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Worried About You

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Off-duty CHP Officers Jon Baker and Frank Poncherello sat at a table together in Taco Bell eating their lunch. Ponch, the younger of the two was eating a soft shell taco, while Jon ate a Nacho Cheese Dorito taco. Jon was completely silent was he was eating. Ponch on the other hand, he really wanted to start a conversation. This was after all his third date with the older man. They didn’t go out much. They spent more time at home than they did out in public.

 

Ponch kept wanting to talk, but he’d start, then get lost in Jon’s blue eyes. Finally Ponch couldn’t take it anymore. “Jon?”

 

“Huh?” Jon asked trying to stay focused. The past few times Ponch had tried to talk Jon had gotten lost in the young Puerto Rican’s big brown eyes.

 

“Can we talk?”

 

“Sure…what’s on your mind?” Jon asked.

 

Ponch squirmed a bit feeling Jon’s eyes on him. Jon reached under the table and put a hand on Ponch’s thigh. Suddenly Ponch was completely still, and his eyes were a little wide. Jon smiled slightly. “Relax, Ponch…I was just trying to calm you down,” he said moving his hand.

 

As soon as Jon’s hand was starting to move Ponch grabbed it, this time Jon’s eyes got wide. Ponch smiled slightly. “Sorry…I uh…” Ponch looked down at the table.

 

Jon smiled. “Don’t feel bad, Ponch…” Jon started.

 

Ponch felt a shiver go down his spine. This was all pretty new to him still. But he was more than happy to be with Jon. Ponch had fallen in love with men before, but never had he ever dated one. He tried to convince himself never to do it, because he was afraid of what his friends would say. But once Jon had admitted he was in love there was no way Ponch was gonna let that slip by and then possibly lose Jon forever. Though a lot of the people at the station didn’t seem to approve at first, it was starting to grow on them.

 

Jon wished that they could leave now and go home. There was something he wanted to do, but in public. And there was a guy sitting a few tables down that he could’ve sworn was staring at Ponch. Ponch hadn’t noticed as much as Jon, but sometimes Jon was silent just glaring at that guy. He did not like the way he was looking at Ponch. Looking at him as if he wanted something. Jon noticed that Ponch’s food was all gone so he offered to throw the empty wrapper away. Ponch of course didn’t protest to someone wanting to clean up after him. And with Jon taking care of that Ponch walked off to the bathroom.

 

As soon as Ponch got up and headed that way Jon noticed that guy get up and head that way too. “Oh hell no he better not be going in there for Ponch,” Jon said to himself angrily as he threw away the wrappers and put the tray on top of the trash with the other trays. He quickly went into the bathroom, and was thankful to find Ponch almost finished he was just at the sink washing his hands.

 

“Oh, hi Jon…you didn’t need to come in and check on me,” Ponch said drying his hands.

 

“Sorry…I was a little worried.” Jon grabbed Ponch’s hand, right in front of that man just in an attempt to show that guy, that Ponch was his and he couldn’t take him. Then he led Ponch out the door almost dragging him.

 

“Jon, what’s up? I can walk myself ya know?”

 

“Just a second, Ponch,” Jon said it was evident in his voice he was upset about something, and he was focused. He was on a mission. Soon they were outside and at Jon’s truck. He took Ponch to the passenger’s side and opened the door.

 

“Hey, what was all that about, Jon?” Ponch asked before getting in, a little concerned.

 

Jon looked deep into Ponch’s troubled brown eyes. He wasn’t sure how to explain it. But something about the way that guy was looking, and how he had followed Ponch was an immediate red flag to Jon. And there was no way something was happening to Ponch. Jon wouldn’t allow that. He took Ponch’s hand in his, and rubbed the top of it sweetly with his thumb. “Don’t worry about it, babe.”

 

“Jon, you acted like someone did something really bad in there. You suddenly became very protective and we HAD to get out. What the hell is going on? You can’t just say nothing is wrong and expect me to believe it.”

 

Jon looked at him surprised at first, not expecting that. “Sorry…I just didn’t want you to worry or freak out…or go back in and give that guy a piece of your mind…I mean you’ve got a reputation for all of that,” Jon replied biting back a smile.

 

Ponch crossed his arms over his chest and huffed slightly making a face at Jon. Jon ran his fingers through his blonde hair then put his hands on his hips and looked at Ponch. “I didn’t like the way that guy in there was looking at you. I was gonna let it go when we left…but as soon as you got up and went to the men’s room he followed you…I’m not sure what he was up to, but from the looks of it and how it all was going on I wasn’t gonna let you be in there alone and possibly end up in a bad situation…I was worried about you.”

 

“Aww, well you could’ve said something when we got out here…” Ponch replied softening up a bit.

 

Jon cupped Ponch’s face in his hands. “I didn’t want anything to happen to you. I’m sorry, I panicked.”

 

Now Ponch was smiling. “You’re the best,” he said then gave him a hug.

 

“So no hard feelings?”

 

“Of course not,” Ponch replied then kissed Jon on the cheek.

 

Jon blushed, then he and Ponch pulled away, and Ponch got in the truck.

 

CHPCHPCHP

 

Around seven at night Ponch was home and getting ready for Jon to come over…when he realized he didn’t have his cell phone. He left it in the car when he and Jon went out again later. Jon was at work right now picking up his pay check. Ponch was about to go out to the car to get his phone when he realized he should probably put a shirt on. He was ready for bed, just in short shorts and no shirt. He slipped on a shirt then ran out the door to get his phone.

