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Finger First

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It was a slow progression.

Jared wondered if Jensen ever even thought about it, if he even realised how things had changed through all the time they'd been together.

It was all Jared's fault, though, and he'd be the first to admit that. Everyone had their own little quirks, their own little secret kinks. Only that not everyone was able to speak up about them or even admit their own desires to themselves. Jared was lucky that way. His 'secret kink' wasn't anything too outrageous and he was so fucking thankful for that. He'd been able to indulge from time to time with previous boyfriends and hook-ups, even if it wasn't to the extreme that he ultimately longed for. Sure some of them had been a little irked by his insistence about it – the intimacy of it, perhaps? Or maybe just the fact that it was in…that place – but then others had been fine with it for a few appropriately-timed minutes here and there. Either way, it had been enough to sate him in the short term, enough to calm the fire.

Then Jensen had come along.

They'd met through mutual friends, at some sort of party at some person's house whom neither of them knew. They'd spent hours on the back porch, beers in hand, just talking. Jared liked to think he'd known right then and there that Jensen was the one, the perfect yin to his yang or whatever you wanted to call it. They'd kissed and swapped contact details before the end of the night, but it wasn't until Jared had been wading through the next morning's hangover that the doubts had started creeping in. Jensen had said he wasn't all the way out of the closet yet. He'd said he didn't have a lot of relationship experience with other men. Jared was an all-in kind of guy – he was handsy, he could be a little possessive, when he fell he fell hard and wanted to shout it from the rooftops for all to hear. Any or all of those things could have sent someone like Jensen running for the hills, so Jared had made sure to keep things dialled down at the beginning.

He'd started off slow, mild, vanilla. There was hand-holding, café dates, chaste kisses, and hands firmly above the belt.

Even when Jensen had said he was ready for more Jared kept himself in check. They'd worked so hard, so long, together, to get that far. It would have been so stupid, such a waste, if Jared had suddenly hopped out of the marathon and into the 100-metre sprint. Not to mention that Jensen had proven to be his perfect match in every other possible aspect of their life – the bedroom aspect was just… something they were still working towards.

And Jared could wait. He would wait. Someone like Jensen was worth waiting for.

Of course, that didn't mean Jared wasn't going to drop a hint every now and then. Just a little something to… move things along.

~

 

It was just touches at first. The subtlest kind. Brushes of his knuckles against Jensen's thighs when they were holding hands or standing close together. Brief caresses across Jensen's lower back when they were taking up too much room in the kitchen or sharing the bathroom. It was easy enough to do. They could be easily explained away as casual accidents, rather than the intentional and carefully planned acts of desperation they actually were.

And he only got bolder. He had to. Jensen's body was just too fucking much, and his ass alone was driving Jared toward insanity. If he were any less fixated he'd probably be wondering what part of this man didn't match up, where were the minor imperfections, because from the outside there was just… nothing to be picked apart.

Jared was still going to, though. He was going to pick Jensen apart and put him back together again.

So he began his advance.

When they were kissing, lips locked, chests so close that their shirt buttons were catching, Jared let his hands off their leashes and they started to wander. Down the smooth slope of Jensen's back, around the sides of his hips, thumbs running along the edges of his belt, fingers splaying across the rounded firmness of his ass. Jared's fingertips dug deep, holding on for dear life (because dear god) and he could feel the tensing of Jensen's muscles just beneath the surface of the denim that separated them. So close yet so far.

He started touching Jensen there more often, getting him used to the idea. Half-hearted pats while they were standing around the house, blurred attempts at grabbing when one of them had to move out of reach, and then followed by some more enthusiastic 'massaging' when they were tangled up on the couch, mouths occupied, shirts riding up, hips so close they could feel each other's hardness. Jared would let his hands span the entire half-globes of Jensen's ass and he squeezed, using it as leverage to bring them closer together. Jensen said nothing, he only groaned in response. And all Jared could focus on was how close he was to getting where he was going.

Getting off while fully clothed was both satisfying yet the ultimate tease. Having Jensen on top of him like that, straddling his waist, their dicks pressed together through several layers of clothing… it gave him full access to Jensen ass. Through his jeans. Such glorious cruelty. But he would never blame Jensen – could never – because Jensen just didn't quite know what it was he was missing.

But not to worry. Jared was there to help.

Thereafter belts started coming off, flies were undone, and they finally got skin to skin. Jensen's dick was one more thing to add to the list of perfect. He felt so good sliding up against him, both their hands making a jumbled but tight loop of fingers and palms to make a mess off, come spilling between the gaps. That was only his right hand, though. His left was precisely where he wanted it – wedged down the back of Jensen's pants, muscled flesh filling the cup of Jared's palm, the softest peach fuzz tickling at his skin.

He edged a little closer every time, both hands slipping under the waistband of Jensen's underwear, fingers teasing at the valley running between the two mounds of Jensen's ass. He imagined Jensen's little body-shudder the first time he touched there. Or maybe he didn’t.

Jared was deliberate about it, the moment he finally found that precious gem he was searching for. They were sitting upright on the couch, Jensen astride his lap, both of them unbuttoned and unzipped and the air around them humid with sweat and heavy breathing. Jared pulled back from their kissing and watched (observed) Jensen's face as his hands slid down, Jared's long fingers slithering through that valley, finally, desperately, discovering the rounded dip of his hole. Jensen's breath hitched, his mouth falling back open, though Jared wasn't sure if he himself was breathing at all. He circled his prize, feeling the muscle twitch with fear and anticipation. Expand, contract. I want you, but I'm not sure. Jensen had no need to speak, his body told Jared everything he needed to know.

