The best and worst thing about touring, according to Tommy, is that what happens on tour stays on tour.
As great as it feels to know that all the stupid things he did over the few last months will stay between him and the people who witnessed them, he’s very aware that he’s, once again, the idiot who’s losing his heart to a tour fling.
At least Tommy learned a few things the first time around. Whatever he thinks they have right now most likely won’t hold against the pressure of real life.
He steps back to protect his heart.
He’s expecting things to cool down and go back to normal – a normal that includes him and Brian sleeping in their own, separate rooms. He doesn’t want that to happen, but he needs something to prepare himself for the inevitable heartbreak when they get back home.
With anybody else, it might have worked. For a couple of days, Tommy even thinks he was successful and does his best to ignore how disappointed that makes him.
Until they’re in Helsinki and Tommy can’t escape fast enough after soundcheck. The others all disappear within minutes, and he finds himself alone with Brian.
“Why have you been avoiding me?”
The question takes Tommy by surprise. “I wasn’t—”
“Yes, you were. Why?” With each word, Brian moves one step closer, his eyes never leaving Tommy.
Tommy loves and hates the way it makes him feel, as if he has no hope of hiding anything from Brian. The intensity, the demand in Brian’s gaze should make Tommy uneasy, but it never does. He hates that it never does.
Maybe that’s why he gives Brian the truth instead of his ready-made excuse. “I thought it would make things easier. You know. For you and me.”
“No, I don’t know. Easier to do what?”
Having reached his limit, Tommy drops his gaze to the ground. “To go back to normal without any hard feelings after this tour thing. Since we’ll have to work together again…” How he wishes it wasn’t only that. But he has enough self-preservation not to say it aloud.
Two fingers under his chin make him raise his head and look at Brian again. “Who the fuck said it was just a tour thing?”
Tommy’s heart trips and hammers in his chest with a hope that he quashes as fast as he can.
“It always is.” Tommy’s learned this much from his past experiences and he never wants to go through that kind of heartbreak again.
“Not with me,” Brian says, in the low tone that sends shivers down Tommy’s back. “Not unless you tell me it’s what you want.”
Tommy swallows hard against the dryness in his throat. It sounds too good to be true. “So what do we do now?”
“Tonight, we have a show,” Brian reminds him. “Tomorrow, we’ll be home. And we can start figuring out where we’re going with this.”
Tommy can’t deny that he loves that idea.