 

As he was on his way out he ran into a guy that had just moved in. “Hey, Ponch wanna try this?” the guy asked holding up a bottle.

 

“What is that?” Ponch asked curious.

 

“I uh…well I made lemonade. But I’m not sure how good it is.”

 

“Okay,” Ponch was unsure about this, but took the bottle and sipped it. “Mmm that’s actually really good, Steven.”

 

“Thanks!”

 

Ponch nodded and continued to drink it. “Sorry…that tastes really good…I need to get going though,” Ponch said then handed the bottle back.

 

Ponch walked off quickly, and Steven sent a text to his friend that was waiting outside telling him that Ponch had drank the drink.

 

Ponch was searching his car for a while not able to find his phone. “Where the heck did I leave it?” he wondered aloud. He was starting to feel a little sick as he continued searching.

 

By the time Ponch had finally found his phone he did not feel so great. He could barely even walk a straight line. He wondered what it was he actually did drink that Steven had given him, and soon he saw someone coming over. The guy helped Ponch who had almost fallen over.

 

“Hey, are you alright? It’s a little late for you to be out if you’re not feeling so well,” the man said.

 

“Bu..Ifeel jusfine,” Ponch slurred. The man opened up the car door and helped Ponch inside.

 

“Nah, you don’t need to lie to yourself,” he said.

 

Ponch squirmed knowing something was wrong about this. But pretty soon he really didn’t know what was wrong or right. He couldn’t think straight at all let alone speak without slurring. It was a weird feeling for Ponch, and next thing he knew he was all alone in his car locked inside with a random stranger.

 

CHPCHPCHP

 

Ponch woke up a few hours later alone, and still in his car. He was more aware of everything around him, and the thing that was confusing was the fact he was all alone in his car, locked inside and wrapped in a blanket. He looked around and saw his phone and his clothes. His eyes got wide. He didn’t remember anything that happened. The last thing he remembered was coming out for his phone, and seeing someone. He didn’t know who, that whole thing was a blur to him. He got out of the car still wrapped in the blanket that wasn’t even his. He didn’t know where it had come from. He grabbed his stuff and carried it inside with him. He was able to walk a straight line now, but he was super tired. He felt like he was dragging his feet. He got inside his place and locked the door. He checked his phone and saw that Jon had called a few times. He ignored it first then went to the bedroom, grabbed a different pair of clothes and went to take a shower. By the time he had made it to the shower it finally had hit him what happened. And suddenly he felt weak and he fell over leaning against the wall. Feeling sick to his stomach of just the thought. He took a shower then went to his bedroom. He was in his pajamas, and wrapped in a blanket. He sat there on the bed thinking.

 

“What did Steven give me?” he wondered. He grabbed his phone and listened to the messages that Jon had left. Basically Jon was saying that he got really busy with other things and lost track of time. He wasn’t coming. Ponch threw his phone across the room. This was not how he was hoping the night would go! But then again who would hope for someone to give you a lemonade that was drugged, then get raped in the back of your car without you even realizing what was really going on until later…then have your boyfriend decide he wants to stay home tonight instead of coming to see you.

 

That’s not exactly a night you’d plan out. By the time everything had fully sunk in Ponch was starting to cry, and his body was trembling. He couldn’t even control it anymore. Ponch hated himself for this, but he was pretty certain he was just going to cry himself to sleep tonight.

 

Before any of that could even happen though he heard a knock at the door, he looked at the time it was almost midnight. He rolled his eyes and decided to pretend he wasn’t home. The person at the door just kept knocking until finally Ponch was too annoyed to pretend anymore. He got out of bed and dragged his feet all the way to the door. He was feeling pretty miserable. He opened it slightly and saw Jon standing there.

 

“Thought you said you weren’t coming?” Ponch asked wiping away a tear.

 

“Is that why you’re crying?” Jon asked immediately noticing the tear stained eyes.

 

Ponch shook his head then he nodded it, slightly confused. “Yes and no,” Ponch replied.

 

Jon came in and closed the door behind him. He dropped his bag on the floor. “I’m staying over…I uh forgot my key though. I was originally just gonna come in and surprise you.”

 

“Okay…I’ll sleep on the couch,” Ponch said going to grab his blanket and pillow.

 

“Babe, why aren’t you sleeping with me? Did I do something wrong?” Jon asked suddenly very concerned and worried about this.

 

“Nah, you didn’t do anything…I just…I can’t sleep with someone tonight. I’m not in the mood.”

 

Jon raised an eye brow.

 

“I’m a mess, Jon. You really want me crying on you all night?”

 

“Hey, wanna talk about what’s going on? Maybe you’ll feel better,” Jon suggested putting an arm around Ponch.

 

Ponch moved Jon’s arm. “Nah, I’ll talk about it later. Jon I really wanna go to sleep.”

 

Jon looked at him puzzled. “Ponch, are you mad at me?”

 

Ponch shook his head. He felt bad for not telling Jon anything, and suddenly he was crying again thinking about it. He fell into Jon’s arms. Jon just hugged him and tried to comfort him unsure of what had just happened.

 

CHPCHPCHP

 

The next few days Ponch wouldn’t talk about that night. He tried to act like it never happened, but the thing he didn’t know was that what had happened that night wasn’t going to stay secret very long.

Chapter Text

A few weeks had passed, Ponch hadn’t been feeling well at all lately. He’d called in sick a few times, told Jon he couldn’t go out, and pretty much canceled on everything, because he felt awful! Every morning lately had the same routine, get up and throw up for a while, then he’d wash his face, and think everything was fine. Then a little while later he’d be right back at it. Lately it had gotten to be a little annoying to Ponch. He didn’t want to be sick.

