Finn managed to pretend there was nothing strange in having his own private refresher cubicle attached the room he was assigned in the Resistance base. He didn't think he entirely managed to fool Poe; probably he asked too many questions about what time he was allowed to use it (any time he wanted?) and what the water rations were for the wet shower (as much as he wanted??).
Poe didn't seem to mind, though. He just smiled and reassured Finn again and again that he could do whatever he wanted in the refresher. He even winked, once, and Finn managed not to look around for what he was signaling or ask him what the wink meant. He was learning it was better to just roll with things sometimes.
The next morning he fully intended to use the refresher in a totally normal, routine way, despite the fact that he was the only one in it.
Eliminate waste, check. Clean hands, check.
Perform standard morning discharge...
He quickly discovered that there weren't any screens to watch during his morning discharge. He'd done it without sometimes, when he was out on field exercises and they were using camp latrine setups. But that had always been with his cohort around him going through the same routine. Without a screen to watch the lonely quiet became obvious; the disruption in routine quickly communicated itself to his penis, which remained uncooperatively soft in his hand.
He closed his eyes and focused. It had been weeks since he performed a normal morning hygiene routine. Discharge was necessary. He would start having night-discharges otherwise, or experience involuntary tumescence like he was a spotty-faced cadet again.
He could solve this. He would just remember what ought to be on the screens. He pictured the familiar screen, mentally selecting his favorite target practice sim. Yeah, okay. He could do this. It wasn't hard.
Finn huffed, his mental image dissolving instantly, and looked down, giving himself another squeeze. It definitely was not hard.
He decided not to waste more time on the issue. He was with the Resistance now; he had a private refresher. He could come back and discharge whenever he felt like it. He would get used to it.
In the meantime, there was a wet shower to try out, complete with all the hot water he wanted.
Poe had realized even before Finn woke up that he had picked a challenging person--Force help him, maybe two challenging people--to get himself mixed up with. Finn had been raised practically from birth as a Stormtrooper. Whatever else the First Order had taught him, Poe was pretty sure he wouldn't have learned any of the ways of going about starting a relationship that Poe was used to. Stormtroopers probably got assigned to each other, or--
Poe didn't want to think about what Finn might be used to.
He had tried to sound Rey out a little, before she left on her mission to find Luke Skywalker. She at least had grown up among people--although what he'd seen of the scavenger camps on Jakku didn't give him great hope that Rey would be any nearer to his own frame of reference.
She definitely hadn't seemed to understand what Poe was getting at, so that had been the end of any negotiation about balancing their respective feelings for Finn, let alone exploring any adjoining feelings they might have about each other. The whole point had been moot, with Finn still unconscious and Rey headed off on a quest that might consume years as easily as days. Poe had braced himself for future difficult conversations and set the matter aside.
For some reason he had not thought to brace himself for Finn, on his second day out of sickbay, asking Poe about his masturbatory habits in the middle of lunch in the mess.
"Uh..." Poe glanced around to see who was overhearing this or might be willing to provide covering fire. He and Finn had a table to themselves at the moment, though, and no one was paying them any attention.
He thought about asking Finn to repeat that, but he didn't really want to give everyone a second chance to hear Finn asking, "Do you usually masturbate in your own refresher? Or is there somewhere else?"
"Well, I don't usually, not there," Poe said as evenly as he could. "I have sometimes. I think most people do at least once in a while. I mean, you're naked, it's nice and warm in the wet shower, you--"
Finn looked suddenly appalled. "In the shower? The shower is for getting clean."
Poe mentally upped the difficulty of this whole enterprise by several notches. "Sure, buddy. And beds are for sleeping, but--"
Finn sat back from the table like Poe had just suggested whipping it out in the middle of the mess.
Poe looked down at his plate and poked at his food, giving both of them a minute to absorb this news about the other's worldview. God, if Finn was used to only doing it in the refresher, and not even in the shower, what--
"Is it always alone, though?" Finn asked tentatively. "Or--if you're alone, are there things to watch while you're doing it?"
Poe felt his face go hot, which was stupid. He'd talked about sex and porn with people he wanted to take to bed; for that matter, he'd had sex in his share of refreshers, usually of the not-very-fresh spaceport bar variety. His own--or Finn's--would be a pleasant upgrade.
