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Something Worth Leaving Behind

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I’ll probably never dream a dream
and watch it turn to gold.
I know I’ll never lose my life
to save another’s soul.

I may not go down in history;
I just want someone to remember me.

~ Lee Ann Womack

 

 





He knew he had made a colossal error in judgment as her slight fingers laced with his tightly and led him from the Bronze.

Her hand was too cool, too dry, and while his libido screamed that this was indeed a promising hallmark, suggesting a woman who was experienced and for whatever unknown reason wanted to experience something with him, the quieter, more logical part of his mind which could still function in this lust-induced haze screamed in warning protest.

A beautiful blonde woman – not girl – had whispered silken longings and fiery promises into his eager teenaged ear and suddenly nothing else mattered; neither his parents nor school, not his best friend or Willow’s ridiculous crush on said best friend, not the new girl who carried kindling in her purse, and not Cordelia’s countless impatient rejections.

So how could he let this opportunity pass? He knew it would never repeat itself; that just wasn’t his kind of luck.

He had accepted long ago that he wouldn’t be accompanying Will to an Ivy Leaguer or riding Cordy’s coattails along her path to further greatness. Besides, he had Xander, who was the best. They’d finish out school, maybe drive around the country after, come back and work dead-end jobs and hang out at the Bronze until they hit thirty and were forcibly ejected. And he didn’t mind; he was looking forward to it.

But right now, there was Darla, who wanted him, and he wanted so badly to be wanted that he allowed it to override everything else: a polite goodbye to his friends, a parting shot to Cordelia, and his own survival instinct. And, anyway, this was Sunnydale. Nothing ever happened in this town, so why should something start now, with him? He was too boring.

He knew better, but refused to admit it.

So he wasn’t too surprised when Darla led him to a cave or when her face changed into something that belonged in the nightmares of Freddy Krueger. And as the light dimmed within him, he found it ironic that, for the first time, he felt truly alive.