He then started to have troubles fitting in his jeans. They were getting a bit snug. That was driving him crazy! Jon hadn’t come over in a while, of which was strange. Ponch thought he might’ve upset Jon. So he called and left about a million messages on the answering machine apologizing and begging to see him. But today, he was hoping Jon wasn’t gonna come anywhere near him. He was a mess. It had started out with just him throwing up a lot again. Then he decided to try to fight the urge to just call in sick and lounge around at home, and actually try to go to work. Well when he try to get into his uniform that was a bit of a struggle. Finally he had given up. He put on a pair of short shorts, and a t-shirt, grabbed his phone then got back in bed. He called Getraer.

“Sarge, I don’t get it. I thought I was fine…I feel awful in the morning and gradually throughout the day it just goes away then comes right back again in the morning. I hate it!”

Getraer was quiet for only a few seconds. “Have you went to the doctor yet, Frank?”

“No…I thought I was gonna be okay…”

“Well if it isn’t getting any better, you should probably go.”

Ponch let out a long sigh. “Do they let you go in your pajamas if your pajamas is just short shorts and a t-shirt?”

Getraer tried not to laugh. “Well yes they do…why?”

“Because…I think laying around at home isn’t doing much good…I can’t fit in my jeans very well,” Ponch complained.

“Oh, same goes for your uniform I’m guessing?”

“Well yeah…sorry, Sarge. I didn’t realize I was gaining any weight till just a few days ago…I don’t even know how it happened.”

“Well, take it easy. Go see the doctor, and then call me if you need anything.”

“Okay,” Ponch replied then hung up. He got off the bed and called the doctor’s office while searching for his shoes.  

CHPCHPCHP

Ponch couldn’t get his car to start, so he ended up having to use the city bus to get to the doctor’s office. He felt really weird. This day was just getting worse and worse for him. He kept checking his phone to see if Jon had said anything, and still hadn’t heard anything. It was driving him crazy! The whole time he was sitting in the waiting room he was sending messages to Jon. Already knowing he was at work, but he was still freaking out that Jon wouldn’t reply. Soon he heard his name called, and he almost dropped his phone. Slowly he got up and went back. They stopped to weigh him, and Ponch was too afraid to look at the scale. He got on anyway, but he was a little upset about this whole thing.

When he was seated in a room and waiting for the doctor once again he was looking at his phone. He was so focused on that he didn’t notice when Dr. Peterson walked in. The older male doctor smiled when he saw Ponch staring at the screen.

“What, Jon not replying?” he asked. He knew Ponch and Jon very well. He was surprised Jon wasn’t there.

Ponch looked up at him. “Yeah…um he hasn’t talked to me for a few days,” Ponch replied sadly.

“Is that upsetting you?” the doctor asked.

Ponch nodded his head and sighed. “It’s depressing…and somewhat stressful…I can’t believe how much time I really spent with him until one day I don’t see him…”

“I’m sure it will all turn out okay. Is that something you wanted to talk about while you were here?”

Ponch shook his head. “Nah, I don’t wanna bore you to death with all my life struggles. But…I did wanna come because I’ve felt miserable lately. And it’s not Jon’s fault this time…I’ve been throwing up a lot every morning, and just tired a lot too. I had to stay home from work a few times…I’m so upset with myself for it though. Because laying around the apartment hasn’t done any good to me…and I gained some weight,” Ponch explained.

Dr. Peterson nodded his head, and began to start examining Ponch. A little while later he informed Ponch that they were gonna do a few blood tests. Ponch didn’t seem to mind much. After taking the blood tests Dr. Peterson said they’d get the results soon, so he had Ponch wait in the room for a bit. While Ponch was waiting his phone rang. He looked and saw it was Jon. Ponch felt his heart racing as he answered the phone.

“H-Hello?” Ponch answered.

“Hey, baby. I’m really sorry…I was being kinda b***y I didn’t mean to upset you…or worry you. I thought you’d be at work today…but Getraer told me you were at the doctor. Are you still sick? How long has this been going on? Are you okay? What’d they find out?”

“Jon, I still don’t even know the answers to half those questions…I don’t remember how long this has been going on…like two weeks maybe?”

“What’s going on?”

“Throwing up a lot mostly…been really tired and emotional too…and uh staying home is awful. Jon..I can’t fit in my clothes very well anymore. They’re kinda snug…I think I’m getting fat.”

Jon tried not to laugh. “Nah, that could never happen to you.”

Ponch rolled his eyes wishing Jon was right. The conversation was paused for a moment as both of them were dead silent. Jon decided to break the silence.

“Hey, I stopped by your place to see you and noticed your car was still there. So I hoped you were home…but you’re not…how’d you get to the doctor?”

“Um…well my car wouldn’t start, I took the bus.”

“Aww, baby I’ll be there in a few minutes. I’ll pick you up, and I’ll get your car fixed tonight. Is that alright with you?”

Ponch had a huge smile on his face. “Yeah, sure.”

Jon continued talking to Ponch, and then Ponch noticed the doctor come in. “Oh, hey Jon I gotta go,” Ponch said.

“Aww, okay. I’ll see you in a few minutes, Ponch.”

“Bye, love you,” Ponch said

“Love you too,” Jon replied then they both hung up.

Dr. Peterson smiled. “I see you and Jon are talking again. Is he picking you up?”