But he'd never felt about any of those people quite the way he felt about Finn. It had never mattered like this.
"I, uh--yeah, there are things to watch," Poe said, when he had his voice and face more or less under control. He looked up and Finn was watching him with a steady, curious gaze, like Poe's answer didn't matter to him personally at all. "It's kind of--people's preferences are very individual, though, you know? Kind of depends on what things you like. And it doesn't have to be alone. Some people like it best that way, but most think it's better together. I... I like it better together."
"Oh, good!" Finn's sudden smile was dazzlingly bright, and Poe couldn't help smiling back. "Do you--I know you have a team, you probably have a routine, but would you mind if I joined you? I don't mind what we watch, but it's strange doing it alone."
Poe opened his mouth to try to clarify everything Finn seemed to be assuming, and then closed it. He looked down at what was left on his tray and shook his head. Lost cause, time to pull back.
"Let's, uh--let's not talk about this here, Finn."
Finn sat up straight like Poe had just applied an electric shock. "Oh! Sorry, it's--man, while you were eating, too, I shouldn't have--"
Poe shook his head, starting to smile despite himself. At least the topic was open, now, right? At least he could start figuring out where the hell he and Finn were in relation to each other and start plotting some kind of course. "It's okay, I'm happy to talk about it. It's not putting me off my food. It's just--kind of private. You don't do it with just anyone, right? And you don't want just anyone hearing this discussion, either."
Finn looked faintly puzzled again, but before Poe could worry about which part of that seemed weird to him, he was nodding again and smiling. Poe stood up, grabbing his tray, and Finn immediately followed suit, letting Poe usher him out.
Poe guided Finn to his quarters, just down the corridor from Finn's own. The layout was the same; Finn could see through the half-open door that Poe's refresher was as small as his own. It would be difficult to fit two in there, let alone any kind of team.
Finn's eyes went to Poe's bunk, the same generous meter wide as his own, with a soft-looking pillow and brightly-colored non-standard blankets. It looked clean enough. Poe probably hadn't really meant--he couldn't have meant--
"Have a seat," Poe said behind him, and Finn jumped, jerking his gaze away from Poe's bed.
Poe smiled and tapped the back of a chair Finn had barely noticed, pushed up to a little table just inside the room. There were two chairs, and once Finn sat down, Poe pulled out the other and sat across from him, leaning in with his elbow on the table.
Finn mirrored him automatically, bringing their heads together nearly close enough to--
Finn wasn't thinking about that. He just wanted to find out if Poe would mind being cohort-mates of a sort, for morning discharge, or let Finn join in with his team's routine.
Poe didn't lean back. His eyes were steady on Finn, searching for something, and Finn almost managed not to squirm. "Okay, so tell me about how this works where you're from. I think our customs--routines--are a little different, and I don't want to make it weird for you."
Finn sat back a little, feeling a mix of disappointment and something like vertigo. How different could it be? It was just discharge. Reproductive hygiene was different from other kinds, but--wait, did Poe think Finn was talking about actual reproduction?
That must be different in the Resistance, but surely Finn hadn't come anywhere near meriting a chance? He hadn't seen any babies around--but no, of course they wouldn't be on D'Qar, this was a military base. Babies and children would be kept away somewhere safe; people here would just send samples. Did Poe think Finn was angling for the right to send a sample, or neglecting his duty to collect one, or...?
"Finn? Finn, breathe. It's okay."
Finn took a deep breath and let it out slowly, keeping his eyes on Poe, whose brow was wrinkled now in concern.
"Look," Poe said. "We're not the First Order, so people do things their own way. That means there are lots of options. It's all okay, however you like to do things, whatever you're used to. Nobody's going to push you to do things one way or another. Definitely not me. I'm here for what you want, buddy. I just need to know what that is. Tell me about how it used to be, okay?"
Finn swallowed hard. "I want to do it the Resistance way. Your way. I'm not First Order either."
Poe nodded. "I know, I know you're not. But this isn't battle orders, it's just--" Poe waved toward the half-open door. "Your routine in the refresher. I know it's weird to describe it, but just... Try? Like I'm from an agametic species and I don't know anything about how humans work. Okay?"
