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Conversation Title: Fresh Captains Episode 13: Revenge of the Asymmetrical Haircut

 

Conversation description:

If I say ‘no’ enough times, will this system cease to exist? – e. chikara

bughhh it’s too early for your existential crisis – f. kenji

‘no’ is futile. you have to say ‘fuck this shit I’m flying to the sun’ – s. kenjirou

fun fact: if you went to the sun, you would die – a. keiji

incredible. amazing. mind = blown – y. shigeru 

WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT – t. yuuji

 

Current members:

futakuchis

shirabae

classyahaba

ennosuffering

time2party

Hootkaashi

 

classyahaba: ok but

classyahaba: I’m in one of those moods

classyahaba: you know the one

classyahaba: where I’m angry but I’m not allowed to show it and that just makes me angrier?

classyahaba: you should all join me

classyahaba: we can pool together our combined inner rage

Hootkaashi: edgy

Hootkaashi: what supervillain are you trying to turn into today?

classyahaba: one that is a winner

Hootkaashi: shigeru you’re already a winner

classyahaba: don’t be nice to me I’m angry right now

Hootkaashi: oh ok

Hootkaashi: you’re a loser and I don’t like you

classyahaba: wow

Hootkaashi: all jokes aside though, I hope you get over your anger soon

classyahaba: it’s not gonna happen

classyahaba: but thanks

futakuchis: yeah akaashi don’t you know

futakuchis: the reason why yahaba’s hair is always perfect is because he styles it with rage

classyahaba: it’s natural actually

futakuchis: “natural” he says as he wakes up at 3:59 in the AM to comb through his luscious silky caramel locks with five cans of hair product and a silver plated top quality hairbrush gifted from the gods

Hootkaashi: futakuchi

Hootkaashi: a) what the fuck was that

Hootkaashi: b) leave him alone he is angry

futakuchis: HE’S ALWAYS ANGRY

classyahaba: I’m not always angry!

shirabae: yahaba be like “I can be your angle or yuor devil”

classyahaba: now I’m even angrier

shirabae: point proven


 

ennosuffering: it’s spelt “angel”?

shirabae: it’s a meme

ennosuffering: man I can honestly never keep up these days

Hootkaashi: stop talking like you’re old

Hootkaashi: you’re the youngest one here

Hootkaashi: december 26 … an actual child

ennosuffering: I’m born right after christmas though

ennosuffering: because I’m the gift you never deserved

shirabae: shit man are you taken

ennosuffering: am I taken?

ennosuffering: aren’t YOU taken?

Hootkaashi: I’m taken

ennosuffering: you are?

Hootkaashi: taken for granted, yes

Hootkaashi: my name is Akaashi Keiji and I am suffering

shirabae: listen… that was good

shirabae: I relate to you

Hootkaashi: you’re right I get that a lot

futakuchis: oh yeah idk if you guys knew, but yahaba’s actually the youngest

futakuchis: he’s march 1st the year after all of us

shirabae: yahaba shigeru is a literal baby

Hootkaashi: oh that’s why he has such … youthful features

ennosuffering: yahaba is weirdly tall for his age but I want to touch his adorable face

classyahaba: one more word from you people and that’s it

futakuchis: LOOK AT THAT we’ve summoned him

classyahaba: my question is how did you know that???

classyahaba: I sure didn’t tell you :/

Hootkaashi: are we all going to ignore what ennoshita just said

futakuchis: you have a fan club. they’re cute I asked them

classyahaba: you … asked them

futakuchis: I paid them in pictures of you on that horse

classyahaba: FUTAKUCHI 

Hootkaashi: run


 

time2party: late but I would like to start some discourse

Hootkaashi: oh no

time2party: REGARDING YAHABA’S HAIR COLOR

time2party: kenji used the phrase ‘caramel locks’ but I beg to differ

Hootkaashi: I mean

time2party: I think it’s more of a peach color

Hootkaashi: … ok no that’s even further from the truth than we started

Hootkaashi: it’s like…

Hootkaashi: silvery-brown?

time2party: it’s peach

Hootkaashi: it is most definitely not peach

ennosuffering: why are we debating Yahaba’s hair color in the first place? Does it really matter? Why don’t you just ask Yahaba?

time2party: ENNOSHITA!!!!!!!! MY LOVE MY ANGLE

time2party: DID U MISS ME

ennosuffering: I mean

ennosuffering: you misspelled angel

time2party: of course u missed me

time2party: CAUSE THE PARTY

time2party: DON’T

time2party: START

time2party: TIL I WALK IN

time2party: cue beat drop

time2party: cue johzenji rave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ennosuffering: um

time2party: NOOP BOOP BA DIP DOP

time2party: loud yelling

time2party: loud screeching

time2party: sound of waves hitting the ocean shore

time2party: MORE YELLING BC WE’RE NOWHERE NEAR THE OCEAN

time2party: PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING IN SPANISH

time2party: THE SKY IS FALLING AND THE EARTH IS ALIVE

ennosuffering: what

time2party: it’s the end of the universe

time2party: I’ve got karasuno’s captain in my arms

ennosuffering: no I’m going to cut you off right there

time2party: aww :( I didn’t even get to the best part yet

ennosuffering: please keep your fantasies to yourself

ennosuffering: honestly where do you get all this energy?

time2party: hmmm extracurricular activities ;)

ennosuffering: seriously? volleyball just makes me more tired

Hootkaashi: other extracurricular activities, ennoshita

time2party: u got it hoothoot ;)

ennosuffering:

ennosuffering: you have time for other extracurricular activities?

time2party: I have time for u if that’s what ur asking

ennosuffering: I’m not asking

ennosuffering: so why are we debating Yahaba’s hair color again?

time2party: what if I want to write fanfic

time2party: and I don’t know how to describe his hair color?

time2party: WHAT WILL I DO THEN

ennosuffering: you worry me, sometimes

Hootkaashi: he worries me all the time

time2party: AWWW SO U DO CARE!!

Hootkaashi: ah

Hootkaashi: ‘care’ would be a bit of a stretch

ennosuffering: oh ouch

time2party: heartbreaker </3


 

futakuchis: what up my dudes

time2party: u wanna know what’s up ;^)

time2party: u should come over ;^) come see what’s… up

futakuchis: uhh

futakuchis: I don’t think I wanna know what’s up anymore

shirabae: wise

shirabae: I don’t trust people who put noses in their smilies anyway

futakuchis: smilies

futakuchis: shirabu said smilies

shirabae: that’s what they are though? smilies

time2party: babe … nobody says smilies anymore

shirabae: nobody cares

time2party: I care!! fresh captains can’t have u talkin like that

shirabae: smilies smilies smilies

time2party: u,, are cute,, but also a brat,,,

shirabae: says the biggest brat

time2party: who dat be… the boy in the mirror?

shirabae: the boy in your mirror, yeah

futakuchis: does anyone ever win with shirabu

shirabae: I’d like to see you try… bitch

time2party: dam kenji he got u there

futakuchis: ur right…  I am a bitch

futakuchis: thanks

shirabae: don’t thank me, I was trying to insult you.

futakuchis: ayyy lmaooo

shirabae: ‘ayyy lmaooo’ all you want

shirabae: you’ll never defeat me

shirabae: not in volleyball, not in memes, nothing

futakuchis: what about in height :^)

shirabae: do you want to die


 

time2party: guys I’m

time2party: I want to fleeenf

time2party: I want you to haifnve

time2party: I want to fly ;)

futakuchis: I’m pretty sure that’s not what you wanted to say

time2party: no I want to

time2party: send you all pictures of my beautiful face

 

time2party has sent an image.

