Cas stands stiffly at the entrance to the basement and eyes Dean warily. Dean is handcuffed and his torso is chained to a chair, stood on top of a devils trap in the centre of the room, he smirks at Cas and raises an eyebrow.
“You know Cas, I’ve never been happier than I am right now.”
Cas just stares at the wall behind Dean, attempting to ignore his friend, but Dean continues
“I feel so free, like all the crap I’ve had to deal with my whole life has just faded away into nothing. I couldn’t care less about any of it, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or how this is affecting Sammy, this is me now”
Cas finally looks into his friends green eyes, they flash to black and the angel is only rewarded with a sneering look for giving Dean his attention.
“You don’t mean that Dean and when we have performed the ritual you will go back to being the man we all know you are” he sighs “this isn’t you”
A smile creeps up at one corner of Deans lips
“Shit Cas, you’re so cute when you think you’re right, I mean you’re not right, but….”
Cas stiffens when he hears Deans words, the sentiment sends a painful jolt through the angel as he thinks of all the times Dean has stared longingly at the him or held him little longer than was necessary. Cas has been waiting a long time for Dean to tell him that he wants more from their profound bond than merely friendship, but he didn’t want it like this, he attempts to stare the hunter down, hoping to give the appearance of mere annoyance, but Dean must see that his words have moved something in Castiel so he pushes further.
“Yeah, I’ve wanted you pretty much from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I mean sparks flew right…” he leers, winking at the angel.
Castiel just about manages to force out a gravelly “Dean”, trying not to show the pleading in his eyes, before Dean continues.
“Oh yeah Cas, the things I’ve thought about doing to you mmmmm” he bites his bottom lip. “My stupid need to please everyone always held me back, but now, man if I could just get these cuffs off, well, let’s just say, we wouldn’t be getting into heaven again.”
Cas looks hurt and every word that Dean is uttering is like a hot knife through the angels heart, he needs to make it stop. He moves towards Dean and in a stilting whisper breathes out, “Dean, if there is anything of the man I know in there, please.” He forces down a lump in his throat “Please. Just. Stop.” Cas drops his gaze from the man he loves but not before he sees Deans eyes widen with recognition.
“Holy crap! You want this don’t you?” Dean laughs “Well shit Cas, get over here man, cause I’m ready to go.”
Cas winces at Deans words, he knows Dean will forget this conversation when the ritual is done, so he comes to the conclusion that he has nothing to lose, he will never have the courage to say these words to the human part of Dean, so he confesses.
“Yes Dean, I have loved you since the first time I saw your soul in hell, I have always wanted it to be more, but you, the real you, are one of the people I care about most, and I would never jeopardise that for my own selfish feelings.”
Cas looks up with tears in his eyes, the angel doesn’t cry often, it is an unfamiliar sight to Dean and he feels a sweep of emotion push through his body, but he quickly squashes to toy with the angel again.
“Well Cas, you know you’re never gonna get a chance like this again right!” Dean stretches up and arches his back showing just a strip of his toned stomach under his shirt.
Cas’s eyes flicker down involuntarily and his cheeks turn pink.
Dean sees the effect he has on the angel and chuckles, he blows a kiss at Castiel and bites his bottom lip, whilst his eyes wander all over Cas’s body. Cas turns to face away from Dean, hoping that the hunter will grow tired of tormenting him if he can no longer see the angels reactions. Castiel is counting down the minutes until Sam arrives back.
“Right” Dean sneers “So you’re just gonna ignore me know? Well that’s ok, I got a great view of your killer ass from here.”
Cas stiffens. Dean is enjoying every second of the effect he is having on the angel so he keeps the provocation going.
“You know, now would be the perfect time for us both to unleash a little bit of our, ummmm sexual tension.”
Cas doesn’t move.
“You and me, we’ve both been wanting this for so long. Come on Cas let’s just kiss and make up, huh.”
Cas’s shoulders drop slightly, it is a small movement, but Dean has known his angel for a long time and he can tell he is breaking Castiel’s resolve, with all this demon blood flowing through him he can feel the angst rolling out of the angel in front of him. Dean knows if he can get Cas close enough he might be able to escape.
“No use pretending Cas, I can feel the need seeping out of every part of you. You want me. I bet you’re imagining kissing me right now, sliding your hands down my back, touching my face, tongue just …….”