“Uh-huh…so what’s wrong with me?” Ponch asked.

“Well, I’ve got one last thing to do to see if test results were right.”

“Is it anything bad?” Ponch asked.

Dr. Peterson laughed slightly. “Oh of course not.”

CHPCHPCHP

Jon stopped by the apartment again and went to Ponch’s car. He had a key to the car so he could start it. He tried to start it, and it wouldn’t start. He worked on it a bit, and within a few minutes had it started. He decided he’d pick Ponch up in that, instead of making him ride on the back of a motorcycle. Because if Ponch wasn’t feeling well riding on a motorcycle wouldn’t be a good choice. He might get sick and throw up on Jon.

Jon drove to the office, and went inside to wait for Ponch.

CHPCHPCHP

Ponch looked really puzzled as Dr. Peterson explained something to him. “It’s not normal, but it can happen. It is very rare. Only very few men can…some people are born differently…”

“But why didn’t my parents tell me?” Ponch asked with tears in his eyes.

“I’m sure there’s a good reason for it.”

“Jon’s gonna think I’m a freak. And I’m positive this isn’t even his baby,” Ponch said.

Dr. Peterson looked a bit confused. “You sure?”

“I’m pretty sure. Me and Jon never wanted to have kids…I mean…we aren’t ready…and…”

“That doesn’t mean that he can’t get you pregnant. Just because you don’t want to have kids doesn’t mean you won’t. Sometimes it happens if you’re not careful…”

“But…” Ponch bit his lip. Suddenly the memory of that night out by his car came to mind. The image of the guy from Taco Bell came along with it. And almost as if being punched in the face it hit so hard Ponch realized that night he was raped by the guy from Taco Bell. The guy Jon tried to protect him from…Ponch was pregnant with that creeps baby. Embarrassed and angry tears formed in his eyes. He couldn’t remember everything about the guy it had been a little dark, but he knew Jon knew exactly what he looked like…but how was Ponch going to tell all this to Jon?

“Well, I guess I don’t wanna keep Jon waiting,” Ponch said getting up.

“Hey, Ponch listen no motorcycles, that’s too dangerous. And uh be prepared for all the normal things that come along with a pregnancy,” Dr. Peterson said.

Ponch nodded. “Thanks.”

Chapter Text

 Jon and Ponch sat at Taco Bell. Ponch had insisted he wasn’t hungry, but he already told Jon he wanted a taco before he said that. So Jon said he’d take him there. Jon said it would make up for the past few dates that Ponch had canceled. When Jon heard Ponch wasn’t contagious or anything he figured it would be okay to get something to eat before he took him home.

Ponch had almost burst out laughing when Jon asked if he was contagious, even though he was really upset about this whole thing the thought of a pregnancy being contagious was hilarious to him. What if it passed to Jon? He just had to laugh about it in his head because he didn’t want to make Jon uncomfortable, and he still hadn’t even told Jon the news. He was too upset and humiliated to tell Jon, but he knew he’d have to do it sometime soon. Before it was too late and Jon found out on his own.

Ponch and Jon were seated at the table that they normally sat at, the place was pretty quiet. “So, what did the doctor say?” Jon asked after swallowing the bite of his taco.

“Um…I’ll have to tell you in the car,” Ponch replied looking down at the table.

Jon raised an eyebrow. “Okay…?” he replied quizzically.

“It’s a little…well something I don’t know how to say out loud in public.”

Jon nodded. “Alrighty…well I’m done eating, you ready to go?” he asked.

Ponch nodded then got up to throw away his empty wrapper. Soon he and Jon were outside and in Ponch’s car. Surprisingly Ponch let Jon drive it, Ponch didn’t feel up to driving right now. He felt miserable! As soon as Jon was on the road and on his way to Ponch’s apartment he asked that question again, “What did the doctor say?”

“Well…I’m…pregnant,” Ponch replied.

Jon slammed on the breaks, because they were at a red light. He began to laugh. “You’re kidding, right?”

Ponch stared at him hurt, as tears filled his eyes Jon realized Ponch was serious.

“But…how? I mean I know it’s possible for some guys…and I’m thrilled that you are one of them…but um Ponch why would it happen right now? I mean we haven’t done anything…like…I mean…” Jon began to lose his words feeling awkward about this.

“I know, Jon. We didn’t make this baby together. There’s no way it’s yours…” Ponch replied.

Jon looked at him. “Then…who’s is it?” Jon asked curious.

“Jon…I’m really sorry. I should’ve told you sooner, but I was embarrassed, and angry, and thought that nothing would happen. I thought that night could just disappear…I didn’t realize…”

“Hey, that night that I came over and you wouldn’t sleep with me…you said you’d tell me all about it later. I think now is a good time,” Jon said pulling off the road and into an empty parking lot so that he could face Ponch and not pay attention to traffic.

“Don’t you have work?”

“I’ll explain everything to Getraer later. You need to talk to me now. If we’re gonna get anywhere in this relationship we need to be able to talk to each other. What happened that night, Ponch?” Jon asked, turning and facing him.

