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Cherished Affliction

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Despite the royalty that was seeping from the Fabray name, Quinn had always been and would always be so very different from them.

Of course, there would always be qualities that she shared with her family that were linked to her genetic make up. Overachieving, for example; it ran through her blood stream on both her father and mother's side. They were both early high school graduates, an received early admission to Ivy League schools and eventually proud Columbia University alumni.

It didn't take much work for her path to be cut the same way and it came to no surprise that she managed to finish college and graduate school by twenty-three, gaining her MBA in business. It was in her blood. 

So much, that she was actually concerned about the stigma that might be applied to her thanks to her status as an heiress of sorts. So she did what her father would have done. She searched for other opportunities at other companies and excelled at them before ever stepping foot into her family's business. It defied the common belief that the company that Quinn Fabray owned, the company that had been in her family for years, was just handed to her.

No, Quinn Fabray earned the right to control every single inch of what her family had worked so hard to build for her. Quinn Fabray was special, and she always had been. 

Her mother always told her she was special. Even before she was an honor student, before she was standing on top of billions of dollars.

Before she was Quinn. 

Her mother believed that Quinn possessed unseen qualities that were blessed upon people through God. 

"People are just different. Special. They are chosen by God or whoever you may believe in, to exist differently and achieve success at a quicker pace than others. I knew the minute I was pregnant with you that would be one of those people." 

Quinn never really understood what her mother meant and she was confident that she never would. She did however know that her father shared a similar opinion, although his thoughts were more of a combination of what her mother believed and a more logical assembly of genetics and how she was raised. 

Her father initially called her the perfect little girl. She was her mother's lookalike - born with all the natural beauty and poise that had been passed down through her mother's genes for centuries. Perfect blonde hair, flawless skin, grace. As superficial as it may have appeared, her father was convinced that those makings would set his daughter up for greatness. But it was the intelligence and creativity along with her ability to think through things - even at an early age - that God had bestowed up on her. That was what made her special. She was a natural born leader. Willing and able to take control of whatever situation she had ever found herself in.

A trait that had been developed and honed throughout her years, thanks to the insistence of her father.

Eventually - that trait would come in handy. And not just when conquering her profession. 

Her personal life, thanks to a series of unfortunate and peculiarly timed events, would cause her to apply what she had initially considered misguided compliments from her parents. In order to prevent herself from crashing and burning, she would need to take control. Of everything. 

She was no walking pity party. She understood that life tended to shit on everyone - for lack of better words - and despite the range of particular events that had she had been affected personally by, there was nothing about her struggle that made her more tortured than the average person walking around with secrets of a painful past they hadn't quite moved on from. 

That didn't take away from the fact that she did still in fact, have a painful past she hadn't moved on from. 

She had a therapist once, when she was nineteen. It was no surprise that sitting on a couch and sharing her feelings didn't exactly bring her much peace. But the advice she had given Quinn turned out to be substantially helpful. She was told to channel her pain and sorrow into something. And while she hadn't begun working at that point, she managed to stumble onto a particular hobby that allowed her to refocus her energy. 

It didn't come as a surprise to her that sex would be that particular hobby. 

Quinn didn't consider herself a sexual person when she was younger, despite the fact that she very well should have been. She had definitely been attracted to women for quite some time and harnessed certain desires in response to that - but hardly pursued those desires. 

Luckily, through a specific chain of events that she tried not to think about, she ended up opening herself to sexual exploration that would essentially shape her personal life from that moment forward. 

She discovered a way to experience pleasure while staying in control of her emotions. A way to simultaneously be the person she was in her every day life while not being the person she was in her every day life. 

Quinn realized that channeling her aggression and sadness into something that she could manage kept her bizarre range of emotions - emotions she wasn't sure she'd ever manage to work through - in tact. It wasn't just about blind sex with women. The type of sex that happened quickly, under the covers, and with little attachment. No, it was about finding a connection with someone that lasted long enough to allow Quinn the opportunity to gain their trust and hand them an experience in which they would relinquish something important over to her.

Something she cherished, deeply. 

Something like control. 

Her father had been onto something when Quinn was younger. He had seen something in her that she initially considered to be a burden of sorts. How could she ever function as a normal woman if she was incapable of giving up control? If something so shallow and selfish was detrimental to how she functioned, and more importantly how she achieved success...or peace? 

She now understood that her mother and father had just seen in her something that she would never understand until she was an adult. She was special, for certain reasons. She always had been. That wasn't a burden, but a quality that she would grow to appreciate and accept.

It actually made Quinn Fabray every bit of the wonder that she had become and despite sometimes feeling unbalanced due to the memory of how important the social construct of a real relationship had been to her father, she lived for it.

Quinn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, suddenly becoming a little lightheaded at the mere thought of it. Flexing her slim fingers, she lifted herself up on the balls of her feet and opened her eyes to the sight of the darkening skies of New York City.

