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a series of verses that didn't get translated into Latin (and one that did)

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Although you are not my professor
And actually that would be kind of creepy

Xander, you are so freaking awesome
I totally love you as much as Heloise loved Abelard
Except I hope that you will not lose any body parts
Also I cannot promise not to name any of our extremely hypothetical future children after scientific instruments.
- Willow, Season 1


Buffy, you are like Athena in her father's garb
or Arete seated at her throne, defeating me with your majesty
thwarting me with your Scoobies
and also your terrible name which translates poorly
and will utterly spoil the appearance of our wedding invitations
I think I shall stick with "Lesbia."
- Spike, Season 4


Arms and many women I sing, who first from the shores of California
Or more accurately a really big crater
exiled by some really big evil came to Italy and then to Scotland
Where it is very cold and my ink keeps freezing
But I shall persevere, even if my eyelids freeze shut
And I am like Homer, only writing in Latin
And also writing in general
Maybe I should get Vi to take dictation.
- Andrew, Season 8


Nec pius officiosus neque, etsi mater vocet iubens,
Carthaginem myrteam ne triste relinquam, nec te

Non sum illi sed amans te et hic exitu mundi cum te
Si in pyra res tibi omnes finiendae sint

Illud sat, fortis tostellor mea, est tecum esse
Aurora es, mi amica, mundi beati, et finis me.
- Xander, Season 6