Rodney stabs a finger in the air. "It's incontrovertible evidence and you know it."
John shakes his head. "You've got to be kidding me."
"Oh?" Rodney stands in the middle of the sparsely appointed guest room, his face as obstinate as John has ever seen. "Come on--they told us not to even bother going into Colorado Springs for a room because of this supposed convention in town." He makes air quotes around the word 'convention'.
"Two conventions and a flower show," John points out. "It's right there in the newspaper. Of course all the hotels are booked."
"And how do they know for sure? Hmmm?"
"And," John continues, ignoring Rodney, "with of the Jaffa summit taking place there's only one guest room free, hence the sharing." He gestures to the king sized bed in the center of their room. It's huge and John really wishes they could have one of those back in Atlantis. "No conspiracy, Rodney."
"Fine, yes, it's all a mere coincidence, but then how do you explain this?" Rodney holds up the two dangling wires from the disconnected security camera.
"So, they gave us the room with a broken camera. Big deal."
"No, no, face it, Stargate Command wants us to have sex. And if the SGC commands it, then--" Rodney drops the wires and pulls his shirt off over his head, emerging bright-eyed and rumpled. "We're going to have sex. Come on, come on, get those clothes off." He bends down to untie his shoelaces.
John shakes his head. "No, Rodney. No way. I am not having sex with you here."
"Colonel," Rodney says in a desperate whisper, "do you want another black mark on your record? I don't think so."
Rodney kicks his shoes off and unbuckles his belt. When he drops his pants, John screws his eyes shut and rubs his forehead. Rodney is clearly insane, which makes John insane by association.
"Rodney, three more days and we'll be back in Atlantis. And then we can..." John opens one eye and peers at the camera, making sure it is really and truly nonfunctional. "Have as much sex as you want."
In their tiny little beds.
Rodney waves him off. "It will be too late then. You know, they might demote you if you don't go through with this. It took me forever to get used to saying 'Colonel'. I don't want to have to go back 'Major'."
"Then just call me John, for god's sake." John makes the mistake of looking at Rodney, who is now wonderfully and completely naked. Hard cock, naked body, all that smooth naked skin and the fur down the middle of his chest and as always, John's cock perks up at the sight.
Rodney raises his chin. "In public? That would be highly unprofessional. Now come on, let's have sex." He bounces down on the bed and grins. "The SGC insists."
"No, they don't," John says weakly. Sex had been the last thing on his mind when the sergeant apologized as he showed them to their room with the gray cinder block walls and hard fluorescent lights. After a tense day of meetings, all John had wanted to do was crash and get some sleep. But now, despite John's best wishes, Rodney had made it to the very top of his list of things to do. "And would you please put your damn clothes back on?"
"Sorry, can't." Rodney is rummaging around in the drawers next to the bed, and then triumphantly pulls a tube. "Ah--if they weren't trying to make us have sex, why would they supply us with lube?"
Astonished, John marches up and pucks the tube from Rodney hand. Then reads the label. "It's hand lotion, Rodney."
Rodney shrugs. "It was the best they could do. Who are we to complain?" He scoots back against the pillows, pulls his legs up and spreads them. "Come on, lube me up."
"Rodney, I am not--we are not--" John blinks and finally drags his eyes away from Rodney's cock. "Doing it."
Rolling his eyes, Rodney sits up again and pulls John down on the bed. John finds himself draped over Rodney's body, Rodney's cock poking his thigh and hell, there's just so much a man can take.
John kisses him, running his hands over Rodney's chest as Rodney kisses him back with fervent, happy little noises. Rodney is so warm and real and alive and it's a relief to be able to to touch after spending the day underground in the cold, damp base with no windows.
John doesn't like Cheyenne mountain very much at all.
"Come on, let's lose this." Rodney tugs John's shirt off over his head, then captures John's mouth again with wet lips and a pushy tongue.
Laughing, John rises up on his knees to unfasten his pants. "This is crazy and you know it."
Rodney slips a hand inside John's pants. "Hey, I don't give the orders around here."
John shudders as Rodney's big warm hand wraps around his cock. "Right."
"Now, where did that lube--oh, pardon me--hand lotion go?"
While Rodney feels around on the bed the tube, John kicks his shoes off and slides out of his pants. Rodney finds the stuff and slicks up John's fingers, spreading the greasy lotion and John likes the way Rodney does it, fingers circling and sliding over his. He clasps Rodney's hand before pulling away, then drops down to kiss Rodney's stomach, rubbing his cheek against soft skin, scratching it with his stubble just to hear Rodney gasp.
"Ow--would you just--oh, yes, yes, that's good--"
John's hand is behind Rodney's balls, fingers sliding over his opening and pushing inside. Rodney cants his hips up and moans. John licks Rodney's cock and pushes in further, rubbing against the swell of Rodney's prostate and Rodney really likes that, he groans and squirms and gasps, hard cock bobbing as he moves and is very fun to watch but John knows that it's a heck of a lot more fun to join in and so when Rodney feels ready he slicks up his cock and pushes into the tight, hot space.
Rodney locks his legs around John's waist and throws his arms back with an expression of pure bliss. "Yes," he croons.
"Rodney," John laughs, shaking his head. He loves the way Rodney wallows in it, in being fucked, as if John's cock is the best thing he's ever felt. Then Rodney grinds his hips, pressing down onto John's cock, twisting and squeezing and it takes John's breath away. He grabs onto Rodney's hips and drives into him, fucking hard and steady, watching the flush spread across Rodney's chest as Rodney moans again, hands scrabbling on the sheets, seeking leverage where there is none. John holds him firmly in place and thrusts again and again. It's way too good to last, it always is, and when John moans out loud Rodney reaches for his cock and starts to jerk himself off.
This is maybe the best part, Rodney's big hand working his cock, the intent look on Rodney's face, the way John can see the pleasure build, the tension rising in Rodney's body and by the time Rodney jerks and comes, spilling out all over his belly John is hanging on by the skin of his teeth.
When Rodney is done John lets himself go, losing himself in pleasure of Rodney's body. He pushes deep inside when he comes, gasping for breath, startled by the intensity of it. He hangs onto to Rodney through the aftershocks, clutching Rodney's thighs, and when he's done, he presses a kiss to Rodney's knee limp and completely wrung out.
"Whoa," Rodney says.
John's dazed and kind of happy and Rodney looks very pretty beneath him, pink-cheeked and waving his hands, motioning for John to lay down with him. He pulls out, wincing a little at the sensation on his hypersensitive cock, then slides down into Rodney's waiting arms and kisses him.
"Well, I hope they're satisfied." John rubs his mouth over Rodney's cheek. "I did the best I could."
"Are you kidding?" Rodney sighs with contentment and rubs John's back. "I'm putting you in for a commendation."
John starts to laugh, sliding down until his face pressed against Rodney's neck. "You do that, Rodney."
Rodney strokes John's hair. A moment later he quietly asks, "Feeling better?"
"Yeah." John reaches up to kiss Rodney's chin.
"We'll be back home soon." Rodney pulls the covers up over them, then stretches to turn off the light. When he lies down he pulls John back into his arms.
"Not soon enough," John whispers. The room is pitch black, and while there's no sound of the ocean, Rodney's breathing is steady and soothing and eventually John drops off to sleep, Rodney's arms wrapped tightly around him.