 

futakuchis: uuuuhhhhh

futakuchis: that’s... not your face

time2party: ;0 can u confirm

futakuchis: um yes?? I know what your face looks like

time2party: do u really …

ennosuffering: I want to fry a dumpling

time2party: wait what

time2party: that’s not the reaction I was expecting

time2party: but I’m flexible

time2party: I’ll fry ur dumpling ;)

ennosuffering: I want to submerge all the dumplings in sizzling hot oil and watch them slowly burn into a crisp

time2party:

time2party: I’d submerge u in hot oil ;)

futakuchis: HOW DID WE GET HERE I WAS ONLY GONE FOR 20 SECS

time2party: 20 secs of hot oil madness

time2party: glistening golden ooze dripping down ur body

futakuchis: wtf the fuck is happenign

ennosuffering: ^ what the fuck the fuck is happening

futakuchis: ennoshita no

time2party: why is it hot when u swear

ennosuffering: don’t talk to me unless you use acronyms correctly

ennosuffering: and Terushima for your own sake, let’s just pretend this conversation never happened

futakuchis: ENNOSHITA

time2party: what happened to the dumplings :( we need to finish the story

ennosuffering: in other news, where’s Akaashi?

ennosuffering: I need to borrow his business tactics handbook

futakuchis: are you actually ignoring me

time2party: give me hugs and compensation or a good time

ennosuffering: I have the sudden and urgent need to photocopy and preserve chapter 7

ennosuffering: “how to deal with difficult and annoying people”

futakuchis: HEY

time2party: why must you play this game

shirabae: rip in peace

Hootkaashi: ^ rest in peace in peace

Hootkaashi: I’ll send you the files ennoshita

futakuchis: I hate you all


 

time2party: sighs

shirabae: why are you sighing

time2party: gay sighing

shirabae: never mind I don’t want to know

Hootkaashi: ah, gay sighing

Hootkaashi: the sound of my kind of people

time2party: u get me

Hootkaashi: so why the sigh? any particular reason?

time2party: I mean ok u know how

time2party: sometimes u see girls and ur like HELL YEAH

time2party: but then sometimes u see guys and it’s like

time2party: LOUD AND HEAVY GAY SIGHING

Hootkaashi: so you’re having a sexuality crisis again?

time2party: I MEAN GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY

time2party: BUT BOYS DO YOU FEEL

Hootkaashi: I mean I’m not bi like you are, but I can empathise

time2party: ahhhhh wait is it ok to talk to u about this??? is it weird for u??

Hootkaashi: frankly this is amusing

time2party: wait I don’t want to talk to u about this

time2party: ur hot and it will ruin my image

Hootkaashi: it’s a bit too late for that

shirabae: savage

time2party: SHIRABU UR STILL HERE

time2party: JOIN ME IN LOUD AND HEAVY GAY SIGHING

shirabae: I don’t like the way you phrased that

shirabae: try again please

time2party: join me in roaring and burdensome homosexual breathing

shirabae: I

shirabae: that’s not any better

shirabae: in fact it might even be worse


 

futakuchis: hello

futakuchis: hello?

futakuchis: hellooooooooooo

futakuchis: is it only me here

futakuchis: this is rare

futakuchis: someone come talk to me I’m bored

futakuchis: oh well

futakuchis: if nobody comes to talk to me I’m going to start changing people’s names

futakuchis: don’t say I didn’t warn you

futakuchis: anybody????

futakuchis: so nobody objects to me changing their names

futakuchis: HELLOOOO????????????

futakuchis: tch

futakuchis: none of you care about me

futakuchis: you’re all fake friends and I am offended

 

futakuchis has changed classyahaba’s name to yahabae.

 

futakuchis: wow yahaba and shirabu matching screennames

futakuchis: never thought I’d see the day

futakuchis: yahashira otp

yahabae: futakuchi when I kill you no-one will ever find your body

futakuchis: YAHABA IS HERE!!!

shirabae: back off yahaba I’m killing him first

futakuchis: SHIRABU IS HERE TOO!!!

yahabae: it’s not a competition

shirabae: it is now

yahabae: you can’t make it a competition, I said it before you did

shirabae: you’ve got creampuff hair

shirabae: you don’t get to say anything

yahabae: I just did though

futakuchis: yahashira otp moments compilation part 1

shirabae: FUTAKUCHI

yahabae: FUTAKUCHI

futakuchis: I feel so loved now

futakuchis: all these people … screaming my name …

Hootkaashi: have you considered: not making it worse

futakuchis: what was that … I can’t hear you over everyone screaming my name …

Hootkaashi: they scream in fear

futakuchis: FEAR OF HOW GREAT I AM

yahabae: I call dibs on killing futakuchi

futakuchis: get in line oikawa junior


 

ennosuffering: alright guys

ennosuffering: long time no see

ennosuffering: but I have a proposal

time2party: UR GETTING MARRIED? SINCE WHEN

time2party: MORE IMPORTANTLY

time2party: AM I INVITED TO THE WEDDING

time2party: I would like to play the groom ;)

futakuchis: SMOOTH AF

ennosuffering: no, no, and no

futakuchis: ENNOSHITA NICE RECEIVE

ennosuffering: Volleyball references will get you nowhere.

ennosuffering: Anyway. Proposal.

time2party: ur proposing to me???? aww, u shouldn’t have!

ennosuffering: I’m not

ennosuffering: can you let me talk please

shirabae: let mom speak

ennosuffering: Shirabu

shirabae: sorry mom

ennosuffering: it’s about volleyball practice

ennosuffering: I was thinking we could schedule like a round robin thing?

ennosuffering: so it would be like a mini tournament and people can win prizes

time2party: I heard prizes I’m in

futakuchis: hmmmmmmmmmm

futakuchis: something about this set up strikes me as weird

shirabae: says the weird one

futakuchis: I wonder

futakuchis: ennoshita this wouldn’t be because you need some sound and footage for your film project, right?

ennosuffering: I have no idea what you’re talking about

time2party: if I get duped, at least I get duped by a hot guy ;)

time2party: am I right or am I right?

ennosuffering: but anyway I feel like a fun little competition would be good

ennosuffering: you don’t have to go all out

ennosuffering: just get ready for karasuno to kick your asses

shirabae: oh you did not just say that

ennosuffering: :^)

shirabae: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS

shirabae: YOU TOO WITH THE NOSES?

shirabae: LEAVE THE SMILIES ALONE

ennosuffering: karasunoooo fightttt

shirabae: I’ll be there just to make you eat your words

time2party: I want karasuno to kick my ass … in bed

shirabae: get away from this chat you nasty human being


 

futakuchis: /revs engines

shirabae: you can’t drive, you don’t have a license

futakuchis: /revs illegal engines

 

time2party has changed time2party’s name to engines.

