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Our Wounds and Our Healing

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“This isn’t weird?” Lydia asks. Her lipgloss is strawberry-flavoured and two seconds ago Gigi had the briefest taste of it.

Gigi starts to answer that she hadn’t thought Lydia would mind about weird, but manages to catch herself. It’s been a little while and Gigi wasn’t around for the worst of it but Lydia might not be okay with the notion that she doesn’t pay attention to what other people think of her choices. She asks, “Why weird?”

“Umm... I’m pretty sure my sister is banging your brother?”

“They haven’t got that far yet,” Gigi says with certainty. “They’re still at the awkward maybe hand-holding maybe just happened to both be swinging our hands the same direction stage.” She knows, she has the pictures. She also tweeted the pictures, to let the followers decide what was going on there. Fitz went a little bit Perez on them, to get revenge for some unspecified wrong William allegedly did to him.

“Huh,” Lydia says, “I never had that stage.” Before Gigi can reply, Lydia adds, “Still, I guess it’s better than the ‘do you like me, vlog once for yes, vlog twice for oh-em-gee-drama’ boresfest.”

“Definitely.”

Lydia shakes her head so her red hair, still growing back out, flies into her face. “You’re sure? We’re not going to end up some freaky pissed-off hashtag for your followers, all up in the Dizzie grill?”

“I’m sure.”

Lydia bites her lip.

“But if you’re not sure,” Gigi says. She takes her hands off Lydia’s waist. She smiles, tries to indicate as clearly as possible that whatever Lydia wants is fine. It is.

Lydia grabs her hands and puts them back. She flicks her eyes up to meet Gigi's. “Honestly,” Lydia says, “I think Lizzie might be on Team Gigi. She like never shuts up about you.”

“She talks about you a lot too.”

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well, drama.”

“No, not just- lots of things. Your classwork, and all the stuff you three got up to when you were younger. There was a story about Disneyland?”

“Yeah,” Lydia says fondly, “Mickey was totes rude to Jane. I may have kicked him in the mouseballs." She hesitates for only a moment. "I was like ten! And he shouldn’t have been ignoring her, it’s not her fault she’s quiet.”

Gigi grins. "Yeah. Stuff like that."

Lydia shrugs, as though she could care less what Lizzie thinks, but Gigi knows better than to believe her. After Lizzie got that phonecall and ran back home, Gigi went looking for Lydia's vlogs. She watched them all and then, when she was done, she called William and cried for a little while. She waited until she was steadier before she reached out, until Lydia's 'no one's ever-' didn't sound like a bad memory. And then she emailed Lizzie and said, "Give your sister my number, tell her to call me whenever."

That was months ago, another two gone now since they actually met in real life, and Gigi can just about see the Lydia of the first videos. Today they almost kissed. Lydia's hands cross under Gigi's, settling on her waist. Gigi reaches up with one hand to push a loose strand of Lydia's hair behind her ear. "Well, I think you're pretty amazing too."

Lydia's cheeks pink, and she grins. "You're not so bad yourself. Not quite the Ly-dee-yah but you know." Her grip on Gigi tightens a little, holding onto her hips now. "Totes adorbs. We kind of match."

That is, Gigi can safely say, the first time anyone has said that about her. She touches her forehead to Lydia's. Lydia takes a deep breath, like it's the bravest thing she's ever done. Then she meets Gigi's eyes, and kisses her.