Those first few times Jared kept it to touching only. Saliva-slick fingertips tracing round and round the tightly furled muscle, dipping just barely inside, softening him up. And Jensen's body opened to him so easily. He clung to Jared's shoulders, buried his face in his neck as Jared fingered him open, each press past the rim of his hole drawing a new sound from Jensen's lips that spilled over Jared's nape. The further his fingertips sank inside, the harder Jensen rocked against him, the more he urged Jared to dig deeper.

But Jared kept him hanging. These moments were something to be savoured.

Having Jensen emerge naked from the bathroom one night was a leap Jared hadn't thought he would make quite so suddenly, not when everything up to that point had been made in increments and incessant reassurances. But he kept his mouth firmly shut as Jensen crossed the bedroom floor, smooth freckled skin glowing under the lamplight, his bowlegs all the more obvious as he climbed up onto the mattress and settled onto his knees. Ass up.

"You like touching my ass, right?"

Jared gulped as the words hit, hearing the slight quiver to Jensen's words. Still so shy, even when Jared was so very much at his mercy.

"I mean, you're always—"

"You've got not idea, Jen. No fucking idea…"

"I want you to do… that. More. Whatever."

His throat clogged up and Jared couldn't speak as he approached the bed, but perhaps he didn't need to. He let his sweatpants fall to the floor and flung his shirt off to the side somewhere, then settled himself between Jensen's feet, his ass… Right. Fucking. There. So close. Everything he'd wanted. And goddamn it was beautiful. Pale and unblemished, blushing pink at the very centre. The muscle there twitched as Jensen reacted, insecure from the exposure but still eager to receive, to feel something new. Jared breathed it all in, settling himself into the moment. He couldn't rush this. He had to take his time. Show Jensen that his risk would be rewarded.

He slipped his palms up the length of Jensen's thighs, purposely catching his thumbs on the sweet package of cock and balls that hung between Jensen's legs. Jensen shuddered but Jared grabbed his hips and held him still, fingers digging into the flesh of his buttocks. He used his thumbs to pry the cheeks even further apart, and finally went in for the kill. Jared's lips were the first to make contact, taking those first steps, mapping out the feel of it all. The scent filtered in slowly, sweet and musky and dark. It curled through Jared's brain and egged him on, open mouthed kisses turning to short wet stripes of his tongue, rapid flicks that had Jensen rocking against his hold. He sucked the clenching muscle into his mouth, tugging at it with his lips. Then his tongue would push it back down again, licking its way inside the entrance of Jensen's tight hole, spreading it wider.

Jared worked his fingers into the mix and gently pulled the rim open, his tongue ducking deeper inside. Jensen's body was somewhere between fighting him and demanding more, letting him in deep but pulling away from the intense stimulation. Backing off for a moment, Jared let his fingers take over, two of them slipping in easily. Jared licked his lips and indulged in the muffled cries coming from where Jensen had buried his face in the pillow. Glancing down he found Jensen's cock thick and hard, curling up toward his stomach, and his balls drawn up tight like they were ready to blow.

He didn't know if it would work, not for sure, not when this was their first foray, but Jared pressed deep with his fingers, bending them slightly at the knuckle and searching for just the right angle. He leaned in with his tongue again, licking at the edge and dipping in beside his fingers. Somehow he felt it all happen at once, his fingertips slipping across that place, Jensen's body pulling taut, the rush of Jensen's voice spilling out like a sob.

Burning-hot muscles clenched sporadically around his fingers and Jared just barely caught Jensen before his legs gave out beneath him. His hand was sticky where it landed around Jensen's waist, and Jared glowed with pride as he set Jensen down gently, splatters of come scattered over Jensen's chest and the sheets, his cock all rosy pink and softening between his thighs. Pretty as a picture and more perfect for Jared than he ever could have imagined.

~

Having a taste didn't seem to sate him. Rather it only made Jared's fixation all the worse.

Where before he had relegated himself to only light touches around the house, now every time they crossed paths Jared needed more. Jensen didn't bother wearing much more than sweatpants, not when Jared just had to get his hand down there at every opportunity. Sliding his fingers down the smooth crease of Jensen's ass, fingertips flicking the soft waves of bunched up skin, rubbing slow circles around and around the edge of his hole until Jared couldn't help but slip inside, just a little. Sometimes he even let a fingernail catch, just to feel Jensen jump against him, his body clench up around him, trying to hold him there.

Jensen was still a little unsettled about it all at first, but he never stopped Jared outright. Even when they were out at a bar with friends, when Jared would purposefully skim his fingers down the centre-back seam of Jensen's jeans, right where anyone who was looking would see, all he got was a pointed raising of Jensen's brow. Jared had no doubt Jensen knew what he was up to, but he never backed away from Jared's touch.

At home it was easier, and over time it grew easier still. Lying on the couch, watching a movie, Jared would have his fingers down there, teasing and playing and opening Jensen up. Waiting for the water tank in the coffee machine to heat-up in the morning, and Jared would slip his fingers in, Jensen's body still sleep-warm and only half-awake, remnants of last night's lube still lingering just past the rim of his hole.

His greatest accomplishment, though? His greatest reward?

When they were lying in bed, Jared's arm slung over Jensen's waist. Jared didn't even realise at first, but Jensen's hand was on his, grabbing it, moving it. And Jared's fingers were urged under the elastic of Jensen's underwear, still being pushed further down.

He heated with anticipation, his eyes meeting with Jensen's, pupils dilating.

He already knew his destination.

~end