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The Six Times Bob Benson Tried To Seduce His CoWorkers

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*knee touch*

Don sits up, buttons his suit jacket.

"Wrong bathroom pal. Look, you're a good kid, and this never happened."

*knee touch*

Roger finishes his drink. Ben hits his knee again. Roger rolls his eyes.

"Seriously, that's your opening move? I'm not a virgin at the box social Bub, yeesh. Not that I'm not flattered, but if you want to chase some light loafers you need to be a little more direct. This isn't Mayberry or Podunk or whatever it is you fell out of. Here's Jane's number, she has some friends. Seriously you're farm teaming it."

*knee touch*

Bert gives Bob a thousand yard stare and pushes Bob's knee back into place.

"Listen I fended off Adulous Huxley and John Maynard Keynes fresh off a benzos bender, you're not trying anything new there."

*knee touch*

"Why are you touching my leg?" Stan furrows his brow.

"I just thought I could have more input into creative if-"

"UUUGH, why does everyone try to? Here." Stan pulls two joints from his case on the desk. "Relax, be cool, and chill."

A while passes.

"is it true what they say about ...people like you?"

"Say what Stan?"

"like with the oral thing, that's it's...cause it's the same thing."

"Where would you've heard that Stan?"

"I keep my ears open."

*knee touch*

"Stop touching my legs it's driving me crazy." Micheal says while sitting and fidgeting.

"It's what I said before, I could help you, comfort you" Bob puts his hand on Ginsberg's leg

"I could be here for you."

Micheal winces and recoils. "No touching, we don't do the touching, and you're hair and the hair you have is just freaking me out it's like a bowl of evil brown pasta, just go-"

"Micheal-"

"GO FORTH PASTA MAN. GO!"

*knee touch*

"I just feel like I'm so close to cracking Don, you know?" Ted looks like he's a million miles away.

"Enough about Don, what about more ..pressing matters? How are you feeling?" Bob puts his leg closer against Ted's own.

"I'm so glad we can have this kind of close relationship, I really feel like we should be a family, able to talk and touch and share." Ted stands up and gives Ben a big bear hug.

"This is the kind of agency I wanted." He pats Bob on the back and sighs.

"What do you think Don is doing right now?"