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Give Me Envy, Give Me Malice, Give Me Your Attention

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Teddy threads his fingers through my hair, grasping and pulling as he looks down at me worshipfully. His cock is hot and heavy in my mouth, and salt bursts against my tongue as a steady stream of pre-come leaks from his slit.

“Fuck, Scorpius,” Teddy groans, his head banging against the bathroom wall.

I peer up at him from beneath lowered lashes, my tongue massaging the swollen head of his prick while my hand steadily wanks him. He’s chewing his lip, fighting to keep his voice down even as gasps and moans escape his mouth. It wouldn’t do to get caught, hidden away in the third floor bathroom at the Burrow while all the Potters and Weasleys celebrate Rose’s promotion downstairs. I wouldn’t want the family below to overhear Teddy and my activities when they were so kind to invite me to their party (well I wouldn’t mind if one particular Potter overheard).

I swallow Teddy’s length, suppressing a gag when the tip of his prick hits the back of my throat. I’m usually quite adept at deepthroating but, admittedly, Teddy has a monster cock. Teddy doesn’t seem to mind though. His eyes are squeezed shut, and incomprehensible words are spilling from his lips. His body trembles and with a shout he’s coming, his release flooding my mouth. A bit escapes from my lips, the warm seed clinging to my chin, but Teddy swipes his thumb over the spot before sticking it into his mouth and sucking it clean.

“Who knew my dear cousin was so good at sucking cock?” Teddy’s eyes are full of mirth, his lips spreading into a grin.

“Well, Teddy,” I reply, stretching to my feet and reaching for the door knob. “I’m full of surprises.”

I feel his eyes on me the second we re-join the party. I can sense him taking in my swollen lips, my messy hair, and Teddy’s flushed face. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what we’ve been up to, and Albus is no idiot.

I offer Rose my congratulations, giving her a charming smile and ignoring Albus as he seethes across the room. I glance over and watch his jaw tighten, his fingers wrapped so tightly around a bottle of beer his knuckles are turning white. His eyes flash with anger before they look resolutely away. I harden my heart and walk to the kitchen to grab another drink. What right does he have to look so angry when he was the one who turned me down? I want to feel elation at the envy that radiates from him, rejoice in showing him exactly what he’s missing. I don’t. As much as I wish I could believe his jealousy indicates some deeper feeling, I know it’s just petty possessiveness. The lingering pleasant flavour of Teddy’s come in my mouth fades, replaced with a gripping bitterness. I take a large gulp from my beer and try to wash away the taste.

~*~

“Shit, Scorpius.”

I don’t think I had ever seen Albus look quite so stricken before. I had anticipated some surprise—it had been over a year since we first started sleeping together and I had never brought this up before. However, I hadn’t thought he would look like someone had killed his favourite crup. It’s not exactly the expression you would hope for when you’re telling your best friend you’re in love with him.

“I’m sorry if I've made things weird, but I’ve felt this way for a while. We spend almost every night together and… well, I want to make this official.”

I waited patiently for a response but Albus just stood there, his mouth pulled into an anxious grimace and lips sealed shut. I could already feel my heart crumbling in my chest. After so long together, weren’t we practically dating anyway? True, we never labelled ourselves as boyfriends and Albus had never been one for public displays of affection, but I couldn’t be the only one feeling this way. We spent almost every day together, and even sometimes talked about getting a flat together. Ever since our first time together, almost a year ago now, we spent most nights in bed, fucking in every position imaginable and bringing each other to euphoric heights.

“Do you not feel the same?” I was proud that my voice didn’t shake.

“Scorpius.” Albus ran his hands through his thick, messy hair. “I don’t believe in relationships and all that commitment rubbish. It ruins everything.”

“I see.” My voice was still steady, but the same could not be said for my legs.

“I figured we were just messing around, no strings attached.” Albus tried and failed for a playful smile. “We’re just having fun.”

“Just messing around? What, you thought we were having a casual fling for over a year?”