Finn nodded, feeling steadier. Right. It was just routine, that was all. Poe wanted him to describe it. He could do that, and then they would realize they were really the same after all, and they could still be cohort-mates.
"Every morning, I, we--my cohort, or work-team--maybe eight or twelve of us--maybe sixteen or twenty when we were younger, organized in teams of four--we would all go to the refresher at the same time in the morning. Big refresher, you know?" Finn flung his arms out wide, picturing that gleaming clean space, flushers and sinks and sonic showers all lined up.
"And everyone uses the flusher first, and then cleans their hands--" Poe was nodding along, so far so good. "And then we would go back to the flushers for morning discharge."
Poe went still.
"Masturbation," Finn added, using again the Republic word he'd learned from the bits of propaganda they'd been shown to teach them about their enemies. Maybe the First Order word wasn't obvious; it did also refer to weapons, after all.
"And the screens would activate, after we washed our hands," Finn went on, searching Poe's face for some sign of recognition. He'd said he liked not doing it alone; he'd said there were things to watch. "I usually did a shooting sim, but there were puzzles and things. Personal choice was allowed, except sometimes there were mandatory videos to watch. News bulletins, or messages from the Supreme Leader, or just--I didn't understand some of them."
Poe looked down, rubbing his forehead. From behind his hand he said, "You would... masturbate while watching messages from Snoke."
"Not all the time!" Finn said quickly. "I wasn't asking to watch something like that with you. Just a--maybe a flying sim, or something? That's probably what you like, right? If you have one that works on eye and voice, I like having both hands..."
For a few awful seconds Poe didn't say anything. Finn couldn't imagine how different Resistance routines were--beds?--but Poe had asked him. Poe had said it was all right to do things the way he was used to.
"Yeah, me too," Poe said finally, looking up with a smile. He looked tired, but his smile seemed genuine. "I like having both hands free. But I, uh--I also like sitting down, you know? So I can enjoy how it feels, instead of just getting it over with as fast as I can."
Finn blinked, trying to imagine it. It did feel good, of course; all bodily functions felt good in a certain way. He could admit that discharge was usually his favorite. He couldn't imagine dragging it out for long, but then yesterday he couldn't have imagined an unrationed wet shower and today he had stayed under the spray for six minutes. Not even doing anything for two of those minutes! Just standing there. With hot water pouring over him.
Finn nodded firmly. "I think I could do that. If that's what you like to do."
He looked down at the chairs. There were two, conveniently, and they could be moved anywhere in the room, so...
"I meant it about the bed, too," Poe said, and Finn looked up sharply. He had to be joking this time.
"Come on, it doesn't make that much mess, right?" Poe asked, sounding like one of those guys who insisted that they didn't have to sterilize their hands after urinating because urine was basically sterile already. Poe seemed to realize he was going too far, raising his hands placatingly. "I'll put down a tarp, okay?"
Finn looked at the bed. It would be soft under them. For a moment he imagined sitting in a perfectly-contoured gunner's seat to discharge, with Poe behind him in the pilot's seat--or Poe and Rey both--on the Falcon maybe--not really flying, but training with sims, and--
He shook his head slightly. That was worse than beds, making that kind of mess in a place where they worked. "I, uh. That seems. Okay."
"And a flying sim," Poe added. "Right? And then--we wash our hands after, I guess? We're not using the refresher for the rest of the routine, but you could take a shower if you needed to."
Finn shrugged. "Hands, uh--hands is enough. Sometimes when I was younger, I would--I had permission to discharge more than once a day. Most of us did, because our hormones weren't balanced yet. So then--if it wasn't the morning routine, we would just wash our hands afterward."
"And you got in some extra time with your blaster sim that way, too, huh?" Poe asked, smiling. His voice was almost the same as when he had winked at Finn yesterday.
Finn smiled and shrugged. "I mean, it came in handy sometimes..."
"Handy," Poe said under his breath, his voice going uneven as if he were just a cadet whose hormones weren't under control. "Yeah, okay. We can do that, Finn. Later tonight? After supper?"
Finn nodded eagerly. "After supper. Thanks, Poe!"
"No problem, buddy," Poe said, smiling.
