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Good Morning

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Karkat frowned as he felt himself beginning to stir. They’d fallen asleep in can town, again, apparently. When he shifted to try look around, he couldn’t spot the mayor, they were instead surrounded by cans. Had they fallen asleep in the middle of the town? Hopefully they hadn’t knocked anything down. Shit would be flipped by all parties if that was the case, and he was so not up for dealing with that.

The arms that were wrapped loosely round his waist tightened, pulling him closer to the warm body. He rolled his eyes, preparing himself for the painful task of waking Dave up, stupid fucker slept like a log. He paused however, when he felt something press against him, something that he couldn’t say he really ever recognised before.

It was long-ish. And hard. And right between Dave’s legs.

His frown became that of confusion, as he tried to wriggle around, attempting to get a hand behind him to get at it. Was there something in his pocket? Did God Tier pyjamas even have pockets? Why would he need a pocket?

He paused in his wriggling when Dave wriggled back, though a more accurate term would be more like grinding. Against his butt.

Karkat froze in place, eyes wide as his think-pan worked at a mile a minute. Was that…the thing? The human dick? Was it unsheathed? Did they even unsheathe, he didn’t really look into it that much, but it certainly hadn’t had any coaxing like a bulge would need, so why would it be out?

He wriggled again, experimentally. It was still there, stiff against him. This called for further investigation.

Turning round in the secure grip he was held in, he found himself face-to-face with Dave, still able to feel the thing, determination set in his mind. The blond still laid fast asleep, lips parted slightly as he breathed deeply. Karkat managed to force his arm between them, palm seeking the spot between his legs. It was definitely attached to him, though Karkat was still confused about why it was out.

He pressed his hand against it, wrapping his fingers round, trying to figure out how wide and long it was. He blinked when he felt a gush of air brushing against his face, looking straight at Dave to find the usually impassive face had shifted to something, what he wasn’t quite sure, but it wasn’t entirely bad. Discomfort mixed with pleasure?

His hand stilled, face burning. That probably confirmed what it was. Though it still didn’t explain why it was fucking out.

He nearly yelped when Dave rocked his hips, feeling it twitch in his hand. That was the only movement it had made, though from what he gathered human dicks didn’t move about much at all.

With a little more manoeuvring and shifting, Karkat had Dave on his back, holding himself up with his knees and free arm, the other still fondling the rod in Dave’s pants. Karkat watched in fascination as Dave’s face changed, the slightest of differences, a tiny pull at the corner of his mouth, the tic of his eyebrow, small shudders that rippled through him. The more he watched, the more Karkat decided he wanted to see exactly what the thing looked like.

Which was how he ended up shuffling out of the tight grip and further down Dave’s body, hands finding the edges of Dave’s pants, hesitating as he realised exactly what he was doing. He was fairly certain if their roles were reversed, he would not be happy about waking to find the other boy stripping him. Then again, he wasn’t the one with the bulge begging for attention.

Sucking in a breath, when Dave shifted again, pants straining against the tent they were being pulled into, Karkat made the decision to deal with the consequences later.

Karkat hooked his fingers under the hem of Dave’s trousers and boxers, heart thumping in his chest, eyes trained on the spot in front of him.

“What the actual fuck are you doing?”

His eyes snapped up, meeting red ones, causing blood to rush to his face. “Um…research?”

Dave raised a brow. “Research?”

“I want to see it.”

“Dude no stop right now you have no idea how embarrassing this is just let go of my pants and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

Karkat huffed, scowling up at the other. “You’re not the one who woke up with a human dick poking your arse.”

Dave’s cheeks started to colour a faint pink, one hand moving to cover his face. “Oh my god.”

“You didn’t see me complaining while I suffered through having my butt violated while your hips rutted against it.”

“I am too tired to deal with this bullshit right now.”

“Then just go back to sleep,” Karkat said decisively.

“Have you never heard of morning wood?”

He paused, waiting expectantly.

“What, don’t trolls get morning wood?”

“What’s morning wood?”

“It’s where you wake up and you have a boner.”

Karkat blinked.

“Just-if you stop I’ll give you more cuddles, how about that?”

“Why do you suddenly want me to stop?”

“What kind of question is that why wouldn’t I want you to stop?”

“When I was stroking it earlier you certainly didn’t look like you wanted me to stop.”