Ponch took a deep breath then turned and faced Jon more. Jon grabbed Ponch’s hand. “I was on my way out to my car…this guy Steven offered me a drink…I tried his lemonade it was really good…well he must’ve drugged it or something. By the time I finally found my phone of which is why I went out in the first place I couldn’t even walk a straight line…I don’t remember much after that…except there was this guy…and he brought me in the back of my car…the next thing I remember is waking up all alone in there wrapped in a blanket, and my clothes were on the floor…I didn’t feel so great…I went back inside and took a shower, and I was hoping that nothing else would happen. Because by the time I finally got to my shower it finally hit me what had happened out there…I’m pretty sure that whoever that guy was he was working with Steven. He got Steven to give me the lemonade…but why that guy wanted to rape me is a whole other story! Who wants to do that? I mean I know guys do that to women and it’s just sick! But I’m not…Jon…why…I’m a guy…I shouldn’t have had that happen…I shouldn’t be like this right now…” Ponch was in tears now.

Jon scooted closer and hugged Ponch. “Hey, calm down. I’ll find the guy that did this. He’s not gonna get away with it. Do you remember anything about him?” Jon asked.

“I’m pretty sure that he looked like that same guy from Taco Bell that day…” Ponch replied wiping away some tears.

Jon nodded. “He’s really gonna regret this.”

Chapter Text

Ponch laid in bed not wanting to move. Jon was in the kitchen, he knew that because he could smell food cooking, and Jon had stayed over that night. Ponch was dreading this day, he promised Getraer he’d tell him what the doctor said. Ponch however didn’t feel like getting out of bed to do it. Soon he smelled the food coming closer.

“How’s breakfast in bed sound to you?” Jon asked with a wide grin, holding a plate of waffles, eggs, and sausage.

Ponch rubbed his eyes, stretched then sat up. “Awe, Jon you’re too good to me…” he said with a weak smile. Jon came and sat beside Ponch and handed him the plate of food.

“You are hungry, right?” he asked.

“Of course I am,” Ponch replied somewhat quietly. He yawned.

Jon put a hand on Ponch’s stomach. “How’s that baby?” he asked.

“Just fine…I’m surprised I didn’t wake up and go throw up already…it’s weird,” Ponch said. But he spoke too soon. A few minutes later he was in the bathroom throwing up like normal.

Jon stayed in the bedroom figuring Ponch didn’t want him to follow. Of which was good thinking on his part, because when Ponch was throwing up the last thing he wanted was Jon to be right there watching…at least right now that is.

CHPCHPCHP

Jon and Ponch went into work together. Ponch was getting really nervous about going to go talk to Getraer, but then remembered Jon had promised to come along. Jon said that there was no need in forcing Ponch to go in all alone.

When Ponch entered Getraer was surprised and pleased to see him, and he was in uniform. Getraer could tell it was a little snug but said nothing as he already knew Ponch knew that. Jon closed the door, then he and Ponch came to the desk.

“So nice to see you, Frank…with how many times you’ve called in sick I thought you weren’t coming back,” Getraer said.

Ponch smiled slightly then looked at Jon.

Getraer looked at the two of them. “Look, whatever it is that is wrong, I’m sure it won’t be nearly as hard to tell me as it was for you to finally say that the two of you were dating,” Getraer said.

Ponch stared down at the desk. “I don’t know Sarge…this might be harder,” he replied.

Getraer raised an eyebrow but said nothing, he knew Ponch would talk when he was ready. Jon wasn’t there to talk for Ponch. He was there for support. Ponch already made it clear to Jon he wanted to do most the talking. He didn’t want to make Jon feel like he was depending on him all the time. Ponch finally cleared his throat and looked back up at the sergeant.

“A few weeks ago…I was given this drink of lemonade…from someone I thought was a friend…well…anyway I don’t remember most of the events that night, it was all a blur. I didn’t feel so good…” Ponch started.

“I’m pretty sure the drink was drugged,” Jon cut in.

Ponch looked at Jon with a slight smile.

Getraer nodded. “Go on,” he said.

“Well…there was this guy earlier that day…he was eyeing me at Taco Bell, and making Jon uncomfortable…I’m pretty sure I saw that guy was there that night also…he was acting all nice when he brought me into the back of my car and closed the door…but I was so confused at the time that I didn’t understand what was going on until later after all of that happened…” Ponch explained.

Getraer nodded his head following along. “So are you trying to say, someone slipped a drug in your drink, then someone else took you in the back of your car? What happened?”

Ponch bit his lip. “I…well…he raped me,” Ponch replied.

Getraer’s jaw dropped slightly, but then went back up as he was trying to remain calm and professional. “Then what?” Getraer asked.

“I don’t remember much about that night…I mean, I remember up until seeing that guy, then everything goes all foggy in my memory…then the next thing I remember was in my apartment getting ready to take a shower when it finally had sunk in what happened and I realized I’d been raped. Then Jon came over shortly after that…but I was a mess…” Ponch said.

Jon nodded. “You got that right…it scared me at first,” Jon added.

Getraer looked at Jon with a look that pretty much said. “Be quiet unless we need you to speak.” He wanted to hear all of this from Ponch.

“Why didn’t you tell Jon?”

“Sarge, if that happened to you, would you tell Jon!? Would you tell anyone!? It’s humiliating to an officer to have to go through something like that Sarge! And what he did to me…I’ve been so sick lately because of him!”

“Sick because of him, how?” Getraer asked.

“Sarge…he…got me pregnant,” Ponch replied he was starting to shake a bit. Jon put his arms around Ponch trying to calm him down, as he saw tears starting to slide down his face.

“HE WHAT!? And you still didn’t tell anyone till now?” Getraer asked concerned a bit angry. He was ticked off at the guy, and a little upset Ponch didn’t say anything.

“Sarge…I’m sorry…I was scared…I didn’t want everyone to think I’m some sort of freak…I’m embarrassed. I should’ve ignored Steven when he offered the drink, that isn’t normal…I just wasn’t think to begin with.” Ponch was crying on Jon.