 

engines: baby you can rev me anytime ;)

futakuchis: dude…

futakuchis: dont make it weird

engines: vroom vroom

shirabae: what the fuck is this

shirabae: I didn’t sign up for weird roleplay

engines: ride me shirabae

shirabae: you’re disgusting

yahabae: you don’t ride engines though??? that’s not the point of an engine??

engines: ur ruining my dirty talk yahaboo

yahabae: wow what a shame

 

yahabae has changed engines’ name to TerushimaYuuji.

 

TerushimaYuuji: WTF DON’T BE BORING

TerushimaYuuji: THAT’S SO BORING

yahabae: do I look like I care

TerushimaYuuji: u know fuckin What

futakuchis: what angelcakes

TerushimaYuuji: shh not now honeybuns

TerushimaYuuji: this whole chat is gettin a makeover

TerushimaYuuji: I’M RIOTING

TerushimaYuuji: IM CALLING THE FUN POLICE

TerushimaYuuji: CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP

 

TerushimaYuuji has changed yahabae’s name to YahooooPrettyBoy.

TerushimaYuuji has changed futakuchis’ name to carfucker.

 

YahooooPrettyBoy: I’m

carfucker: well this is inappropriate

shirabae: disgusting DISGUSTING

shirabae: GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT

 

TerushimaYuuji has changed shirabae’s name to shitSON.

 

TerushimaYuuji: shit son

TerushimaYuuji: u need to chill

 

TerushimaYuuji has changed TerushimaYuuji’s name to ultimateBabe.

ennosuffering has removed ultimateBabe from the conversation.

 

ennosuffering: bam and the dirt is gone

YahooooPrettyBoy: a true blessing in disguise

ennosuffering: now, time to fix things up a bit

 

ennosuffering has changed carfucker’s name to NiceFutakuchi.

ennosuffering has changed shitSON’s name to NiceShirabu.

 

NiceShirabu: stop converting us

NiceShirabu: I don’t want this name

NiceFutakuchi: Ennoshita think I’m nice? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

NiceShirabu: literally nobody thinks that

 

ennosuffering has changed YahooooPrettyBoy’s name to NiceYahaba.

ennosuffering has changed ennosuffering’s name to NiceEnnoshita.

 

NiceYahaba: OH GOD STOP

NiceYahaba: I DON’T WANT US ALL TO MATCH

NiceYahaba: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

 

NiceEnnoshita has changed Hootkaashi’s name to NiceAkaashi.

 

NiceShirabu: is this really necessary

NiceEnnoshita: isn’t it?

NiceYahaba: ennoshita I trusted you

NiceYahaba: trust = broken

NiceEnnoshita: k

 

NiceEnnoshita has added ultimateBabe to the conversation.

 

ultimateBabe: GUYS IM SORRY DON’T BLOCK M

NiceFutakuchi: Nice, Terushima

ultimateBabe: E I HAVE HAD MY FILL TODAY I’M DONE I’M

 

NiceEnnoshita has changed ultimateBabe’s name to NiceTerushima.

 

NiceTerushima: what????

NiceFutakuchi: welcome back

NiceTerushima: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

NiceTerushima: am I missing out on something

NiceTerushima: what’s the joke here…

NiceShirabu: you

NiceYahaba: oh yeah. real mature, shirabu.

NiceShirabu: big words coming from a baby

NiceFutakuchi: using pet names now, are we

NiceYahaba: the only one on your team shorter than you is your libero

NiceYahaba: FUTAKUCHI! GET!! OUT!!!!

NiceAkaashi: oh? Hello, what do we have here?

NiceFutakuchi: hey akaashi what do you think of our new names

NiceAkaashi: I see ennoshita taught you all to play nice

NiceAkaashi: 11/10

NiceYahaba: …………

NiceAkaashi: nice


 

NiceEnnoshita: nope nope nope

NiceEnnoshita: I’ve changed my mind

NiceEnnoshita: this is making my eyes ugh so much

 

NiceEnnoshita has changed NiceEnnoshita’s name to ennoway.

 

NiceFutakuchi: ENNOWAY

 

ennoway has changed NiceFutakuchi’s name to shut up futakuchi.

 

NiceTerushima: SHOT DOWN

NiceYahaba: amazing

 

ennoway has changed NiceTerushima’s name to BadTerushima.

ennoway has changed NiceYahaba’s name to SonOfOikawa.

 

shut up futakuchi: why are you letting him do this

NiceAkaashi: don’t judge

NiceAkaashi: let him be himself

SonOfOikawa: he cannot be stopped

BadTerushima: quick someone sing bad boy @ me

SonOfOikawa: what? ‘be my bad boy, be my man’?

BadTerushima: BE MY WEEKEND LOVER

BadTerushima: BUT DON’T BE MY FRIEND ;)

shut up futakuchi: can we not bring this song back please

BadTerushima: can we blast this song at max volume please

shut up futakuchi: ugh why is life so terrible and unfair

SonOfOikawa: shut up futakuchi

shut up futakuchi: why must you attack me like this

 

NiceAkaashi has changed shut up futakuchi’s name to futakuchi is ok I guess.

 

futakuchi is ok I guess: wow thanks akaashi

NiceAkaashi: you’re welcome

futakuchi is ok I guess: I swear you’re all doing this on purpose

 

ennoway has changed NiceShirabu’s name to shirabunbun.

 

shirabunbun: what the fuck

SonOfOikawa: LMAO

BadTerushima: THAT’S ADORABLE HOLY SHIT

BadTerushima: BUN BUN SHIRABU

BadTerushima: SHIRABUNNY????

futakuchi is ok I guess: omg wow why does shirabu get a cute nickname

 

BadTerushima has changed futakuchi is ok I guess’s name to futacchi.

 

BadTerushima: ur cute now ur welcome honey

futacchi: BABE

 

futacchi has changed BadTerushima’s name to teru-chan.

 

teru-chan: im cute now too!!!

teru-chan: aw im so flattered thank u

futacchi: ur welcome

teru-chan: blows u kisses

futacchi: blows kisses back

SonOfOikawa: for the love of

SonOfOikawa: keep the pda out of the chat please

teru-chan: are u jealous yahaba

futacchi: blows yahaba kisses

SonOfOikawa: please leave me alone

teru-chan: omg weird question but

teru-chan: yahaba are u blushing rn

SonOfOikawa: what??? no???

teru-chan: dammit kenji try harder

futacchi: what?

teru-chan: I’ve shipped futayaha since day one

teru-chan: where’s my extra gay content

teru-chan: I need sustenance

teru-chan: I need to live

futacchi: but…

futacchi: I ship yahashira…

futacchi: have you seen the way they look at each other

SonOfOikawa: I ship both of you and death

NiceAkaashi: A ship war? In this group chat?