Dave dropped any composure he had left, a look of horror crossing his face. “When you were what?”

Karkat took one hand away from the waistband, moving it back down to the tent, repeating his earlier motions. He snapped his head up when he heard Dave gasp, seeing that his head had fallen back, eyes squeezed shut, lips pursed. Karkat felt his curiosity building again, trying to get a firmer grip on the appendage to stroke it more.


“You’re enjoying it.”

It was a statement more than anything else.

“It’s-it’s not like I get someone else rubbing little Dave very often.”

Karkat abandoned his quest to see the thing, finding Dave’s face to be much more entertaining, sitting upon his knees as he continued to palm the ‘little Dave’ through his pants, in awe as Dave’s face twisted and contorted, much like it had earlier. He thought back to the drawings that they’d made in Rose’s book, trying to remember what they looked like. His hand crept down, searching for a nook or the round things.

Dave let out a frustrated noise, licking his lips in a way that was mildly attractive. “Okay.”

“Okay what?”

There was a tremor in his voice, red eyes meeting Karkat’s dark ones. “You can-do whatever you were doing.”

The smirk that spread across his face at that agreement had Dave looking away, biting down on his lip, the thing in Karkat’s hand twitching again. His hands were at the waistband too quick for him to really care however, not giving Dave time to change his mind again, tugging the red fabric down just enough to reveal what was hidden inside.

It was kind of weird, and by kind of he meant very.

“Please don’t make me ask you to keep going.”

“You’ve certainly changed your tune,” Karkat said, smirk returning, along with his smugness. His fingers wrapped round the muscle-was it a muscle-and he ran his thumb over the tip, watching as small beads of liquid dripped from the top, smearing them round the head. Apparently that was good, because Dave had to stifle a noise, and it wasn’t one of complaint.
“Where’s your nook?” Karkat asked, his other hand dipping behind the balls, trying to find the wet flesh. “Do humans not have them?”

“I’m a dude, dudes don’t have vaginas.”

Karkat had to admit, he was enjoying the fact he was the one making Dave’s voice quake like that. He enjoyed the power he was holding.

“Wait, does that mean you have a troll-gina?”

He glanced up, fingers still teasing the rod, nodding slowly.

“Can I-!” Dave looked around awkwardly, cheeks reddening even more. “Can I touch it?”

It was Karkat’s turn to flush then, the sudden attention his think-pan was giving his nook making it pulse. “I don’t know if I really want your gross, fleshy human hands on my nook, thank you very much.”

“Considering you didn’t give me much choice about having your weird, leathery hands on my cock, I don’t think you’re really in a place to argue.”

Karkat shifted, tightening his hold on the dick, finding it increasingly difficult to say no. He was a young, healthy troll, who didn’t exactly get the offer of having his nook fondled often; it was something his body was reacting to quite violently.

He nodded, moving so that he was lying down next to Dave again, still stroking the dick, his thumb drawing circles round the tip, one hand toying with his balls. Dave’s hands shook slightly as he reached forward, unbuttoning Karkat’s trousers, a look of apprehension on his face as he pushed his hand down the front of Karkat’s boxer shorts.

It passed the ridge of the bone where his bulge was tucked away, pushing down further until it found the folds of his nook, causing a shiver to rush right up his spinal cord, walls of his nook pulsing again, Dave’s fingers sliding against the wetness that was beginning to pool.


He nodded in agreement, eyes fluttering closed, tying not to forget to continue stroking Dave. From this position he could feel their breaths mingling, warm against his lips and cheeks, and he was almost scared to look and see exactly how close they were, thinking about that suddenly expressive face near his, red eyes piercing him. The cock got harder, if that was even possible, and there was enough liquid dripping out to make the movements of his fingers easier against the skin, lubricating the actions.

Karkat didn’t ask for directions, finally looking to the other’s face again, wrapping his hand right round the morning wood, and beginning to move it up and down. Dave groaned, fingers curling against Karkat’s nook, enough to push in the slightest amount, bringing forth a rippling growl from Karkat’s throat.

“Fucking hell,” Dave whispered, voice weak against the pleasure, moving his face to hide against the floor, tilting back again. Karkat’s eyes snapped to the pale expanse of his neck, and he wasted no time in acting.