Had she really been standing at her window that long?

It must have been a particularly slow day for her; she hadn't even noticed the amount of time that passed her by in the midst of her silent musings. Reaching a careful hand to the glass, she allowed the tips of her manicured fingers to slide softly against it.

Studying the city that she had loved for so long - her city - was something she often did to achieve tranquility outside of her personal life. A way to meditate, so to speak. Sometimes those musings would leave her longing for another means of distracting herself. 

Thankfully, she had other plans for that evening. 

A beep suddenly sounded and as the voice of her secretary came through the speaker, Quinn drew her hand back from the window at almost as quickly as she had touched it. 

"Ms. Fabray? I'm sorry to interrupt your meditation, but it's five-thirty. You told me to remind you when it began to get close to your reservation. If you want to make it on time, you should probably start preparing to leave. Your car is waiting for you downstairs. Is there anything else I can get for you?"

Quinn Fabray smiled.

"No, that will be all Renee', thank you."

"Have a good evening Ms. Fabray," the woman spoke genuinely and Quinn pushed her bangs away from her brow.

She made sure to always be the last person leaving her building, a routine that insured that she was putting in as much work as she could and not just sitting back and allowing faces without names run her company. Every evening, she would tie all the loose ends that she could, meditate, and dismiss Renee' before locking up and heading home to indulge…whatever she so desired.

Tonight would bring a slight deviation from her normal routine, though for good reason. She would be spending the evening having dinner with a possible new person to share her desires with and if it panned out correctly it could lead to a very promising opportunity.

It helped to know that Quinn didn't keep submissive's for long periods of time, so periodic meetings with potential companions were required. She used an initial sit down to determine how committed each woman really was to being with her in that way and always made sure that each woman always understood that she was not looking for a permanent arrangement - via contractual agreement. 

If Quinn was being honest with herself, she was still humoring the idea that she'd find the perfect woman; a perfect companion to meet both of her needs. Realistically, she knew that she wasn't anywhere near ready to encounter someone like that. She had attempted it once and it didn't really work out. Until she stopped shying away from her issues with attaching herself emotionally to a woman - it was easier and safer to keep her relationships temporary. 

She couldn't bring herself to draw something out that didn't truly satisfy her completely and every submissive understood that. Fortunately, there were no hard feelings and no vengeance. They had all managed to handle themselves with grace and class, giving up their allotted positions so that she could begin her search for the next submissive. 

As gratifying as that routine had been so far, there was a part of it that was getting a bit old for her. 

It always seemed to be the same women that continually sought her out, women that she sometimes felt held her back from the real thing falling into her hands. Though, she would never complain about their eagerness.

She needed it.

She required that constant structure in her life to keep her going; otherwise her dedicated precision would be practically extinct. However, she couldn't help but wonder if 'the one' - the woman that she liked to think of as a diamond of sorts -  would be the person who would finally wreck her.

Somehow, Quinn both feared and hoped for it.

So, though she embarked on this interview for the opportunity for a fresh face, she also held on to distant hope that maybe she'd be sitting down with her future. So far this potential person fit the description that Quinn favored: short exotic brunette, brown eyes, and long legs. 

She never strayed from her pattern, and didn't plan to. It was in her genetics to never settle for less and she believed that she would find the right woman and that she would also fit her desired profile.

The woman she would be meeting that evening, Jessica, seemed good enough. Nice laugh, good personality, and fully willing to meet all of Quinn's needs.

Her only downfall was that she had belonged to someone before Quinn and Quinn Fabray did not do seconds.

Unless there was an exception.

The dinner was to determine if there could be an exception made in this case and to say Quinn was curious about it would be an understatement. She was hoping to find another adventure, someone special. It was a yearning that had previously never been fulfilled.

Despite that, Quinn couldn't help but feel that tonight…something had the ability to change. 


Entering the restaurant, Quinn was met with eyes from all over the place.

Instant fame was the social norm for her from the minute she took over her parents company, both thanks to the size of the business and the fact that by taking actual leadership within the company versus only holding the majority of shares she went from just another spoiled heiress to one of the youngest, wealthiest, people in the world. It was a rare an unbelievable thing and subsequently a major headline.

It didn't affect her, though she did often wonder what it would be like to introduce herself to someone who didn't already know her name. 

The host greeted Quinn with a knowing and slightly nervous smile, another thing Quinn could live without. She disliked the intimidating fear people felt because of the size of her wealth. 

"Ms. Fabray, it is wonderful to see you tonight…your guest arrived fifteen minutes prior to yourself and is waiting for you at your reserved table."

She follows directions well, Quinn thought. She had indeed informed the woman to be as obedient as she could tonight – in lieu of a test.