He still looked tired; he really ought to sleep more. Well, discharge wouldn't take long, and then Finn could tell him to get some rest. He would already be practically in bed; that would be handy.
Poe was doing his day of mandatory downtime between courier missions, so he didn't actually have any assigned tasks to occupy him between lunch and supper. Luckily, there was never a shortage of work for willing hands around the base. His security clearance promptly won him a spot helping to triage the messages flooding in for General Organa from all over the surviving worlds of the New Republic.
Poe had a knack for sizing people up. He'd known he could trust Finn practically the second he took his helmet off, and that had turned out--
No, he wasn't thinking about Finn right now.
He was working. He watched snippets of holo messages one after another, sorting them by level of urgency and trustworthiness of the sender. It was just like the secret missions the general had sent him on from time to time, except dozens in a row, a minute or two each.
After a couple of hours of that he felt nearly as exhausted as if he'd been flying tight maneuvers the whole time. Everyone sending a message was desperate, even the liars. It wore on him, reminding him of everything and everyone he'd lost in the last few weeks.
The admiral caught Poe rubbing his eyes and bodily pulled him away from his console. "You're on rest rotation, Dameron. Go outside. Stop working."
Poe was just trying to think of a good way to say this is still more restful than worrying about having a date tonight (with someone who doesn't know it's a date) to have sex (that he doesn't know is sex), when Finn himself rushed in.
He grinned at the sight of Poe. "Hey! Can I borrow you for a minute?"
Poe glanced back at the admiral, who smiled slightly and gave Poe a little push in Finn's direction. Poe surrendered to the inevitable.
It wasn't until they were outside, heading down a path into the woods Poe had never actually traveled, that it occurred to him to ask. "Where are we going?"
Finn stopped, looking around the trees without meeting Poe's eyes. "Well, I'm not sure, that's why I brought you. Mina sent me out to gather Force berries."
Poe suppressed a wince, and wondered how he was going to explain it to Finn. "Oh. Well..."
"So I figure what we do is, we find the most poisonous thing that grows around here that won't kill us just by touching it," Finn went on, still looking around. "And then I can bring back a big armful and say, look! I found the Force berries! And they looked so tasty I ate a pound of 'em on my way back."
Poe was startled into an undiplomatic laugh, and Finn finally met his eyes, grinning. "Come on, man! You think we didn't have pranks?"
Poe shook his head, still laughing, full of so much pride and warmth and wanting--full of all the things he'd been trying so hard not to think about the last few hours. He couldn't hold it back anymore. He put both hands on Finn's shoulders and pressed a clumsy, hasty kiss to Finn's smiling mouth.
Finn went still under Poe's hands and lips, and Poe made himself be still too. He squeezed his eyes shut, thinking, Well, you had to tell him, you had to find out whether he wanted this.
But in that second while Poe was bracing himself to face the consequences, Finn's hands pressed against his sides, hot over his ribs and clinging tight. Finn's lips pushed back against his, returning the kiss even more clumsily than Poe had started it. Poe's heart was racing so frantically he had to pull back and look.
Finn was looking at him with something like wonder shining in his eyes. He didn't look confused at all, and Poe's mouth hung open, wondering if somehow it could be easy. Maybe this was something Finn did know, just like he knew what it meant when someone sent you off on a made-up errand.
"That was--that was kissing, right?" Finn said. "I mean. Wow, that was a good kiss, Poe, I liked that. We should do that again. You wanna do that again?"
Yeah, Poe was not out of the woods yet.
He glanced around at the literal woods they were in. D'Qar's forests weren't all that different from what he'd grown up with on Yavin--green leaves, trees--so he had an idea of what to look for to come up with something poisonous, and what to avoid in the meantime. He could see a promising pattern of light and shade off to the north of the path. Refuge, privacy, and something better: a good high place.
"Hey," Poe said. "Come on, let's find a good tree."
Finn frowned, his delight fading into uncertainty. Poe squeezed his shoulders and gave him a quick kiss. "Yeah, I want to do that again. But I want to climb a tree with you, too. How are you at tree-climbing?"
"I can climb," Finn said immediately, and he caught Poe's hand as Poe turned off the path.
Poe squeezed his hand and shot him a smile, holding on as he led Finn toward the clearing he'd spotted.
