Hyunseung stood beside the dressing room door, waiting for the tiny click sound from the doorknob, indicating Hyuna had finished dressing. It wasn’t like they are not close enough to get change with the other present in the room, Hyunseung just does it out of respect and Hyuna seems to appreciate it.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Hyuna said apologetically as she opened the door and let Hyunseung in. “I must have put on some weight again. I had a hard time getting these shorts on.”
“You look stunning,” Hyunseung smiled. She looks stunning as always, the oversize black baseball jacket along with her pair of shorts and leggings complied her image well. Little fierce yet absolutely adorable. She obviously gets one of the best bodies in the whole Korea and she is simply beautiful, with or without make up on. Hyunseung smiled a little as he watched Hyuna applied her eyeliners, he can never understand why she still rants about her own body, she is so perfect in every sense of beauty.
“Troublemaker, Ready to go?” Hyuna’s manger asked as they got on the car. Hyunseung mumbled a little of 4minute’s Ready Go, Hyuna laughed at his dramatic version of her song. On the road, the manger kept telling what they should do when the reach the MAMA venue, it wasn’t the first time they perform as the unit group so none of them paid any attention on the naggings.
Hyuna wasn’t half as excited or enthusiastic as Hyunseung was used to. She sat unusually quiet, with her head resting on Hyunseung’s shoulder while toying with the latter’s fingers. He noticed how their hands fit perfectly with each other, like they were meant to be.
“You nervous?” Hyunseung asked causally, trying to break the silence in the car. “For the performance?”
“Not exactly. Just tired, I guess.” Hyuna answered, Hyunseung could smell the fragrance she was wearing- it was the bottle he gave her last Christmas. Is that a sign of something? Hyunseung didn’t know.
Soon, they arrived. On the red carpet, they were the center of the attention, camera flashing everywhere, fans screaming at the top of their lungs. Hyunseung smiled, it’s always nice to be able to meet with supporters around the world and it’s even nicer to have Hyuna holding his arm tightly, She is holding his arm as if sje is a little kid holding one of his most loved teddy bears. He noticed how Hyuna tends to get a little bit too-close-for-just-friends when they are together, he wondered did she ever had the illusion of they are a couple, as if in what all those troublemaker fanfictions.
“Hyunseung-ah, what to do you think about this dress? Does it make me look fat?” HYuna asked when she held her performing dress for Troublemaker. Hyunseung told her no, along with the fact that she is perfectly skinny, nothing she wears would make her looks fat. Hyuna seemed happy to receive such compliment, yet still said something about her things gap. HYunseung had absolutely no idea what a thigh jap is, but Hyuna seemed persistence about such thing, he made a mental note to himself that he would google it later that day. There’s a television inside the room broadcasting what’s happening on stage, the two of them starched and did some warm-ups as they watched the telly.