NiceAkaashi: It’s more likely than you think.

shirabunbun: yahaba x his shitty hair

shirabunbun: yahaba x his bathroom mirror

shirabunbun: yahaba x his silver plated top quality hairbrush gifted from the gods

shirabunbun: yahaba x his oikawa shrine

shirabunbun: yahaba x that wing spiker that he hates (read: loves)

SonOfOikawa: shirabu literally what the fuck


 

ennoway: so does anyone want to tell me what’s actually going on in yahaba’s love life

SonOfOikawa: please drop this immediately

futacchi: yahaba sleep-dialled me once

SonOfOikawa: I did no such thing!!

teru-chan: TELL ME MORE

SonOfOikawa: THERE’S NOTHING TO TELL

ennoway: is there really nothing happening down your avenue

SonOfOikawa: nothing. and I’d like to keep it that way

shirabunbun: why the fuck you lyin why you always lyin

shirabunbun: mmmm oh mY GOD

shirabunbun: STOP FUCKIN LYIN

ennoway: SHIRABU GO TO THE TIME OUT CORNER

shirabunbun: you’re not the boss of me


 

teru-chan: shirabu have u seen urself

shirabunbun: yes why

teru-chan: ur beautiful

shirabunbun: I don’t want to hear that from you

teru-chan: ur like so fukcign cute and I lov ur hair and its funny when u get mad bc ur face gets all … rosy and shit

shirabunbun: are you drunk

teru-chan: no I just have eyes

SonOfOikawa: teru preying on the setters again I see

teru-chan: yahaba will u give me cpr if I die

SonOfOikawa: you’re implying I would be around to do so?  

teru-chan: don’t lie…. u will always be by my side

 

teru-chan has changed SonOfOikawa’s name to yahabasanchan.

 

shirabunbun: what is happening

teru-chan: I… will always love u…

NiceAkaashi: what’s going on

yahabasanchan: at this point, does anybody know what’s going on?

 

teru-chan has changed NiceAkaashi’s name to prettyakaashi.

 

prettyakaashi: slightly miffed by this change

prettyakaashi: I’m not pretty akaashi? I’m actually very akaashi? I kind of am akaashi?

prettyakaashi: this is false advertising

 

shirabunbun changed prettyakaashi’s name to veryakaashi.

 

veryakaashi: thank you shirabu

shirabunbun: np

yahabasanchan: keiji did you just try and fail to make a dad joke

veryakaashi: never

yahabasanchan: just asking…

shirabunbun: akaashi could never fail at anything

veryakaashi: that’s so nice of you

veryakaashi: it’s almost weird

veryakaashi: actually it IS weird

veryakaashi: are you the real shirabu kenjirou?

shirabunbun: am I?

teru-chan: who are we really

teru-chan: the sun will explode and the world will one day die

teru-chan: so give me ur number pls I’ll show u a good time

veryakaashi: when will terushima stop

shirabunbun: if he did it’d be the 8th wonder of the world


 

ennoway: so… I’m free this weekend, surprisingly

teru-chan: what a coincidence I am too

teru-chan: this must be fate

veryakaashi: oh look I’m free too

veryakaashi: what a surprise

shirabunbun: it’s a public holiday you morons

veryakaashi: :^)

shirabunbun: why do you have to do this? why do you have to taint smilies in this way? it doesn’t need a fucking nose, it was perfectly fine without a nose and you just had to give it a goddamn nose like you have the RIGHT to dictate what a smily should BE, you complete and utter ASSHAT

veryakaashi: :^(

ennoway: :-)

teru-chan: :o)

shirabunbun: I’m logging off

ennoway: so anyway about this weekend

ennoway: remember that round robin thing I mentioned?

teru-chan: time place date hit me up babe

ennoway: well, you have to at least bring 6 people from your team

ennoway: but otherwise… karasuno at 9am? The entire weekend (or whenever you can make it)? Let me know if you’re coming though, so I can let my coach know and he can let the school know etc etc

teru-chan: AWESOME

veryakaashi: am I invited

ennoway: no

veryakaashi: great I’ll be there at 10


 

futacchi: ooohhh weekend volleyball, my favorite

ennoway: can datekou make it?

futacchi: probs though I’ll need to physically drag pantalons out of bed

futacchi: I’ll get aone to do it he owes me

ennoway: who is pantalons?

futacchi: uhh

futacchi: wing spiker on my team? 3rd year? looks sleepy and has lame poofy hair?

ennoway: what is pantalons’ real name

futacchi: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

futacchi: pantalons is his real name

ennoway:

ennoway: well good luck getting him out of bed captain-I-don’t-know-my-teammate’s-names

futacchi: PANTALONS IS HIS NAME

yahabasanchan: late but seijou can’t make it

ennoway: bullshit get your ass over here

futacchi: WHY SUDDENLY SO AGGRESSIVE

ennoway: sorry that was tanaka

futacchi: I swear you always say that just to maintain your innocent and good image

ennoway: my what bruh fuckin fight me

ennoway: sorry tanaka stole my phone again

futacchi: you are not fooling anybody

yahabasanchan: anyway seijou can’t make it

ennoway: seijou can make it I asked kyoutani

yahabasanchan: W H A T

yahabasanchan: AND I WAS NOT INFORMED???

yahabasanchan: I AM THE CAPTAIN

yahabasanchan: WHO GIVES HIM THE FUCKING RIGHT

 

ennoway has added kyoutan to the conversation.

 

ennoway: tell your captain what we spoke about

kyoutan: fuck I told yahaba I didnt hav skype

yahabasanchan: W H A T

yahabasanchan: YOU

yahabasanchan: KYOUTANI YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS

kyoutan: nothin

yahabasanchan: speak

kyoutan: I said we hav traingn camp n we would b nearby

kyoutan: im not friends w karasuno captn tho just the other guy

yahabasanchan: wait you have friends???

kyoutan: fuck u

kyoutan: bye

 

kyoutan has left the conversation.