Getraer wished he could’ve done something, he knew how Betty was when she was pregnant, with all the hormones and everything…so he understood what Ponch was going through. Because normally he wouldn’t have cried in front of his sergeant like that.

“Hey, Frank it’ll be okay. Calm down,” Getraer said standing up. He looked at Jon. “I want that guy,” he said.

Jon nodded. “Me too.”

CHPCHPCHP

A few weeks later, Ponch really didn’t feel like talking to anyone at work. He was stuck at the desk. A few officers that were his friends kept trying to talk to him, but he’d avoid them. Grossie especially. News travelled fast, and if Grossie knew the news he didn’t want to hear what Grossie had to say about it. Ponch sat at the desk doing nothing almost every day. The weirdest thing was nothing seemed to be going on…

And everything stayed quiet, until a few months later.

Jon walked in and was saying hi to Ponch. He was upset that he still hadn’t found that guy yet. He had completely disappeared after that night, of which was not a good sign. Ponch was just as upset about it as Jon was, because he wanted that guy caught. Jon had found out a bit of information about the man. His name was Gary Matthews, and he was from New York. He grew up on the streets, and had been abused many times by many different people. Mostly family members…Jon also found out that he had been charged with sexual assault a few times here in L.A. but ended up somehow getting away at some point. So he was really a wanted criminal. He played dirty, as some would say.

Jon had just come in for his lunch break, he was red faced from the heat, and he was sweating. It was nice and cool inside of which made him smile, because he was getting worried about Ponch getting too hot. Ponch was four months pregnant now. Jon smiled as he walked through the door, trying to hide something behind his back.

Ponch looked a little curious, but didn’t say anything, soon Jon was right in front of his boyfriend. “Hey, I got something,” he said pulling out a giant stuffed panda bear.

Ponch’s eyes got wide. “Jon, it’s so cute!”

“It’s not for you…it’s for Daisy.”

“Daisy?” Ponch asked.

“Well…it’s a girl, right?”

Ponch nodded.

“You haven’t told me the name…so I’m gonna keep guessing…do you think Libby will like it?” Jon asked.

“Um…” Ponch started he was gonna interrupt and tell Jon that he didn’t actually have a name for his daughter yet, but Jon just kept going.

Jon kept talking, then handed Ponch the panda. So far he’d used the  names, Daisy, Libby, Mackenzie, Ashley, Glenda, Melinda, Beth, and Shelby. At some point Ponch felt more like Jon was trying to name the baby, than he was trying to actually talk to Ponch. Ponch just stared at him looking slightly annoyed, but then finally it hit him. He knew exactly what he wanted to name his little girl.

“Jon…” Ponch started

“Yeah, babe?” Jon asked still listing off names.

“Her name is Brittley,” he said.

Jon smiled. “I like that, Ponch.” Jon gave him a hug then played with the panda a bit. “Enjoy the panda I need to get back to work,” he added. Just as he was getting ready to walk off someone walked in the door.

Jon decided he might as well help Ponch out a bit in case he needed any help. He was alone at the desk today. The girl was crying and hugging herself when she came in.

She slowly made her way to the desk, and nearly fell over, feeling weak. Ponch instantly felt a little concerned about her. He and Jon both came to her side. They helped her to a chair, and Ponch brought over a box of tissues. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“I…I don’t know…” she replied in between sobs. Ponch and Jon were on their knees in front of her. “I…I thought I was going to be fine today…it was supposed to be a good day…I got engaged,” she started. Then began to dab her eyes with the tissue.

Ponch smiled. “Yeah, that does sound nice,” he said making slight eye contact towards Jon as if hinting something, and Jon looked down at the floor. “You wanna tell us what else happened?”

The lady looked at Ponch unsure.

“Look, I know it’s hard to talk to someone when something bad happens. Trust me…but we’re here to help…and to be honest, I had something bad happen a few months ago, and I was scared to even talk to the sergeant. I know it can be hard…but I can speak from experience it does feel a lot better once you’ve got it all out,” Ponch assured her.

She nodded wondering what it was that could’ve happened to him. “Well…someone…he lead me the wrong direction…I’m not exactly the best with directions here in L.A. I’ve only been here a few months…and um…he said he’d help me…he took me down a dark alley…I knew we were going the wrong way, so I tried to leave…but before I could get away it was too late…he wouldn’t let me leave!” She began to cry harder.

Ponch looked at Jon, sudden memories flooding his mind. “Um…miss…what did that guy do to you in that alley? Did he hurt you?” Jon asked.

“He…he raped me,” she replied.

“What!? No!” Ponch looked really upset. He got up. “People are just sick these days…”

The lady was caught off guard at first. She never thought an officer would care that much…but then she noticed something different about this Officer Poncherello.

“Ponch, calm down…” Jon said quickly standing up. He put a hand on his shoulder. “Keep your emotions under control. I know it’s hard, but please try.”

The lady stood up. Her tears starting to stop. “Officer P-Poncherello…you’re really nice…I…I’m sorry for asking…but what was it that you had to talk to your sergeant about that was hard?” she asked curiously.

Ponch bit his lip and looked at her. “Same thing you had to tell us,” he replied quietly.

Jon looked at the two of them. Not sure what to say. He knew for sure he was supposed to help that lady, but on the other hand, Ponch needed some help too.

The lady looked at Ponch for a bit. “I’m really sorry…when you had the reaction you did to what I said I figured that must’ve been what it was…but at the same time I was confused.”