“She is so fit and gorgeous!” Hyuna nearly exclaimed as a girl, Hyunseung believed her name is Angelababy, came on stage to present some award that Hyunseung missed the name. “Look at her waist! It’s so tiny and she is so beautiful!” Hyunseung watched Hyuna trying herself with the girl on the screen and then again said something about her weight and so. How could Hyuna be so not confidence with her own skin? Hyunseung wondered. She never liked her reflection in the mirror, she often try to fit into those unnecessary skinny size zero jeans…… He recalled the time after one of their practices and the two of them went out to get some refreshments, Hyuna told him about how she hated her eyes. “They aren’t exactly starry and bright,” Hyunseung still remembers her frown and the way her eyes dimmed with disappointment. He wanted to tell her that she is the most beautiful being that have ever been in his life, and despite in the industry, he had seen countless of the so-called beautiful people, none of them are even near to her gorgeousness. She is perfect. He wanted to forbid her to read any hater comments, he wanted to tell her that she is never the kind of girl the antis described her as. He wanted to tell her that she is the most wonderful girl he had ever seen. HE could assure that because he had seen her at worse, the one time when she was having her little breaking down in the middle of one of her overwhelming demanding practices, he still found her the best. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to be more than just her close friends, he wanted to be somebody that can stand up and protect her, protect her from all the rumors and gossips and sadness and so. He wanted to be the one that can spoil her and treats her right. He wanted to be the one that hold her when she feels fragile and insecure. He wanted to tell her all about this and also his feelings so badly but he must restrain himself from acting foolish. They are too young and their idol statuses aren’t that very secure yet. Hyunseung is rational. he knew very well what would happen if they were to be caught in a relationship. Beast only needs one member dating, and Hyuna is the goddess of millions teenagers and even uncles. It would ruined both their reputation and career if so. But this was not his major concern, the one thing that kept Hyunseung is that in case Hyuna doesn’t return his feelings. He knew Hyuna well enough, she isn’t the kind of girl that would be “hey even if things didn’t work between us, we can still be best friends”. Their friendship will be forever broke, and for god’s sake, Hyunseung like not that. She is the only person that kept him going when things are tough. She is the one person that made him a much better being by just being in his life. He would much rather to be a coward forever who heart aches every time when she friend-zoned him than to degrade their friendship into the awkward Hi-bye friends. It’s awful just imagining.
Hyunseung was lost in his own though as their manager came round to tell them to get ready as they will be up on 5minute. Hyuna was already dressed in her performing dress, double check herself in the mirror. “You ready?” She asked. Hyunseung shrugged off his thoughts before joining her at the door.
“You are the one who nervous today,” HYuna asked with concern as they walked in the corridor. “Where did you hide my fun loving joker? You left him in the airport, don’t you?” Hyunseung laughed a bit and said something about the jet lag. Hyunseung immediately realize what a terrible lie it is as their country is just an hour ahead of Hong Kong but HYuna didn’t seemed to notice so he let it go. “Hwaiting?” Hyuna nobbed and shot him a funny face before heading to her separate ready position.
The stage was as splendidly done. The audience loved it, Hyunseung was rather proud of himself he wanted to tell Hyuna what an amazing job she had done, But she had to run back to the dressing room to get ready for her collaboration stage with Psy.
“Well done, kid” It was Big Bang’s Taeyang, he pulled Hyunseung for a hug when they met in the backstage. “What a killer performance! Any awkward boner caused?”
Hyunseung joined him and the other Big Bang members for a little round of chit chat before they had to go get ready for his performance. He slowly walked back to the dressing room he and Hyuna shared, making sure he saved enough time for Hyuna to get changed. Again, he stood by the door, speculating on Taeyang’s remarks.
“Hyunseung kid, Hyuna is a great girl.”
“Yeah, of course she is gorgeous and. Umm, a terrific dancer especially.”
“You know I don’t mean by that.”
“What?” Hyunseung almost choked on the water he was drinking.
“The chemistry. The chemistry between the two of you. You may fool the others, but not me or anyone that know you as much as I do. She is pretty and extremely hot, not to mention that she is single. There’s a lot of people waiting if you don’t……”
“Keep it underground, my friend. She is very nice girl.”
Hyunseung’s thoughts were abruptly disturb by a sudden slam of the door.
“Would you hold me?” Hyuna asked, fragilely, as if she would broke down into pieces in any seconds. Hyunseung quickly take her in arms, “Yes. Yes of course.” He felt her sobbing. He panicked,”What is it?” He tried to ask as gently as he could, while trying to calm her by rubbing little circles on her back.
“You didn’t watch my performance, did you?” Her voice was shaky and that made Hyunseung hated himself. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s better this way. At least, you are the only person here that didn’t see my mistake.” She was a beat slower when dancing to Gangnam Style’s chores. “It’s terrible. I am terrible. I am the worse person in this entire universe. The problem is not about me being a horrible dancer, the problem is that I messed up with Psy oppa’s stage. Tell me Hyunseung, What kind of bad person am I? Everyone else is so talented and they are all good at something, they are all blessed in a way or another and there is me...... I can’t even do the one thing right! How foolish can I be?”
