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What we miss

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Sam knew he was being a little bit ridiculous but, well, this was kind of a ridiculous situation. He checked the room three times before he settled on the bed and reached for the remote. It wasn’t like he was actually expecting Gabriel to be hiding in his drawer but on the other hand he really didn’t want to explain what he was about to do. He’d throw up some angel warding if that wasn’t a guaranteed way to have Gabriel back here in under a minute.

The thing was, he loved Gabriel. He did. It had been a long and difficult road for both of them before he could say that but, now, he could. He loved Gabriel. He didn’t get Gabriel half the time, often wasn’t sure what Gabriel was doing with him of all people, but he loved him all the same. He loved him and he was committed to him and he’d never, ever want anyone else again.

Only that was a complete lie. He loved Gabriel, of course, but he couldn’t help but want. Not in any kind of real sense, of course. He’d never bring anyone home but sometimes a pretty waitress or someone would wink and him and he’d remember breasts and hips and soft wet heat and he LOVED Gabriel but he was bisexual and the majority of his partners had been women and sometimes he just missed that.

He turned on the TV and flipped to the porn channels. He knew it was pretty weird that heterosexual porn was his guilty pleasure but if he couldn’t sleep with a woman in real life (and he couldn’t), this would have to do.

He checked a few channels and settled on one with a brunet with a sly smile. He liked the smile, it almost reminded him of Gabriel’s. He’d joined in half way through the action and he watched intently as she started going down on the guy on the screen. He wished he could reach out and touch, feel. He bet she felt great, smelt great. He’d eat her out, spread her open and go to town before he fucked her. He’d kiss her breasts, bury his face between them. Damn he missed breasts.

He was getting hard now so he opened his pants, slipping his hand in and trying to ignore the curl of shame that came with doing this. He wasn’t cheating on Gabriel. He wasn’t. It was just...it was stress relief and it was the one thing Gabriel couldn’t do for him.

On the screen the women moved to straddle the man and his eyes fixed on the dip of her back, the curve of her hips. He wanted to run his hands down her side, hold her hips and help her fuck him.

“So, this is what you do when I’m not around,” Gabriel said, and Sam pulled his hand off his dick so fast he nearly got whiplash. He turned to find Gabriel standing by the nightstand watching the TV with a sly smile. He’d been right, it did look just like the one the girl on the TV used. “And here I thought I was enough angel for one man.”

“You are,” Sam said quickly. “I mean, I’m not...I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” Gabriel asked, raising an eyebrow. “Jesus, Sammy. It’s just porn. Lighten up.”

“I know it is,” Sam replied, blushing. He moved discreetly to tuck himself back in his pants but Gabriel didn’t seem to mind, moving round to stare at the TV.

“You know, in the right light she kind of looks like me as a girl, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Sam admitted, zipping himself up. “I’d noticed that. You want to go do something else now?”

“No, this is good,” Gabriel said with a shrug. “It’s kind of fun to watch you get all flustered. Don’t you want to finish what you started? We haven’t watched porn together before, it could be a new thing for us.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Sam found himself asking before he could stop himself. He had always been the kind to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Why should it?” Gabriel asked with a shrug. “It’s not like you’re bringing people home, that’s the kind of thing you need permission for first. This is just you and the TV and a chick who looks a bit like me. Or is that it, are you apologising for the chick thing?”

“A little,” Sam admitted. “I mean, yeah. I’m happy with you, you’re awesome...but sometimes I miss breasts is all.”

“Why didn’t you just say?” Gabriel asked, shaking his head. And then a second later a woman stood in Gabriel’s place. Same height, same hair colour though a little longer, same golden eyes and same smile. Fuck. “You know, if you’re going to date a cosmic being you might as well get some of the benefits, right?”

“Yes,” Sam agreed, though somehow his tone made it sound more like “Please”. He reached and Gabriel laughed, stepping into his arms and reaching up to hook his...her...arms around his neck. Her breasts pressed against him as he allowed his hands to run down her sides as he leant down to kiss her and this was perfect, she was perfect: like a wet dream made real.

And this was wrong, so very wrong. Gabriel was brilliant as he was, he shouldn’t have to alter himself just because Sam wanted to screw a woman. He should just...be himself. Sam pulled away, ignoring the pained sound Gabriel made.

“No, look, it’s fine. Just turn back and we can carry on, alright?”

“Turn back?” Gabriel asked, frowning, and damn but that frown looked cute on her...him...right now. “Come on Sam, don’t let me down now. It’s been years since I got fucked as a girl, about time I tried it out again.”

