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Light Shall Shine Out Of Darkness

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Chapter 4: Lay down your arms, give up the fight (touch)

 

"I'm sorry," Rachel whispered to Finn, taking the napkin he'd offered her and dabbing her eyes with it. "It's just...been a really rough day," she admitted, and she sniffled loudly. "Not because of anything you've done!," she insisted, seeing how quickly her husband's face had drained of color and how his expression was on the verge of crumpling. "I'm just hormonal," she settled on, composing herself slightly. 

 

"Rach, if it's because of me, I can handle it," he replied, taking another napkin from the table and dabbing her tears with it. "If it's not...," he sighed. "D'you wanna sit on my lap? I'd like you to, if you want to."

 

Rachel was torn. She really did want to sit on Finn's lap, and it was nice of him to offer, but there was his knee to consider. She really did not want to derail his healing any further. But, he was being so sweet. And she could really use a hug. She nodded, minutely, pleasantly surprised when he picked her up off her chair, his gargantuan arms snug around her petite form. He settled her on his lap, and she smiled up at him, blinking the remaining tears out of her eyes. "Hey," she breathed, leaning the entirety of herself against his middle. "You sleep okay?"

 

She felt him lean his chin on top her head. "Yeah," Finn answered, after he'd pressed a kiss to her crown. "Would have been better with you, though," he added, and she felt him tighten his arms around her, ever so slightly. "I missed you, I woke up and you weren't there."

 

She felt guilty. "I'm sorry." 

 

"Nah, it's alright," he continued, allowing one of his hands to caress her abdomen as he spoke. "I know what you and Kurt were doing, I appreciate it." Another kiss, pressed down on the nape of her neck. Rachel let out an involuntary shiver, and she felt Finn's smile against her skin. "Cold, babe?" She could hear the smirk in his tone, and she felt the line of kisses down her shoulder, biting back a pleasured moan. She shifted in his lap, turning her head so she could kiss him deeply. 

 

"You know I'm not cold," she teased, nipping at him. "In the kitchen, Finn?" 

 

He kissed her back, shifting himself. Rachel smirked, sneaking her hand in between her legs, lightly rubbing him through his basketball shorts. "I am wearing a skirt," she whispered throatily, mewling as his fingers slipped under her skirt, stroking her through her panties. "I'm certainly not saying no."

 

He slipped his hand down the front of her underwear, deftly stroking her clit, and she bucked her hips in pleasure. "Finn...," she breathed, grinding against his hand. "Don't tease." She let out a throaty moan, not caring that they had a bit of an audience in an entranced Kurt and Brittany, who were staring at them in horror and pleasure respectively. "Take me." 

 

Rachel let out a squeak as Finn lifted her up, and she hooked her legs around his waist, kissing him fervently, allowing him to carry her into their bedroom. She had to admit that the bed was a much more attractive spot to make love on, though she wouldn't have objected in the least to Finn taking her up on her offer to ride him on the kitchen chair. Her pregnancy hormones had arrived with a vengeance, and she certainly wasn't going to complain. Especially since he was there, very much willing to assist her with her needs. She pushed their bedroom door closed with her foot, recollecting her wits enough to remember the presence of others in their domicile. 

 

"It's alright, right?," Finn murmured, continuing his line of kisses. "You feel alright?"

 

She nodded into his chest, easing off his shirt. "Yeah," she agreed, pulling away slightly so she could discard her blouse, throwing both offending articles of clothing in the vague direction of the hamper. "Ugnh, yeah," she moaned, Finn's hands having made their way to her incredibly sensitive breasts. "Feels good," she encouraged, shifting position so he could unhook her bra, sighing breathily as he nipped lightly at them, his tongue lingering on her swollen nipples. "Oh God!," she exclaimed, breath quickening as he lavished her much-bigger breasts with much needed attention. 

 

Rachel pulled down Finn's shorts and boxers, hand grasping his straining erection, and she gently cupped it, stroking it up and down, just the way he liked it. Finn let out a soft growl, bucking into her hands as he reached for her underwear, her skirt long gone and hard to find. 

 

"You okay?," he asked, his tone filled with desire. "I want you to come first." He'd started doing that thing again with her clit and his hand and she let out a pleasured moan, nodding eagerly at him. 

 

"More," she directed, adjusting his hand ever so slightly. "Please, Finn, keep doing that!" She could feel just how entirely turned on she was getting, just off of his fingers alone. "Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, please don't stop!

 

Mercifully, Finn heeded her words, only stopping to replace his hands with his tongue, a decision that Rachel Hudson entirely approved of. She let out a pleasured scream, fingers digging into her husband's hair. "Ooooh, Finn," she breathed, once she had ridden out her majority of her orgasm, "I liked that."

 

"Yeah?," he asked, licking his lips. "I liked it too." He kissed her on the lips, erection brushing against her as he adjusted himself to nuzzle her bump. "I love you, Rach."

 

"I love you too," she assured him, climbing on top of him so she could straddle his legs, allowing him to enter her. She slowly lowered herself down, letting out a low moan as he thrust into her, starting off slow. "Go faster," she encouraged, hooking her legs around him, pushing him deeper into her. She needed this. "Please, Finn, faster. Oh, oh, oh, OH OH OH!" With each thrust she felt more and more turned on, especially since Finn had resumed paying attention to her breasts. "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, OH GOD!" With a final thrust, she felt Finn come inside her, just as she had her second orgasm.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Finn let Rachel roll off him, as he tried to regain control of his breath, still recovering from his orgasm. She laid her head on his chest and smiled up at him, and he tugged his arms around her. This was awesome, he thought to himself. He had such an awesome wife. Seriously, he thought, Rachel was the best thing he had in the world at the moment. She was so good to him. And, she was giving them their first baby in less than five months. He could hardly wait. 