“I was too…it’s not normal,” Ponch replied then looked away. “I’m sorry…I’m not being very professional right now…anyway, do you happen to remember what the guy looked like?” Ponch asked.

The lady nodded and began to describe the man to them. As she continued with her descriptions Ponch was getting even more upset he sounded a lot like the guy from Taco Bell…but why was he still doing this? What was wrong with him? What in his sick mind gave him the idea to rape people all the time? He probably had a lot of kids…a lot of kids he’d never meet. After getting the description from her Jon closed his notebook. He told her that they’d get a hold of her later if they needed any more information, then Ponch informed Jon that, that was the same guy that had gotten him pregnant. So now Jon REALLY wanted that guy!

The lady had introduced herself as Jeanie, and said if they needed anything to just call. She also said she’d keep in touch. She liked these two…

Chapter Text

Ponch laid in bed not feeling like getting up. He was too tired. Jon was beside him, he gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ponch replied. “Just a little tired…I don’t feel like going to work…”

“Well…” Jon started then made a face at Ponch. “What the heck let’s call in sick,” he said.

“Isn’t that kinda a lie?”

“Do you feel up to going to work at all?” Jon asked.

“I don’t feel like moving,” Ponch admitted.

“Then you’re sick,” Jon said.

“Jon…”

“I know you’re not really sick, I’ll explain it all to Getraer,” Jon said then got out of bed.

Ponch stared at Jon.

“Baker?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry,” Ponch said staring at his swollen tummy.

Jon looked at Ponch confused. “Why?”

“If I would’ve brought my phone inside instead of accidentally leaving it in the car that one night none of this would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have had to go out to my car…” Ponch said. He looked at Jon. “We wouldn’t be stuck at home today…”

Jon had a soft expression in his blue eyes. He came over and sat by Ponch he grabbed Ponch’s hand. “Hey, babe listen…don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s not your fault…I should’ve been over much sooner and I could’ve gotten your phone for you,” Jon said.

“Jon it’s not your fault,” Ponch argued.

There was a long moment of silence between the couple. Jon just stared deep into Ponch’s dark bottomless brown eyes. “Don’t worry, Ponch it’s not your fault…” Jon finally said.

“It’s not yours either,” Ponch reminded.

Jon nodded, he gave Ponch a kiss on the cheek. “I’m gonna go call Getraer,” Jon said.

CHPCHPCHP

Jon was on the phone with Getraer for a few hours actually. Ponch slept most that time, that was Jon stayed on the phone so long. He figured it would be okay. Ponch needed some rest, he’d been pretty uptight and upset lately.

By the time Ponch had finally woke up Jon was off the phone and making lunch. Ponch was starting to get out of bed.

Jon rushed into the room. “Hey, what are you doing?” he asked.

“Getting out of bed,” Ponch replied innocently.

“Get back in bed, baby…I mean I thought you were tired.”

“I slept two hours, Jon.”

Jon nodded. Then he and Ponch went to the living room and sat on the couch. Jon sat down, and Ponch sat next to him, and they cuddled close. Ponch was feeling pretty happy with Jon he grabbed a blanket and then cuddled closer with Jon, and the blanket.

Jon smiled and gave Ponch a kiss on the top of the head. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too, Jon,” Ponch replied.

CHPCHPCHP

The whole day they spent most of it cuddled on the couch, and most of it off and on was spent with Ponch falling asleep. The next day Jon and Ponch were back at work, Ponch was at the front desk, and once again was being bothered by the other officers.

Jon was sitting next to Ponch for the first few minutes working on a report, while he listened to Ponch talk to Grossie for the first time in eight months.

Grossie stared at Ponch in disbelief. “You’ve avoided us for almost eight months just because…Ponch…I’m…well…” Grossie was stumbling on his words.

Ponch just stared at him.

Finally Grossie gathered himself together. “Ponch, look I’m sorry about what happened, but I wish you would’ve talked to us sooner. You completely avoided briefing, and just stay out here…you never talk to us anymore…we never get to see you…I was starting to think that maybe you switched shifts without telling us,” Grossie admitted.

“Oh…sorry…” Ponch bit his lip.

Jon looked up from his report and over at the two. “Grossie, look it’s not like Ponch wanted to make you feel bad,” Jon defended.

“I understand that.”

Ponch stared down at the desk. “I’m sorry, Grossie…I didn’t realize that you guys cared that much…”

“Ponch, we all care about each other.”

Jon moved his chair closer and gave Ponch a kiss on the cheek. “He’s right, Ponch.”

Ponch smiled at Jon.

Grossie, Jon, and Ponch all chatted with each other for a while longer, and soon a few other officers joined in. Bear, Jeb, Sindy, and Bonnie were all gathered around at the desk to talk to Ponch.

Ponch leaned back in his chair and listened to the voices of his co-workers he missed this so much. He never realized how much he’d missed it.  

Jon was staying at the desk with Ponch now, since it was getting closer and closer to the due date. Ponch could’ve been home, but he was still allowed to work at the desk for one more week. That was what everyone was talking about at the moment, but suddenly the conversation was cut short when someone walked through the door.

“Excuse me…but I’m looking for an Officer Poncherello,” the man said.

Ponch looked a little confused before he replied. “I’m Officer Poncherello,” he said.

“Officer Poncherello…you realize that you’ve been carrying my child for almost nine months and haven’t told me… I had to find out myself,” the man said removing his hood.

Ponch’s eyes got wide, he looked over at Jon.