“You’ve done this before?” Sam asked, and he must look confused because Gabriel laughed at him, leaning in close again.

“Sam, I was Loki. Don’t you read your Norse mythology? I mean, it’s not entirely accurate but I did once turn myself in to a female horse specifically to seduce a male horse.”

“Yeah, that visual’s really not turning me one,” Sam muttered, trying to step back but Gabriel followed him, arms wrapping around him like steel bands.

“Alright, not that one then but yeah, I’ve been a woman before and slept with men. I’ve lived a long time, Sammy. There aren’t many things I haven’t tried, though humanity does keep surprising me with how inventive it can get about sex. This, though, this is nothing. Now are you going to throw me down and have your wicked way with me or not?”

“I just...I don’t want you to think you need to change to make me happy,” Sam admitted, blushing. “I love you.”

“Aww Sammy,” Gabriel said, pressing in close again. “I love you too but you’re kind of missing the point. I do have to change to make you happy as my true form would blind you and I don’t think that’d be a great step in our little love affair. My body...it’s just a vessel, Sam. I mean, I like my vessel. I’ve been in it a long time, I’m used to it, but it’s like your favourite pair of jeans. Comfortable and familiar but it doesn’t mean you can never try new jeans in a different style. Besides, this is the same vessel. Same car, different paint job but you can still drive it. I genuinely don’t care, I just really want to get fucked soon.”

“You’re sure?” Sam asked, leaning in closer. Gabriel gave him a bored look that just about ended that discussion and Sam leant in with a grin, capturing her lips again. He couldn’t get any permission more explicit than that so maybe it was time to enjoy it.

Gabriel in this form was just as responsive as Gabriel in his regular form so Sam had to trust he was enjoying it just as much. He practically climbed Sam and Sam was happy to help, reaching down to cup his ass. Gabriel was always eager but he seemed more so right now. Sam got that, but he had plans.

“Come on, Sammy,” Gabriel moaned, locking his ankles behind his back. “Thought you wanted to experience this body.”

“I do,” Sam laughed. “I have plans.”

“I like plans,” Gabriel agreed, and suddenly they were very naked and very close. “Can we talk about the plan where you fuck me?”

“Later,” Sam said, turning and dumping Gabriel on the bed. He looked up, annoyed, and Sam laughed. “Right now, I want to take my time with you.”

“Oh, it’s going to be one of those nights, is it?” Gabriel asked with a sigh, letting himself go boneless against the covers.

“Don’t pretend you don’t love it,” Sam laughed. “Besides, you changed into a girl just for me, it’d be rude not to show my appreciation.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Gabriel asked but Sam was already in action. He ran his hands up her sides again, then along her shoulders, marvelling at all the subtle ways this body was different from the one he normally took to bed while still being so essentially Gabriel. He leant over to kiss a trail along her collar bone and she moaned for him, throwing back her head. She knew where this was going, knew Sam’s intention to explore. He’d never been shy about doing this with her male vessel.

He reached up and palmed her breasts, rubbing them gently and Gabriel made an approving noise for him. He kept his touch soft, he knew Gabriel appreciated things a little rough but not tonight. Tonight he wanted to be soft, to be gentle.

“Sammy,” Gabriel grumbled, and Sam knew it was intended as a warning but he ignored it. Gabriel might see it as a change of clothes, Sam saw it as a gift and he intended to make the most of it.

He kissed a trail down between Gabriel’s breasts then let go of one, bringing his hand down to the curve of her hip instead, so he could kiss the breast then up to her nipple which he grazed gently with his teeth, making her whine and squirm before sucking which made Gabriel cry out, hands coming down to thread through Sam’s hair. Gabriel had always had spectacularly sensitive nipples and Sam was almost inclined to try to test the theory that you could make a women come just by playing with her breasts but not tonight.

He swapped breasts, careful to show the same attention to each. He loved the feel of them, the softness you didn’t get with a man’s chest. He loved the breathy little sounds Gabriel made, the way she squirmed under him. It was amazing.

He drew back finally, taking a second to look at Gabriel who didn’t look half as put together now, laying back on the bed panting. She looked at him and grinned and the body might be different but there was no way he could forget who he was with when smiles like that were directed at him.

“Guess you really did miss breasts,” Gabriel said, “We should have done this forever ago.”

