Something was obviously bothering the Japanese soldier as he plopped on the living room couch—and automatically rolled into his boyfriend's arms, curling up in a ball to be thoroughly snuggled. His muscles were tense, and the apprehensive look on his face did not fit with the romantic atmosphere. Sensing his unease, the boy around him tightened his hold; a wavering smile flitted across the brunet pilot's face at the tender motion. Relaxing somewhat at the feeling of long, graceful fingers sliding through his curls and massaging his scalp, he burrowed closer into the older boy's chest.
"Is there something wrong?" crooned a dark, seductive voice in his ear, and the brunet easily blushed at the sound and proximity.
Suzaku could detect the undercurrent of worry in his prince's tone, and he closed his eyes, trying to decide if he wanted to open a festering can of worms. Did he really want to disrupt their time together with a fight? But if he didn't, how much longer should he hold his tongue? If he didn't speak up now, he'd never have the nerve—and things would never change. He'd be destined to be slightly unhappy in this relationship for the rest of his life—because though he loved Lelouch (desperately, obsessively, truly, and wonderfully) he was dissatisfied with one of the particular details of their loving arrangement. He'd endure it if it meant being with Lelouch, but if they could somehow talk this out and switch things up a bit…
Lelouch hummed in his throat and murmured, "You know you can talk to me about anything."
Before he could stop himself, Suzaku blurted, "Our sex life needs to change!"
Taken aback, the prince paused. "I don't think that area is lacking, Suzaku…"
"No, I mean," the brunet squeaked, fumbling for words. "It's not that the sex isn't good, and it's not that we don't have enough of it, but…"
Cocking his head, the darker-haired boy murmured, "Then what could you possibly complain about? Don't tell me you're starting to think it's immoral because of the whole we're both guys thing, because we've been through this. Suzaku, we love each other. Nothing else matters."
Still blushing, the Japanese boy hurriedly shook his head, rubbing it against his boyfriend's chest and causing a pleasurable friction. "It's not that. I know I love you—and you love me—but the whole gender issue…well…it changes things."
"How so?" Lelouch's violet eyes burned dangerously, warning the younger against saying some childish, idiotic comment about why they shouldn't be together. Shadows played across his face.
Suzaku shrugged awkwardly. "I meant the, er, way we have sex. It's different than how straight couples do it."
Lelouch nodded against the brunet's hair. "True enough. You and I have the same anatomy, so we have to tweak the process."
"Right!" Suzaku agreed. "So…in the mechanics of how we…do things together…there's the, uh, the 'catcher and the pitcher,' so to speak, and…so far…" He trailed off, burying his face in Lelouch's chest in mortification. Why had he brought up this subject again? Even with his lover, the 'gay sex' talk was uncomfortable. Not to mention the fact that they'd been over this before—briefly. (Which meant they'd figured things out in a haze of lust, and barely remembered the conversation afterward.)
The prince dug his chin deeper into the younger's soft hair. "…You're unhappy with your role?" he guessed. Spot-on, as per usual.
Nodding shyly, Suzaku confirmed the answer. "Yeah," he mumbled, the word almost inaudible. "Can we…try it the other way around?"
Lelouch chuckled, low and deep. "Next time? If you want."
"Not just next time," Suzaku protested. Sweat slid down the back of his neck. "I meant all the times after this. I want a permanent switch. I know I'd be happier being bottom."
Lelouch raised an eyebrow. Asking for a one-time switch was one thing, but to completely reverse the workings of their sex life? Forever? Clearing his throat, the prince said dryly, "The funny thing is, I believe you're serious about this."
"I am!" the pilot said enthusiastically. "I thought it'd be obvious by now. I mean, the way I act around you…the way you act around me…we've been in the wrong positions from the start! I'm meant to be taken. By you, my control-freak prince." At his boyfriend's incredulous stare, Suzaku sputtered, "What, you think I walk around all naive and clueless because it's cute? I’m cheerful, hyper, and sweet for a reason! You're supposed to be smart, Lelouch! Take the hint already!"
The raven-haired prince only tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment of his lover's words, trying to take in this surprising information. His features paled as he imagined what such a role-change would look like—feel like…
Suzaku pulled back a bit out of the other's arms, trying to ground himself. Running his fingers through his hair in frustration, he elaborated, "You always give the orders. You always initiate our kisses. You're always the first one to move things to the next stage. You're the one who holds me when we cuddle. You’re taller, older, and smarter. Not to mention more reserved, stoic, and overall mature. You're basically the one directing this entire relationship, so why am I the one penetrating?" With a pitiful whimper, the brunet pleaded, "You're always on top of everything else, Lelouch, so why can't you just be on top of me?"