“It’s just sex,” Albus replied, his eyes fixed on the ground.

“Have you been fucking other people?” I could feel my throat closing up.

“Scorpius, come—”

“Nevermind,” I quickly cut him off. “I don’t want to know.”

The silence between us grew, becoming dark and heartbreaking and final.

“We can still—”

“No, we can’t,” I said fiercely.

“Don’t be like that.” Albus put on his charming smile again. “Why don’t we just keep this casual and open, you know? What we have is good, don’t ruin it because of a silly misunderstanding. ”

“Misunderstanding?” My voice filled with venom, and I saw Albus swallow nervously. “This isn't a misunderstanding. I love you and you obviously don’t feel the same. We can't just keep fucking. Merlin Al, how selfish can you be?”

“Scorpius.” Finally some remorse crosses his face. “Listen, it’s just—”

“No, I get it. Open and casual. You’ve got it.”

I walked away quickly, shutting my ears to any attempts to call me back. My speed increased until I was nearly running, feet slapping against the pavement and blood rushing through my head. I couldn’t bear to hear him say my name in that voice again, but really, I couldn’t face the crushing fact he likely wasn’t shouting after me at all.

~*~

I’ve had far too much to drink. I can tell by the way the music travels through my body and pulses in my head, the other men on the dance floor becoming warm, energetic blurs. I can see Louis clearly, though; his pretty strawberry-blond hair glowing under the lights, full pink lips curving into a beckoning smile. His body is hot and firm against mine, grinding to the music on the crowded dance floor.

Albus is here, of course—it is one of our favourite clubs. He’s moodily drinking a cocktail at the bar, eyes glued to Louis and I as we surrender to the music and the alcohol pumping through our veins. I allow myself one last peek at Albus’s frowning face before I return my full attention to Louis and the welcoming heat of his body. He removed his shirt at some point and his toned chest begs to be touched, eager for my hands to glide over those taut muscles. Perhaps it’s the Veela blood in him, but I find myself compelled.

His mouth is wet against my neck and he bites and sucks my exposed throat in time with the pounding bass. It feels good, so good, and I arch into his touch, moaning with relief when my stiff cock rubs against his equally hard prick.

I’m lost in sensation, hands grabbing at his arse and grinding myself further against his cock, his firm thigh, any part of his body. The heat builds between us, his fingers digging into my flesh and I couldn't give a damn about the rest of the dance floor. All that exists in this moment is the building pleasure in my body, the hard length pressed against mine, the sloppy kisses that taste like rum and sugar. I feel Louis shudder against me and I surge into him once, twice before my own release is pulled from me. My cock pulses in the confines of my pants and my head swims as my surroundings slowly fade back.

The music plays on, men dancing and grinding and paying no mind to the two of us recovering our breaths. The wetness in my jeans spreads, becoming sticky and uncomfortable, and suddenly I’d rather be anywhere but here. The bass vibrates harshly through my body and the alcohol turns violently in my stomach. My mind unwilling wanders to Albus and I can’t help but wonder what he thought of our little show.

When I look back at the bar, Albus is gone.

~*~

The first time we kissed it was an accident. A mere brushing of lips after too much whisky and a long night of bar hopping. Neither of us could deny the sparks flowing between us and traveling through our bodies. I had been adamant, though, and Albus had agreed; our friendship was too important to risk for a fleeting physical reaction.

Our vow didn’t last long, though. We had graduated from Hogwarts just the year before and I missed sharing a dorm with Albus and seeing him on a daily basis. I was overjoyed, of course, when only a couple of weeks later Albus invited me over for the holidays—the same as every year—except that this time all the spare rooms were filled to the max, and Al and I been forced to share a bed. It’s not as if we hadn't dealt with that before—Albus had such a huge family and space was always sparse for the holidays—but now everything had changed.

