How did I get here? Texting you tonight
geese flying over and I’m sitting on the roof,
a thousand lights are on in thousand windows
and no one here knows who I am but you.
I stare at my phone with a familiar ache
like the summer I won gold, before I lost it all
and even when I danced like the sun on the lake
the crowd’s eyes stripped me like they wanted me to fall.
Got to see what’s coming
— balance loss and doubt
when people who don’t know you
would leave you bleeding out
and the ones you thought you knew
can’t see you in the shade
I’ve always been afraid.
You saw me crumpled like a sweat-stained jersey
saw me fall on the ice and got me up again
coming at me in the dark on a cold fall morning
my captain, my brother, my best friend —
You’re skimming at my back, put a hand on my shoulder
and we’re skating on sunlight, see it rise,
we’re laughing with a kick like a cup of coffee
and I thought it was enough — until you held my eyes
I didn’t see you coming.
Touch me. Make it real.
I never thought you’d see me
— I never thought you’d feel
the heat in my body
like a Georgia summer day.
God, don’t look away.
I’m peeling the apples
we picked on Sunday.
The barn smelled like cider.
We could hear the sea.
Your hands on my back,
we’re breathing together
the core in my fingers
and a pulse beating free.
You taste juice on my palm
in the one place I belong
and city sounds wash over
like breakers on the sand.
When did this become something
I’d be willing to die for —
What kind of world
would make me take that stand?
I touch you in the dark on a bare new morning
a gash on your shoulder and tape on your chin
and I’m floating on your voice but I can’t shake the warning
— double exposure imprinted on my skin
and everything is changing. I’m lifting like an axel
flying on instinct like a hand to a ball
but you’re with me, you’re around me and all that matters
you’re running in my blood and I won’t let you fall
We don’t know what’s coming
we’re lying here awake
you know my hands are cold
and you feel my body shake.
I swear the center’s gonna hold
until we come into the light
I’ll hold you tonight