

Leo scowled, turning back to the shelf. “Aren’t you going to put away your things?”

The Hoshidan answered by kicking one suitcase under his bed. “There. Halfway done. Problem solved.”

“Ugh.” Leo motioned to the closet in a very unsubtle manner.

“I assume you’re going to use that.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

They stood in silence, glaring at each other, for nearly a full minute before Takumi scoffed and turned away, reaching down to unpack his other things.

Leo sighed. “Look, we might as well get this out of the way. You and I not going to be friends.”

“What a coincidence!” Takumi said with mock enthusiasm. “I was just think the same thing.”

The other man laughed. “Of course you were. You have such an arrogant attitude and-”

“Me?! I’m not the one going around and patronizing everybody! You’re the jerk!”

“Is that the best you can do?” Leo scoffed. “You sound like a whiny, little brat. Just as expected.”

They glared at each other, both seething with hatred.

“Let’s make a deal,” Leo began, rolling his eyes at his new roommate. “You stay away from me, and I’ll stay away from you. Think you can manage?”

“Hmph! I’m not going to let you boss me around like that!” Takumi stated, throwing his blankets over his bed as he began to ignore Leo.

Leo shook his head and mumbled, “Insufferable. Truly… insufferable.”

This was shaping up to be a long… long summer.