Before Dean can finish, the angel is hurtling towards him, the hunter flinches, Castiel’s face is inches from his now and as badass a demon as Dean knows he is, he also knows that Cas could end him without even breaking a sweat. Cas’s sad blue eyes stare into Deans and he tilts his head slightly, Dean knows the look so well and it sends a jolt of feelings through him that the demon struggles to reconcile with the feelings of hatred that have been flowing through him since he came back. Cas moves his face closer to Dean now and tentatively brushes his lips over the hunters, the simple move forces a growl out of the hunter that makes the angels stomach flip. Cas doesn’t really know why he is doing this, but he knows every part of him has wanted to do this since he raised Dean from perdition, and if this is the only way he can have him then he is going to take it.
Dean looks up at Castiel, who is practically straddling him now in his attempt to get closer to the hunter and it takes him a minute to get over the power of what just happened, the kiss, as chaste as it was, moved something in him that he wasn’t expecting. Dean is conflicted and has to force himself not to push forward to snatch another kiss from the angels perfectly chapped lips. Instead he pulls his hands out from underneath Cas and slowly hooks the handcuffs over Cas’s head, as if to pull the angel closer. Dean manoeuvers the angel so he is now sat on his lap, his legs either side of the chair, he is ready to overpower Cas, has him exactly where he wants him. Then Cas just looks at him, the angel’s eyes convey a thousand words without him ever having to say a single one, there is nothing but love swimming in the watery cobalt pools that are watching Dean now and he wonders how he never saw this before. The angel gently bumps his forehead on Deans in an attempt to hide the tears that are already forming.
“Dean, I am so sorry” he whispers
And that’s all it takes for Dean to be lost, he no longer wants to escape, he wants to stay in this position with Cas forever, he can feel the demon part of him fighting against the love that he has barrelling through him but when Cas looks up and his eyes meet Deans, all Dean wants to do is kiss him and make everything ok again.
Dean moves his face forward slowly at first and gently kisses the side of Cas’s mouth, he hears a small gasp escape the angels lips, but it doesn’t stop him from moving to capture his angels mouth with his again and Dean gently pushes into Cas’s mouth with his tongue, Cas lets out a sigh as Dean moans into his mouth and the whole room seems to fade around them as Dean pulls Cas in closer, the angels hands reaching up around his hunters neck as they melt into each other.
It is Cas that hears Sam opening the door to the bunker and pulls away from the kiss, he gets up quickly and looks at Dean, he almost thinks it is the old Dean back for a second when Dean stares at him with a look of confusion and something else he can’t put his finger on, but then the sneering demon is back in front of him and Cas knows what he felt when kissing Dean must have just been all in his head. Dean just raises an eyebrow at Cas and when Sam bounds down to the basement where they are Cas grimaces and mutters “I have to go” leaving Sam with a look of confusion as the familiar flap of feathers fans up behind him, telling him the angel is gone.
Sam turns to Dean “What did you do?” he asks with a pained expression.
The older Winchester just shrugs and fixes Sam with a glare that he knows is not his brother. Sam prepares to start the ritual, looking forward to never seeing that look in his brother’s eyes again.
*2 days later*
Dean is finally recovering from the ritual and seems to be getting back to his old self, he slept for the first 12 hours after and Sam was worried he wasn’t going to wake up again, so that afternoon, when Dean walks into the library with a sheepish grin on his face, Sam is relieved to say the least.
“Hey man, how are you feeling now?” Sam asks frowning
“Well Sammy, I feel like I’ve got the hangover from hell, no pun intended, and I could do with a gallon of coffee and about 12 burgers, but you know, apart from that…”
Sam huffs “Huh, still can’t remember anything you did as a demon?”
Dean laughs a little and pulls a face “Nope, nothing, it’s a complete blank.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“Ok, weird, ummm I’ll go get you some food and you just sit and try get some rest” Sam says whilst already heading towards the kitchen.
Dean slumps down into a chair, and touches his lips with a little smile. Keeping some things from Sam wasn’t going to hurt him, his time as a demon was definitely hazy and he was in no rush to remember that, but one memory was definitely in there, clear as a bell, and every time he thinks about it he can’t seem to stop the smile from spreading over his face, it’s time to admit how he really feels, he looks up.
“Cas! You there buddy? We need to talk”