 

"What's wrong?," he asked, noticing that her hands hadn't left her abdomen for the entire time he'd been holding her. "Is she alright? Are you alright?"

 

He let out a shaky breath when she nodded, a wide grin gracing her features. "We're fine, Finn," she promised. "She's just really active all of a sudden," she continued. "I think we woke her up."

 

"Can I say hi?," he asked, beyond pleased when Rachel took his hand and covered it with hers, placing them right where their baby was kicking. And she really was kicking, like, super hard. Finn really, really, really liked that. "We did that?"

 

Rachel nodded, her grin growing even wider. "Yes," she told him. "That's our baby, we did that."

 

"That's really awesome," he told her. "She's so awesome." He tenderly ran his palm down her abdomen, grinning as their baby followed him. 

 

"She gets that from her awesome daddy," she said, her eyes filled with love. Finn just shook his head. "What?," Rachel asked. "You are awesome. Finn, you are the greatest guy I know."

 

"Sometimes I don't feel awesome," he mumbled, gaze dropping to her swollen belly. "I just want to be better," he said, not moving his hand. "I want to be someone that this little girl will be proud of, not some crazy freak that can't stop screaming at night."

 

"Don't call yourself that," she hissed. "Stop it, Finn. You aren't a freak. Please believe me."

 

"But, last night -- " He started to say, before Rachel cut him off, disentangling herself from his arms and sitting up in bed. 

 

"Finn, last night was the first time in a long time that you have done that," she said. "And you are not going to be like this forever. You are going to get better or we are going to find ways to accommodate your flashbacks, okay? Our children will not think their father is a freak and neither will you.

 

"I can't help it," he muttered. "I'm sorry, Rachel." He rolled over, his back facing her. He knew it was childish, but at that moment, he really didn't care.

 

He shut his eyes, feeling her shifting closer to him, and he waited for her response, surprised when it was simply to wrap her arms around him, her bump flush against him. Their baby girl kicked -- Finn didn't know if she had ever stopped -- and he exhaled loudly. 

 

"I know," she whispered. "Honey, I know."

 

He drew a shaky breath, afraid to face her, tears slipping down his face. He hated this, dammit. He just wanted to be normal. a normal husband to go with his normal wife and their normal adorable little baby. Because Finn knew with Rachel as her mom their girl was going to be the cutest baby in the universe. They deserved better than him. And he knew that, whether or not Rachel wanted to admit it. 

 

"You married a man in the Army," Finn tried to explain, struggling to find the right words. "I was going to get a good job, I was going to do right by you. And we were going to have our family and you would have had your Tony and everything would be okay."

 

He swallowed roughly. "And now look at us. You're still and school and we're pregnant before we're twenty-five and I can't work or do anything," he moaned. "I am so sorry, babe."

 

"I'm not," she responded, and he rolled over in shock, putting way too much pressure on his healing knee. "It's alright, Finn. We're alright. And you have nothing to be sorry for."

 

Rachel pecked him on the lips. "I'm glad you got discharged," she said. "Now you get to experience my entire pregnancy, not just see it through the internet."

 

He managed a grin at that, at the fact that, hell, she had a point. "I remember when you told me you were pregnant with her," Finn recalled, resting his hand above Rachel's hip, his fingers rubbing her taught skin idly. "You called me on Skype, you didn't care how late it was, you showed me your ultrasound and told me that you bought her a onesie that said 'my daddy is my army hero'." He chuckled at that, smiling into her hair. "Then you brought your computer close to you so I could meet her." His hand moved higher. "Rach, that was one of the happiest moments of my life."

 

Rachel beamed at him, smiling that cute smile she knew he loved, with her nose wrinkling up as she did, and he knew immediately that that had been the right thing to say. Sometimes, Finn wasn't good at saying the right things, so he was super proud of getting this right with Rachel. He loved her, so much. And he loved their daughter. "...did you say children?," he asked. "Earlier?"

 

"Yeah," she replied. "I'd like more than one. If you'd want that, of course?"

 

"Yeah, of course," Finn told her, getting another one of her smiles as he did. "I'll be a good dad, I will." 

 

Rachel giggled at him, brown eyes lighting up. "Finn, you are the best dad in the world," she informed him. "When you first arrived at the hospital here, all you cared about was if I was okay and informed everyone at the VA that was in earshot and had anything to do with you and your care that I was carrying your baby and they had better not let anything happen to me. You also informed Kurt that he would have to be the de facto father in your stead, and you were so concerned about it that he practically signed a blood promise."

 

Finn placed a kiss in her hair. "I vaguely recall that," he admitted, mainly due to Kurt's horrified look when he came to after his surgery and he demanded to know whether being blood brothers would permanently scar his skin. "'member her kicking for the first time, though."

 

"You do?," she asked. He nodded. "Oh, Finn."

 

"Yeah, you were all curled up against me on my good side," he recounted. "It was just the two of us, so I asked if I could see your belly in person, and you got really excited and your face got really red, but you told me that that was a good thing, and you lifted up your shirt and placed my hand on your stomach and you said that she was kicking a little bit for you but I could see if she would for me. An' then you fell asleep, but I felt her." 

 

"Starting a trend with her that continues to this day," she teased.