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Light Shall Shine Out Of Darkness

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"If it's not my fault," Finn whispered, eyeing Rachel nervously, "then why do I feel so shitty?" He wiped his hands on his jeans, awaiting her response. Finn thought Rachel was the smartest person he knew. 

 

She reached over and patted his hand. "Because you're human. Your brother is hurting, and you're human, Finn. Anyone would feel bad."

 

"Anyone except Blaine," Finn muttered darkly. "He's such a jerk."

 

She wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling her face into his neck, and he breathed a sigh of relief. There was something about being in Rachel's arms that just comforted him. It centered him, made him feel like he wasn't broken. He couldn't believe she was his.

 

"You can't control the actions of others," she soothed, hands running down his back. "You can only control yourself...and for what it's worth, I think you are doing a great job."

 

"And it's not my fault?" He queried. "Even though I confronted him?"

 

She sighed. "Did you tell Blaine to take up a lover?" She demanded, eying him. He shook his head. "Then, no, it's not," she told him. "It never was and it never will be. In a way it's good that Kurt knows. That way he can move on."

 

Finn supposed that Rachel made sense. It wasn't the stupidest thing he'd heard, at the very least. And she had held him tightly. He pressed a kiss to her temple. Damn, he loved her.

 

"It did suck when I realized Beth wasn't mine," he admitted softly. It still smarted, somewhat, when he really thought about it. "And even that...that seems less serious than this." 

 

Yeah, Finn totally would have loved and cared for and adored baby Drizzle, he really would have, but he had to admit that realistically, he had not been ready to be a dad at 16. Hell, he was barely ready now, and he was a real, legitimate, adult. And he didn't actually love Quinn. Hell, at least she had admitted to it once he'd been told! He somehow doubted that Blaine would have done so had Brittany not forced his hand by doing the admitting for him. Blaine had not only cheated on Kurt, but he had lied about something important for the entirety of their relationship. And Finn knew that was not cool. 

 

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, her hair brushing against his cheek. She'd pressed her upper body against his back, laying her head on his shoulder. Her hair, which was loose that day, wafted over his shoulder, tickling his bare skin. "Honey?"

 

 

"With Beth, it was just one lie," he tried to explain, tried to make the words come out right. "Yeah, Beth was a huge ass lie, but it wasn't like Quinn carried on the lie throughout Beth's entire life," he rambled. "I mean, maybe she was gonna, but she eventually admitted the truth." He sighed. "Blaine told Kurt that he was capital G Gay for the entire time they were together. So that meant every single day of their relationship was touched by a lie."

 

"A lie that Blaine saw nothing wrong with," he added, jabbing an invisible Blaine with his thumb.

 

Rachel hummed in agreement, arms tightening around his chest. "I suppose one could even say that as a scared 16 year old, Quinn thought you were the best candidate to be the baby's dad," she decided, nuzzling his neck. "Which, though ideally it would have been a mutually decided agreement between the three of you...and I don't agree with her methods of illusion...isn't the least flattering thing in the world. I mean am glad that you are my baby's father. And I would be equally as glad if we were not married."

"But what purpose did Blaine's lie have?" Finn asked, confused. "Does it have any?" 

 

She shook her head. "Not any that would be anything but solely beneficial towards him."