Since Jessica had informed Quinn that she would not be requesting a 'twenty-four seven' relationship, the instructions regarding her behavior seemed pointless, but for Quinn it would reveal several things about her.

Aside from that, Quinn hadn't embarked on a relationship of that type of intensity in a long time, nor did she plan to at this point. She was only looking for something to fulfill her needs for the time being.

"Fantastic." Quinn uttered with a small smile, and the host led the way to her table. They were always so formal to her at these kinds of places and although she didn't always have the patience for it, she always to respond with class and respect.

"Might I add that you look absolutely grand in that gown." He spoke and Quinn smiled at the compliment, swallowing her laughter at the irony of his statement.

"Thank you." Quinn said calmly, before she spotted her table. Jessica was sitting with her eyes cast downward, her hands in her lap and her shoulders back in the short red dress that Quinn had specifically request she wear.

Upon approaching the table, Jessica stood. The man looked at her curiously but chose not to respond. Instead he turned to Quinn, but before he could speak she had already cut him off. "Let's start with a bottle of Chardonnay." She said firmly.

"As you wish, Ms. Fabray."

He hurried off to give the order, and Quinn touched the smooth cheek of her potential lover. "Very good Jessica. Eyes up."

Brown eyes looked up at Quinn, "Tonight will be a test. You normally will not be required to accompany me anywhere in public. That is not the nature of the relationship I have requested from you. However, I would like to see how well you can follow directions. You have done exceedingly well so far." Quinn smiled.

The woman smiled softly in return and Quinn allowed her eyes to sweep down her body, appreciatively. Jessica fit the dress that Quinn had purchased for her perfectly.

"You look exceptional, Jessica." Quinn complimented and Jessica smiled.

"Thank you, Ms. Fabray." She said lightly and Quinn nodded her approval. First names were not an option, not yet. But she was pleased with Jessica's way of addressing her.

"Well done, you may sit."

The woman waited a beat for Quinn to sit down, before she took her seat and placed her hands on her lap, smiling at Quinn.

"Do you drink white wine, Jessica?"

"No, Ms. Fabray. I've never had the chance to try any." She responded quietly. Quinn clucked her teeth, "Hmm, that is unfortunate. You will have your first glass of white wine with me tonight, is that alright with you?"

As the confusion passed in her eyes, it looked as if Jessica had never been asked if anything was alright with her and was struggling to find the correct response to the question. That left Quinn curious to find out if Jessica would turn out to be a bit of challenge.

She loved challenges.

"If it's alright with you, it's alright with me, Ms. Fabray."

Nope.

It seemed that Jessica had all of her ducks in a row, a fact that came bittersweet to Quinn. Jessica appeared perfect, only because she was practiced. She had already been taught how to be obedient and although it seemed convenient, a part of Quinn wanted someone who was fresh. She wanted someone who was absolutely and totally clueless when it came to the lifestyle but passionate about being submissive to her.

Quinn was looking for something she'd only find in a woman that was head over heels in love with her, or vice verse. Sadly, Quinn could not trust many women enough to allow that kind of relationship to take place and she hadn't in a long time.

Considering those circumstances she figured that though Jessica wasn't exactly what she was looking for - she would just have to do for now.

"It feels good to have a first with you, Jessica." Quinn commented, unable to keep some of the bitterness out of her tone. She was annoyed with the idea of re-training a submissive. Because there was something that did feel a bit sloppy to her about not being someone's first. She knew how ridiculous it sounded, but it was a specific standard that she had grown to accept about her preferences over time. The woman across from her lowered her eyes at the remark, feeling the instant condemnation of Quinn's comment.

Interesting

"Eyes up, Jessica…you seem a little hurt by that remark, is there something you would like to share with me?" Quinn said curiously and Jessica looked her in her eyes.

"No, Ms. Fabray-"

Jessica's words were cut off in a gasp as Quinn's hand disappeared under the table swiftly, up her dress. Quinn let her fingers caress the girl's thigh, watching her face turn a little pink at the touch.

"Something wrong?" Quinn spoke calmly. Jessica shook her head.

Second mistake in less than five minutes, maybe she isn't that perfect.

Quinn squeezed her thigh, before sliding her hand upward...towards a place that caused an audible stutter in Jessica's breathing. Quinn couldn't deny her own arousal at the reaction she was pulling from her.

"Use your words, Jessica. I can't read minds." Quinn spoke firmly and Jessica stared into the hazel orbs before speaking.

"I-I apologize; there isn't a-anything wrong with me, Ms. Fabray." Jessica said, her voice shaking.

Quinn stared at her for a moment her hard eyes looking through her rather than at her, before she smiled and removed her hand. "I will overlook your mistakes."

All that could be heard in the silence was the soft heaving of Jessica's chest. It seemed that she hadn't been expecting what she received from Quinn at all. Which caused Quinn's interest in the woman to grow considerably. 