 

ennoway: yahaba that wasn’t very nice   

yahabasanchan: you don’t understand, we don’t get along very well

futacchi: I thought you got over this? you guys became friends too, right?

yahabasanchan: im just a shitty person ok I get it

ennoway: don’t say that!

futacchi: haha yeah you are

ennoway: futakuchi, don’t agree!

futacchi: but you’re a shitty person with feelings ok

futacchi: just try and work things out instead of overthinking it

ennoway: better

yahabasanchan: sorry

yahabasanchan: I was trying to keep my personal problems out of your lives

yahabasanchan: that’s why I didn’t actually want to go to your thing ennoshita

yahabasanchan: sorry again

ennoway: it’s fine, I’m sorry for pushing you. we’re friends though, it’s okay to share things with us, you know

ennoway: we may be a group of sarcastic shits but we know how to be there when it counts

ennoway: do you want to talk about it?

yahabasanchan: no it’s okay

yahabasanchan: it’s my fault anyway

yahabasanchan: I’ll make it up to him eventually I promise

futacchi: I just called teru he’s on his way to seijou

yahabasanchan: what??? why??

futacchi: we’re gonna fix this and you’re gonna come to ennoshita’s thing and have fun

yahabasanchan: no!! seriously you don’t have to!!!

futacchi: bitch yes we do

yahabasanchan: you’re a little shit

futacchi: I know


 

ennoway: hey, futakuchi? update me if you can

ennoway: I asked tanaka to talk to kyoutani

futacchi: we’re @ seijou and teru’s flirting with yahaba’s fanclub

futacchi: we’re hoping they know where he is because he’s not in the gym

futacchi: oh yeah we passed watari shinji

futacchi: seijou’s libero

futacchi: he says that the fight is about them not trusting each other on the court

futacchi: apparently yahaba doesn’t toss to his ace unless he thinks he deserves it

ennoway: yikes… that’s not good

futacchi: uncertain when this started

futacchi: apparently kyou said something about yahaba wanting to copy oikawa so badly that he lost his own touch

ennoway: oh wow ok I know the feeling

futacchi: yahaba obv did not take that well

ennoway: no kidding

futacchi: yahaba’s basically been a bitch about this one thing for days

futacchi: and he’s lashin out at people because of it

ennoway: that sucks

futacchi: yeah. and he feels bad about it too

futacchi: self esteem issues you know

futacchi: what did he call it?? setter expectations?

futacchi: but apparently kyou just thinks he doesn’t want him on the team anymore

ennoway: oh no

futacchi: we found him btw

futacchi: teru’s got him pinned

futacchi: but he won’t talk to us :/

ennoway: where are you?

futacchi: home ec room, top floor of some big white building with lots of windows

ennoway: tanaka’s gonna bring kyoutani there, okay?

futacchi: mkay

ennoway: don’t you DARE start a fight

futacchi: relax

futacchi: I may be a sarcastic shit but I know how to be there when it counts


 

shirabunbun: it’s been awfully quiet

shirabunbun: not that I care but

shirabunbun: did seijou get things sorted?

teru-chan: I think so!

teru-chan: I gave yahaba many hugs

teru-chan: also I tried to hug his ace but the dude bit me :(

teru-chan: it was a good solid bite and there is now a red mark on my arm

veryakaashi: sorry I couldn’t contribute anything

veryakaashi: tokyo and all

veryakaashi: I’d be there if I could

futacchi: don’t worry, all you missed was yahaba being a baby as usual  

yahabasanchan: shut up. I just get really caught up in little things ok

yahabasanchan: I didn’t think it hurt him that much and that was stupid of me

yahabasanchan: I thought he just hated me because I’m not half as good as oikawa

shirabunbun: what did I say about oikawa tooru

shirabunbun: one is already too much. two is overkill

shirabunbun: we don’t need more oikawas in the world

shirabunbun: delete him

yahabasanchan: you insult MY senpai in MY time of need

yahabasanchan: I get that you’re trying to be supportive shirabu, but now I’m just mad again

shirabunbun: mad that oikawa tooru exists

yahabasanchan: SHIRABU I WILL THROW A VOLLEYBALL AT YOUR HEAD

shirabunbun: with what? your skinny little baby arms?

futacchi: at least things are back to normal

ennoway: so are we all good for this weekend?

yahabasanchan: yeah! we’ll be there

shirabunbun: we’ll probably be there I’ll ask kawanishi

futacchi: pantalons’ real name is onagawa tarou

teru-chan: if I’m the first one there, will u reward me

ennoway: everyone’s in I’m glad

ennoway: Akaashi?

veryakaashi: I’ll be on a trip

ennoway: oh yeah! Have a safe one!

veryakaashi: can’t guarantee that

ennoway: die then


 

ennoway: wake up everyone!

ennoway: wake up everyone!

ennoway: wake up everyone!

shirabunbun: IT’S ONLY 5AM

ennoway: it sure is

futacchi: ennoshita… what the fuck… it’s still dark outside and I can’t even see my feet

shirabunbun: that’s cause you’re too fucking tall

futacchi: I don’t appreciate this cruelty at 5 in the AM thank you very much

teru-chan: I think it’s cute that ennoshita’s excited

yahabachansan: god itk ‘s  t oo f uckoign early g o back to slep

teru-chan: and yahaba is clearly not a morning person

ennoway: I’m surprised at the turnout actually

ennoway: I didn’t expect all of you to be woken by notifications

ennoway: but this is impressive

ennoway: everyone’s here except Akaashi

shirabunbun: probably muted us for the day

shirabunbun: miyagi event and all

teru-chan: aww :( akaashi will never know how much I love them

ennoway: I’m sure Akaashi is aware

veryakaashi: I am

veryakaashi: both aware and here and going to destroy ennoshita chikara

ennoway: sorry for waking you up!

veryakaashi: you’re not sorry

ennoway: you’re right I’m not

veryakaashi: I’m going to eat my suitcase


 

Akaashi, who was lying and did not actually want to eat their suitcase, wheeled the item out of their house a good half hour later, and stepped outside the door to join it. The trains ran from as early as 3 in the morning, for whatever the reason may have been, but they were not overtly keen on rousing the rest of Fukurodani so early.

It was just their luck that Ennoshita had decided to wake the captains up at 5, because that gave them adequate time to gather the rest of their team, as well as call through to Nekoma – Kenma had sent them around a dozen death threats over text, but after replying with a succinct ’suffer with me’ they pretended not to see them – and arrive at Shinjuku station by 7:30.

They did a quick head count, as they were used to doing as captain, and leafed through the route map with Yamamoto.

“It’ll take at least two and a half hours to get to Miyagi,” they told him. “Do you think everyone is okay with that?”

Yamamoto suppressed a loud yawn, “I mean, everyone will probably be asleep! It’s way too early for this.”

“Karasuno had to do the same to come to our training camps, I’m sure we can make this sacrifice for them, too.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t a training camp, is it?”

“True.” Akaashi mused. “Ennoshita is the only one who knows we’re coming. Our coaches have discussed it though. They’ll be driving down later today to check in on us, so we should treat it just like a training camp. I mean, you’ve always wanted to try your hand at beating Shiratorizawa, right?”

Yamamoto grinned, raising a fist in the air. “Nothing like a good fight to keep the blood pumping!”

“… not at a fight.” Akaashi deadpanned. “At volleyball.”

“Oh yeah.” Yamamoto said, quieter this time. “That too.”