I couldn’t even pretend I was trying to sleep, not with Albus so close, the heat of his body spreading across the mattress. He shuffled a bit, feigning a yawn as if he had been trying to get comfortable. I was already rock hard when he pressed against my back, his stiff cock rubbing against my arse. I rolled over slowly, my eyes sweeping over his flushed face and eager but shy grin, and there was no use for it. My hand slipped into his pajama bottoms, gripping his hot prick and tugging on it roughly. He had bit his lip fiercely, trying so hard to be quiet as his hand wrapped around my own cock, matching my strokes. We built up our speed, swallowing each other’s moans with wet, sloppy kisses until it was all too much and I was spilling my release all over his fist. He panted raggedly against my neck and with a twist of my wrist he was coming too, sticky seed clinging to my fingers.

Albus had looked so happy then, so sated and sleepy, my heart swelled at his blissful expression. After a quick cleaning spell he was asleep in an instant, snoring softly with the covers wrapped tightly around him. And I, despite myself, stayed awake for a while longer, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slept.

~*~

Mr Potter is always considerate, but not very observant, and he graciously invites me to James’s surprise birthday party. He hasn’t noticed that Albus and I hardly speak anymore and haven’t hung out in weeks.

I still go, of course, delighting in the uncomfortable way Albus’s body shifts when I arrive. Frustration is radiating off of him in waves and I can taste the tension across the Potter's modest living room. Albus makes it a good spenty minutes, filled with irritated glares and angry fidgeting, before he stalks over to me.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just having fun.” I offer him my most sincere smile.

“You’re being spiteful,” he bites out.

“Don’t take it so personal, Al.” I do my best to keep the hurt out of my voice. “Why do you even care?”

“I don’t,” he answers darkly.

Charlie is standing across the room, cracking open another beer and laughing at some joke George just made. I am thrilled to discover he's here, my mouth going dry as I take in his rugged stubble and the intricate tattoos twisting up his exposed arms. I catch his eye and hold up my beer in his direction in a silent cheers.

“Don’t,” Albus warns me tightly.

“I’m just being free.” I finish my beer in one, large gulp and set the empty bottle on a nearby table. “Like you wanted me to be.”

I follow Charlie up the stairs and wait outside the bathroom. He seems startled to find me waiting for him, though not overly surprised—I have been eyefucking him all night. I’ve never been with an older man—I usually find myself more attracted to blokes my own age—but Charlie is utterly intriguing. He’s sexy and mysterious and I wonder what it might feel like to surrender my body into his large, capable hands.

His eyes are glazed with approval as I run my hand down his arm, circling my fingers around his wrist. It’s easy enough to pull him into an empty bedroom, but once I go in for a kiss he’s a bit more resistant.

“Wait.” Charlie grabs me by the shoulders and holds me in place. “Aren’t you dating my nephew?”

“Albus doesn’t do boyfriends.” I reply, moving in and placing eager kisses along his neck.

“I see,” Charlie replies, understanding and a flash of pity entering his eyes. “I’m guessing you’re interested in commitment though?”

“No.” I press myself flush against his body, inwardly smiling at the feel of his half-hard cock against my thigh. “I’m interested in fucking.”

“We probably shouldn’t,” Charlie groans, bucking into my touch as I cup his erection. “It’s not a good idea. You’re so young.”

“I’m old enough,” I respond, fingers already undoing his jeans. “Don’t you want to fuck me?”

“Merlin.” Charlie’s cock twitches in my hand, a small pulse of pre-come dripping from the tip.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Charlie lacks the gentleness of Albus, but he makes up for it with enthusiasm, prepping me quickly with eager, lube-slicked fingers. He wastes no time in lining himself up, pressing inside and stretching me thoroughly. I don’t bottom often and the burn is painful at first, but soon it eases and becomes pleasant, Charlie’s steady strokes filling me whole. His fingers twist inside my hair, tugging roughly as his hips snap and he pounds into me again and again. He’s so rough and I love it, becoming lost in the burning stretch, my tender scalp, the heat generating between us. He loosens his grip on my hair and reaches below for my cock and I fuck myself into his tight fist. Soon I’m coming all over his hand, my muscles contracting and pushing Charlie over the edge as he bites into my shoulder and comes inside of me. He pulls out a bit too quickly, his thick cock catching on my sensitive rim.