She glanced around the restaurant in interest, amused by the way the servers and employees bustled around to please the wealthy customers. Of course, the customers ate it up. It constantly annoyed her how they used their influence to boost their own egos. She wasn't into being sucked up to and would prefer people to just treat her normally. She was just a woman, desperately trying to continue the success her family began and remain in control of her life. 

It would be nice if anyone could truly see her for what she was. 

There was no time for her to ponder that however, because she was suddenly being pulled from her reverie by the sound of a loud crash and cold liquid being splashed into her lap. 

Standing quickly, Quinn glanced down to see what was now identified as the white wine she had only just ordered seeping down her thousand dollar dress and into her heels.

"Oh my God! I'm-I'm so sorry…I tripped, and...and I'll get something to clean that up, I'm so sorry!"

Quinn allowed her ears to catch up with the voice and her eyes soon followed. A short, tan brunette was scrambling on her knees now to pick up the glass that had fallen, along with the broken bottle of Chardonnay and Quinn watched in amusement as she fumbled with everything - including her words.

"I am so fired, damn it…" She mumbled, before shaking her head, "I mean...I mean...excuse my language...I just need to get this, get this glass up a-and..."  She rushed to her feet again and finally Quinn had the opportunity to look at the waitress who ruined her dress.

Upon laying eyes on her everything seemed to slow down.

Quinn's heart seemed to flutter as she shared a gaze with the woman. She hadn't had a reaction like that to a woman in so long that it actually shocked her. Where were these butterflies in her stomach coming from?

She watched the brunette falter for words, mouth hanging open as she stared at Quinn almost...curiously.

She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her long dark brown curls were pulled back into a high ponytail, preventing anything from obscuring the view of her face. She had smooth skin, defined cheeks, and plump lips that looked absolutely delicious.

Without shame, Quinn allowed her eyes to glance down at the body of the woman. She was tan and exotic. Her white button down shirt was unbuttoned at the top showing the dip in her chest that led down to her breasts which appeared at first glance to be average sized. The perfect size, Quinn mused further recognizing that the shirt was tight enough to define features that otherwise would go unnoticed.

Her legs seemed long underneath the black slacks that were covering them, though it was obvious that this woman was particularly small in stature. Quinn finally tore her eyes away to look back up into her eyes.

She was absolutely stunning. Quinn swallowed, feeling her mind, spirit, and body strain against both her composed expression and the fabric of her expensive dress. Her control was slipping and it wasn't because of the wine soaking through the material of her outfit.

The waitress finally spoke again and broke Quinn's stare, "I am so sorry miss, I didn't mean to…listen I can clean that up if you'd like? I don't know how much wine a napkin can take out of a dress, but I can try." She offered a nervous smile and raised a napkin to the material but Quinn caught her wrist before she could press it to her body.

"It's ruined, actually." Quinn spoke with a smile and the girl suddenly looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm so sorry…listen-"

"Berry!" An angry voice cut her off and Quinn watched as she wrung her hands like she was about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Oh god, listen I'm really sorry, I'll have someone clean all of this up, ma'am. I'm really sorry again…" She pulled her arm from Quinn's grasp before hurrying off, offering one last look over her shoulder before she was out of Quinn's sight.

Quinn couldn't take the smile off of her face as she memorized the features of the woman. A man who Quinn assumed was the manager appeared in her line of vision, and instantly she snapped out of the haze she was in.

"I want her name."

"Ms. Fabray, I am so sorry! The girl is new and in training but consider your evening on us-"

"No, give me her name."

Quinn didn't even look at the man, still watching the spot where the girl had disappeared to. She was entranced by her, having never seen a woman so…perfect in her life.

"That won't be necessary Ms. Fabray. She will be fired immediately." Quinn's gaze snapped to the man, her patience beginning to thin.

"You will not fire her, you will not pay for my evening, I only request her name." Quinn said with finality.

He looked at her confusedly, "I don't under-"

Quinn leaned forward. "I can't make myself anymore concise. Either you give me her name as I've requested or I will call the owner of this establishment and get it myself, but not before letting him know that because you refused to rectify the situation to my standards, I have made the decision to withdraw my patronage from this restaurant and will encourage my colleagues to do the same. Your choice." She said lowly, her hazel eyes ablaze with promise. 

Quinn hated intimidating people purposely, but she had no other choice. She needed that name.

"Rachel Berry."

Rachel Berry.

Quinn couldn't immediately explain why, but there was a distinct feeling of need rising within her. It wasn't something she felt regularly. But rather, when she was in the midst of making a particularly special discovery.

Like a rare diamond someone would pay millions for, simply to be able to stare at it.

And then Quinn realized that this woman was rare.

The very woman Quinn never thought she’d find had been standing right in front of her. Despite only having the memory of her beautiful features and now her name, Quinn was sure about one thing.

She wanted her.