 

ennoway: you guys get some exciting morning activities

ennoway: help me set up!

shirabunbun: is karasuno even big enough to have so many teams at once?

ennoway: we will set up some courts outside too!

futacchi: why do we have to help you set up

ennoway: because we need to get out supplies and prizes and food and all that fun stuff

ennoway: and set up cameras :)

futacchi: are you sure this isn’t for your film project

ennoway: I want to record something so we have the memories!

ennoway: daichi told me the third years did something like this too

ennoway: just as a little collective group!

ennoway: but you know me

ennoway: go hard or go home

futacchi: up until recently, you always picked the latter

ennoway: shut your mouth

teru-chan: yeah kenji

teru-chan: now chikara wants to go hard ;)

ennoway: shut your mouth too

ennoway: come and help me set up already

shirabunbun: don’t you have a vice captain to help you?

ennoway: he’s asleep! Why wake him up when I have you guys?

futacchi: ennoshita you

ennoway: :3c

futacchi: I cannot believe


 

True to his word, Ennoshita had somehow acquired many boxes of things, and they all lay unopen in Karasuno’s gym. He sat on top of one of them while he waited, clearly with no intention of working on his own.

Shirabu was the first to arrive, perhaps due to Shiratorizawa’s location and living on campus, and Ennoshita immediately sent the sleepy setter off to set up the nets outside. He grumbled the whole way, but Ennoshita paid him no mind – he’d probably be fine in an hour or so.

Futakuchi stumbled in moments later, and flopped onto a box being entirely unhelpful. Ennoshita, with narrowed eyes, told him to just start opening everything and folding the boxes into a neat pile to be recycled. Futakuchi started doing so for a while, before he found a box big enough to fit himself inside it, and started playing with that instead.

Terushima came in fifteen minutes later already holding a bunch of party supplies – and Ennoshita just sighed and told him, “Yes. You can do the decorating. Not that we need decorating, but you can do it anyway.”

While they worked, in various states of attentiveness, Ennoshita had to call Yahaba because it was starting to look like the brunet wasn’t going to show up.

“I’m coming!” Yahaba had replied as soon as he picked up the phone, a lot peppier than he sounded over text.

“How long will you be?” Ennoshita asked.

“Soon-ish?”

Ennoshita frowned. “Yahaba, are you styling your hair?”

“It’s natural,” Yahaba insisted. “No. I’m just eating.”

“Come here and eat. I have food.”

“I don’t want your food.”

Yahaba.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!”  


 

ennoway: Akaashi? Update?

veryakaashi: on my way

 

veryakaashi has sent an image.

 

ennoway: cute

ennoway: Hinata will be so happy to see Kenma again

ennoway: Tanaka and Tora too

veryakaashi: what about me?

ennoway: I’ll be happy to see you 

veryakaashi: thanks suffer buddy

ennoway: no problem. Sorry you have to come all this way

veryakaashi: it’s fine

veryakaashi: Tokyo training camp is in a few weeks

veryakaashi: I’ll just pay you back then

ennoway: do your worst!


 

Akaashi watched the scenery passing by outside the window. On the seat opposite, Tora was fast asleep. Fukunaga was fiddling with his phone beside him, and next to Akaashi sat Kenma, engrossed in his own little game world, quietly tapping away.

It was slightly nerve wracking, still, to think that they were being whisked off to Miyagi and it wasn’t with Kuroo or Bokuto leading the way. Akaashi, despite being universally known as somewhat responsible, was feeling both exhilarated and a touch terrified.

Their last experience with Miyagi, without the comfort of a third year (now graduated upperclassmen) by their side, had involved horses and the menace that was Terushima Yuuji and Futakuchi Kenji combined. Not to mention the unending rivalry between Seijou and Shiratorizawa – Akaashi hadn’t thought it could get any worse, but was proven wrong time and time again.

Still, Akaashi felt a sense of unity with the newly risen captains. It was like finding people who understood the same struggles, and were fumbling their way through captaincy despite their own past experience or lack thereof. It really did feel like unity.  

And as their gaze swept to Tora, blissfully out of the loop, they decided that the final piece of the fresh captain squad was going to be theirs to put into place.


 

When the clock hit around 8:30 or so, Ennoshita took his time observing his fellow captains’ work. Everything was more or less set out the way he had planned – okay, maybe there were a lot more streamers than he originally intended, but he could roll with that – and so he clapped his hands together and told the others to scurry off and round up their teams.

It was only then that he had made the call to Tanaka, who in turn called up Nishinoya, and the two were thus in charge of hunting down all of the Karasuno second and first years. Ennoshita called up Narita and Kinoshita as well, but these two were just to help him do final check-ups: read over the match-ups, make sure all the equipment was pumped and ready, sweep the floors for any leftover mess, and anything else that struck his fancy.

Leaving the scene to his third years’ capable hands, he shot off down to the station, ready to greet the Tokyo teams upon their arrival.  


 

“Hey,” Akaashi heard, the moment they and the rest of Fukurodani and Nekoma walked out of the station. Ennoshita had been waiting for them, and was waving from his spot against a wall.

“Hey.” Akaashi greeted.

“ENNOSHITA!” Yamamoto shouted from behind, leaping forward to shake Karasuno’s captain’s hand. “Long time no see!”

“It’s been a while,” He agreed. “Come on. You guys had two hours to rest up. It’s time to get active.”

“Yeah! I’m pumped!” Yamamoto shouted again, and Kenma flinched at the volume. “Everyone! Get over here! We’re heading to Karasuno now! Time to pound some Miyagi teams into the dust!”

“Same as usual?” Ennoshita asked Akaashi with a quiet but amused murmur.

Akaashi sighed. “Same as usual.”


 

Back at Karasuno, things were growing hectic.

Thanks to Ennoshita’s careful planning, the first few matches were supposed to be casualty-free, but already, with Terushima and Shirabu facing down; he could tell there was nothing he could do to prevent any imminent deaths.

He ushered the Tokyo teams to the side, got them to store away their luggage and get changed, and hurried out to check on the current matches with Coach Ukai.

“They started already?” Ennoshita asked, waving his hand at Johzenji and Shiratorizawa.

“Couldn’t wait.” Ukai sighed. “Everyone’s been eyeing down Shiratorizawa for a while, so Terushima decided he would lighten up the mood by challenging them to a match. It’s just a coincidence that they were supposed to play each other first.”

Ennoshita nodded in understanding. He had written Johzenji up against Shiratorizawa, and Seijou up against Datekou to start off – because the Tokyo teams still needed to stretch and prepare. One starting earlier than the other was no big deal. They’d just play until time was up, anyway.

He told Ukai to let Yahaba and Futakuchi (as well as their respective coaches) know that they could start playing as soon as they were ready. Karasuno would start off doing drills, because Ennoshita liked to make his team suffer.

Just kidding.

Ennoshita had planned to set Karasuno up against each other to begin with, and their second round would be played against Seijou. However, this plan was currently not happening because Hinata had run off the moment he saw Kenma, Tanaka and Nishinoya had dived off to greet Yamamoto, and Tsukishima was slowly inching away from an all-too-enthusiastic Lev.

Kageyama and Yamaguchi stood awkwardly to the side, joined by Seijou’s Kyoutani and Datekou’s Aone, but none of them were engaging in conversation. The Karasuno first years were standing, stock still, staring at Shiratorizawa and Johzenji’s match.

Ennoshita, wondering why his team was so easily distracted, decided he would simply leave them be for now.


 

After the first bout of hesitance, the games picked up quickly. Akaashi found that they no longer worried about where people were, or how the teams from Miyagi were perceiving them – the only focus the setter had was on their team and their team alone.

