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"What was she like?"

"Who?"

"Pixela."

Bombrush paused, slowly turning his head to look at his girlfriend. They were at his house for the weekend, lying together naked in his bed after going at it for a few rounds. They should have been enjoying each other's presence in the afterglow, with his arms wrapped firmly around her and his head resting on her chest while she ran his fingers against his hair. And it had started out that way until she suddenly asked.

Soundwave didn't say anything else though, just staring back at him with a blank expression. Perhaps he should have been more prepared for her to ask. If she wanted to know something, she wouldn't just wait around for others to tell him. She had never been shy about asking for answers straight out. And they had been going out for nearly a year, not to mention he still had a few pictures of Pixela around the house. Any woman would have been curious.

And if Soundwave was the one asking, he didn't mind sharing.

He let out a small huff, moving to lay his head back down against her breasts. "She was my best friend. I could talk to her about almost anything. She was intelligent and caring… Angelic, really.”

“Is that why you married her?”

He shook his head. “When I say she was my best friend… I did love her and she was attractive, but… my feelings were generally platonic. I don’t think I would have married her had I not gotten her pregnant.”

Soundwave could somewhat understand. She wouldn’t have married Razorcut either had she never gotten pregnant. But she never considered Razorcut her friend… They had only just started going out at the time. But Pixela and Bombrush had known each other for years prior to them having sex. But if they were just friends, why did they even have sex to begin with?

“Were you two… seeing each other when you impregnated her?”

He chuckled. “No, no… We were young and drunk and stupid one night. When her family found out, they were furious. And here she was, an adult woman allowed to make her own choices, but they threatened to disown her.”

Soundwave let out her own soft laugh, but didn’t comment on it.

“They… wanted her to have an abortion,” he said softly. “But she couldn’t do it. It was the first time she said no to her parents… So they disinherited her and kicked her out of the house.”

“So you married her.”

“I wanted to be there for our son… And I wanted to take responsibility for what happened. I wouldn’t just let her be homeless.”

She expected him to say that. Contrary to how he could act sometimes, Bombrush was a very caring person. He hated seeing people suffer, especially if he somehow had a hand in causing said suffering. It was one of the reasons she allowed herself to fall in love with him, once she got past his overconfident persona.

“Did you… ever love her?”

“Of course I-”

“Romantically, I mean.”

Bombrush paused. That… was complicated. His feelings for Pixela were strong and even now, he still had feelings for her. But they weren’t romantic. She was just… important. Too important for him to really ever forget. He loved her dearly and he had wanted to cherish her and make her happy as his wife, but…

He slowly moved to lie down on his side. Soundwave was surprised when he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his chest. But she snuggled against him anyway, moving herself to lie more comfortably beside him as his hand rubbed her arm. Bombrush buried his face into her hair, breathing in deeply.

Her hair smelled of sex and shampoo. She didn’t use scented shampoos either, but her hair always smelled good… It was a comforting scent, a familiar scent. Pixela used to use fruit scented products, which smelled fine, but Soundwave… It was different. Everything about Soundwave was so much different from Pixela. And everything about Soundwave he loved.

It wasn’t like this with Pixela. She didn’t make his heart race like this or made his fingertips tingle when he touched her skin. He had never gotten so excited and so frightened all at once being in her presence. But with Soundwave… Everything was different. Everything made him feel alive in ways he hadn’t felt before.

“No,” he finally said.

“No?”

He almost had to laugh at how surprised she sounded. But she didn’t know… and honestly, neither did anyone else. The only one who probably knew was Pixela herself, and she was… no longer there.

“I did love her, just never like that… Honestly, Soundwave, you’re the only one I’ve been in love with this much.”

“Are you saying I’m your first love?”

Bombrush laughed. How cliché that would have been? A man his age, falling in love for the first time? It sounded like something out a bad romance novel in the penny section. “No, no… But I haven’t loved anyone as deeply as I love you.”

Soundwave didn’t reply, only pressing into his chest more. She felt childish, but hearing that made her happier than it probably should have. Not that she would ever say that aloud. It would go to the man’s head and his ego would inflate like a hot air balloon. Last thing she needed was to never hear the end of that…

“Did she love you? Romantically.”

“… I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I never asked.”

But he had to admit to himself… She might have. He never confirmed it, but it was just a feeling. Even when he had been horrible, even when she had her episodes, Pixela had devoted herself to him. Before her illness came about, she was a perfect housewife and mother. Caring and doting and always doing whatever needed to be done to make him and their son happy. Even when he told her she didn’t have to, she still did it anyway.

She had told him when they got married that, if he ever found someone he truly loved and wanted to be with, she would divorce him so he could be happy. And he had told her he would do the same for her; she said it probably wouldn’t happen. He had been confused by that first, until… she would talk about growing old together, sitting across from each other in their house with their son and their future grandchildren.

Pixela had dated plenty of boys before marrying him, but she was never like that with them. It pained him to think that she might have been in love with him, even though he didn’t see her in romantic light. And he had been too afraid to ask when she was alive, so he never knew. And a part of him really didn’t want to know either. He wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself for not being able to love her like she loved him.

Soundwave grew a bit concerned when she heard him go silent. She opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, only to let out a small grunt, surprised when Bombrush suddenly moved to pin her down on the bed with his body. His lips then latched onto her throat, sucking gently at the skin as he moved his hips in between her legs.

“Bombrush-?”

“One more time?”

She gave him a look as his kisses descended down her chest. He probably just wanted to change the subject and knew sex would be a good way to distract her… But she understood. He had mentioned before that Pixela was hard to talk about and with good reason. So if he wanted to move on for now, she would be all right with that. And at least this way, she would feel good too.

Maybe tomorrow though, if he was comfortable with it, she could ask a little more about his late wife. Maybe she could share a bit about her ex-husband, if he cared to know. But whatever questions the other had, they were always willing to answer.