"There's this tree back home, where I grew up," Poe said.
He'd gotten pretty good at talking about the tree without sounding completely weird about it; it was reassuring to know that, for once, if he missed the mark the person he was talking to probably wouldn't notice. "It's my favorite place in the galaxy. Getting up high like that--it's like you're just about to take off, that last moment when you've still got ground under you but you can feel the lift--"
His heart jumped at the sight of a tree at the far edge of the clearing: it was perfect, with a thick gnarled trunk and sturdy spreading limbs that stretched over the little river. He felt an echo of the same calm joy he felt every time he went home to the tree behind his father's house. That was safe, at least. He'd had a message from his dad days ago, assuring him that everyone on Yavin 4 was all right. Including the tree out back of the house.
Poe looked over at Finn, who was looking back and forth from Poe to the tree.
Okay, possibly Poe had been weird enough that Finn noticed, but...
"At important times in my life," Poe said. "If I'm not in a cockpit, I want to be near a tree. And this is... this is important to me, Finn."
"Well, what are we waiting for, then?" Finn struck out toward the tree, hauling Poe along by the hand. They wound up running to it together, swarming up it like kids and meeting again in the branches. Finn kissed Poe while he was still belly-down on a limb, and Poe surged into it, kissing back while he threw a leg over to steady himself.
"So I..." Poe pulled back, putting his hands on Finn's shoulders to stave off more kisses. "Finn, I've been wanting to do that for a while, but not just kissing. I want--I like you so much, and I want--"
He wanted everything, a lot of things, and he faltered over the words of negotiation.
"Boyfriend?" Finn tried. "I mean, be my boyfriend? I could be yours? Like that?"
Poe raked a hand through his hair and laughed helplessly. It wasn't a word he'd applied to any of his relationships in about fifteen years, but it would work. "Yeah. That's what I want. Is that--have you had boyfriends before?"
Finn shook his head sharply. "Boyfriends are a civilian thing, right? Like families. I mean, a Republic--a not-First-Order thing. Boyfriends--or, or girlfriends--they kiss and touch and make irrational decisions about each other."
Poe opened his mouth but no sound came out; he felt like he'd just had the breath knocked out of him.
"I mean, we--we kind of started right there--not the kissing! But the irrational decisions, right?" Finn said. "That's--that's why they taught us about civilians and all the ways they connect with each other, because when people have connections like that, sometimes it can be used against them, but mostly you have to watch out, because people can be reckless if someone they care about is in danger. They do things they didn't know they could do. Things they couldn't do, any other way."
Poe felt the same surge of warmth he had down on the path, because Finn did understand this, or at least the essentials of it. That was love he was talking about, even if Finn only had a Stormtrooper's words for it. He'd learn the rest as they went along, as long as that was what he wanted. "Yeah. Yeah, that's... That's us, Finn."
Finn grinned, then frowned and licked his lips, looking down. "Is it only--if you have a boyfriend, is that--I mean, now that you're my boyfriend, should I not--"
Poe caught his hand and squeezed again. "You feel like that about Rey too, don't you?"
Finn nodded, looking up with a tentative smile, and Poe grinned. "Good! I thought so. Glad I wasn't reading you wrong. We'll work out how to share, okay? When she gets back, we'll talk--all three of us together. Maybe, um..."
Poe tried to imagine Finn and Rey navigating this conversation alone. "Maybe don't go too far in talking with her about it until I'm there, okay? I want to be there. I don't know what she's used to from Jakku, but I bet we can make it work."
"I know she doesn't mind holding hands," Finn offered. "Not really. Or hugging. Do you think all three of us..."
"Maybe, or maybe it's you and me and then you and her," Poe said. He wasn't even going to make guesses about where Rey's interests lay; that was advanced three-dimensional relationship navigation and he and Finn were still somewhere around getting a two-wheeler down a trail without crashing. "Like I said, we can't decide anything for her, okay? We have to wait until she's back. But in the meantime..."
Poe pulled Finn into a slower kiss, carefully controlled, and Finn relaxed into it, parting his lips and letting Poe lead. Poe could almost feel him working out the best vectors of approach, the right pressure to use. He let himself sink into it, the caress of Finn's mouth and the warmth of his body, the safe quiet of the forest around them.