It was almost a completely reformed team too – the Fukurodani starting team of last year had graduated, five out of the total seven of them – so the only person Akaashi had played with for a good solid year was in fact, Onaga, and the two of them did their best to fire up their team in their own way.

Akaashi shook hands with all the Miyagi captains they’d spoken to – Yahaba, Futakuchi, Terushima, Shirabu, and of course, Ennoshita – and it felt truly like all the pieces came together. They were still on opposite sides of the court but there was no animosity between them; maybe a flirty wink from Terushima and a good solid grip from Shirabu, but that was how it was always going to be.

The thrill of volleyball came shooting up Akaashi’s hands, and they knew everything was going to be alright.


 

Of course, Ennoshita had never explicitly stated that there would be a metric ton of food, but as with all unannounced things, somebody had figured it out and word had spread, and basically food was everywhere.

And it was to be expected, really, but amidst all the big eaters consuming their weight in rice and meat and fish, the captains somehow ended up all in one place.

“Shirabu, behind you, Kenji’s trying to steal your food,” Terushima pointed out. When Futakuchi shot him a look of utter betrayal, Terushima just cackled and popped a skewer of meat into his mouth, biting down with vigor.

“Get your own,” Shirabu growled, shuffling away from Futakuchi’s chopsticks. “You could stab someone in the eye with those.”

“I’m a very careful person,” Futakuchi blatantly lied, as he shut his eyes and accidentally elbowed Yahaba in an attempt to cross his arms. He pouted and used both his hands to shove at Seijou’s setter. “Yahaba, get out of my way.”

“I’m not in your way!” Yahaba protested, looking indignant. “You’re the one that –”

“Now, now,” Yamamoto interjected, a heavy pat on both their backs. “Why argue when there’s food? Go eat, and fight later!”

“Why isn’t he in our group chat?” Ennoshita whispered to Akaashi, only just realizing this crucial detail.

Akaashi paused, a slice of meat halfway to their mouth. “He doesn’t have skype.”

“Tell him to get one.”

“I did. He doesn’t see the point.”

Ennoshita frowned. “You can be very convincing. Do you think you can make him get one?”

Akaashi looked contemplative, then bit down on the meat and hummed. “Sure.”

In the distance, Shirabu was chasing Yahaba who was chasing Futakuchi, and Yamamoto looked sorely impressed. Terushima had begun to collect skewers and stick them together with whatever he could find. Ennoshita didn’t want to know what he was up to so he didn’t ask.


 

ennoway: what a day!

ennoway: ready for Sunday?

veryakaashi: no

teru-chan: Y E S

yahabasanchan: shiratorizawa better watch their back

shirabunbun: loser

futacchi: let datekou win

ennoway: you can’t just say that futakuchi

futacchi: it’s for good luck

futacchi: you don’t know me, you don’t know my life

ennoway: let datekou lose

yahabasanchan: seconded

shirabunbun: seconded

shirabunbun: fuck

yahabasanchan: hahaha bye

futacchi: why must you all attack me like this


 

The games went harder on Sunday; the competitive spirit rising with every win and every loss. Even though it was all in good fun, the scores were drafted carefully and meticulously, as every team fought for the top.

Sweating and heaving, they played game after game, punctuated by playful jabs at other teams and overall merriment; combined with their love of the sport. Even the managers got into the spirit, and collectively played a little mini game off to the side – perhaps to the distraction of many, but Ennoshita was glad at least his own team had their eyes on the ball the entire time.  

In the end, it was Nekoma that came out victorious – to which Yamamoto hollered – and as Nekoma’s captain, he started to thank every single person they had played against over the entirety of the weekend. He managed to drag Fukunaga along with him, as Kenma dashed off to escape, and the two Nekoma third years made their rounds; Yamamoto yelling and Fukunaga nodding in encouragement.

The Tokyo teams had to take the train back home at 4, so lunch was an intense celebratory affair.

For whatever bizarre reason, Terushima and Futakuchi tag-teamed to kick off a wheelbarrow race; but after a few moments of observation, Ennoshita decided that he absolutely did not want to know how it was turning out.

Members from Johzenji were dogpiling, and Futakuchi grabbed his teammate Pantalons to try and knock them all down.

Ennoshita took his place beside Akaashi, watching the other with a pensive smile.

“Are you glad you came?” He asked. “I know it’s different. Not having Bokuto. Not having Daichi is weird for me, too.” He looked over at his underclassmen, stuffing their faces. “Not having Sugawara there to assure us everything is going to be okay. Not having Asahi there to rely on, and to worry about things so we don’t have to. It’s weird. Different.”  

“It is different.” Akaashi answered, but it wasn’t sad. “It’s not like they’re actually gone though. Did I ever tell you the adventures of Kuroo and Bokuto after they finally graduated? If anything, they missed us more than we missed them.”

“God, do I want to know?” Ennoshita laughed. “But you’re right. I guess I’m thinking too much. It’s weird being captain. You tend to think a lot more.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” A smile graced Akaashi’s lips as the setter gestured pointedly to the Johzenji-Datekou dogpile, crowned by their respective captains and being yelled at by Yahaba. Shirabu looked like he wanted to kick the pile of people, but wanted to remain cool and composed at the same time, so he ended up just glowering at them all with his fists clenched until Yahaba started to yell at him, too.

“You’re right.” Ennoshita said with a roll of his eyes, but flicking out his phone to take a well-framed shot of the scene anyway. “Forget I even said anything.”


 

teru-chan: good shit today

teru-chan: my soul has ascended

futacchi: is it because Akaashi touched your hand when he gave you a ball

teru-chan: no

teru-chan: maybe

teru-chan: I saw u skirting around u know who

teru-chan: wanna tell me about that? ;)

futacchi: haha no

yahabasanchan: ooohhh does futakuchi have a crush on somebody???

futacchi: butt out yahaba

yahabasanchan: you get to poke fun at me all the time but you never tell me anything

ennoway: give him time, Yahaba

yahabasanchan: aren’t you curious???

ennoway: he’ll tell when he wants to tell

futacchi: thanks ennoshita

ennoway: no problem!

ennoway: now I’m exhausted so I’m going to sleep for a whole week

ennoway: see you guys next time

veryakaashi: I’m going to sleep too good night everyone

futacchi: good night

yahabasanchan: sweet dreams

teru-chan: good night! think of me!

shirabunbun: weak

futacchi: shirabu go to sleep


 

yahabasanchan: ok but

shirabunbun: oh no

shirabunbun: don’t even finish that sentence

shirabunbun: every time you want to say something you think is hash tag relatable you always start with ‘ok but’ and I have had enough of this  

veryakaashi: ‘hash tag relatable’  

shirabunbun: I do not appreciate this

yahabasanchan: you know what fine I’ll tell you something else then

yahabasanchan: I lo

shirabunbun: yes, you love Oikawa, we know, you love Oikawa so much, he’s the light of your life, you love him so much, you just love Oikawa Tooru, we KNOW, you love Oikawa you fucking love Oikawa ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE OIKAWA. WE GET IT.

