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21 Things People Don’t Know About Don Eppes

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1. Don had a solid crush on Amita and occasionally still thinks of her as the one who got away.

2. Don got really stoned one night in college and had sex with a guy on the swim team. He had a homosexual freak-out when he woke up in the morning and never talked to that swimmer again. He still feels guilty about it.

3. He knows about Ian and Charlie’s one night stand but really, really wishes he didn’t.

4. His Hebrew is still pretty weak but sometimes he goes to a more conservative temple just to feel the language flow over him.

5. Don once lied under oath. A guy who’d been arrested twenty previous times tried to get out of his conviction by claiming that Don hadn’t read him his Miranda rights. A second suspect had started shooting from a balcony before Don could get to it but he swore under oath that he had.

6. Don took Prozac for three months before quitting baseball just to make sure the decision wasn’t being influenced by some neurochemical imbalance. Some days he thinks he should have tried for six.

7. Don has been on antidepressants several times in his life but he’s always gotten them through off the record sources.

8. Don can’t handle bondage or certain sexual positions for reasons he’s probably never going to be ready to talk about.

9. Don has always been found of Larry. If he’d been on a more steady footing with Robin he would have offered Larry his spare room.

10. Don didn’t quit Fugitive Retrieval because he couldn’t handle the life. He quit because the doctors found a cancerous melanoma on his shoulder and they wanted him to stay in one place so they could do regular tests and treatments before it could get out of control.

11. Don got a girl pregnant when they were both sixteen just before summer. She told him she was having an abortion but her family sent her to live with relatives a week later so he has never been completely sure as to what actually happened.

12. Hearing that Charlie shot high score at his FBI training filled Don with a stupid amount of pride. Not that he’d ever tell Charlie that.

13. Don doesn’t actually envy Charlie’s ability to do math anymore knowing what it cost Charlie in the area of friends and ‘normal’ childhood activities.

14. Don knows he drinks a little more than is strictly healthy but he’s never been drunk on the job or on call.

15. Don practices the piano whenever he’s in the house and Charlie’s not.

16. Don had nightmares about Charlie wandering off from that camping trip for decades.

17. Don actually enjoys cooking and is pretty good at it, which is a good thing since Robin can’t boil an egg.

18. Even when they hadn’t spoken in years Don’s will left everything to Charlie.

19. He kinda wishes he’d had the balls to go on a ski trip with John Buckley.

20. Don can recite It’s a Wonderful Life word for word. And it always makes him cry.

21. Like all Eppes Don has a genius level IQ, but knowing that even on his best day he’d never hold a candle to Charlie he decided at a young age to focus on sports instead of academics.