Finn pulled away just when they seemed to be getting somewhere, not just breaking the kiss but angling his body out of contact with Poe's. His fast breathing turned measured, his shoulders stiff.
Poe closed his eyes. Because Finn had been trained to think of getting turned on as an urgent need to use the refresher, plus overtones of being stared at by Snoke or hearing the First Order gloat about their atrocities. Of course he didn't want to keep going after he started to respond. Poe would scare him right out of this tree if he tried to push it. He wasn't going to push, not until Finn wanted to try going down that path. There was no rush.
Poe leaned against the trunk of the tree, the bark cool and rough against his cheek, and reminded himself. There was no rush.
"Do you still," Finn said, not looking at him. "Is it--if we're boyfriends, can we still be cohort-mates, too? Or is that..."
Cohort-mates, as in people who jerk off next to each other while playing a flight sim.
Poe straightened up and rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, Finn, we can. That's actually kind of--for a lot of people, at least where I come from, that usually goes together. It's one of the ways people like to be close to someone they care about, sharing that. That's why I wanted to do it with you, because I like you that way."
Finn was slowly turning toward him the whole time Poe spoke, and his wary look dissolved into relief, if not excitement. Poe was equally relieved. He had threaded that needle well enough not to sound like some kind of terrifying fetishist by Stormtrooper standards.
"Do you think Rey... no, I know, we have to wait until she's back and ask her."
"You got it, buddy," Poe said. He wanted to reach out, try for another kiss, but Finn was still holding himself stiffly, keeping a little distance. "Now come on, I bet we can find something toxic along the riverbank here."
Finn gave a huge, bright smile, and he was halfway down the tree before Poe made himself move from that spot.
Finn forced himself to eat his full portions at supper that night, pushing away the thought of what would happen after, or what had happened that afternoon. Both were equally hard--difficult--hard--to ignore, since he was sitting across from Poe again.
Poe kept smiling, and his lips looked redder than usual, his dark eyes brighter. He winked twice, and the second time Finn made a helpless, uncontrollable noise while he was choking back the question about what it meant. Poe smiled with all his teeth and his foot nudged against Finn's under the table.
Finn wanted to kiss him, touch him. He wanted so many things he could hardly hold them all in his head.
But discharge first, because it had obviously been much too long. He'd gotten the urge while he was kissing Poe. It hadn't progressed as far as getting hard, but that tingly warning sensation had turned his stomach, and he'd had to pull away before it got any worse.
At least if his body was that badly in need of discharge he shouldn't have any trouble getting the job done quickly, despite the strange circumstances. If they were quick, he could have a little more time with Poe after. Finn could help him clear the tarp away, maybe, and find out if that colorful blanket was as soft and warm as it looked...
Finn focused on Poe, who had gathered up his tray and cup and was obviously ready to stand up and leave. Finn looked down and realized that he'd finished his own meal without noticing. His stomach clenched around it. After supper. Now it was time.
Finn gathered his own things and stood up, following Poe out of the mess for the second time that day.
Back in Poe's quarters, there was already a silvery-gray tarp spread over the bed. Finn recognized it from the hangar where pilots and techs worked on the X-wings; they would cover damaged hull sections with tarps like this, or spread out parts on them. It made sense that a pilot like Poe would choose something like this for his biological maintenance activities too.
"So, uh..." Poe had one hand in his hair, ruffling it uncertainly as he stood by the bunk. "I'm guessing when you do the morning routine, you take all your clothes off? But other times..."
Finn felt a brief, disorienting surge of interest at the thought of seeing Poe with his clothes off, maybe even touching skin to skin. They could hug like that, lie down together so close and so warm...
But no. Discharge first.
"Yeah, um, other times I just unfasten enough to reach?" Finn offered. Discharge didn't have to be a big thing, just a few minutes, a quick wash of hands, and then maybe they could do other stuff. Boyfriend stuff.
Poe nodded quickly and gestured to the bunk. "Pick your spot, then."
Finn considered. Poe had said he liked to have both hands free, the same as Finn, so they should both have elbow room on both sides. Finn sat down on the bunk, nearer the door, leaving half an arm's length between his left side and the end of the bunk. He could see Poe mentally dividing up the space and coming to the same conclusion; he sat down half an arm's length from the other end.