yahabasanchan: lost my phone*

yahabasanchan: what the fuck did you just have that saved somewhere

yahabasanchan: ready and waiting??? who even does that???

yahabasanchan: shirabu, why are you so obsessed with me?

shirabunbun: stop making it all about you

shirabunbun: it’s not all about you

yahabasanchan: fight me

shirabunbun: I would but you’d lose

veryakaashi: why have we made 0 progress from when we started

futacchi: I know right

futacchi: let’s all just take a knife

yahabasanchan: WHY A KNIFE

futacchi: take a knife

futacchi: and cut a slice of cake to share between the two of you because violence is never the answer

shirabunbun: cheapskate I want a full slice

futacchi: cut two slices of cake because shirabu doesn’t like sharing

futacchi: and because violence is never the answer

shirabunbun: I want the whole cake

futacchi: DON’T BE GREEDY

shirabunbun: I happen to be desiring the perfect amount of cake for somebody in my situation

futacchi: what situation??? can you even eat a whole cake by yourself???

shirabunbun: is that a challenge

yahabasanchan: oh my god shirabu NO

yahabasanchan: you’re gonna be sick!!

shirabunbun: in the words of many before me

shirabunbun: go hard or go home

yahabasanchan: SHIRABU NO

futacchi: I’M

futacchi: SHIRABU I WAS JOKING

veryakaashi: let shirabu live

yahabasanchan: oh god he’s gonna be so sick

futacchi: if anyone asks, it wasn’t me


 

futacchi: has anyone heard from shirabu it’s been 12 hours

ennoway: futakuchi what did you do

futacchi: nothing!!!! yahaba can vouch for me

yahabasanchan: futakuchi made shirabu go and eat an entire cake and he hasn’t responded for the last 12 hours

futacchi: YOU SNITCH

ennoway: okay does anyone want to go and make sure he’s still alive

veryakaashi: I’ll go

ennoway: akaashi, you are the furthest away and thus the least helpful person here

veryakaashi: oh

ennoway: futakuchi? yahaba?

futacchi: I’m too young to die

yahabasanchan: UGH FINE I’LL GO

futacchi: thank you kind yahaba for sparing my soul I will offer you a slice of cake for your efforts

yahabasanchan: I’m not doing it for you


 

shirabunbun: I’m fine

yahabasanchan: he’s not fine he’s lying on the floor and kawanishi looks uncharacteristically horrified


 

futacchi: I hate to say it but he did that to himself

futacchi: I didn’t tell him to do anything

shirabunbun: I’m fine

yahabasanchan: out of spite he got the biggest cake he could find

veryakaashi: dear lord


 

teru-chan: kenjirou parties hard

teru-chan: I can respect that

ennoway: I’m so very concerned right now


 

shirabunbun: seriously I’m fine. I win

futacchi: I’m not even mad

yahabasanchan: I’m giving this one to shirabu

yahabasanchan: he did his best

shirabunbun: fuck you I did more than my best

futacchi: NO NO NO

futacchi: NO FIGHTING

futacchi: WE ARE NOT GOING THROUGH TO ROUND TWO

yahabasanchan: I’ll fight futakuchi then

futacchi: come at me bro


 

veryakaashi: guess who finally got skype after weeks of me passive aggressively sending texts that just read ‘the bitch club wants you’ over and over again

futacchi: akaashi… that was oddly specific

yahabasanchan: ok but

yahabasanchan: when does passive aggressive start becoming actually aggressive because I think you’ve crossed the line a bit there

veryakaashi: it’s okay I have experience dealing with his type

veryakaashi: the more direct the better

veryakaashi: now say hello

veryakaashi: to the one

veryakaashi: and only

 

veryakaashi has added GOODMAN to the conversation.

 

veryakaashi: captain of nekoma high

veryakaashi: yamamoto taketora

veryakaashi: here he is

GOODMAN: DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER ME

futacchi: A GOOD MAN HAS JOINED US

teru-chan: GOOD MAN GOOD MAN GOOD MAN

GOODMAN: I LIKE IT HERE ALREADY

veryakaashi: you’ll regret those words

shirabunbun: nice to meet you again

GOODMAN: IT’S GREAT TO SEE YOU SHIRABUNBUN!!!!

shirabunbun: I guess

shirabunbun: why are you shouting

GOODMAN: THIS IS HOW I LIKE TO TYPE

shirabunbun: calm down

GOODMAN: I AM HAPPY WITH THIS DEVELOPMENT

yahabasanchan: tora!! Hello!

GOODMAN: OHHHH IT’S YAHABASANCHAN!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!

yahabasanchan: how are you???

GOODMAN: I’M GOOD MAN

futacchi: since when were you so friendly with each other

GOODMAN: OH FUTACCHI!!!! ARENT YOU THE TALL ANNOYING ONE THAT KENMA HATES

GOODMAN: DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT

futacchi: ok first of all

GOODMAN: I WILL FIGHT YOU!!!!

futacchi: violence is never the answer

GOODMAN: WHAT’S A FEW FISTS BETWEEN MEN

teru-chan: omfg

teru-chan: good man you are a good man

teru-chan: a very good man

teru-chan: we’re gonna be the best of friends

GOODMAN: THANK YOU TERU-CHAN MAN

GOODMAN: YOU ARE A VERY GOOD MAN

GOODMAN: THAT RHYMED AWESOME

shirabunbun: you can’t rhyme man with man that’s awful

GOODMAN: ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY SICK RHYMING SKILLS

GOODMAN: I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW

GOODMAN: MY MOTHER IS VERY PROUD OF MY BRILLIANT POETRY

teru-chan: don’t listen to him tora he’s wrong!!

teru-chan: ur rhymes are rad as hell

veryakaashi: you know what

veryakaashi: why did I think this was a good idea

GOODMAN: THANK YOU TERU-CHAN

GOODMAN: WHAT DID YOU SAY VERYAKAASHI???

GOODMAN: DON’T YOU MEAN… BEST IDEA

veryakaashi: can you please not refer to us by screenname

GOODMAN: WHY DID YOU SET IT AS YOUR NAME

GOODMAN: IF YOU DON’T WANT IT TO BE YOUR NAME

 

futacchi has changed teru-chan’s name to my boyfriend.

 

my boyfriend: high to the five, kenji

futacchi: anytime

GOODMAN: WHY IS TERU-CHAN MY BOYFRIEND NOW

my boyfriend: good question!! when did we start dating, babe?

GOODMAN: I’M CONFUSED

GOODMAN: MY NAME ISN’T BABE

my boyfriend: ur not gonna deny that we’re dating? ;)

GOODMAN: WHAT

GOODMAN: I’M NOT DATING ANYONE

GOODMAN: IF I WAS DATING SOMEBODY I WOULD KNOW

ennoway: Yamamoto

GOODMAN: ENNOWAY

GOODMAN: YES WHAT IS IT

ennoway: welcome to hell and I'm so, so sorry