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Falling

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You’ve never felt like this before, why does your heart ache so much when she’s away? How did she drip into your veins? You sit in your office at your desk and suck on M&M’s until they melt in your mouth. And you think about her. You shouldn’t feel this way towards her, it isn’t right. She squeezed her way inside your heart and filled it until little by little you opened yourself up to her. She’s changed you and you are not easy to change. You want to bottle up these feelings and throw them away.

 

But you’re heart is lonely. It’s lonely at the top. Is she lonely way up there in the sky too? Your Kara, your Supergirl. She may think she has you fooled but you know better, her secrets safe with you though. Your guardian angel. You miss her, letting her go, promoting her was the best thing for her. But you miss her by your side.

 

It isn’t until you’ve placed your head on your desk, you rest your eyes and all you can picture is her face. You’re in a dreamy state, wanting to fall asleep but trying to find the strength to finish your work. And you hear her voice and her name whispers from your mouth.

 

Kara.

 

But a hand is gently shaking you and you sleepily rouse from your desk to be greeted with that smile that makes your heart skip a beat and you wonder if she heard that. What with her expert hearing and all.

 

“Kara. I thought you went home.”

 

You shuffle the papers on your desk and you see her unwavering gaze out of the corner of your eye.

 

And then it hits you that you whispered her name a minute ago and that damn superheroine hearing of hers. You blush.

 

“Old habits. I just wanted to finish up some things and was about to leave when I saw you had fallen asleep or so it had seemed.”

 

“Yes, well, perhaps I should go home as well. I suppose when one starts falling asleep in the workplace it’s time to leave.”

 

You know she heard her name on your lips and as you gather your things Kara just gazes at you. And you want to run, run until you’re no longer in danger of falling. But in the midst of putting on your coat she’s right there behind you helping you slip it on the rest of the way and as her hand brushes over your neck you gasp and shiver and turn towards her. A look of admiration on her face and those eyes, those eyes that look into your soul. And you can’t help it. You reach out and hug her and pull her to you and you close your eyes and hope she doesn’t push you away. And she doesn’t, she wraps her arms around you too and you let her hold you.

 

Because you miss her. And you know she knows. She knows you’re not so good with words. Well, nice words.

 

“Are you okay Ms. Grant?”

 

You just hold her tighter and you don’t want this moment to end. You just want her to stay by your side always. That way you can protect her from the world. She may be a superhero and you know she can take care of yourself but you’re so damn protective of her. You want to protect her while she’s trying to protect everyone else.

 

“Well, my dear, I fear I’m in danger of falling.”

 

You feel her smile into your shoulder and she squeezes you back before pulling away and you really don’t want her to, not yet.

 

“I’m sure if it comes to that, then Supergirl will surely be there to catch you.”

 

You smirk, “Oh, I have no doubt. She’s always catching me, usually after throwing me over a building.”

 

Kara bites her lip sheepishly and you know she’s feeling guilty about that. You both make your way to the elevator and you find yourself asking if she’d like to join you for a drink and she doesn’t even hesitate to say yes. And you smile and your heart fills and you don’t feel so lonely. You’re never lonely when she’s around, whether she’s saving your life or asking for your advice.

 

But it must be the loneliness that’s making you so attached to her. She smiles and drags you back in. It’s too late now, you’re falling, you grasp her hand and you’ve got tears in your eyes. And she squeezes your hand back and says nothing but she knows. You know she knows. And you have no idea how you’re going to survive this fall.