It’s a marvelous fuck and, judging by the sated expression on Charlie’s face, he must agree, but the pleasant endorphins fade quickly. I watch him clean up and redress, but I find myself in no hurry to move. My body aches and I’m terribly sore but more than anything I feel utterly empty.

~*~

The first time we had sex, it was the first time for both of us and frankly, I was terrified. Albus seemed scared too, but he hid it well, chewing his lip as he passed me the bottle of lube.

He was so beautiful as I prepared him, spread out wantonly against the bed. I was meticulous, moving slowly and carefully, so afraid of hurting him. He made the prettiest sounds as I pressed inside, the heat and pressure of his body consuming me. He was tight, so very tight and hot, and I had to bite my lip hard enough to draw blood to stave off my orgasm.

I can still remember how his body felt against mine; the curve of his spine, his messy hair in between my fingers, the hot slide of his cock in my hand. Everything slowed down until I was aware of every single movement between us, every touch lighting sparks on my skin, every sigh music to my ears.

When I finally surrendered to my orgasm, my body trembling with the force of it, Albus groaned so very desperately beneath me. I’ll never forget that sound, nor the way he bucked into my hand as he chased his own release. Burned into my memories are my hands covered in his warm seed, the grateful and happy smile he gave me before collapsing onto the bed. My heart clenched so painfully at his sleepy expression, his flushed cheeks and loose body, so utterly well-fucked.

We laid there on that messy bed, bodies tangled together and sweat cooling in the gentle breeze from the open window. I could hardly contain the joy and rush of feeling traveling through me as he rested his head on my shoulder. I think I uttered the words then and there, the smallest of whispers leaving my lips in a single exhale. Albus began to snore lightly but I could tell from his breathing he was still awake. The icy tendrils of doubt filled my heart and I closed my eyes and banished all wayward thoughts. By the time sunlight began to filter in through the window, morning arriving in a gentle wash of pale gold across the room, I could almost convince myself I had never said the words at all.

~*~

It’s not long before Albus snaps.

I’m at the local pub, shamelessly flirting with a very adorable Hugo, whose flaming cheeks are currently the shade of a ripe strawberry. He’s quite shy, so unlike his outgoing sister, and I find myself rather taken with his sweet innocence as I whisper in his ear. I’ve just slung my arm around his shoulders, fingertips trailing down his freckled bicep when Albus storms over.

“We need to talk.”

“I’m busy.” I tighten my hold on Hugo’s arm, loving the way Albus’s eyes spark with anger as they follow the movement.

“Now.”

I hesitate to move and Albus grabs my arm, roughly pulling me away from Hugo and towards the bar’s side exit. The door closes noisily behind us and suddenly I'm pushed against the brick wall, Albus’s face alight with anger and frustration. He looks ready to scream but instead his mouth moves against mine, capturing my lips in a violent kiss. My traitorous body surges against him, all but melting into the kiss. My chest becomes tight, my heart ready to burst. This is why I can’t do this.

“No.” I push him away roughly, breathing heavily.

“So you can fuck my entire family, but you won't fuck me?” Albus sounds angry, he looks hurt.

He’s such a bloody prat sometimes. Do I need to spell it out for him?

“I don’t have feelings for your family,” I say between clenched teeth.

The anger drains from Albus’s face, replaced with a tired and morose expression.

“I can’t—I don’t like seeing you with them.”

“That’s too bad for you.” I can’t stand here in this dingy, deserted alleyway. I can’t stay here and argue with my best friend who broke my heart.

I make to move away, to head back into the pub and find Hugo. I’m sure he’s still waiting for me, standing by the bar with his sweet, shy smile. With any luck I can lose myself tonight, buried deep inside his virgin arse. Fuck him so hard and deep until the aching in my chest subsides.