"Okay, so I thought this one would be good," Poe said, touching something to activate a holo projection. Finn thought briefly of BB-8 and was suddenly glad that the little droid wasn't present to witness this, even though he was used to being monitored from practically every angle. There had never been any danger of a First Order monitoring system giving him a thumbs up for his performance--or withholding one and chirping incomprehensibly instead.
"We each do our own run through the sim," Poe explained, bringing up the menus. "So you can have whatever difficulty and speed settings you want."
Finn locked his gaze on the center of the left-side projection, and it flashed to indicate that he had eye control now. He flicked quickly through menus, setting his own preferences while he unfastened his pants. In his peripheral vision he could see Poe setting up his own sim run, and he could hear the little sounds of Poe's hands, opening his clothes and getting ready.
He could also feel it: every motion Poe made rustled the tarp and shifted the mattress. Finn felt the vibrations carry through, so he couldn't help being aware of exactly what Poe was doing.
Finn focused all the more intently on his own sim, starting up the run as he closed his hand around his penis, already getting firm and thick. The tingly too-much feelings were already starting, and he knew this was going to be intense; it always was after even a day or two skipped. Finn gritted his teeth and focused on the sim, guiding his ship through the beginner's asteroid field as his hands moved in the familiar patterns and rhythms.
He was jostled slightly by Poe doing the same beside him, the mattress bouncing a little. Finn hit an asteroid, and the burst of flame was accompanied not only by a warning chirp from the sim but a little ha from Poe.
Finn dared to glance at Poe's sim, gracefully swooping through a much more complicated field. Well, if Poe could throw him off, Finn could do the same. He spread his legs wider on the bunk, exaggerating his motions and bouncing harder on purpose. Poe cursed softly under his breath--Finn saw light flare on his side of the sim--and Finn grinned and focused on his own path, moving his hands and hips faster as the sensations built toward the inevitable end.
His own ship crashed, and Finn hurried to restart before he could lose the rhythm and focus required. He bit down on his lip, hands moving fast now, almost an edge of pain as the feeling built low in his belly.
And then relief, at last, the final sensation of discharge flashing brightly through him as semen pulsed out. Finn adjusted the angle of his penis, making sure it all landed neatly on the tarp between his legs. He did not neglect to follow through, continuing the brisk motions until discharge was absolutely complete, and then three more slightly painful repetitions, just to be sure.
His ship had crashed again; in his peripheral vision he saw that Poe's was still flying, though redline warnings flashed in every corner of the display. Poe was still moving his hands, his breathing ragged.
Finn hesitated, his curled hands hanging between his thighs. He wanted to get up, wash, get rid of the mess, but Poe was still using the tarp, and moving would draw attention to the disparity of their performances. Finn had often dawdled at the flusher after he finished, not wanting to make it obvious that he had been quickest of all his team by such a wide margin. He could wait with Poe, too.
Finn started another round of the sim, not letting his eyes stray to Poe's exceptionally poor performance. He had distracted Poe too much, obviously. He hadn't meant to be cruel, only playful, joining in the joke, but maybe he'd gone too far. Poe let out a breath that sounded almost pained, and Finn winced.
What if Poe didn't want to discharge with him anymore? He shouldn't have--
Poe definitely sounded like he was in pain, breathless and a little desperate.
"Yeah," Finn said immediately, even though it was weird as hell to talk during discharge. He hoped Poe wasn't going to fail entirely, but his hands were still moving and his ship was still flying. Poe hadn't given up yet, and Finn was already finished, so Poe wasn't throwing him off.
"Could you," Poe's voice was really unsteady now. "Could you just--talk? So I know you're there?"
Finn thought of Poe feeling alone. Instantly he thought of Poe strapped to the interrogation frame, all alone, thinking he would never see his friends again. He thought of Poe thrown clear of the TIE fighter, lost by himself in the desert on Jakku without even a jacket.
"Yeah," Finn said. "Hey, Poe, I'm right here seeing you lose at this flight sim--"
A flash of light went over the screen on Poe's side of the sim as Finn spoke, a final crash. The menu screen dimmed, like Poe had his eyes closed, but Poe's hands kept moving audibly.