“Yeah, we should,” Sam agreed, then he continued down. He rubbed circles into her stomach, following them with gentle kisses. He almost missed the trail Gabriel had but it wasn’t like he didn’t know where he was going and he needed a path to follow. It was just nice, the scratch of hair he could rub his cheek against as he followed it down. Instead he kissed his way down Gabriel’s soft, bare stomach to something else he’d really been missing.

Gabriel was unshaven, which wasn’t surprising. He liked that in a woman, liked the feel of it against his cheeks, liked to twist his fingers in it which he did now, pulling gently and making Gabriel gasp. He moved his other hand around to cup her ass, as perfect in this form as it was when she was a man, and moved to pressing kisses on her inner thighs. He loved how she tasted, how she moaned, how she gasped and moved against him. She was wet already and he loved that he could do that, loved everything about this.

“Sam,” Gabriel gasped, throwing a leg over his shoulder and trying to use it to pull him closer. “Please.”

“I’m getting there,” Sam assured her, taking his fingers from her hair and moving his other hand so both of them were grabbing her ass, lifting her up a little so he could see her.

Most of the women he had slept with got a little embarrassed when he wanted to look at them like this. Gabriel was as shameless as this as in everything, spreading her beautiful thighs to let him see. She was wet already, wet and pink and ready for him. He studied her, looked at her. He mapped the folds of her, made a plan in his mind for what he was going to do with her. She was gorgeous here, he’d missed this part far too much.

“Sammy,” she said, and it was a warning this time. The leg hooked down his back was getting more insistent and he chucked, finally leaning in and letting himself go to town.

He knew Dean would laugh his ass off if he ever heard Sam say it but he loved eating women out. He loved the feel and the taste of it. He loved learning a women with his mouth and with his hands, feeling the different ways he could draw pleasure from her like this. He got hard just thinking about it and he was definitely hard now, buried between Gabriel’s legs, but this wasn’t about him.

He slid his hand down and opened her up with his fingers, sucking at her lips as he did, then buried his tongue inside her, exploring and tasting and he wished he could do this all day, feeling the way she moved against him and the sounds that fell from her lips. Gabriel was a vocal lover at all times and he loved it, loved knowing the effect he had.

He pulled away, replacing his mouth with his fingers and freeing himself to kiss back up her body and lick the sounds from her mouth, kissing her slow and open and dirty as she whined against him. He bent a little to rub his cock against her thighs, grasping himself at the feel of it, then moved back down again, making sure to properly take care of her breasts before getting back to what he most wanted. He spread her thighs wide and dove in, licking and kissing and pressing as deep in as he could then retracting. He kissed down her thighs to the back of her knees, which he found were just as sensitive now as always, then back over her thighs again, stopping to suck bruises into the soft flesh, and down again to her lips and her clit and he could tell she was close now. Gabriel was never very good at holding himself back.

“Please, Sammy,” she gasped, and she sounded completely wrecked. He almost wanted to draw back, to tease and to make this last but he couldn’t deny her anything when she was like this.

He brought his fingers in again, twisting them inside her as he sucked and kissed at what he could reach as she fell in to orgasm, gasping and crying out and flexing around him and it was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen. He loved that he could reduce Gabriel, an archangel, to this with only his fingers and his mouth.

When she was done she collapsed back, spent, finally falling silent and Sam finally let himself pay real attention to his own hardness. He moved up, rubbing himself against her thighs, against her belly, the crease of her hip, then sliding down over her vulva. She moaned a little at that and he gasped, still so wet and warm. He managed a few shallow thrusts over her before he was coming, adding to the mess she’d already made of the sheets.

One of the many advantages of sleeping with Gabriel was that Gabriel could easily hold his weight so there was no rush to extract himself, to pull away. Instead he lay over her, enjoying the feel of her below him as he came down from his orgasm. Gabriel eventually rolled him over, throwing herself across his chest and burying her face in his neck like usual.

“Who the hell taught you to do that?” she asked. “I want to give them an award or something.”

“Lots of people,” Sam yawned. “I enjoy it.”

“You sure do,” Gabriel agreed. “We’re so doing this again. I mean, not that I don’t like you sucking my cock but Sam, that was pretty damn awesome.”

“Thank you,” Sam grinned. “I try my best. So, tell me, which is better? Female orgasm or male?”

“You know, I could transform you so you could answer that yourself,” Gabriel said with a sly grin and Sam couldn’t help but laugh.

“Maybe later. I think I’m good with what I’ve got for now.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel said, holding him a little tighter. “Me too.”