"Excuse me?" Lelouch asked, his face perfectly calm by this point. "You’re slightly more masculine than me, and you’re so strong and powerful. You’re also more experienced compared to my downright virginal history before we started fooling around. You’ve been doing a splendid job banging me senseless, and you were fine with it in the beginning. What changed, Suzaku?"
The pilot shook his head, still frustrated, and continued, "I was okay with taking over because you were tired that night—our first time…and I didn't want you to be wanting. I thought it would be a one-time deal, but it's been the same ever since. I've been waiting for you to feel better so you can just take me already, but every time it's the same excuse: 'I'm tired.' 'I don't have the stamina.'” Waving his arms around furiously to showcase his point, Suzaku argued, “Well, fuck, Lelouch—you may not have the stamina, but I sure as hell don't have the brains that are supposed to come with the position. Why do you get to use your weakness as an excuse?"
After a long moment of silence, the older boy answered, "Well, sex is a physical activity—which you excel at."
"Sex or physical activity in general?" Suzaku asked.
A smirk, accompanied by glittering violet eyes. "Both. So it makes sense…"
Nodding in satisfaction, ego apparently stroked, Suzaku leaned back into the other's embrace. "I still don't care for your reasoning, though," he complained. "I am so nice and adorable that I deserve to have my unique sexual needs satisfied by my strong-willed and devoted boyfriend. I don't know why you won't just suck up your pride and top me. I'm yours for the taking, Lelouch. I'm offering—no, begging—to bottom for you."
Lelouch sighed heavily, weighing his options. "But," he murmured, "I like submitting to you in the bedroom; it’s a nice break from having to be in charge like I am with everything else otherwise. Besides, it'll take too much work. Physically, I mean. Dominating you is beyond the scope of my abilities; it's stretching my limits too far."
"That's bullshit," Suzaku hissed, pressing closer. "You can't say that 'til you've tried! I'm not asking much, Lelouch. Just climb on top of me and have your wicked way—"
The brunet growled. "Lelouch, you're not supposed to be prudish! That should be my role!"
Purple eyes regarded the pilot warily. "Why can't you just accept your role as it is?"
Suzaku pressed closer yet, emerald eyes burning up into amethyst. "Since I was ten, I've done nothing but accept my role. I'm an Eleven in what's now considered Britannian territory. I'm the bottom rung of the social ladder. The bottom, Lelouch. Do you see where I'm going with this? I'm supposed to be screwed."
"So you should be happy for the change," the prince pointed out.
The brunet's jaw clenched. "I'm not," he forced out through gritted teeth. Forcing himself to calm down, he added, "I know you were born royalty and all that, but we're equals in this relationship, Lelouch. Your wants and needs don't override mine. And I need you inside me from now on."
Lelouch raised an eyebrow. "And if I can't handle the strain on my body?"
"I'll help you!" Suzaku said in a rush, eagerness making his eyes shine. "You're always giving me orders during sex, telling me what to do and how to do it…I can do the same. I can move back against you, too, so you don't have to do all the work. Or I can ride you sometimes. Not that often, though, because I'd feel better with your weight on top of me most of the time…" He shivered delightfully at the potential possibility.
The prince looked to the ceiling for guidance. Finding none, he turned back to his lover and felt his breath catch at Suzaku's desperate expression. "Is that…what you really want?" he asked cautiously—just to be sure.
"Yes!" Suzaku cried, almost weeping tears of joy. Lelouch was caving. "Oh, Lelouch, thank you!"
"Don't thank me yet," the raven-haired boy warned, still unsure. "I guess...as long as we're together. As long as it's us, in any way."
Ten minutes later, Suzaku moaned into a pillow and trembled deliciously under his prince's body. "Can I thank you now?" he asked, looking back over his shoulder, eyes wide and—despite thrusting his naked ass in the air—completely innocent.
Lelouch frowned. "Suzaku…I haven't even really started." The untouched, capped bottle of lubricant sat thus-far ignored on the bedside table.
"I know, but…" the brunet mumbled, trailing off. "I want to."
"Thank you," Suzaku murmured affectionately. "For taking care of me like this."
Lelouch almost rolled his eyes, but he controlled himself with an equally affectionate, "Idiot." Though topping his beloved would tax his frail body, he'd do it—for Suzaku's sake. …If he was utterly forced to.