Finn had to keep talking, so Poe would know he wasn't alone. Why didn't he already have a team for this? Hadn't anyone from his squadron known to invite him, to be sure he wasn't alone?
"You're not alone, I'm here," Finn said firmly. "I'm here--I'm not going anywhere. I'm your boyfriend now, and I'll be with you whenever you need--"
Poe's breath hitched in what sounded like pain, but Finn caught the sound of his hands moving faster, and a liquid patter against the tarp.
"Okay?" Finn said after a few seconds.
Poe gave a ragged little laugh. "Yeah, Finn. Thanks."
Poe kept his eyes closed as he came down from an orgasm that had been way better than it had any right to be. He hadn't so much as touched Finn, hadn't even looked at him. The only thing that made it different from jerking off alone was Finn's earnestly encouraging voice and the hope it gave him that this might not be the best they could ever do.
His whole body felt warm and loose, with a greedy let's-go-again tingle inspired by that thought, but--no. Ever was not today. He knew well enough to know that sometimes you had to declare victory and stop fighting, leave the next objective for another day.
"Right," Poe said, opening his eyes. Finn was still sitting beside him, and Poe dared to steal a sideways glance. Finn's pants were still undone, revealing a dark triangle of lower abdomen, but he'd tucked his dick away already. His hands now rested on his thighs, turned up and fingers curled in, awaiting washing.
"Come on, let's get washed up," Poe said. "The bed's comfier without this tarp on it, and when I was setting up the flight sim I ran across a holo I want to show you. I mean, if you don't mind staying a little while?"
"Oh!" Finn sat up straight, and Poe figured it was safe to look directly at him.
Safe was maybe the wrong word for the eager brightness of Finn's eyes, but Finn looked back at him without any sign of suspecting that Poe was engaging in an alarming sexual eccentricity.
"Yeah, I could stay, I'd like that," Finn said quickly. "I haven't seen a lot of Resistance holos, is it--does it have..."
Finn trailed off.
"Boyfriends?" Poe asked with a smile. He stood up, and Finn immediately stood up with him. They crowded into Poe's little cubicle of a refresher together to wash their hands and get their clothes in order.
Finn gave him a hopeful look in the mirror and Poe grinned, trying not to notice how red-cheeked he was, studying Finn's face under the brighter light instead. He thought there might be a trace of a hot flush on the tops of his ears; it would take some practice to be able to see Finn blush, but Poe was willing to put in the time.
"Yeah, there are boyfriends," Poe said. "And one of them has a girlfriend too, how about that?"
There had been kind of a lot of holos structured that way, in the years since the Battle of Endor; Poe had been ten when one of his classmates told him it was because of General Solo and General Organa and Commander Skywalker. They'd all shared the same fascinated horror at the idea, and then it just became commonplace knowledge. The holos weren't actually about the heroes of the Rebellion, after all, and none of them were secretly brother and sister in the stories.
Well, hardly ever.
Finn checked his pants for stray spots of come with no sign of self-consciousness, so Poe did the same. Not something he'd had to worry about it a long damn time, but he seemed to have managed it.
He led Finn back out into his room, and Finn showed no squeamishness about helping him bundle up the tarp, and made no objection to Poe setting it aside to be cleaned later. When they settled down on the bunk together again, Finn sat closer, and Poe felt like a kid again, slipping his arm cautiously around Finn's shoulders as he cued up the holo with his other hand.
It was set on old Alderaan, with everybody in five layers of clothing and using their most exquisite manners. There were a few kisses, but hardly even any implications of sex. Poe figured holos like this would be a gentle way to ease Finn into the whole concept of how romantic relationships actually worked, giving him some of the same models to work from that Poe had had when he was a kid.
Finn cuddled into him readily, slipping one arm around Poe in return, and Poe smiled. They just needed time to figure things out. Finn was a fast learner; in a few weeks he'd probably have the hang of everything.
Early the next morning, an hour before his duty shift technically started, BB-8 woke Poe up to tell him the General wanted him.
She's going to brief you for a mission, BB-8 helpfully informed him. Flying escort for Rey and Master Luke. They're coming home today.