He latched his lips to the skin, reminding himself that humans were soft and their skin was easily broken, before he began suckling softly, lapping and nipping with his lips, keeping his teeth covered at all times. A jolt of excitement shot through him as Dave rocked into his hand, a long, deep moan pouring from the pale pink lips; warmth seeping off the skin Karkat’s hand was wrapped around, encouraging him to move his hand faster.

He had to bite down slightly when Dave’s fingers began exploring further, pushing in deeper with every thrust, until he could feel the palm of his hand against his bone bulge, feeling his excitement wriggling out from behind the ridged bone.
“The fuck is that?”

“The fuck is what?”

Dave twisted his hand, brushing his palm against the tentabulge. “That.”

“My bulge,” Karkat ground out, grinding his hips down, not appreciating the fact that Dave had pulled his fingers so far out his nook. “Just let it do its thing.”

“It’s moving.”

“No shit, that’s what they do.”

“Your nook pulses and your weird tentacle dick wriggles about-it’s wrapping round my wrist, dude-“

Dude,” Karkat pulled back to glare. “Would you stop your infernal gabbing for once in your life? Now is not the time.”

Dave licked his lips, glancing down at Karkat’s. The troll smirked. Dave swallowed.

“See something you like, cool kid?”

“I’m trying to pretend you’re a girl.”

Karkat’s smirk dropped. He tightened his grip.

“Ow okay I’m sorry please don’t do that.”

“You better be fucking sor-ah!” Karkat felt blood rush to his cheeks as the sound left his lips, embarrassment latching onto him because dear Gog could he have sounded any much more like a pussy. He was too busy enjoying the feeling of Dave’s fingers working inside of him however, not knowing what he was doing but enjoying every second of it.

“I take it that’s a yes to the screwdriver.”

Karkat tried to say something witty, but all that came out was a gargled mess of moans and whimpers. He shut his eyes, forehead finding Dave’s as he tried his best to not look into the smug bastard’s face.

Every inch of his body was on fire, especially the parts that were touching Dave, a moist heat in the air, their smells mingling together, can town disappearing and his entire world focusing on how Dave was filling every sense he had and there were fingers inside him and a wrist moving about in such a way that his bulge was writhing in pleasure and that hot length in his own hand, Dave’s breath picking up speed and depth with every pump of his hand he gave, squeezing lightly or teasing the head.

When he finally opened his eyes once again and his vision was flooded with beautiful red eyes that stared at him with such lust he nearly lost the plot. Pink lips were so close to his own and with just an inch of movement or a slight tilt of his head their lips would meet.

“I think I’m coming,” he breathed out, his insides coiling and tightening, everything focusing on the genetic fluid that was pooling. “Shit-fuck-I can’t-!”

Dave shot forward, pressing their lips together, a mess of lips and teeth and clashing but it was all it took for Karkat to release, his insides exploding as heat rushed from the tips of his toes right to his ears, feeling his genetic material spill out, right as Dave pulled him closer, letting out a groan before a warm liquid covered Karkat’s hand.

His heart was thudding heavily in his chest, his breathing laboured, wrist aching the slightest amount. He couldn’t find it in himself to care.

There was a moment of silence where they stared at each other, soaking in exactly what just happened.

“So,” Karkat started, surprisingly quietly. “That’s what ‘morning wood’ is.”

“Yeah, that’d be it, thus conducts another lesson of Human Customs and Culture one-o-one.”

Karkat shifted uncomfortably as his bulge retracted, his boxers beginning to soak through and stick to his skin. “This is fucking filthy why did we do this in can town of all places.”

“Hey, you were the one who wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Shove off, shitmunching barbarian, no one cares about your opinion.”

Dave lifted his hand from Karkat’s pants, holding it up to the ceiling. “It’s like I just fingered a girl on her period or something like of all the colours you could be it would be red weirdest shit ever man.”

“A girl on her what?”

“You know, her period, where they bleed from their vajayjays for like a week and grow teeth that stop you from having sex with them.”

“That is disgusting,” Karkat growled, moving backwards to get away from Dave. “Why would you even think that comparing my genetic material to something as vile and repulsive as that is in any way an okay thing to do in the current situation get the fuck away from me right the fuck now.”

Dave smirked, wriggling his fingers as he held them out towards Karkat’s face. “I’m coming to get you.”


A loud crash cut Karkat off, the sound echoing around the room.

“I can’t believe you just destroyed the Town Hall, Karkat.”