“What are you doing here?” Jon asked the guy as he stood up.

“Sit down,” the man said grabbing out his gun.

Jon hesitated.

“Sit down or I’ll kill all of you!”

Jon sat down.

The man looked over at the other officers, “The rest of you, drop your weapons,” he ordered.

They slowly did as they were told.

“Now slowly make your way back to the back of the room and sit against the wall and stay quiet. This conversation is just to be between me and Officers Baker and Poncherello.”

Chapter Text

Ponch looked over at Jon feeling very scared at the moment, because just as this guy had started to walk into the room he was starting to feel a little uncomfortable…a terrible pain in his stomach he just looked at Jon. After a few seconds he thought he was ok, but it didn't just stop.
Jon was so focused on the man with the gun he didn't see Ponch looking at him at all, but the man noticed it, and wondered what Ponch was up to. Soon Jon happened to glance over at Ponch at just the perfect time to see an expression on his face of "Ooh duh!" knowing what was going on. This now left Jon even more confused.
Jon scooted his chair closer to Ponch, "Are you ok?" he asked.
Ponch shook his head slightly "I'm not sure…" he replied then looked over towards the man. "I'm getting a gun pointed at me…I'm not sure how we're gonna get outta here…and uh…Brittley wants to come…"
Jon looked at him. "What? Now?"

"Not right at this second…I've got some time…" Ponch assured.

"Okay…um but we should get you outta here," Jon said.
The officers against the wall over heard the conversation and began to whisper things to each other. The room started to fill with chatter, making Gary (the man with the gun) upset.

"Quiet down!" he yelled.
It instantly got quiet. "Now someone mind telling me what the hell is going on?"

"Your baby is gonna come today," Jon said.
Gary shook his head not believing Jon. Ponch just looked at Jon, he was freaking out on the inside. He wasn't ready for this.
Ponch squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Jon...that hurts," he complained.

"Hey it'll be okay," Jon comforted.
Ponch wasn’t so sure though…would it really all just be okay?
Ponch and Jon slowly started to move. “We need to get outta here,” Jon said.

“I know that,” Ponch replied.
Gary stared at the two wondering what was being said, he was growing impatient and upset. “Don’t anybody move!” he yelled. He pointed his gun at Ponch, and put his finger up at the trigger.

Jon’s eyes got wide. He shook his head violently “Please don’t shoot,” he begged.

Ponch looked confused at first, till he looked over and saw Gary standing there still, and he saw where the gun was pointed. Ponch’s eyes got wide “You wanna kill me and your baby?” he asked baffled by this man’s actions. “You did this to me…and you wanna kill the baby. What’s your problem?” Ponch asked.

Gary shook his head not wanting to answer, he didn’t know what to say. He just continued to shake his head.

Ponch stared at him waiting for an answer, but instead of an answer he heard the sickening sound of a shot being fired.
Everything went so fast, yet to Jon and Ponch it seemed like it was slow motion…they didn’t have a fast enough reaction time. Gary upon noticing the blood starting to trickle down from Ponch’s chest turned and bolted out the door. All officers along the back wall got up and ran after him.

“Ponch!?” Jon cried he got right beside him. “Ponch can you hear me?” Jon had tears in his eyes.

“Jon…I d-d-don’t think…I’m g-g-g-gonna make it…” Ponch said starting to slip away.
Jon with tear filled eyes began to move Ponch to the car. “We can at least try to save you…” Jon said.

“If anything…” Ponch started but he was having trouble speaking. “S-S-S-Save…B-Brittley…”
Jon was unsure of that. Yes he wanted to save the baby…but if he could only save one of the two he wanted Ponch. Brittley wasn’t the same…

CHPCHPCHP

Jon got Ponch to the hospital as fast as he could, and they got him in right away. Jon had informed them of what Ponch said. He told them if they could only save one of them Ponch would rather his baby was saved. It killed Jon to have to say something like that. He wanted both to live!
Jon went and sat in the empty waiting room. No one was there, and he was bored to death…though he was too scared at the moment to think about being bored. The walls were an ugly green color that made Jon want to hurl. Jon sat there just waiting and waiting…what could be taking so long? He wanted it to go by much faster than it was. It seemed like he had been there for years…though it really was only a few hours maybe.
After a while Jon had fallen asleep, he was getting tired. It was a surprise that he was even able to settle down enough to fall asleep…but yeah he was asleep, and a nurse had to shake him slightly to wake him up. “Officer Baker?” she started.

“Yes?” he asked.

“With his final breath he asked if you’d take care of Brittley,” the nurse started.

“Final breath?” Jon asked.

“I’m sorry we weren’t able to save Officer Poncherello…but the baby is safe,” the young woman replied.

Jon had tears stinging his eyes at the loss of his best friend…partner…fiancée…but then he remembered Ponch left something behind for Jon. Something that still had a little Ponch in it, something that would bring Jon almost as much joy as Ponch did.

“Can I see her?” he asked.

The nurse nodded and led him to a room. There in the room Jon for the first time saw his new baby. He carefully picked her up and held her in his arms no words could describe the amount of joy he felt when he held this little girl. This was Ponch’s baby…the one that had been carried inside of him for 9 months…the one Jon couldn’t wait to see…the one that Gary didn’t want. Jon wanted her though, she was all his! He hugged her tight and gave her a kiss. “I love you Brittley…I always will,” he whispered.
Then he looked up to Heaven assuming that was where his friend was now. “I’ll take good care of her, Ponch…you don’t have to worry,” he said softly.