“Wait.” Albus grabs at my arm.

“Let go.” My voice is calm but anger dances dangerously close to the surface.

“You can’t go back in there. You’re not going home with Hugo tonight.”

“Why not? Are you jealous?” I desperately try for a sneer but the words fall flat and sound bitter.

“Of course I fucking am!” Albus’s fingers dig sharply into the soft flesh of my arm.

“Well, that’s too damn bad,” I spit out, trying to shake him free. “You made your choice, you made yourself perfectly clear. Just because you’re feeling a little possessive doesn’t mean I’m going to forget what you said or how easily you rejected me.”

Albus’s grip loosens and he lets me go, his face going slack and eyes darkening with emotion. My hand is on the handle of the door when he calls me back.

“Don’t go.” Albus’s voice is soft, barely louder than a whisper.

I turn around and find him looking utterly defeated and oddly enough even a bit frightened.

“There’s nothing for me here.” My voice is almost kind, my shoulders shrugging helplessly.

“You’re an idiot,” he growls, the anger returning in a flash. I feel my own frustration rise again, blood pounding in my ears.

“Excuse me? How dare you—”

My words are cut off by Albus’s lips, needy and angry as they crash against mine. He slams me against the wall, the uneven bricks digging into my back.

“Fuck you, Scorpius Malfoy.” His lips are salty, his face wet and when he pulls back I’m surprised to find his are eyes rimmed red.

“What—”

“I love you, you fucking prat,” he growls against my mouth. “Don’t you dare go back inside. Don’t you dare look at anyone else again.” His body traps me against the wall and I can feel his cock, hard and wanting, pressed against my thigh. “You’re mine, do you hear me? You’re mine.”

Fuck, I’m hard too and I should hate myself, hate Albus, but I don’t. I return the pressure of his body, my hands slipping into his tight jeans and pulling out his hard cock. It’s hot and silky in my hand, a pearl of pre-come glistening at the head. My thumb brushes over it, spreading the sticky fluid, and Albus pants into my mouth, his own hands scrambling to release my prick from the confines of my jeans.

Our breaths mix together, hands overlapping as we rub our stiff cocks against each other in this dark alley. It’s so wrong and we could be discovered at any moment, but I can’t bring myself to care. My whole focus is solely on the feel of Albus’s calloused hand over mine, the slick slide of his cock, the heat building between our bodies. His fingers tighten and the friction increases and before I know it I’m shouting my release into Albus’s neck, warm come pulsing over our joined hands. Albus makes a needy whine and I drop to my knees, swallowing his prick whole. He makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat and a moment later his cock is throbbing against my lips, his come filling my mouth.

The moment after I swallow, our surroundings quickly rush back in. I grimace as I stand, fruitlessly wiping away the dirt from my knees and tucking myself back into my jeans. I detest the insecurities that sweep through me. Did he just say those words for a quick fuck? Would I have relented anyway?

“Come back to mine,” Albus murmurs.

“I don’t know.”

“Please.” Albus’s eyes are so green, so bright and clear, “We can shower and then fuck and sleep and then fuck again.” He chews his lower lip and looks up at me through dark, thick lashes. “I’ll even make you breakfast in the morning.”

“You’re going to make me breakfast?” I ask, disbelieving.

“Of course.” He grabs my hand and links our fingers together. “That’s what boyfriends do, right?”

“You’re sure?” I hate the waver in my voice.

“Absolutely.” His squeezes my hand tightly, his face stern and determined.

I nod my head and can’t help the fluttering in my stomach as his face breaks into a happy grin, pulling me by the wrist towards the Apparition point.

There’s no denying that we’ve both been hurt, but all those missteps and mistakes have led us here, to Albus tugging me joyfully towards our future. It hasn’t been easy, and likely won’t get any easier, but it’s worth every moment of pain. He’s worth it.

~*~