The words cut right though Hyunseung’s heart like a blade. How could? How could the beautiful, kind-hearted beauty in his arm ever think that way? He tightened the hug, feeling Hyuna’s breath on his neck. He bought his hands up to the burette’s soft lock, and gently brush them. He sighed and closed his eyes, searching for words of comfort but Taeyang’s voice was all came up. Hyunseung hesitated but still, he broke the slience in the room by almost whispering, “Hyuna, my dear,”
He was surprised by the tenderness in his voice. The girl looked up and they locked eyes- her mascara was a little blurred due to her crying, yet she’s still breath-taking. Hyunseung felt his lips slowly form a curve on his face, “I want you to listen carefully. You are not a horrible dancer, you are the most terrific dancer that one could possibly came across in their entire lives.”
He noticed how Hyuna shook her head a bit, he couldn’t help but frown, “ We human are unpredictable, even the greatest made mistakes too. It is though mistakes that we learn and grow and become a better person. Stop ranting on how imperfect you are, no one in this entire world is ever perfect, but you are one of the very few that are almost perfect. You are beautiful. You got one of the best bodies in the whole Korea, stopping being persistence of thighs’ gap or such things. I just googled that- thigh’s gap is biologically impossible, okay?” He gently pulled the girl away from their hug, took her hands and lead her to sit down on the couch in the back of the dressing room. “It’s only possible in one circumstance- you happened to have a wide hip and eating disorder. Don’t let these things define you- people love you not because of your pretty face- they go crazy for you because you are talented and you have such an incredible kind soul.”
Hyuna finally broke into a small smile, she lend across the boy to get a box a tissue to whip off the melting make-up. Hyunseung decided to continue, “You are amazing, you don’t need to lose weight or wear make up to make you are better or more attractive person. Your personality is wonderful, you are the strongest girl I ever met in my life. Remember the time when you are shooting Change’s mv?”
The girl nobbed yet blinked with a clueless expression. “The weather was cold, but the water was even cooler. I still can’t imagine how did you managed to put up with those and keep dancing. And the time when I came to visit during your Bubble Pop practice? You are the strongest and toughest girl I have ever meet in my entire life- I honestly don’t think that I can even stand up after hours and hours of non-stop practice, not to mention dancing in those killer heels… I still remember saying to myself that wow, I hope that she could be my pepper potts…” The last remark successfully earned a giggle from Hyuna. “That’s…cheesy…” she replied but rested her head on his bold shoulder with happiness written clearly on her fair feature.
Hyunseung ruffled his hand though his hair, he wasn’t really thinking,“Seeing you despite your own self made me sad, for god’s sake. How could you not see how stunning and awesome? It doesn’t matter that you are flawed, it doesn’t matter if you are not the best rapper out there, it doesn’t matter even if you haven’t got the heavenly voice like your member does. You are placed in your group for reasons. You are placed inside it because you are one of the part that made up the group. You are as important as anyone else. I hope nothing more than you would realize your importance, not just to your group or to me, but to everyone that has been so blessed and lucky enough to know you. You made people like me million times happier by just being in it. If nothing else, I hope you know that I really love you, it’s not like just loving the idea of loving you, but really love you because of who you are. Nothing in this world could stop me from loving you with every ounce of my being. I would gladly do anything in my power just to strive for you happiness when you are feeling down and upset. I pray that you would remember that no matter what, no matter how worthless you think you are, I am here for you. I am and will be always here for you, to cheer or just to accompany you. So please, my dear and beautiful Kim Hyuna, stop feeling insecure and hate everything about yourself. You are amazing.”
The room felt into moments of stillness before Hyuna spoke up, “Do you…do you really mean what you just said?”
“Every single syllables.” The boy could feel his cheek burning.
Hyuna said nothing else, instead she reached out for Hyunseung’s hand and lingered his slender fingers with her soft hand. She gave him a smile, a true, happy, content smile before once again restting on his shoulder, quietly wait for their managers to pick them up.